Shattered Skies: Beginning's End (18 page)

He looked from me to
Dr Walker who was frowning deeply but making no real objection. Darien was on his own with this one. “OK fine Cat; I will tell you, but you are not going to be the least bit pleased.” 

I wasn’t the least bit pleased already, and from the look on Dar
ien’s face I could tell that the news was going to convey an even more devastating blow than the news Dr Walker had just delivered.

“Just spill it, damn it. I am getting sick of all these mind games.” OK, so I was a little cranky but now and then, it is the only way to get the job done. 

“First of all, you didn’t save me.” 

My mouth fell open. Lucky for him, he was wise enough to give me a chance to retort. “What do you mean I didn’t save you? Don’t you go all barbaric on me
again. He would have killed you if I hadn’t stepped in. He knocked you out cold for crying out loud.” I was about fed up with his new ‘women can’t do anything’ attitude. “Your sorry ass would be dead right now if I hadn’t covered your back, and instead of a thank you, you tell me that I didn’t do anything? What is wrong with you?” 

“I wasn’t knocked out, I was faking it. So was Jax, truth be
told. I have known him for awhile. He hangs at the same clubs as me. I told him that if he wanted a good lay all he had to do was act like he was beating the shit out of me when you came along. At first he thought I was crazy, and then I told him that you were this chick that a friend of mine had been with and nothing got you hotter than watching two men fight. So Jax agreed. So when the time was right, I walked up to him and pushed him from behind and then our whole staged fight began.” He couldn’t even face me now. 

“My G
od Darien, if you wanted him dead all you had to do was ask and I would have taken care of it. You didn’t have to go through that whole charade.” It wasn’t that bad; a mistake or a lack of communication on my and Darien’s part; nothing that a nice long chat wouldn’t fix. Why did he think that I wouldn’t be that pleased? I mean, it was him that got his face kicked in because he couldn’t just ask me for help. Am I really that intimidating? 

“Cat, I am not finished. It wasn’t that simple. I knew from the stories some of the female Dominus’ have told me that Jax was really into pain and being in charge. He liked having it his way,
even if he had to hurt the women.” Darien had tears in his eyes now. I wasn’t sure where he was going with this but I was sure I didn’t like the direction so far. I went from wanting to understand to feeling crushed in less than a blink of an eye. 

“You son of a bitch! You wanted him to hurt me? You wanted me to pay for hurting your feelings? He tried to kill
me because your ego was damaged? I could have fucking died and it would have been on your hands! I hate you Darien, I really, really hate you.” I was screaming so loud that the others were starting to gather around. “You are supposed to be my best friend, me and you against the world Darien, what the hell were you thinking?”

“Catalina, lower your voice right now.” The last time I had heard Dr. Walker talk to me in that tone of voice, I was twelve and throwing a tantrum about not wanting to learn to cook with the o
ther girls. “None of this was Darien’s idea, it was mine.” 

I was shocked; that was the only way I can describe it. This man for all intents and
purpose was my father. What the hell could I have done to him to make him put Darien up to this? Was he that enraged about the Akia thing, that he thought I would be better off dead?

“Lo
ok Doc. I know you were a upset about Akia, but was this whole thing really necessary just to teach me a lesson?” I growled more than spoke the question to him

“Catalina, let me explain. No one was trying to teach you a lesson or punish you.” His matter of fact voice was really getting old. “I needed to test you. I knew that you had swapped enough blood with Akia that there was at least a 99 percent chance that you wouldn’t be able to kill a Dominus using sex, even if it was temporary.” 

“If you were so sure Doc, why did you need to test me?” I was trying to maintain a level of decorum. Dr. Walker lived life in a scientific world. Everything happened for a reason and if he couldn’t prove it, it wasn’t real. I couldn’t spite the man for thinking outside the norm. If it wouldn’t have been for his way of thinking, none of us would be sitting here having this conversation. Still, why not just ask me to go and do it with a Dominus that was less aggressive than Jax? Doctor Walker I could see myself eventually forgiving, but as for Darien, I was going to rip him apart limb from limb as soon as I could get out of bed. 

“Catalina whether or not you could kill a Dominus through sex was not what I was testing. I needed to know for sure if you
were the human in the prophecy; the person that is going to reclaim the world for the human race.” 

Oh not this stupid theory again. I couldn’t take it. “Stop right there! I am sorry Doc, but I don’t want to hear another word about your
insane predictions. We had a deal. I let you run one test and we dropped it. But from where I am sitting, it is plain to see that you went against your word.” I was still trying very hard not to be mean to this man, my father, the man that had given me the chance to live, but my famous temper was starting to get the best of me. 

“Catalina you have every right to be upset. The more I thought about it, the clearer it became. The test I ran was inaccurate because the setting was too controlled. With Akia you feared for your life and you panicked. When I hypnotized you, I made a point of telling you over and ever that you were safe and out of harm’s way. That was a mistake. I was worried about you, Cat. I wanted you to be calm while you were reliving the experience, when in truth, you should have been scared out of your mind. I knew that I couldn’t recreate that in a lab setting, so we staged the experiment in a real life situation.” 

I was refusing to believe what I was hearing. Doctor Walker had never broken a promise to me before. “I could have died back there. Why aren’t either of you understanding that?” I was lost. These were the two most important men in my life and they had used me. They had let some monster rape me. I could have died for real. 

“Cat, none of that matters now. I was right. You have to understand. You are the girl in the prophecies. You are here to save us all.” He was looking at me like I was some mystical being and I couldn’t stand it anymore. 

“What do you mean, none of that matters? I could have been killed and it was all in the what…the name of science? Could you have lived with my murder on your hands? Am I just an overgrown lab rat to you?” My temper was gone, it went the way of any trust I had managed to hold on to. 

           “Catalina nothing bad was going to happen. Darien was in the room the entire time.”  As soon as he said it I think he realized it was a mistake. I turned and glared at Darien who had somehow managed to sneak into the corner where he was being so quiet I wasn’t even sure that he was breathing. 

“You were in the room?” Darien never even blinked; he just kept staring at the floor. “Answer me! Damn it Darien! You were in the goddamn room!?” 

“Look Cat, Doctor Walker was convinced that we had to test the theory. If you have the power, then we had to know before you hurt yourself.”  I did not think I had ever been this angry before in my life.

“You not only tracked down some bastard that gets a thrill out of beating on women and then tricked me into screwing him, but you stood there and watched while the son of a bitch raped and strangled me? You watched him the entire time?” It was too much to take. It meant I was totally alone. It wasn’t me and Darien against the world anymore, it was just me. 

“Cat, Doctor Walker said that it was the only way that we would ever know the truth; we were doing it for y
ou. After what I watched what you did the other night, I know that he was is right. You have so much power that if you don’t learn to control it you might seriously injury yourself and we can’t afford to lose you. The world can’t lose you.” 

Darien was begging me with his voice to understand why they had to do it, but I wasn’t in a very understanding mood; shocked, appalled, pissed and scared yes, but nowhere in that cocktail of emotions was there even an ounce of understanding. I didn’t want to believe that some dead guy had dreams or visions about me. That was downright creepy, and not to mention the amount of pressure that would be placed on my shoulders if everyone truly believed that I was born to save the world.

I would deal with that later. Right now I had to figure out how not to crumble to pieces right there on that table. My best friend had not only watched me get violated, but he did it because he thought he was doing me a favor. I would not be able to close my eyes for a long time without seeing Jax’s face or hearing his snarling voice and they thought that this was OK?

“Catalina, we did you a favor. You will never live up to your potential if you keep refusing to believe that you are gifted. We all saw it. I even videotaped it so you couldn’t argue that we were both just delusional. Everyone has watched it Cat
, and the evidence is pretty clear.” 

For the first time in my life I think I truly hated the man that made my existence possible. He was calmly talking about me like I was some case study in one of hi
s books and I hated him for seeing me as a lab rat instead of one of his children. 

“Let me get this straight. You two not only watched this guy rape me, but you videotaped it and brought it home and let everyone sit back, relax, and see me being abused? To top that off, you claim by doing this that you were doing me a favor? What is wrong with you people? What you have been doing and watching for the last week while I was asleep makes you worse than the monsters! I am leaving and I am done with this family. I would be better off on my own. At least I don’t have to worry about me betraying myself. You are all dead to me; each and every one of you mean nothing to me now. You no longer exist in my world.” 

“Catalina I demand you stop talking like that and calm down. You are angry and you are speaking from anger. Everyone in this room loves you and we want to help you. Everyone knows you’re scared.”

            “Ha! Scared Doc? Well I guess I have to give you that one because I am scared. Scared to death of what you lunatics might do to me next to prove your irrational theories.” I was up and out of bed when Darien grabbed my arm.

“Cat, please stop. You are not well enough to leave here yet. You can hate me for the rest of your life and I wouldn’t blame you, but please don’t leave here like this. Just
lie down and get more rest and then if you want to go no one will stop you.”  That is right, plead. You should feel horrible. I was looking for my shoes when I noticed the ring was resting on my finger where it belonged. I guess whoever saved me had taken the time to get the ring off  Jax’s finger and back on mine.

“No offense Doc, and not to seem disrespectful, but after what you did? You don’t have the right to request that I stay. I am going. I am leaving here and you will never see me again.” 

“That is fine Cat. I understand, but you have to stay here until you are better. Please?” Darien held tighter to my arm, willing me to stay right where I was.

If I really was this freak that could kill people with my mind, why the hell hadn’t he dropped over yet? “I suggest if you know what is good for you, you’ll let go of me right now!” There was that voice again; the emotionless, cold as ice voice; the voice that nightmares were made of. I was sure that I could have killed him and not felt bad about it till after the fact, and I think when I looked him in the eyes, he must have seen exactly what I was feeling because he released my arm almost like it was burning him and he just stood there staring at me like he expected me to burst into flames.

“You know, you can say what you want about Akia. He is a monster, I get that, but what does that make you? I was dying in there, and you fucking watched. What the hell does that make you Darien?”  His not answering just fueled my fire even more. “You aren’t even man enough to answer me, you are pathetic. You know that right?” They were all looking at me like they expected me to do something unnatural and that was all it took to make me walk out the door.

“Sorry boys and girls the freak show is over for today.”

As I was walking out the door I heard Darien say that he would go after me. Then someone else, maybe Jaden, said “man she isn’t going to be very happy to see you but maybe she will talk to me so I am going with you.” I had news for them. I had no intention of talking to either of them. I did, however, have someone else to settle a score with. Akia. Akia had been there; I felt him and he had abandoned me just like the rest of them and I wanted to know what he had gained from it.

I had never felt more betrayed in my life. I had been raped. I had read about how human
women use to feel like it was their fault and blame themselves after rape. I could live with blaming myself; if it was my fault that it happened, I could deal with that. It was the fact that my family set me up that I couldn’t process. What kind of sick minded person wants to put someone through that? Especially someone that they were supposed to love? I had been raped; there was nothing I could do to change that. I could live with it; however, knowing that everyone in my life had seen it happen was sickening. How could I ever look any of them in the eye again? 

I had thought I was dying and I had accepted it. I gave up fighting and just lied down and took it. I looked weak and frail. I was a joke. It wasn’t bad enough that I was ashamed of myself for not trying to fight harder, but now everyone knew that I was a quitter. I had decided to stop fighting and sealed my own fate. I would never be taken seriously among them again. How could I ever overcome that?