She Died Too Young (6 page)

“That’s true. So, now can you see how complicated things are between me and Josh? He means a lot to me. He’s given me so much.”

Garrison sighed and stood. “Come on. Let’s go back to the library.”

“I can’t think about the paper tonight,” she confessed.

“Me either. We’ll get our stuff, and I’ll take you home.”

The trip back to the library, the collection of their books, and the drive to Katie’s house was a long, silent journey. Katie could tell that Garrison was deep in thought, and for a while, she wondered if she’d done the right thing dumping her life story on him. She was feeling uneasy and a bit disloyal to Josh. But he shouldn’t have done what he did by confronting Garrison.

When Garrison stopped his car at Katie’s house,
she fumbled for the door handle. He caught her arm. “Wait.”

Slowly, she turned toward him. He raised her chin with his forefinger. “I’m glad you told me what you did, Katie. I see now that your involvement with Josh is far more complex than most relationships. Of course, it’s up to you, but I’d rather you not tell Josh I said anything to you about his and my discussion in the gym. I know he won’t come after me, and there’s no reason for the two of you to have a fight over it.”

She nodded, feeling her heart—Aaron’s heart—thudding in her chest. “W-we still have the paper to finish,” she said. “I want to complete it … regardless of Josh.”

“All right.” Garrison smoothed her hair, ran his fingers through its thickness, and caught it in his palm. “I want you to think about something for me.”

“What?”

“I’ve only known you a short while, but I heard all you said tonight. I want you to think long and hard about your feelings for Josh.”

“I love him,” she replied quickly.

Garrison ran his thumb down the length of her jaw, making shivers race up her spine. “He saved your life,” Garrison said, as if she’d not spoken. “That’s a big debt, Katie. But I want you to consider what you really feel toward him. Is it love or gratitude?”

*  *  *

Chelsea picked up the Chance card and read, “ ‘Go directly to jail. Do not pass Go. Do not collect two hundred dollars.’ ’ She squealed and placed her Monopoly game piece in the block marked “Jail.”

“What are you complaining about?” Jillian said. “I’m the one who’s broke. Look, I’ve just landed on Boardwalk, and I can’t even afford to buy it.”

“That breaks my heart.”

The two girls were sitting in the middle of Jillian’s huge bed, the Monopoly board spread out between them. A room service cart loaded with sodas, desserts, and snack foods stood by the bed. Chelsea picked up the dice, jiggled them in her hand, and studied them closely. “You know,” she remarked, “I don’t think I’ve ever played a game of Monopoly quite like this one. Houses made out of real silver, hotels made from gold, brass game pieces—are these dice some kind of gemstone?”

“Garnets,” Jillian answered, shrugging her shoulders apologetically. “Daddy’s idea. He had the set specially made for me. He gets a little carried away sometimes, but he means well.”

Chelsea laughed. “Seems like a nice way to get carried away.”

“He’s always trying to make it up to me because I’m sick. Like he feels it’s his and Mama’s fault.”

“How could it be?”

“Bad genetics,” Jillian explained with another shrug. “Parents feel guilty sometimes. You know-responsible for the defects.”

Jillian’s explanation gave Chelsea pause. Had
her parents ever felt the same way? They’d never had other children. Was it because of fears they’d have another defective one? “But your folks had healthy kids too.”

“They did. Three others. But Daddy’s the type who remembers his mistakes, not his triumphs.”

“But you all seem so close.”

“We are. I love my family more than anything. They’re always around for me. I’ve tried real hard to not be sick, to be well for them, but I just can’t be. I’m hoping this transplant will change everything. I’m hoping that once it’s over and I’ve recovered, I can do all the things I want to do with them.”

Jillian’s enthusiasm toward getting the transplant only reminded Chelsea of her fear of it. Why couldn’t she be eager and optimistic about it the way Jillian was? She asked, “So, what things would you do?”

Jillian tipped her head thoughtfully. “I’d go on a weeklong trail ride the way DJ does. I’d herd the cattle and sleep under the stars. Daddy loves his ranch, and he’s made it plain that it will go to me and DJ when he dies. Our sisters all married rich, and they don’t care much about the ranch anyway.”

“So, once you get well, you’ll become a cattle baron?”

“Baroness.”

They giggled together and didn’t hear the knock on the door, so DJ pushed it open and stuck his
head inside the room. “Is that all you two have got to do?”

“I didn’t say you could come in,” Jillian announced.

“I didn’t ask your permission,” DJ countered good-naturedly, coming toward the bed.

Chelsea felt her heart skip a beat. She shifted on the bed self-consciously. Because of her heart problems, she’d not had much experience being with boys, but she knew when a guy was affecting her emotions. DJ was cute. Rugged-looking. Chelsea had met plenty of guys over the summer at Jenny House, but none of them had made her blood race the way DJ did.

“I thought you and Daddy were flying back to Texas this afternoon,” Jillian said. It was Sunday, and because of school for DJ and obligations at the ranch for their father, their visits were limited to weekends.

“We’re taking off soon. Trying to get rid of me? So tell me, Chelsea, is that nice of my sister?”

Chelsea’s mind went blank. “Uh—no,” she said, and felt dumb.

“I’m shocked you even showed this weekend,” Jillian needled. “Shocked that Shelby unhooked your chain and let you out of her sight.”

“You’re mean as a snake,” DJ said with an impish grin. “Shelby had a cheerleading camp to go to this weekend.”

“Why am I not surprised?”

“I don’t know why I let you bad-mouth my girl this way.” Jillian opened her mouth to retort, but
DJ covered it with his palm. “Don’t say something you’ll have to make up to me about.” He bent and kissed her forehead. “Got you last,” he said, backing away from the bed.

Jillian raised up on her knees and put her hands on her hips. “You coming next weekend?”

“Maybe. Would you miss me if I didn’t?”

“Fat chance.”

Chelsea watched the two of them give one another a long, clinging look, and realized how deep their affection for each other went. How scared each of them was of not seeing the other again.

“If they beep you—”

“Mama will call, and you and Daddy can be here in a few hours,” Jillian replied. “Now, go on and get out of here. Chelsea and I have a game to finish.”

“Don’t let her cheat,” DJ told Chelsea.

When he left, the room felt empty, as if it had somehow grown smaller. Chelsea saw a film of moisture in Jillian’s eyes, and didn’t know how to respond.

Jillian sniffed loudly, wiped the back of her hand over her eyes, turned toward Chelsea, and asked, “So, tell me, Chelsea James, how long have you had this crush on my brother?”

C
HELSEA FELT HER
face flush and grow hot with embarrassment. “What are you talking about?”

Jillian skewered her with a knowing look. “Don’t play the innocent with me. It’s written all over your face whenever DJ walks in a room.”

“Honestly, that’s just not true—”

Jillian pierced the air with a squeal. “Friends know what friends are thinking. And real friends don’t deny the obvious.”

Chelsea bowed her head guiltily. Jillian was right. What good did it do to deny what Jillian had already surmised? “Okay … so I’ve got this teensy-weensy little crush. But not to worry, he’s safe enough from me. I’m sure he doesn’t know I’m alive, what with his big romance with Shelby and all.”

“Don’t remind me. I’d much rather have him interested in a girl as special as you.”

“You think I’m special?”

“I pick my friends real carefully. I liked you from the first minute I met you at that therapy session. And after we talked, I liked you even more. All my life, I’ve been the odd one, the sick one. People are sympathetic toward me, but no one really understands what it’s like to be sick one hundred percent of the time.”

“I know what you mean,” Chelsea added. “Until I went to Jenny House this summer and met Katie and the others, I felt lonely and left out too. Everybody in the whole world seemed healthy except me. Kids on TV, in magazines—they’re all the picture of glowing health.”

“You got that right. If it weren’t for telethons to raise money for some disease or other, the rest of the world would never think twice about people like us. Let’s face it, our lives have never been normal. What I’m wondering is, if we get these transplants, will our lives be normal then?”

Chelsea pondered Jillian’s question. “Katie seems normal,” she said slowly. “But I know she can’t be completely normal. There’s stuff going on in her life she won’t even talk about with me.”

“What kind of stuff?”

“I’m not sure. But I feel that her transplant is somehow mixed up in it.”

“But she’s all right?”

“She’s all right in the physical sense.” Chelsea searched for a way to put her intuition into words.
“She’s sort of at loose ends. Distracted. I can’t explain it.”

“Loose ends?” Jillian repeated. “Like unfinished business? You know, like your crush on DJ?”

Chelsea had hoped that Jillian had forgotten her earlier observation. “Your brother’s a cute guy. I don’t get to be around all that many. Plus, he’s so sure of himself. And friendly.”

Jillian blew air through pursed lips. “Well, if I had my way, he’d notice you instead of Shelby.”

“I don’t know this Shelby, but what have you got against her? You always seem down on her, and I know that you’re really a caring person.”

Jillian flashed Chelsea a look that said,
Sure-that’s-me, Miss Nice-nice
, and both girls giggled. “Shelby’s a real pain,” Jillian said once they’d recovered from their giggle fit. “She treats me like I’m an untouchable.”

“Explain.”

“I guess there are people in the world who because they are physically perfect can’t abide people who aren’t. Shelby’s one of them. She’s a knockout in the looks department.”

The information sent a sinking sensation through Chelsea’s stomach. She recalled how pretty Lacey was, but even Lacey hadn’t acted stuck-up about her beauty. Maybe because she had an incurable illness. Chelsea didn’t know. “So, Shelby’s drop-dead pretty. How does she treat you?”

“Like I’m some kind of freak. Oh, she’s nice enough to my face when DJ’s around, but the
minute his back is turned, she’s downright hateful. You’d think what I’ve got—bad heart and lungs—might be catching or something.”

Chelsea saw that Jillian was trying to act as if Shelby’s attitude only made her angry. But she could tell that although Jillian hid her feelings behind a mask of humor, she was hurt by Shelby’s rejection. “She’s ignorant, that’s all.”

“Don’t you think I’ve tried to educate her? I really have tried to like this girl, Chelsea. She and DJ have been a twosome ever since we were in eighth grade together.”

A quick calculation told Chelsea that DJ’s romance with Shelby had been going on for three years. No simple little schooltime crush by that measure, she told herself.

Jillian continued. “I figured that if she meant that much to DJ, I should try to like her. But she’s impossible to like.”

“How so?”

Jillian dropped her head downward so that her thick head of red hair half hid her face. “I heard her making fun of me to some other girls. I was waiting by the gym after a football game. DJ plays on the high school team,” she explained. “Anyway, I was standing sort of to one side in the shadows, and I heard Shelby imitating me for her friends … you know … the way I sound when I can’t catch my breath, when I’m wheezing and trying not to black out because the pain is so bad.”

Chelsea knew. Shelby’s insensitivity made her
furious for Jillian’s sake. “That’s not right,” she said.

“They laughed at her imitation. All those girls stood there and laughed, like it was one big joke. And Shelby went on and on making fun of me and making them laugh at me.”

Jillian’s hurt seemed real enough to touch. “Why didn’t you tell DJ? I’ll bet he would have broken up with her over it.”

“He probably would have,” Jillian agreed, raising her head. “But I won’t stoop to her level. And besides, if I did, then their breakup would always be
my
fault instead of hers. And I want DJ to see her for what she really is and break off with her because of that, not because I tattled on her.”

Chelsea wasn’t sure she would have chosen such a course had it been her instead of Jillian, but she felt a growing respect toward Jillian because of her philosophy. “Hurting people just to get even isn’t your style, is that what you’re saying?”

Jillian grinned shyly. “I guess that’s it. See, I knew you understood me.”

“But what if DJ
doesn’t
catch on?” Chelsea asked.

“Given enough time, he will.” Jillian sounded ruefully confident and gave Chelsea a lopsided smile. “My daddy didn’t raise a bunch of dummies.”