Shattered Puppet (Rag Doll) (4 page)

Kendle wasn’t ready to tell her sister. She knew she’d have to eventually. Graham offered to hire a lawyer. They could go after their father and finally put him away. She knew Cree wanted to hide from the past, but Kendle wanted to drop the weight off her shoulders. Her father belonged in jail, and with Graham’s lawyer she would be able to go about it the right way.

She could do it without Cree, but the case would be stronger, and his jail term might be longer if she cooperated. It’s not like Kendle wanted to rehash the past. She didn’t want to relive the nightmare, but maybe if they locked him away, there would finally be a sense of relief and justice.

She’d have to tell her soon. Kendle was meeting with the lawyer the following week. With Graham by her side, she finally felt like she could tackle the monster that’s been haunting her for so long.

Carter rolled over and hit the off button on the alarm clock. What he wanted more than anything was to hit the snooze bar, but he had work to do. He’d give it one last shot tonight. If he couldn’t get any information, he’d move on.

Carter’s stomach knotted thinking about his lack of action so far. Without the girl, everything still sat heavily on his shoulders. The money
, his uncle, the rest of his life… If he was lucky, he’d end up with broken kneecaps and out a lot of cash. If he wasn’t so lucky, he might disappear. He was a realist. No point in lying to himself. He knew what the family business was about. He never wanted to be in it and just worked at one of the laundering places, but he knew about the darker side and the drugs they moved.

Cart sat up and
rested on the edge of the bed for a few minutes. It was the middle of the night. He’d normally be sleeping, but the dingy, seedy time of night were the prime working hours for Cree. Drunks would be stumbling out of bars, lonely guys would pay for some action, and shady people would slip a girl a few bucks and never tell their wife or girlfriend what they did.

Carter stood and
pulled on his jeans. Taking a big stretch, he stopped before the mirror. What happened to his innocence? What happened to his integrity? Where was the moment he thought it was okay to skim off the top? That single moment, that single bad choice was unraveling. Now he was left to pick up the pieces. He had nobody to blame but himself.

He had to face his fears. If he didn’t find the girl, he’d have to go back empty handed. He could run, but what was the point. If he wanted to straighten out his life, he’d have to stand up to what he’d done. He’d need to pay it back and get on with his life. It would ruin him financially, but the money was never his to start with. He could leave town, but not until he cleared his name.

It was time to be a man. He’d already taken the easy way out, taking something that wasn’t his to get ahead. That got him nowhere fast. At first it was a rush, a thrill to score the extra money unnoticed. Then it became greed. Only he was noticed. They let him get in deep enough that he couldn’t get out. When his uncle clued him in, it was too late.

One last stop. One last visit. Pulling up alongside Fifth and Main, he called her over.

Cree looked toward Carter’s car. Great. It was him again. What now?

“Hey. I’m leaving. I was going to ask you again, but I think I just need to face the fire.
I’m sorry for harassing you.” He was genuinely sorry. He felt like a dick. When it came down to it, he did things he wasn’t proud of.

She didn’t know what he expected her to say. But the tiniest bit inside of her wasn’t ready to never see him again. She wasn’t even sure where that came from. It’s not like he was nice to her. It’s not like he was suave and sweet talking. It’s that she recognized herself in his eyes…when he let the desperation show. She understood. She knew desperation.

“Aren’t you going to offer me dinner first?” She asked with a shrug.

He laughed sarcastically. “Yeah, sorry about that.” He thought she was joking.

“There’s a diner two blocks from here.” She noted.

“You’re serious?”
How could she be serious? As much as I badgered her, and she told to leave her alone…she’s serious?

“Sure, why not. I’m not seeing much action out here tonight anyway.”
What was this? What was the point?

“Umm, okay?” He didn’t seem sure about this.

Whether he offered good attention or bad attention, she rarely wanted either. And being treated well wasn’t something she was used to. Healthy relationships were never a part of her life. And yet…she didn’t want him to leave. Not yet. She had no clue why. In fact, her reaction was a surprise. She figured hearing he was leaving would be great news. No more finding him in her room, no more knocking at her door, no more lies, no more hostility…and yet something clawed her insides.
Don’t go
.

Cree got in the car and pointed. “Two blocks up that way. There’s a lot to park in the back.”

“You really want to do this?” He double checked. He still didn’t believe her.

“I have nothing else going on.”
She looked out the window.

“You aren’t my biggest fan. What’s going on?” He quizzed.

“I figured you could tell me more of your story. You owe me at least that…”

“Oh. Yeah, I don’t want to talk about it. Do you want to tell me your story?”
He responded.

“No.” She got it. Both of them had secrets.

“Maybe this isn’t a good idea.” He rubbed his temples, frustrated.

“Whatever.” She got out of the car.

“Wait.” He called her back. “Let’s go get a bite to eat.”

Cree stared at Carter, thinking. Maybe he was right. There was no point. “I’m going to pass.”

Carter got out of his car. “Cree?”

She turned around. “What?”

“Let’s go get some dinner.” He looked sincere enough.

She shrugged. “Suit yourself.” She turned around and got back in his car.

What was this push and pull? There was something pulling them together as much as pushing them apart.

Carter drove the two blocks and pulled around the back of the diner. Getting out, he waited for Cree to join him. They walked in silence. She wondered if this was a mistake. She had nothing to say. She wasn’t even sure why she was here.

“Do you ever want more?” She asked.

“More what?”

“More out of life…” she trailed off.

“More is what got me in trouble.” Wasn’t that the truth? His greed is what got him here.

The couple was seated at a corner booth. Ordering a couple of drinks, they perused the menu.
Cree got a BLT wrap with fries and Carter ordered a burger slathered with barbecue sauce and onion straws. Sitting picking at the food, the conversation barely moved.

Carter cleared his throat. “Why did you want dinner?”

“I don’t know.” She truly didn’t know.

“Was it about the food or talking to me?”
Carter was curious. It was an odd turnaround from the last few days.

“I can
afford to pay for my own food.” She sniped at him, offended.

“I didn’t mean it that way. Then it’s not about the food. You’re not exactly my biggest fan. Why did you want to talk to me?”

“Why not?” She shrugged.

“I’ve been rude, in your business, and an ass. Are they the qualities you’re looking for in a friend?”

“What are friends…” she trailed off.

“
Don’t have many these days?”

“Few and far between.”
Why was she even talking to him? It’s none of his business.

“You
’re obviously friendly with Crystal. You wouldn’t give up her information.”

“And I still won’t,” she warned.

“Fair enough.”

Cree looked into Carter’s eyes. “I saw myself in your eyes,” she admitted. “The
desperation was your truth. I guess it just comforted me that I wasn’t alone.”

“In being desperate?”
He quizzed.

“I feel alone so much anymore, even surrounded by people. I used to like being alone. It was easier. Only now, sometimes I’m lonely.”
It was a hard thing to accept. She never needed anyone, and having her sister was enough. Trust was a big piece of the puzzle, but she was weary and worn down. Something told her that she couldn’t do this forever. Selling herself… it couldn’t be the only way. She watched so many girls get ruined, fall into drugs with bad people, and with a glimmer of the past in her eyes she remembered wanting more.

Carter nodded in understanding. He met her eyes. Their gaze smoldered. Cree looked down at her food and picked it apart.

“My family is part of a money laundering scheme. We pass drug money through different channels.” He couldn’t believe the words were coming out. “I got greedy. It landed me in trouble. In this line of business, even family can be the enemy.”

“Are you scared?”
She was glad he was finally talking.

“Yeah. I thought I could get away with it, skim some off the top. I was told otherwise. If I go back, it’s going to be ugly, but I have to face the fire. I thought maybe I could find the girl they wanted. She took some information. I don’t know much more.”

“I still can’t help you.”

“I know. I’m not asking you to. What about you?”

“I had an abusive father. We left home a few years ago. It was safer on the street than it was in my own home. I won’t go back. This is my life now.” He noticed she spoke without emotion. No regrets, no pain, no anything. It would have sounded the same if she said she wanted a side of mayo with her sandwich.

“I’m sorry.”
He said, on hearing on story.

“For what?”

Carter caught her eye. He saw the pain, but her voice didn’t waver. He nodded.

“It’s all I’ve known for the last few years, but I’m tired. I don’t know what I want anymore. I don’t know how to dream. Every dream I have turns into a nightmare.”
Sadly, that was the truth. The ache in her words, so subtle he could have missed it, but there it was.

“What will you do next?”
He asked.

Cree shrugged. “I’m not going anywhere. This is all I know.”

“What about your sister?”

“She broke free, but she’s stronger than I am. She’s always had more fight than me.”

Silence. Carter looked at Cree and swallowed hard. “Can I see you again?”

Cree laughed. “What for? You want to hang with a hooker?”

“I could use a friend. It sounds like you could too.” It was risky, but the girl was growing on him.

“Friends are dangerous. You’ve got to watch who you trust.” She said, eyeing him.

“I think I can trust you. You wouldn’t give up information on Crystal. You seem pretty solid.”

“But I can’t trust you,” she said sadly. “You broke into my room. Do you know that lock on the door was the thing that helped me feel secure for the first time in ages? You violated that. Now I know that anybody can come in when they want. I can’t live with the fantasy of feeling safe behind a locked door anymore.”

He realized how big that was in her world. “I’m truly sorry.” Carter looked down. It wasn’t just about going into her room for some shred of information; he’d taken her sense of security away. “Again, I’m sorry.” He stood and fished out a few dollars from his pocket. Tossing it on the table, he turned to leave. “You’re right. I wouldn’t make a good friend.”

As he walked away, she couldn’t get the look on his face out of her mind. Spinning around, “Carter, wait.”

He turned on hearing her voice.

“Come back.”

Slowly he went back to the table and sat.

“What do you want from me?”

“I don’t know. What do you want from me?”

“I don’t know.” But something in his eyes, her heart wrapped up around him. She didn’t want him to leave
…not without her. “Can I come with you?” The words took her by surprise.

“What?” He wasn’t sure if she was joking. They were the last words he was expecting. Why would she want to go with him of all people?

“I don’t want to be alone. I need a change.”

Carter shook his head. “My family is dangerous. You don’t want to be around them.”

“My family destroyed me.” Her voice fell flat.

“I thought you didn’t like being around me?”

“I thought so too. But when you got up to leave, something inside of me panicked. I’m not ready for you to go.” The words felt foreign. Where were they coming from?

“I could stick around another day or two,” he said, his gaze now locked on the girl in front of him.

“Okay.” She didn’t know what else to say. He was hardly someone she should be dabbling with, and yet she wanted him around. Cree swallowed, “Thank you.”

Carter nodded. “Sure.”

After paying the bill, Carter and Cree walked back out to the car.

“I can walk,” she said. “It’s only two blocks.”

“Why don’t you come in for the night? I’ll cover your time.”

She nodded. “Okay.”

Getting in the car, she was still baffled by what was happening here. Something was happening. She just had no clue what it was.

On returning to the hotel, he followed her to her room. “I’ll show you a trick.” Showing her how to mark the door with tape, she’d know if someone had been in her room uninvited.

The sat in the hotel room together. Carter on the small sofa and Cree on the square arm chair, both looking at the other, neither knew what to say.