She Belongs to Me (9 page)

It had been three hours since they wheeled Jaynee away to operate again. After pacing the floor of the
antechamber for those long three hours, Jordan got frustrated and searched for someone who could release information.

“Michelle!”
He spotted the nurse
who
was in Jaynee’s room earlier. He’d spoken with her in the past. She had always been rather flirtatious. Maybe he could glean some information from her. “Is there anything new? Is Jaynee out of surgery yet?” He felt his eyes fill with tears again. He had to keep himself together. He had to remain strong for Jaynee.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Monroe. There is nothing new I can tell you. Dr. McMullen will notify you the moment your wife is out of surgery. Please go back to the waiting room.” The nurse’s eyes were kind, but demanding. She would not share any information even if she had any.

Jordan felt alone. His sisters had come earlier but had to return to their families. His mother had stayed beside him, but she had to check on his grandmother who was too sick to leave the house. He informed Jaynee’s family, but then begged them not to come. They would allow only two people at a time in her room, and he couldn’t imagine having to deal with his mother-in-law’s drama. Certainly, she would make everything about her. The one person who he wouldn’t mind coming was her grandmother, but she just had surgery and wasn’t able to walk yet. Jordan assured them he would call if there was any change, but now he didn’t feel like talking to any of them. They were just as much responsible for Jaynee’s situation as he was.

He recognized the same people
who
had been in the small waiting area designated for ICU earlier. The one
couple had come, gone and returned. But one visitor, like him, seemed to be a fixture. He stared at a magazine as if he wasn’t actually reading it, his face in a trance.

If Jordan had to endure one more endless loop of news broadcasting on the local channel
,
he would go insane. It was the identical transmission over and over. At least they hadn’t picked up Jaynee’s story yet. Reporters would have a field day with that tidbit of information. He could hear it now,
cop’s wife suspiciously found shot in their home after argument.

Jordan was about to lose his sanity, when finally, Doctor McMullen stepped into the handkerchief-sized waiting area. The other man looked up in anticipation. He’d obviously been waiting as long as Jordan for information on a loved one.

“Jordan, you can come with me now.” The doctor’s tone was monotone. Jordan was unable to read if the news was good or bad.

Doctor McMullen walked in silence alongside Jordan as they headed toward Jaynee’s room. As much as Jordan wanted to pummel him with questions, he held his tongue. If Jaynee had died, the doctor would be walking toward his office not her room he assured himself.

“Jaynee is stable now, Jordan. You can go inside.”

Jordan searched the doctor’s eyes for the truth, fearful he might discover it. “What happened? All the monitors were normal. Her eyes were moving under her lids, and she looked
as though
she
were
coming around.” He spat the questions out, hoping the doctor would give him some assurance.

“Jaynee’s ICP, short for intracranial pressure, shot up. To give you an example, a normal ICP reading for someone who has a bad headache is around four to five. The worst headache you’ve ever experienced is around eight to nine. After surgery, Jaynee’s ICP has been hovering around twelve to fourteen. That’s the reason we’ve kept her in an induced coma. The alarms sounded because the pressure on her brain increased to over forty.”

Jordan dropped his head, shaking it, hoping he was still in his nightmare. He looked back up at the doctor whom hadn’t continued. The doctor had more bad news. Jordan could sense it in his eyes.

McMullen took a breath before continuing. “We had to remove a piece of her skull and some fluid to
lower the pressure, Jordan. S
he is stable now. Not where we would prefer, but we’ll take it considering the alternative.”

The alternative.
Dead.
He couldn’t imagine it. Jaynee couldn’t die. Jordan dropped his head in his hands. This couldn’t be happening. These things happened to other people. Not them. Was the doctor hiding something else? He looked back at his eyes. He was proficient in reading people. His job demanded the skill.

“What’s going to happen now? Will she awake, or will you keep her in a comatose state? Will she be okay?” Desperate for any positive information, the words rushed from Jordan’s lips.

“If the pressure remains normal, we’ll wean her off the medication in slow increments. Then we’ll have to wait and observe.” The doctor turned and walked away,
leaving Jordan with his reason for living wrapped up in additional wires and covered by thick hospital blankets.

She hated her feet covered. He reached down and
untucked
the blanket and sheet from the bottom of the bed before sitting beside his wife.

Resting his head against the side of her bed, he felt the tears track noiselessly down his face. He assumed she was through the worst and was returning to him. He felt uncomfortable talking aloud, but they insisted he needed to converse with her. Did she want to hear his voice? Maybe
he
was upsetting her.

“Jaynee, love, I’m here for you as always, as I promised from the beginning. You don’t have to explain anything, just return to me please. I told you before, nothing else matters but you
.
I love you. I don’t care what happened. I only want you back in my arms, and I know you want me too. I know you still love me.” Jordan ran his fingertips over her skin, caressing her arm. There was nothing further to say.

“Shall I sing to you? I heard a new country song the other day. It’s sad in the beginning, but it has a happy ending. It reminded me of us. It’s about a husband who is asking his wife if he still gives her everything she needs, and does he get another chance.”

Jordan sang the words in Jaynee’s ear. He didn’t like his voice, but she always commented how much she enjoyed it and how she thought he sounded like Garth Brooks. He reflected back on all the occasions they’d sing together driving to the mountains. She loved singing, and he loved listening to her…it meant she was happy, even when she was singing sad songs.

He tried to remember the words to other songs, mostly he only recalled the choruses. Jaynee always laughed when he filled in whatever words sounded best or his incessant singing to the pets.

He now wondered if everything bugged her. Did all his quirks she laughed at actually annoy her? He shook the thoughts from his head. No, she wasn’t phony. Her honesty was one of the first characteristics he liked about her.

It was something entirely different. Something from her past…it was the only logical explanation. Nothing else made sense. He knew Jaynee loved him; they were destined from the beginning.

Jaynee struggled with the immense blanket smothering her, wondering why she couldn’t just throw it off.

She hated feeling trapped. She didn’t even like her feet covered in bed. Jordan was the opposite. He had his side of the bed sheets and blankets tucked in tight
ly,
while she kicked them off as soon as she climbed into bed
,
no matter how cold it was. And they always kept it cool inside; she couldn’t breathe with electric heat.

The pain had subsided somewhat, and she could hear murmurs again, or was it singing? Was Jordan here? Why couldn’t she see him? Didn’t he see her smothered by this awful blanket? He knew she was claustrophobic, knew she hated feeling trapped.

She tried listening to the surrounding sounds. Yes, it was definitely Jordan singing in a hushed whisper, but also something else, an annoying buzzing and beeping.

Then it hit her. She was in the hospital.

This was the reason he was beside her and why he wasn’t uncovering her. Was she dying? Did they assume she wasn’t alive?

Jaynee tried to recall the last thing that happened, but there was nothing except Jordan. All she remembered was Jordan. He was angry, but she couldn’t remember why, and then he wasn’t. He was kissing her and they made love. Their bodies entangled together afterward as they always did. His arms wrapped around her. He was her strong tower. She felt safe in his arms, but there was something else.

She was afraid, but couldn’t remember why.

63

(September 2004)

Jaynee awoke blissful in Jordan’s arms.

He stayed overnight and hadn’t attempted anything. She peeked through half-opened lids to see if he was awake. He was staring out the window but obviously sensing her stir turned his gaze to her.

“Good morning,” Jordan purred. His baritone voice was deep and raspy from not speaking yet. A glorious smile spread across his face as if he had won some incredible honor.

She smiled up at him, astounded he hadn’t altered his position overnight. She considered he may have come to his senses and realized what a basket case she was.

“
Mornin
’, did you sleep well?” She knew he couldn’t have.

“Never better.
I thought we fit perfect
ly
together.” He pulled her closer to demonstrate, slid his arm underneath her and sat up with her in his arms. “However, I do need to brush my teeth. I feel rough. I don’t suppose you have an extra toothbrush?”

Realizing she may have morning breath, Jaynee inched her way out of his arms and stood up before
speaking. “Actually, I do. Would you like to take a shower, too?”

Jordan stood up beside her and pulled her back into his arms. “You don’t mind? I could just return to the hotel.” He looked down at her, his eyes forlorn. Hoping, she assumed, she wouldn’t ask him to leave.

“Don’t be silly…my grandmother and neighbors have already seen your truck. It’s not as if you can sneak away. You might as well get cleaned up.” She pulled away from him and walked toward the bathroom. “Just let me grab my toothbrush and anything else I’d rather you not see.” She giggled at the thought. She didn’t want him seeing any panties hanging on the shower rod or some other embarrassing female paraphernalia. She wasn’t accustomed to having company.

“Would you mind walking across the street to meet my grandmother for breakfast?” Jaynee called from the bathroom.

Jordan stepped around the doorframe inside the small room startling her.

“Really?
You want to introduce me to your grandmother?”

She shook her head and let out a small laugh. “Well, yeah, naturally…I told you she’s the most important person in my life.”

He suddenly grabbed her waist and pulled her to his body. He buried his head into the nape of her neck. Chills ran down her spine as he worked his way up her throat with small kisses and along the side of her jaw. He pushed back her hair so he could continue kissing her neck up to her ear. His breaths quickened. “Thank you,
Jaynee, for giving me a chance. You won’t be sorry. I’m going to love you like no one has ever loved you.”

She sucked in a ragged breath, feeling as if she would collapse any second. Jordan was rocking her world apart.
She pulled back to look at him,
certain he would decipher the trepidation in her eyes.

“I’m scaring you, aren’t I? Do you want me to stop?” His eyes, filled with nothing but sincerity, searched hers for an answer.

“Yes…No...” She buried her head in his chest, shaking it softly. “I mean, yes, you are scaring me. But, no, I don’t want you to stop.” She stepped back from his embrace. “Get ready, Jordan. I’ll call my grandmother and tell her we are coming over for breakfast.” Her vision blurred as she tried to focus on the wall behind him.
I
f she looked at his face, she
was positive she
would breakdown again.

Jaynee retrieved her toothbrush and paste, pulled out a toothbrush and some other new travel-sized items from her toiletry bag and left the room. Walking into the kitchen dazed, she picked up the phone and dialed the only number she had memorized.

Her grandmother’s gravelly voice answered after the first ring.

“Hi, Gram.
I’m bringing company over for breakfast…Yes, he belongs to the gigantic truck outside, but before you ask... No, nothing happened it was just late… I know, I know, I remember. Listen… Gram, please listen to me; this is serious. I think I just met the man I’m going to marry—” Jaynee stopped her words
dead in th
eir tracks. But it was too late;
strong arms encircled her waist.

“You didn’t leave me any toothpaste.” His voice was a low whisper in her ear. He smiled down at her as his arm reached around her shoulder to the tube of paste clutched in her hand. Squirting some out on his brush, he kissed her neck and walked away without uttering another word.

Oh, God. Oh, dear God. I can’t believe he heard me. He had to have heard me
, she thought helplessly.