Shattered Lives (33 page)

CHAPTER EIGHTY-FOUR

Waukesha, Wisconsin

             
They sat in a circle and talked.  Cans of soda forgotten.  Video game on pause.  The shower Stephen was going to take on hold.

              At first it was getting to know you kinds of things: what sports they were good at, classes they liked or hated, teachers at school, movies and books and TV shows.  Gradually it got deeper.

              Gavin, who was the least talkative of the guys, mostly watched and listened because he was interested in what the other guys had to say.  Normally a jokester and quick-witted, Garrett felt at a disadvantage because he didn’t know any of them, so he took a cautious approach, and like Gavin, listened more than talked.  Just as in the hospital, Mike and Stephen were open and honest and held nothing back. 

Finally Gavin spoke up and said, “Tim, that night you were taken . . . what happened?”

Tim squinted off in the distance and said, “I was going to your house, and I was at the corner of my street when I was grabbed from behind. They covered my mouth with a cloth, and the next thing I knew, I was naked, in a van, and my arms were chained to the wall.”

“That’s what happened to Mike and me!” Stephen said. “Two guys grabbed us from behind and threw us in a van.  I woke up, and Mike and I were naked and guys . . .”  He stopped and looked at Mike, and then said quietly, “All the way to Chicago.  Three guys.  Mike and then me, and then Mike again.”

He turned to Mike and said, “We got to Chicago and that was the last I saw you, I didn’t know if you were alive or dead.  Two guys dragged you to the end of the hall.  They shoved me in a room, and I thought it was just us.  At first I heard you screaming and crying.  Then I didn’t hear you anymore, and I thought . . . I thought . . .”

Mike reached over and took hold of Stephen’s arm. 

Stephen said, “I was so scared.” He looked at Tim and said, “I thought Mike and I were alone until you and Brett came into my room.”

Mike looked from Stephen to Tim and back to Stephen and said, “You never told me.”

Stephen looked down at his hands, and Tim jumped in and said, “Butch . . . the ugly fat guard wanted Stephen to make a movie with Brett and me.”

“A movie?” Gavin said.

Garrett grew pale.  He knew about movies.

“Stephen did me while Brett did him.  That way, I could tell him what was going to happen to him and you.”

“You did Tim?” Mike asked Stephen. “Brett did you?”

Stephen blushed and looked away, ashamed.

“He had to, Mike. You know what happens if you didn’t obey,” Tim said gently.

“No, no, that’s not what I meant.  I didn’t know, that’s all,” Mike said shaking his head.  He reached out and held Stephen’s arm gently. “It’s okay, Stephen.”

Stephen wiped his eyes, “I know it sounds bad, but I didn’t mind being with Tim and Brett because I knew you and I weren’t alone.”

“It’s okay.  Really,” Mike said.

Stephen wept and couldn’t make eye contact with any of them.

“All new guys have to make a movie their first night,” Tim explained to Garrett and Gavin. Then to the group he said, “I think the worst part for me was thinking I was the only one.  They put me in a room, and the guards took turns.  It wasn’t until Johnny and a guy named Travis came in my room when I found out I wasn’t alone.  I was still scared, but I knew I wasn’t alone.”

Garrett said, “It was different for me.  We heard rumors about my coach.  Nobody said anything, just . . . rumors. My friends Phil and Danny went to his house a couple of times.”  He shook his head, looked down at his hands, and said, “I wanted to be captain.  He said if I did . . . stuff, I could be.  He said he had to get to know me better.”  When he looked up, there were tears in his eyes. “It was sick.  I didn’t like it.”

It was Gavin who slipped his arm around Garrett’s shoulders and said, “It’s okay.”

Mike said, “Been there and done that.  Tim . . . me . . . Stephen.  We all did that stuff.”

“Yeah, but you had to.  I didn’t,” Garrett said with a sob. “But I’m not gay, honest!”

“We know that, Garrett,” Mike said.

“My dad thinks I’m gay,” Stephen said. “I’m not, but he thinks I am.”

Frustrated, Tim didn’t know what to say and his expression showed it and it was a while before anyone spoke.

“You know . . . it’s like I don’t belong here,” Gavin said quietly.

“You belong here, Gavin,” Tim said. “These past two years you went through hell.”

Gavin looked at him and said, “It’s not the same, Tim, and you know it.”

“For two years, you went through hell, Gavin.  How many times did guys make fun of you? Your friends turned their backs on you when guys made fun of you.  You were treated like shit and for no reason.”

Gavin shrugged.

“For two years, who did you talk to besides your mom?”

“Just my English teacher.”

“Wait . . . why?” Stephen asked. “I don’t understand.”

“Because I said something stupid about Tim.”

“What?” Mike asked. “What did you say?”

Gavin looked at Tim, who nodded encouragement. 

He told them about the fight at baseball practice and said, “I just wondered if Tim was alive and if he had to, you know, do stuff, if he would be gay or something.”

Stephen and Garrett sat back and nodded.

“But I didn’t mean it like it sounded.”  He blushed, got flustered and said, “I was just kind of thinking and it came out.”

“I told you, it’s okay,” Tim said.

“Sometimes . . . I don’t think I am, but sometimes I wonder about it,” Stephen said quietly.

“Me, too.” Garrett said. “I mean . . . I didn’t have to go to my coach’s house.”

“Guys, listen . . . just because you did stuff with a guy doesn’t mean you’re gay. The stuff you did, did you like it? You wanna keep doing that shit?”

Gavin, Tim and Mike watched Stephen and Garrett wrestle with the thought, their faces registering disgust.

“You’re not gay.  You’re not!”

Tim let them sit with that thought and then he turned to Gavin and asked, “You forgave Kaiden, right?”

Gavin’s face hardened and he said, “Yeah, but I don’t trust him.”

Tim sighed.

“I’m sorry, Tim. I know he’s your best friend, and I know you like him more than anyone else, but . . .” he shook his head and said, “I don’t trust him.”

“Gavin, I . . .” Tim didn’t finish his thought.

“The only person who knows what I went through was my English teacher.  He had me write letters to you.  Every night before I went to bed, I’d write you a letter.  I was pissed at you for not being there.  I was afraid you were dead.  I really missed you, and I wanted you back.  I was, I don’t know, just pissed off.  I didn’t have anyone to talk to.  I didn’t have anyone to be with.  No one liked me.  Guys made fun of me.” He stopped and shook his head.

“Did Kaiden and Cal make fun of you?” Tim asked.

The hurt in Gavin’s eyes was palpable, and he was close to crying when he said, “No.  But they’d laugh and never did anything to stop the others from making fun of me.”

Tim reached out and took gentle hold of Gavin’s hand and said, “I’m sorry, Gav.”

Tim let go and Gavin said, “When those three assholes showed up at the game tonight and started picking on Garrett, I got so angry because it was like what happened to me all over again.” He turned to Garrett and said, “And I wasn’t going to let that happen to you.”

Garrett smiled at him.

“You’re always the first to stick up for someone. I do like Kaid and Cal.  Kaid is like a little brother to me, and I’ve known Cal forever.  But Gav, I love you, and we’ll
always
be friends.  I
want
to be friends with you.”

Gavin wiped tears from his eyes.  Tim embraced him and whispered something to him that no one else heard, but it caused Gavin to smile and nod. 

Then Tim kissed his forehead and said, “Friends?”

Gavin nodded and said, “Of course.”

There was silence as the guys wiped their eyes and smiled at each other self-consciously.

Finally Gavin laughed and said, “I don’t know about you guys, but Tim, you changed a lot.”

“Well, having some pervert’s dick in my mouth or up my ass twenty-four-seven kinda changes a guy,” Tim said with a laugh.

All of the guys laughed and Tim said, “How do you mean?”

“Well, I’ve never seen you cry before.  Ever.  You hug me . . . us.  You’ve kissed me and Mike.  You’ve never done that kind of stuff before.”

Tim thought about it and said, “Guys, listen.  I almost got killed twice. 
Twice! 
I decided after George saved me that from now on, I’m going to say what I mean and show how I feel and if guys don’t like that, tough shit.”

“Some guys might not understand, though,” Stephen said.

“And if they don’t, who gives a shit?” Tim said defiantly.  “I don’t.”

Mike nodded, “I don’t either.”

Heads nodded and Gavin reached out and took hold of Tim’s arm, and Tim and said, “I love you.  All of you.”

The guys smiled and nodded and wiped more tears from their eyes.

CHAPTER EIGHTY-FIVE

Eureka, Missouri

             
The boys sat in the fading sunshine on metal chairs around a small table at a Baskin and Robbins a block away from the hotel.  George loved ice cream.  He could eat ice cream several times a day, each day, and never get sick of it. 

Which is why when he didn’t order anything except a bottle of water, Randy said, “Are you sick or something?”

George hadn’t heard him, or if he did, didn’t acknowledge it.

“George, are you okay?” Randy asked with a nudge.

George didn’t answer.  He stared off in the distance, eyes glassy, vacant, jaw set.

Randy, Billy and Danny stared at him.  Finally, Billy shook his arm and said softly, “George, what’s wrong?”

George was certain the voice he heard was his grandfather’s.  Yet, his grandfather wasn’t talking to him, at least not directly.  His Grandfather was warning someone, encouraging, and giving directions.

Who?

CHAPTER EIGHTY-SIX

Waukesha, Wisconsin

              Stephen went upstairs to take a shower.  Gavin and Garrett went back to Wii.

              “Anybody hungry?” Mark shouted down the stairs.

              A chorus of, “Yeah!” or “Yes, please!” came back at him.

              “Mike, come on up and order pizza,” Mark answered with a laugh.

              That was when Tim saw him.

              He wore a plaid shirt and a leather vest, faded blue jeans and dusty cowboy boots.  His long gray hair was tied in a single braid.  His face was brown and wrinkled, and he smiled at Tim.

              Tim was certain he was the only one who could see him. 

              Or hear him.

              ‘
Yá'át'ééh.’

             
It was clear. It was loud enough for anyone in the basement to hear.  But Gavin and Garrett didn’t hear it, and Mike was on his way upstairs.

              Tim nodded.

              ‘
The dark boy and the blond boy are in danger.’

              ‘From who?’

              ‘He’s almost here.  You need to go up and protect them.’

              ‘Will you be with us?’

              The old man smiled and nodded.

             
Tim licked his lips.

              “Guys, I’m going up to help Mike.”

              “Yup,” Garrett said without turning around.

              Gavin didn’t answer, but turned for just a second to give Tim a smile.  Tim loved Gavin’s smile.  It was sweet and innocent and kind and good.  His eyes disappeared behind thick eyelashes.

              Tim wondered if he’d ever see that smile again.

CHAPTER EIGHTY-SEVEN

Eureka, Missouri

             
George stood up slowly and dropped the bottle of water on the table, spilling part of it in Billy’s lap, who jumped up out of the way.

              “What the hell?” Billy said.

              George made no move to mop up the water with napkins like Danny and Billy did.  Instead he stared off in the distance, mouthing words of a language the three boys didn’t understand.

              “George, what’s wrong?”

CHAPTER EIGHTY-EIGHT

Waukesha, Wisconsin

             
Mark and Mike were hunched over either side of the counter with the phone in Mark’s hand.  He spoke into it, ordering two large pizzas, one with extra cheese, and one with extra cheese and pepperoni, along with an order of garlic cheese bread and marinara sauce.

              “Where’s Stephen?” Tim asked.

              “Shower.  End of the hall, last door on the right,” Mike answered.

              Tim walked down the hall and knocked on the door. 

“Stephen?”

              “Yeah?”

              Tim opened the door and shut it behind him.

“You almost done?”

              The water stopped and the shower curtain opened and Stephen said, “Yup.”

              “You trust me, right?”

              “Yeah, what’s up?” Stephen said slowly.

              “I’m not sure, but dry off, get dressed and stay back here somewhere out of sight.”

              Stephen grabbed a towel, dried off his face, but stared at Tim.

              “Okay?”

              Stephen nodded, fear evident in his eyes.

              ‘
Be careful.  He’s here.’

             
Tim left the bathroom, shut the door and walked down the hallway towards the living room.  When the doorbell rang, he stopped in mid-stride.