She Had No Choice (27 page)

When the time came, Richard drove his family to Lydia and Manuel’s place in their black and white Ford station wagon. He was able to stay with them for a few days before he shipped out.

When it was time to go, he planned to take a Greyhound Bus back to Fort Ord and would leave for Europe soon after. The time came and Eva and the children drove Richard to the bus station, wanting to send him off with hugs and kisses. He crouched down and hugged both the children at once, then kissed them both on their heads. When he hastily kissed Eva good-bye and boarded the bus, she couldn’t help but feel a bit disappointed by the lack of passion between them, knowing it would be months before they would see each other again.

On the drive back to Lydia’s place, Eva couldn’t seem to shake that feeling. Peering in the rear view mirror at her children in the back seat, she tried to think positive thoughts of her family’s new life in Germany. She had endured Richard’s infidelities and his employment ups and downs. With his military promotion to sergeant at the base in Europe, she looked forward to him having a stable job and better income. Eva also hoped Richard would finally settle down and be the husband she always wanted - someone to love her and be committed to her, and only her.

One afternoon, a couple of weeks after Richard left, Eva and the kids climbed into the car for a drive to Hollister to visit Grandma Sofía. They had planned to visit all day with Grandma and then spend the night in the cottage so they could have their last round of immunization shots the next morning.

Eva woke up early, thinking about what she had to do that day. She let the children sleep a little longer while she got herself ready and laid out their clothes.

“
Get up, get up, sleepy heads.” Eva pulled their covers back. “It’s time to get up and have some breakfast!”

She dressed each of the children, then they climbed the back stairs to Grandma’s house for the eggs, chorizo and fried potatoes. After breakfast, they all piled into the station wagon and went to the doctor’s office to get the last of their shots, with a promise of ice cream cones afterward as a reward for their bravery.

With a few sniffles and tears, they were all glad to be finished with their immunizations and leaving the doctor’s office. Eva and the kids stopped for ice cream, as promised, before driving back to San Juan Bautista. She was proud of how well her children took their shots. They had been painful, but the family couldn’t be together again without them.

It was a crisp, sunny fall day, and the drive through the country was relaxing. The leaves were turning an entire array of golds and oranges, with some starting to drop to the ground. Looking into the rearview mirror, Eva noticed the kids had nodded off in the back seat. As Eva’s car pulled up in front of the old stucco house, Lydia saw them from her kitchen window and went to the door to greet them.

“
Rory, Angie, wake up! We’re here,” Eva announced to her children. She hopped out of the car and opened the door to the back seat. The combination of the cool air filling the car and Eva’s belly tickles brought both kids out of their nap. They giggled and climbed out of the station wagon as Tía Lydia came to the front door. She called to them from the doorway.

“
Come inside, you guys, it’s cold out there. Lunch’ll be ready in a little while. Let’s get something warm to drink. Brrrr, it’s cold,” she said, rubbing her hands together.

Once inside, they gathered around the old chrome and turquoise melamine kitchen table – hot chocolate for the little ones and coffee for the grownups. The warm beverages were comforting on such a chilly autumn day.

Rory and Angie quickly finished their hot chocolate and were ready to play. Lydia and Eva chatted as the kids went outside to play on the old swing set that was left there by the previous tenants. Eva kept an eye on them from the kitchen window near the dining table.

As they sat chatting, Lydia remembered a couple of pieces of mail for her sister that she had tucked into her sweater pocket when she went out to the mailbox earlier that morning. She pulled out the envelopes and gave them to Eva.

“
Oh, Lydia, look! A letter from Richard!”

“
Open it!”

Eva hurriedly opened it, anxious to find words saying he couldn’t wait for them all to join him in Germany. Lydia watched her sister’s face with anticipation. She was surprised to see her expression fall, sadness washed over Eva’s face and tears filled her eyes. Eva laid her head down on her arm that was resting on the table and began to sob.

“
What’s wrong?” Lydia asked, baffled by Eva’s response to the letter. “What is it?”

Eva couldn’t stop crying but limply handed the letter to her sister. The words stood out on the paper as if they were written in neon lights.
“I’ve met someone else here in Germany, and I think I’m in love with her.”

Lydia was furious. It was all she could do to contain herself, knowing she needed to console her big sister at that moment. She was glad the children were playing outside, giving Eva a chance to let her tears pour out. Lydia pulled her chair close to Eva and put her arm around her. She stroked Eva’s hair and patted her back gently.

“
I am so sorry,” Lydia said softly.

Eva tried to pull herself together. She walked over to the sink and got a glass of cold water.

“
What a jerk! What an absolute jerk!” Lydia declared. “What’s the matter with him? You’re just too good for him. That’s all there is to it – you’re just too darn good for him!”

“
When I think back over all the second chances I gave him,” Eva said, shaking her head, “it just makes me sick.”

“
What do you mean?”

“
Time and again I overlooked the women, the drinking, and the spending.”

“
Are you saying there were other women?” Lydia couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Eva had never told her about any other women, any other infidelities.

“
Last year, while Richard was stationed at Fort Ord, I almost left him.” Eva paused and stared out the window, thinking back to that time.

“
It was our sixth wedding anniversary and the couple next door, the Freemans, offered to babysit the kids so we could go out to celebrate. Richard was supposed to be home by six-thirty. I took the kids next door at six o’clock and went back to our apartment to finish getting ready. I’d been saving a little money out of each paycheck and hid it away. It would pay for our celebration that evening, and I planned to surprise Richard with it when he got home.”

“
What happened?” Lydia asked.

“
By seven-thirty he still wasn’t home. So I thought I should go next door to tell the Freemans they probably wouldn’t need to babysit anymore. They talked me into staying at their apartment with them and watching television until Richard came home. So, I left him a note on our front door telling him to come next door to get me.”

“
Did he come and get you?”

“
No. About an hour later I thought I heard the front door to our apartment close and muffled voices talking and laughing in the distance. I left the Freemans and went to our apartment but no one was there.  The note was off the door, and I could smell Richard’s cologne. I ran to the window and looked out at the street in time to see him putting a pretty blonde woman into our car, and then they drove away. I went to see if my little stash of money was safe in my underwear drawer, but it was gone. Richard must’ve known I had hidden it there. He didn’t get home until about one o’clock in the morning.”

“
What did you do then?”

“
I confronted him about not coming home to take me out to celebrate our anniversary, about the blonde woman and the missing money. We had a big fight. Of course, he denied it all. Said he had to work, and I must’ve seen someone else that looked like him. Did he think I was that stupid?”

“
Oh, Eva, I’m so sorry,” Lydia said, trying to comfort her.

“
Oh, no. It gets worse. I asked him about the missing money. He said someone must have stolen it, or I misplaced it. My head was spinning. ‘How could this be happening?’ I asked myself over and over. Even though I knew what he said wasn’t the truth, I wanted it to be the truth. I needed it to be the truth.”

“
What do you mean you needed it to be the truth?” Lydia asked.

“
I didn’t have a job, and I had two small children. What choice did I have?”

“
Oh, Eva.”

“
What was I going to do? I couldn’t leave him. I had no other option but to stay. At that moment I felt like I was stuck in Mama’s shoes. I understood why she never left the old man.”

“
I’m serious, Eva, I wish you had told me.” Lydia said. “Manuel and I would have helped you any way we could.”

“
You and Manuel had just gotten married. I couldn’t ask you for help.”

“
We don’t have much, but we’ll try to help you now. I’ll talk to Manuel and see what he says.”

Though Eva was grateful for her sister’s offer, she knew the burden of what to do next rested squarely on her own shoulders.

Eva finally calmed down and was able to compose herself. The thought of her sweet children coming in and finding her crying helped to sober her up. She was a boiling pot of emotions at that moment – broken-hearted, angry, sad and feeling a profound sense of worthlessness. But she could not let it show, not any of it.

She had to stuff those feelings down and once again find the inner strength to do whatever she had to do. As much as Lydia wanted to help her, she knew she had to rely on herself to get through this, for the sake of her children and the sake of her own future.

Chapter 21:
Attempted Assault

Now that moving to Germany with Richard was no longer an option, Eva decided to move out of Lydia’s house and into the rustic cottage behind her mother’s house. She would have to share the big bed with Rory and Angie, which wasn’t ideal. But, staying in the cottage, she felt, would at least give her time to think about her next move.

Since her brother, Mateo, had been kicked out of the house by Carlos at sixteen, he had been living with their brother, Eduardo, and his wife for the past year. They had taken him in shortly after they got married. Now that Eva was living in the cottage, he asked if he could sleep on her couch and give them some privacy. She agreed to let him stay with her.

Early one morning, a couple of days after moving back in, Eva went out to the front yard to water the flowers her mother had recently planted. She always loved the quiet and crispness of the first part of the day. With the rubber garden hose in her hand, she was lost in thought about her circumstances and her future, drenching the daisies and the mums.

“
Eva?”

She was startled from her daydreaming and turned quickly in response to her name, splashing water on Alex’s pants and shoes. He jumped back and laughed.

“
Oh, man. I wasn’t expecting that,” he said, shaking the water off one of his shoes.

“
Oh, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Eva said, quickly turning the hose away. Her cheeks became hot with embarrassment. “You surprised me. What are you doing sneaking up on me like that?”

“
I didn’t mean to. I just got home from my shift and saw you over here, so I came to say hello. You must’ve been so deep in thought you didn’t hear me or my car.”

“
I suppose you’re right. My mind was somewhere else.”

“
I thought you’d be in Germany with your husband by now.”

“
No, the kids and I aren’t going to Germany now.”

“
What? Why not?”

“
It’s a long story,” she said, looking down at the drowning flowers. “I don’t want to talk about it.” Alex noticed her eyes looked sad and her voice tensed.

“
Well, I was just so surprised to see you, I wanted to come over and say hello.” Alex felt badly for Eva. He could tell something was wrong, that something had happened between her and her husband to change their plans. He read it on her face, heard it in the tone of her voice. “I’ll be around if you ever want to talk.”

“
Thanks. I appreciate the offer.” Eva answered. She didn’t want to talk about her unfaithful husband right now. Her feelings were still raw. She moved the hose to more flowers in another part of the yard, and Alex recognized that was his cue to leave.

“
It was nice to see you again,” he said as he walked out the gate and back to his house.

Eva returned to watering the plants and trying to think through her situation in the stillness of the early morning. But Alex kept cropping up in her thoughts. He had disrupted her quiet with his sudden presence, but she had to admit it was not unwelcomed. He was a good friend, and he watched over Sofía, just like he promised. If only she had married someone like him, instead of Richard, she wouldn’t be in this mess. Someone honest and hardworking. But what’s done was done, and there was no going back to change things.