Shattered Skies - Night Waves (18 page)

“What did you call me?” I said. The growing strength in my voice sounded like music to my ears. I had never heard my voice sound so confident. When I looked at him my surp
rise was reflected back at me.

“You smell so much like her that I got confused.” I really needed to know who this
she
was, I wanted to ask him but before I could, he placed a powerful grip on my upper arm and yanked me to my feet. My thoughts scattered and I felt a searing pain that ran down my arm and made me forget all but what he was saying. “I just gave you the kiss of Royalty. If you are what I think you are, then the Rose will appear on your shoulder. Now turn around and let me see. Turn around now!” he ordered. But his words suddenly trailed away, fading so far into the background that I could barely make them out. He shouted out that he had to see quickly before I woke up. He called to me to come back; crying out hollowly that he needed to see the rose for himself in a voice that stung and echoed all around me.

When my eyes twitched open again my body hurt.  At first I wasn’t sure if I was awake or if I was still trapped in that weird dream being terrorized by a man that I had never met, yet a man that I felt so intimately drawn to. I couldn’t move anything but my head and when I did I was rewarded with the sick feeling that only a concussion can bring. I tried to move my arms and legs and made no progress at all. I was petrified by the thought that I was paralyzed and then I felt the material binding my wrists. Confusion set in instantly. Was it possible that I had dreamt the entire thing? Had we even been to the Hunt yet? Everything I’d experienced or dreamt had seemed so real, there was no way that I could do it all over again if all had been a dream. I turned my head, and found out my neck was stiff and sore, and that told me something was really wrong. Even
with my eyes closed I knew something was wrong. This place didn’t smell like a cave. A cave smells damp and musky but this place smelled warm and inviting and oh so familiar. It smelled like home and as soon as the thought of home filled my head, my eyes flew wide open and stayed open because I knew I was in trouble.

I knew this place better tha
n I wanted to. I was in Akia’s bedroom. I hadn’t been dreaming. I really was at the Hunt. But if the last thing I remembered was being at the Hunt, then how did I get here? Panic was setting in. Had I lived? But that would be impossible. No one can live through a Hunt! And where was Jace? My panic increased before I could slow myself down. I used every bit of strength I had to pull against my bonds. I had to get free and find Jace. Hell I had to get free and find Darien too. They were both probably going crazy. 

“Pull on them all you want Catalina. You aren’t going to get lose unless I say so, and I will be honest, I am having a really hard time deciding if that is what I am going to let happen or not.” His voice caused chills to spread through my body. The feeling was hypnotic. I turned my head to the other side of the room, in the direction his voice was coming from.

Akia was more beautiful and breathtaking than I remembered. His hair was a mass of golden waves that would make any female jealous. His eyes were glaring at me and his lips formed a fine line of anger. Still, despite how angry and deadly he looked, there was something about him that called to me. My lips caught fire and I couldn’t pull my eyes from his mouth. I remembered what it felt like to have his mouth pressed against mine and suddenly, that was all I could think about. Arrghh! I ordered myself to pull it together. He could very well decide to kill me and I had to stay sharp. 

“I thought you were dead. I thought I would never see you again, and then you were there. Do you have any idea how horrible it was when I thought I lost you?” He was angry, really angry. Part of me was glad. I could deal with him hating me. However, I didn’t know what I would do if he started being kind.  “How is it that I wasn’t important enough for you to tell me you were OK?” Now I heard hurt seeping into his voice, I couldn’t deal with more hurt feelings.

Wait! Was it possible that he still didn’t know I was human? He had to know I had been at the Hunt. How was it that he wasn’t disgusted and pissed about my being there and yet pissed about the fact that I had returned from the dead?

“Damn it Cat, say something! Do you know how many hours I’ve spent just trying to remember the sound of your voice? I would have given up everything just to hear you say my name one more time,” he said softly. “Please say my name Cat, let me hear my name come from your lips because that’s the only time my spoken name has ever held meaning.” He was begging me to acknowledge that he was still a part of my life. I was screwed.

“Akia.” His eyes closed in ecstasy as soon as his name flew from my
lips.

They stayed closed for the longest time, like he was trying to memorize every fluctuation of sound, every wave and nuance, like maybe he thought if he opened his eyes I would dissolve and be gone. What had I done to him? I could hear my inner voice starting. I could hear that annoying little whisper that comes from inside. My inner voice, some call it instinct, was coming alive, growing and thriving, and reminding me that this monster once tried to rip out my throat, and my inner voice was right.

“You have to let me out of here Akia,” there, that was less shaky. Maybe, just maybe, he didn’t have the whole story. Maybe, not all of his dots were connected.

Maybe he thought I had been in the wrong place at the wrong time and hadn’t figured out yet that I was human. If I could just get him to let me go, I could go back into hiding and he would eventually forgot about me.  I looked up at him and the second I did I knew that I could never put him through that kind of pain again. If I couldn’t let him think that I was dead, then where did that leave me? There was little I could do, I was screwed. I couldn’t see a way out.

“Always so quick to leave me kitten. Am I really that horrible?” I needed to be mean to him right now. I needed to piss him off so much that he would get sick of me and send me away. Yes, that might work. If he hated me he wouldn’t have to mourn me. If he hated me, he wouldn’t put the time into figuring out why I was at the Hunt to begin with.

“Why in the hell would I want to be here anyway? First of all, you about ripped my throat out, second, you have me tied to your bed like some prisoner.” There, that sounded justifiably horrible, right? 

“You are tied to the bed because I wasn’t sure what was going to happen if you woke up and no one was here with you. I didn’t want you to wake up hungry and kill that pathetic excuse for a companion that you are traveling with these days. I think I liked the other moron better, and believe me Cat, that isn’t saying much.”

Jace! He must have been referring to Jace when said he was afraid I would kill my companion, so that must mean Jace was alive and somewhere close. OK, so far, so good.

“Secondly I was afraid if you woke up and I wasn’t here you would leave and I would never hear your voice again.” His voice went from jealous to fearful in two seconds flat.

I had missed
him and his emotional roller coaster ride. I didn’t know what to say, so I did what I do best. I completely ignored his emotional side. I was ill-equipped to deal with his feelings anyway, so I ignored them at all cost.

“What do you mean you were afraid I was going to wake up hungry? Let me go! And where is my friend?”

“You mean that sad little creature that talks to you like he owns you?” I almost wanted to smile at him but I didn’t think that would be prudent. He was jealous of Jace. Really? I couldn’t wait to tell Jace. 

“Yes that is who I mean, and it is none of your concern at all how he talks to me.” Good. Mean, cold and conniving. I could do this.

“You really need to keep better company, I think I have told you that before, and do you mind telling me where this attitude is coming from? I have done nothing to you, and yet you have lied to me and worse than that, you let me think that you were dead. You let me kiss you and you let me fall in love with you, a goddamned human, and you dare to give me attitude?” My stomach soured and it felt as if a knife was tearing into my guts.

I am sure that my blood turned to ice. I never wanted to hear him call me a human and I never wanted to hear him say he was in love with me. My world started dissolving. I had nothing to say. I turned my head to the right like a guilty dog and I waited for the blow that would kill me. It had to be coming. The King of all monsters was not only pining and heart sick for me but he was pissed at himself for not seeing right through the line of lies I had been feeding him.

“Look at me Cat.” I didn’t want to look at him. I didn’t want to see the blow that was going to kill me. “I said, look at me now!” I guess it was the least I could do, give him the common courtesy of looking into his eyes, while he struck me down. “What were you thinking? I could have ki
lled you, I should kill you now; if I don’t, then what am I supposed to do?”  His question encouraged me. This might not be as bad as I thought. Things could take a turn. If he was still deciding what to do, I might have a chance to get away. “You are a nothing but a useless human. What were you doing at the Ball, how did you get out of your cage?” The hardest thing that I had to do at that moment was keep my temper under wraps. I knew I had to, but let’s face it, who was I trying to kid? I had little control of my temper.

“Yes Akia, you’re right, I am a human and I belong in a cage. No one is questioning your superiority over me. Can we please just get on with this? Kill me now and burn my body. No one will ever know that you had any attachment to a dirty human that way,” I said and then I sat still and waited. I waited for him to end my life. I waited for him to scream at me.
Hell, I waited so long that I was about to offer to scream at myself, just to break the silence. When he started to speak again I jumped. My nerves were on end.

“Do you really think it’s that easy for me? That I could just kill you after everything that’s happened between us? How can I kill you when you are the only thing that has ever made me feel an ounce of compassion? I was dead before I met you, Cat. I don’t know what you think I am. I used to kill just to cause hurt and pain Cat, because watching the suffering and hearing the screams delighted me. It was the only thing that made me feel alive. Then you walked into the palace, a place where you never should have been and you changed my life. Then all I could think about was getting to spend just one more minute with you. I needed to
smell you and touch you. You turned me into a rambling mess of a man and still I wanted you. You were a challenge; a challenge that I was hell bent and determined to meet. I guess I figured, if I could just get you to talk to me, to pay attention to me, even get you to be in the same room with me without hating me, I would be able to make you see that I am not the spoiled, self-righteous monster that you think I am.”

I was screaming at myself to make him stop. I didn’t want to hear any more from him. I had convinced myself he was a monster and now he was giving me a glimpse of his soul and what I saw was completely capable of destroying the wal
l that I had built to keep him out. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t make him stop. I wanted to hear what he had to say. A part of me wanted to hear the hurt in his voice. I needed to know that I wasn’t the only one lost. I needed to know that I wasn’t the only one that had been fucked by fate, and the words flowing from his lips were so raw and filled with emotion that I knew I wasn’t. I tried as long as I could not to cry, neither of us needed that, but he just kept going and every single word brought the tears closer to running down my cheeks. 

“I died again too Cat, when you died I felt it. I knew that you were gone, I heard you tell me goodbye. I died when you did and I didn’t care about anything. I destroyed everything in my path. I killed so many rodents just because I thought maybe the next life I ended would help me cope with a life without you. But I never got there. When killing the rodents failed to satisfy me, I moved on to my guards. After all, they were the ones responsible. They were the ones that had let you in to begin with. I had no idea back then what you were, not even a hint. I didn’t know what
happened that day but I knew that someone should have stopped you at the gate and turned you away. There is so much that I don’t know about you Cat, there is so much that you have to tell me. We have to tie up the loose ends and figure out how to fix this. I have you back now. I don’t know why and I don’t know how, but I won’t lose you again,” he said, and his voice trailed off into misery and the room grew still.

My tears were falling in a steady stream. It felt so good to finally let them fall. I wanted him to see me cry, I wanted him to watch the tears slide down my face. I wanted him to see that I was just as hurt as he was. I knew there was never going to be an Us, and he had to face that too. He was the King of the world. There was no way that I could ever be anything to him but a painful memory.

“Stop crying! Now Cat!” It was more of an order than a comforting plea, but he was doing the best that he could. He looked so confused. This was all more new to him than it was to me.

I had loved Darien, and I knew how it felt to have half your heart torn out of your body, and I knew what it was like to know that that another person had the power to crush you completely with just one
word. Akia, for lack of a better phrase, was afraid. How do you comfort a man that at some point might wind up having your blood on his hands? 

“If you are scared of me Cat, you have nothing to fear. I have decided I can’t hurt you¸ but believe me I have thought about it.  I thought you were dead once and I lived through it, and I’ve thought about how much simpler would it be for me if I just end
ed your pathetic life. You are after all, just a human. I would be doing you a favor.” Before I realized it he was standing over the top of me, both of his hands raised high. This was it I thought. He had convinced himself to snap my neck. That couldn’t possibly hurt too badly, right? Just one wrenching snap and my life would be over.

I thought of my family and Darien and Jace, either of them would have been the perfect boy to bring home to the parents back in the old world. Either would have made me happy. I could feel Akia standing so close to me now. I could feel the warmth of his skin, which told me that he had recently fed. For some reason the thought of his lips drinking from someone else no longer disgusted me. Instead, a flash of jealousy coursed through me. It physically hurt. I was glad that soon this would all be over and I would never have to face any of the three men that held pieces of my heart. None of them would ever understand. They would all come to
hate me for not being able to choose between them. Death was better than disappointing any one of them. If that made me a coward then so be it. A lifetime seemed to play out in my mind in these final seconds, seconds that passed like forever. I waited for my neck to snap wanting it more so, because I could smell him, and I wanted to reach out for him. I had never been happier in my life that my hands were tied down. Not because I was afraid I would be a coward and fail to fight him off, but because I knew my untied hands would have reached out to hold him. He smelled like adventure, he smelled like the promise of everything I needed to make me feel a whole person and I wanted nothing more than to claim what he held out. I deserved it. I deserved to know how it felt to be complete for once in my life.  I was so lost in my world of self-pity that I didn’t even feel his hand close around the ring on my finger.