Sharon Poppen (35 page)

"A man who is home each night for supper and bed. Look at me. Really look at me. I'm gone for months at a time. And it looks like it's going to be this way for a long time."

She was silent for a while. Her hand rested on his arm. Then she leaned against him and buried her head in his chest. He wrapped one of his arms around her shoulder, then reached up with the other and stroked her glorious mop of red curls.

"Do you truly love me, James Farrell?” Her voice was so soft Michael barely heard the question.

"My God, yes.” His brother whispered into her hair.

"Then what difference does your traveling make?" She looked up, took his face in her hands, pulled it down and kissed him full and firm on the lips. "I know you are the man God meant for me to share my life with. We will live the way we have to, but we will have each other when we can."

"But, Nora, you really don't know what we do when we're away. And it isn't safe for you to know. Can you live with that? Soon our reputations will cause many things to be said about us. Do you have enough faith and love to endure our times apart and ignore the accusations?"

"I don't know. Not for absolute, of course.” She answered quietly and honestly before continuing. “But look at your Ma. She loves your Pa so very much. Look what they’ve been through. I only know I love you and can't imagine my life without you."

They were silent a long time. Neither of them willing to break the eye embrace that held them motionless. Finally, Jim took her hand, led her to a bale of hay and motioned for her to sit. He knelt on one knee and looked up at her.

Firmly, with a smile on his face, he asked, "Will you marry me, Nora Cassidy?"

There was no hesitation. "Yes, yes, yes!” She laughed and fell into his arms knocking them to the floor.

They kissed and snuggled for what seemed like an eternity to the snooping Michael. He was beginning to wonder how he was going to get away when Danny came running in to look for him. He tripped and fell on top of the startled couple while still yelling for Michael. Jim and Nora got to their feet and helped Danny to his.

Jim smiled and walked toward Michael’s hiding place. "Michael?”

Michael emerged blushing from head to toe.

Nora was unabashed. She held out her hands. "Come here, little brother. I guess you're the first to know that I'm truly to be your sister."

At dinner that night, the grinning couple had Michael make the announcement. It came as no surprise to anyone, but certainly brought joy to the entire family. The following Saturday, the family went to town and Jim and Nora were married by the local preacher.

A year later, Patrick James Farrell was born. Two years later, Sarah Elizabeth Farrell was born. Jim's traveling made for a difficult family life, but Nora and Ma somehow continued to hold the family together.

*****

Would sleep never come, Michael wondered as he stretched, yawned and put his hands behind his head. Jim had sure been right when he told Nora that soon people would start talking about the Farrell's. Lawmen came around periodically to ask questions. The ranch was occasionally kept under surveillance. The system of the water pails for the horses was set up so the men would know if it was safe for them to come in. When they did, they had to stay inside. The family had to carry on like normal going to school or church and such. The townsfolk, for the most part, were good to Ma and Nora. Michael and Danny went to school and, except for remarks now and again about family outlaws, were treated well.

              Then, Pa's luck ran out. Late one night Jim and Joe arrived at the ranch. Joe woke Michael and Danny and told them to come down to the kitchen. Ma and Nora were already there. Ma held her hands out to the boys, who went to her side.

Jim started. "Mike, Danny, we've bad news."

That's when Michael realized his father wasn't there.

Jim continued. "Pa's heart gave out on him a couple of weeks ago. He was hurting real bad for about two weeks and then early one morning he just sort of slipped away. It was very peaceful."

The boys were only twelve and ten. They really hadn't gotten close to their Pa since the war, but both felt like a hole had opened up in their stomachs. Neither knew what to say.

Ma squeezed their hands. "Let's all close our eyes and each in our own way talk to Papa and say our good-byes.” Everyone did as she bade.

As eyes opened and heads began to rise, Danny broke the silence. "Can you stay home now?"

"We'll talk more about it later.” Jim answered looking over Danny's head at Nora.

The entire family gathered in the parlor late the next afternoon. Jim, now twenty-two, looked older than his years and was stepping quite naturally into the role of family patriarch. He stood by the fireplace, with Nora sitting to his right holding baby Sarah. Three-year old Pat sat quietly on his grandmother’s lap next to Nora on the divan. Joe sat in the rocking chair directly across from Jim. Michael and Danny had pulled up two side chairs from the dining room table to sit next to Joe.

Jim ran his fingers through his hair. The afternoon sun, shining through the parlor window, highlighted the tautness of his facial muscles and the firmness of his jaw line. He cleared his throat. All eyes in the room were fastened on him.

"We need to talk about the future of this family. We need to make new plans, set new responsibilities. At least until we've finished with Pa's plan."

"What was Pa's plan?” Danny asked.

"Joe and I can't be specific because of the danger it would put all of you in."

Ma interjected, "Pa's plans were revenge for what happened during the war. For God’s sake, isn't it done yet?” Her voice matched the pleading in her eyes.

"No," Jim said quietly. “And, Ma, in fairness to Pa, you know he wasn’t out for revenge, he was only out to avenge the wrongs done to this family as he saw it.”

"We could argue the slight nuances between acts of revenge versus avenge, but I’ve long since given up that argument. Let me just say that I think it is or should be over.” Ma’s tone of voice was direct and firm.

"Remember, we can't just stop,” argued Jim. “We're wanted men. We'd have to resettle and maybe change our names. The reality is we don't have the resources as yet. Because, for all we're credited with doing, we are only doing what Pa said originally. We're only getting our things back from the actual people who did harm to our family, as best as we can tell, through the names we've managed to gather. Believe me, we're not rich or even close to what we had before the war."

"Let it be over, son.” Ma looked up at Jim, then across to Joe. Joe met her eyes, but quickly diverted his gaze from the unspoken pleas reflecting back to him.

Jim came and stood next to his mother. He put his hand on her shoulder. Little Pat wiggled free from her embrace and held his arms out to his father. Jim reached down and pulled his son to him. The child started to talk, but Jim silenced him with a finger to his lips. Pat quieted down and nestled close to his father’s chest. Jim returned his hand to his mother’s shoulder, but looked at his wife at the other end of the divan. He spoke quietly, at first.

"There is nothing I would like better than to wake up every morning next to my wife and go to bed with her every night. I’d like to fill the hours in between teaching this little fellow everything little boys need to know and to dote on little Sarah every single day.”

Nora managed a smile of encouragement.

His voice picked up volume and resolution. "But..., Pa set a course for us. Unfortunately, at this point we're too far down the road to stop and try to live normal lives. It isn’t possible. Not here and not now.” He paused to make eye contact with each member of his beloved family. No one spoke. He continued. “To pick up and try to find a place to start over requires more means than we have. But over and above those reasons there's the most important reason of all. The course Pa set was RIGHT!” Jim's voice had grown even louder and more emphatic with the last words.

"No.” Ma rose from the divan and faced Jim. "No, no, no!"

Joe stood up, moved to Ma's side and put his arm about her shoulder. "Yes, Ma. Pa was right. Those bastards who robbed and raped their way through the South must pay for their actions.” There was no sign of Joe's familiar good nature. His face and voice were harsh. Firm. "We Rebs who survived the war must be men enough to avenge the things that were done by those animals disguised as soldiers. I was only sixteen when the fighting stopped, but as young as I was, I knew the difference between a soldier and a common criminal. We aren't talking about soldiers doing their duty; we’re talking about raping and plundering. We, the survivors, owe it to ourselves and to our fallen brothers. That includes Pa. It was what he came home to that drove him to an early grave as much as the actual war.” It was a long, serious speech for the normally carefree Joe.

Ma put her hands to her face; her shoulders sagged. No one spoke or moved. Then, Ma's body began to straighten. Her shoulders rose and her hands moved from her face. She turned to Joe and looked up into his blue eyes. His face was a stone of resolve. She looked across at Jim who wore the same expression. Time seemed to stand still. Then she looked down at Nora.

She sighed. "I tried. I did so want it to be different for you. But, it would appear my sons are hell bent on going forward with Pa's plan."

"Thank you, Ma. I, too, wish it could be different." Nora sincerely, in almost a whisper, thanked her dear mother-in-law.

"Well, what do we do now?” Ma looked at Jim.

Everyone relaxed. Everyone was allowed to make suggestions and was included in the making of decisions. It turned out everyone would continue much as before with the exception that Jim and Joe would operate as a duo rather than a trio.

And that's the way things continued for the next six years. The two oldest brothers would be gone for three to four months at a time. At first, they risked staying home for a month or so between trips. But as time went on, their time at home became shorter and shorter. Now it was down to a week at the most.

When they were home, it was hard for the rest of the family to act normal. No one wanted to leave the house to shop, to go to school or to go to church. It was especially hard for Patrick and Sarah. But to Nora and Ma's credit the children managed to love and look forward to seeing their father and uncle and to disbelieve the talk about the Farrell outlaws.

Michael and Danny’s close bond continued to grow. Each passing year, they depended more and more on each other’s companionship and trust. They did as much as they could to take Jim's place in teaching little Pat boy things and included him in their activities as much as possible. However, what neither Jim nor Joe realized was that as their younger brothers grew, they made plans for when their turn came to help with the family business.

*****

Michael turned on his side and through a crack in the window shutters watched the eager fingers of dawn bring this dusty little Mexican village into another day. He shook himself from his reverie and yawned. The hint of a smile tugged at the corner of lips. Soon, he promised himself, very soon, he’d experience the offerings of that bright and noisy street that Jim had avoided. His eyes became heavy. He closed them and relaxed. Finally, he drifted off to sleep.

(This is the end of

Chapter One of the novel

After the War, Before the Peace.

This novel is available at Amazon.com and from the author’s website www.sharonpoppen.com)