Shark Out of Water (Grab Your Pole, #3) (54 page)

In the last four weeks I’ve wanted to die, I almost did die and I thought I was dying, but the excruciating knowledge I gained last night, that you can’t love me because you don’t trust me anymore, was a killing stroke. I can live without you and I can live with myself now too, but I can’t live knowing you don’t trust me. I don’t want to die knowing it was within my power to regain your trust with honesty and respect while at the same time I continue to let my cowardice prevent me from using that power.

I might’ve taken too long in telling you all this and it might be too late, but there’s so much I want you to know about how I feel, too much for words really and I could just tell you that I love you, but, it’s so much more than love. I know I can be an egotistical son of a bitch a lot of the time and I rarely express what I’m really feeling so it might not seem like it, but the truth is, I’m not whole without you, Camie. Like your birthday present, separately, all the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle don’t seem all that important but when you put them together, they make a complete picture. Except the puzzle that is me will never be truly complete. Part of me is missing, Camie. And it’s been missing a long time. I know where it is though and I don’t want it back. I gave my heart to you on Valentine’s Day sixteen years ago and not only does it belong to you forever, it only beats because of you. And honestly, if you find that you can trust me enough to love me again one day, I’ll start breathing again, but in addition to my heart, I’ll give you every last breath I have as well.

I’d just barely finished reading my letter, still feeling like there’s more I want to tell her, when my phone startled me with a text followed by a picture of Camie looking completely pissed and simply beautiful.

Jeff:
U shud com dwn here. I no u wntd 2 give her 2nite & let her chus when but 2nite mite b a good nite 4 u 2 tlk 2 her. She’s hvng a lousy time. O & she’s wearing the bracelet. ;-)

Huh. I’m not quite sure how to take that, or, how to respond, seeing as how I’ve been sitting in the parking lot of the hotel for probably thirty minutes already. However, if I’m not mistaken, I think I finally just got some justification for being here…

Friends in low places ~ Jeff

She really wasn’t doing a very good job of hiding what a shitty time she was having, and I’ll admit I’d been going back and forth on whether or not to send Trist a text telling him, but when Camie came back from the bathroom with Katy and Melissa, wearing the bracelet Tristan gave her for her birthday, the one she’d cried about throwing away without even knowing what it was, the one she hadn’t had on before now, the scales of my indecision dipped dramatically to one side. Then when I heard what she was saying, I stopped questioning what to do entirely.

“Camie, this is seriously
gorgeous
! I mean, I can’t get over all the detail, but, I don’t get it, you didn’t have it on before…” Melissa said, looking at the little gold charms and their engravings, probably trying to figure out why random things like a slice of pizza, or a guy wearing a robe, sandals, and headphones, or the words:
four minutes, fifty-three seconds
would hold any significance. And actually, I’d kinda like to know if she comes up with anything. I don’t know what more than half the shit he put on it means…

“I know. Actually, this is the first time I’ve ever worn it.”

“You’re kidding! I’d have totally soldered it to my wrist the second I got it! Why haven’t you worn it yet?” Melissa asked and let Katy take over scrutinizing the bracelet.

“Because I—I…you know what, I don’t wanna sound bitchy but I’d really rather not say right now, okay?”

“Oh, okay, sure…”

“Hey Camie, why are you wearing it
now
, though?” Katy asked, looking up from the bracelet first to look at Camie and then to quickly wink at me. And in that one small movement, Katy told me her opinion. Katy believes that Camie
wants
Tristan to kidnap/rescue her from the dance from Hell. She’s just not gonna admit it.

“Well, kind of like I said in the bathroom, Kate, he was right about this whole stupid dance, you know? I just figured since it’s the only thing available to me right now that makes me smile, I thought wearing it might cheer me up,” I turned my back to them, typed out a text telling him it might be in his best interest to talk to her tonight instead of waiting for a time of her choosing, then I turned back around and subtly took a quick picture to send along with the text so he could see the bracelet on her just as she said, “I mean honestly, can this dance get any more lame? The punch is horrible, my date won’t dance with me, and even if he would, the music isn’t all that good, and now…what the hell?! Now I don’t even know where he is! Seriously, did I just get dumped?!”

I looked around and didn’t see Camie’s evil date nor did I see Pete so I figured everything was cool, but then as I watched Melissa walk over to the punch table with Sasha, I realized Brandon was missing too. Shit. I hope everything’s okay…

I was about to send another text or two, but then I saw Evil walk back into the ballroom and head over to the punch table. I looked back at the ballroom doors expecting to see either Brandon or Pete, but the only person of interest to come back in was Jillian. She didn’t head to the dance floor or the refreshments table though; she headed our way while looking at the refreshments table as she walked. It was weird, but hey, it’s Jillian.

When she reached us I asked, “Hey, where’s Pete?”

She looked at me in an odd way, almost like she was nervous or something, but then she got snippy and sounded almost like her sister, making me wonder if she was having a rotten time as well. Man, I’m glad I’m with Katy tonight; she’s been in a great mood!

“I’m his quote unquote
date
, not his keeper…if you want to know where he is, try looking for him yourself.”

As Evil came up and joined us, holding a cup of punch and smelling a little like cigarettes which made my mouth start producing more saliva than what Katy would be happy with me about, the whole of our attention was drawn to the corner closest to us just past the refreshment table when Keith started to lay into Melissa. I’m not sure how it started, but I’m guessing he dragged her away from the punch bowls because Sasha was still standing by the tables, but she was looking around like she was either lost or looking for someone. Her eyes hit me and her lost expression went to one of “Help, I don’t know what to do.” Then Zack walked into the ballroom and saw Sasha getting freaked, so he started towards her but he got sidetracked when he realized what was going on to his left.

“Shit. I thought he was gonna go after Brandon not her…” I murmmered and started to move in that direction when at the same time, Evil handed Camie his cup of punch.

She took it absentmindedly while shaking her head and starting to walk forward with me and Katy, but then Jillian turned around and seeing the cup of punch in her sister’s hand, she reached to take it saying, “Oh good, I’m
so
thirs—” Before she could even finish her sentence though, she tripped and ended up spilling the whole thing down the front of Camie’s white velvet dress.

Needless to say, Camie was not pleased. She didn’t scream but it did look like there was smoke coming from her ears when, looking around the ballroom in a similar way Sasha had been a minute ago, she ground out, “Where the
hell
is he?”

Scott, er, I mean Evil, looked just as pissed as Camie, but unlike her, he did yell. “Fuckin’ kid! Why don’t you watch what the fuck you’re doin’!”

Katy and I looked at each other and then at Jillian. A) He yelled at her. B) He called her a kid. C) He yelled at her and called her a kid for Christ’s sake!

Jillian ground her teeth but surprisingly, she kept her tongue in check. Maybe it was because Camie rounded on him first and growled, “I am the
only
person on this planet who can talk to my sister like that. And it’s not her fault, it’s
his
and the cosmos’s! It’s not pig’s blood but I swear to God I just became Carrie at the goddamned prom!
Ugh!
And it’s grape! I freaking
hate
grape!”

She threw the cup down and not even bothering to try salvaging her dress like any normal girl would’ve done by running to the bathroom, she just grabbed me by the jacket and pulled me over to where Melissa and Keith were getting into it.

Katy and Jillian caught up to us and I think Evil was trailing behind, but as Katy came along side Camie she quietly asked, “Um, who exactly is the he you’re blaming that on?”

Camie shot Katy and irritated glare and answered, “Tristan.”

“What?! Why are you blaming
him
? He’s not even here!”

“Oh yes he is…the
only
time things like this
ever
happen to me is because
he’s
around.”

I think my eyes probably got really wide for a second, but I clamped my mouth shut. I mean, he’s not here right
now
, but, I’m sure he will be sometime after he gets my text. Huh. Actually, he should’ve responded by now. I went to pull my phone from my pocket to see if I’d just missed his reply but before I could, I discovered Brandon had shown up and all of sudden, I found myself and Zack needing to hold him back. And we were seriously struggling to do it.

Jesus, for a not quite so big guy, Brandon’s goddamned
strong
. Keith’s fucked. He just doesn’t know it yet...

Keith saw Brandon being held back so he started taunting him, which of course only made Zack’s and my job harder. Melissa had turned to Brandon and tried to get him to cool off by saying things like, “Don’t listen to him,” “He’s not a bad guy, he’s just drunk,” and, “I don’t want you fighting, let me take care of this.” It didn’t really help. Especially because Keith persisted in egging Brandon on.

Their raised voices were starting to draw attention, so looking around for a little help; I grabbed Justin’s, Conner’s, and Ryan’s eyes with mine and jutted my chin at Keith and then the closest door leading outside. Justin grabbed and opened the door, Ryan grabbed Keith and pushed him outside, and then Zack, Conner, and I ushered Brandon through it. The girls and a handful of other people followed, but once outside, Keith started in on Melissa again and that’s when it got nasty. He was railing at her about being with Brandon and I’ll be honest, I was getting close to letting Brandon go just so he could shut Keith up, because really, I get that you’re pissed about being dumped, but come on, you weren’t all that great to her and it was like three months ago…get over it for fuck’s sake.

I thought Keith had sealed his fate though when he shot a question at her with a particularly superior and venomous tone, but, I was wrong…

“Really, how do your
parents
feel about you slumming? Think what’ll happen if he knocks you up for Christ’s sake…your family’s blood will be tainted with garbage! I mean look at him! The tux can’t even hide the fact that he’s nothin’ but trash! Seriously Melissa, why are you even
with
that sewer rat?”

It almost looked like Melissa had been slapped in the face, but even though she hadn’t actually been hit, her cheeks went scarlet and looking once at Brandon who was straining against three guys and fuming like a steam engine, she turned back to Keith, got right in his face and hissed, “After all the shit you’ve been talking about me this last week, you of all people should know that what a person looks like has nothing to do with what’s inside. And I’m with him because I believe in him. He has more talent in his little toe than anyone I’ve ever met, and I know I’ll always be safe with him because he treats me with respect, you jackhole. And besides, who he is on the outside is just as hot as who he is on the inside and I happen to be
in
love with all of him
.”

Brandon stilled.

I mean he literally froze. Zack looked at Conner and me over Brandon’s head in a “What the fuck?” kind of way and I didn’t know how to respond. The fighting continued and feeling movement in the statue that Brandon had become, Conner, Zack and I went back to applying the same amount of strength in holding him back when he kind of tried to shake his shoulders.

Conner and Zack each had one side of him, and I was holding his shoulders and neck from behind, so he had to tilt and turn his head to look back at me when he said, “I’m good. You can let go.”

Conner, Zack and I shared another look and then hesitantly let go of him. He just stood there and closed his eyes and then keeping them closed, he started breathing deeply and rolling his shoulders almost slowly. He did the same with his neck, like he was trying to relax maybe or fuckin’ meditate or something, all the while listening to Keith degrade Melissa. It was the strangest thing I’d seen since Tristan saw Camie the first time at the beach. Brandon looked at Melissa, who was handling Keith fairly well actually, then he’d look at Keith, and then he repeated the process of closing his eyes, breathing, shoulders and neck rolling, and looking at them. I have no clue what was going through his head, but there must’ve been some kind of decision making process being conducted. Either that or he simply got hot because he, very calmly I might add, started taking his jacket off. He handed it to Jillian, politely thanked her when she took it, but then he started removing his cufflinks and unbuttoning his shirt. Once those were off and being safely held by Jillian as well and now looking more like himself in a white tank undershirt, all his many tattoos clearly visible, Brandon went back to watching and listening.

Keith had circled back to the respect part of what Melissa had said as her reason for being with Brandon, but now he was letting the alcohol do most of the talking and it wasn’t pretty.

“I can’t believe you think someone like
that
can ever respect you,” Keith said with derision and pointed at Brandon standing there in full, tattooed glory, “And that you
actually
fucked
him
?! You’re
really
pathetic, Melissa…I mean you went from being this really sweet girl who wouldn’t even give the star quarterback, your
boyfriend’s
dick the time of day to being a cheating
bitch
, but on top of that, you spread your legs for that piece of sewage and fucked him. You know what that makes you, right? It makes you just another
filthy
whore now. I mean for Christ’s sake, your
name’s
tattooed on shit.”