Sharing Our Stories of Survival: Native Women Surviving Violence (13 page)

Myth: Battering Is Caused by Lack of Control

So my cousin beat up his wife, and now everyone is saying that he really lost control this time.

He just flew off the handle . . .

Many people make the mistake of thinking that battering is caused by a loss of control, when actually battering is centered around having extreme control.

• In fact, most batterers have no problem controlling their anger and behavior in situations where it is inappropriate to use violence. For example, a batterer may become angry with a co-worker or boss, yet he does not become violent at work as he does with his partner at home. Batterers choose to use violence or control tactics to get what they want.
  
• Batterers use violence because they believe they have the right to use it. This belief may be tied to male privilege.
  

Myth: Stress, Relationship Problems, or Alcohol Abuse Causes Domestic Violence

I was so stressed over my job . . .

I think he did it because he had too much to drink.

All of us live with stress in our lives. We experience stress due to job demands, deadlines, the death of a close relative or friend, money problems, discrimination, traffic, and from many other experiences. Yet most of us do not go home and beat up our partner. Stress is not an excuse for using violence. A batterer will often use stress as an excuse for irresponsible behavior. Community members, friends, or relatives who believe stress caused the battering are also excusing his actions.

Drinking is a problem in many Native communities. However, not everyone who drinks automatically becomes a batterer. In actuality, sober people can be violent, too. While drinking can lower inhibitions and
escalate
violence, it does not cause the violence. Alcohol use is a separate issue from the use of violence to assert power over a partner. Domestic violence is rooted in a sense of entitlement—a belief that the batterer has the right to use this form of violence in this relationship. Many people believe that treating alcoholism is the solution to domestic violence. However, domestic violence must have a separate and different response.

Myth: She (the Battered Woman) Provoked the Violence

He wouldn’t hit you if you would just shut up.

You should have known better than to have done that.

Lines similar to those above place the blame on the battered woman. No woman deserves to be battered no matter what she has or has not done. Remember that battering behavior is rooted in a belief that the batterer has the right to use violence as a means to control his partner. There are not necessarily any rules or logic behind the actions of batterers. A woman might be battered for a “reason” as simple as asking for money, going to the grocery store, or talking to a friend.

Myth: Law Enforcement and Civil/Criminal Interventions Will Keep Women Safe

Just call the police—they will help you.

Why don’t you get an order for protection?

In some cases, law enforcement and/or legal intervention may be effective remedies to stop the violence. However, these interventions have limitations.

• Law enforcement interventions are not the same everywhere. In some remote locations, such as reservations and villages, it may take hours, or even days, for law enforcement to respond. Even when they do respond, they may not be able to make an arrest. Also, some law enforcement officials may not be trained to respond to domestic violence and may have their own biases about battering. What’s more, a woman who calls the police may face
  retaliation
  from the batterer. In cases where there is an arrest, the batterer could be released on bond quickly—thus able to locate the victim and punish her.
  
• Using law enforcement systems that have been historically oppressive toward Native women (see chapter I) can have unforeseen consequences. Recently, there has been a rise in the number of women being arrested for domestic violence while acting in self-defense. Women who have been arrested are much less likely to call police in future situations. In addition, entering the criminal justice system sometimes alerts child protection systems to the violence. While it is the batterer who creates an unsafe situation for children, many women have been held responsible for failing to protect the children. Many women are fearful of losing custody of their children and therefore avoid contacting authorities or seeking protection orders.
  
• Jurisdictional issues surrounding protection orders can be complex. (See chapters 14 and 16.) Enforcement of protection orders is not always a priority. In addition, sometimes one tribal government will not honor an order written in the court of another.
  

Myth: What about the Male Victims? Women Batter Too

Women are batterers just as much as men; men are just ashamed to admit it.

Why aren’t we working just as hard to end women’s abuse of men?

Domestic violence is primarily a crime against women. Men experiencing domestic violence make up a very small percentage of the population of victims.
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(We must also consider that included in that small number are men experiencing violence in same-sex relationships.) In addition, women are more likely to suffer serious injuries resulting from violence committed by a male partner in contrast to men’s injuries resulting from violence committed by a female partner.
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Women experience violence at much higher rates and with more serious consequences.

Causes of Domestic Violence

As Native people, our traditional lifeways have been significantly eroded. According to Paula Gunn Allen, the high rate of violence against women cases is “powerful evidence that the status of women within our tribes has suffered a grievous decline since contact. That decline has intensified in recent years.”
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Wife, partner, or spouse abuse was not accepted practice in tribal belief systems. Domestic violence has become widespread in our communities due to colonization and a history of oppression that led to the erosion of our Native ways of life.

Native nations have survived many kinds of violence over the past centuries. Violence can be seen in the forced removal of Native children during the boarding school era; the multiple massacres of Native people; and the widespread rape of Native women that took place during events such as the “Trail of Tears” and “The Long Walk.” The methods used by colonizers to control and address the “Indian problem” have become internalized by many Native people today. As Native lifeways have been eroded, so have the values that did not permit such control and power of a Native man over his partner.

All forms of oppression are linked to domestic violence. Examining the “isms” (such as classism, racism, and sexism) illuminates the source of power and control in many communities. As advocates, we have to work to create institutional change in those systems, work to undo and challenge the racism, sexism, and classism that exist, as well as other isms.
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When we examine classism, for example, we see how economic barriers limit some women’s options. Women of lower socioeconomic status do not have adequate financial resources and are often placed in the position of having to choose between living in an unsafe situation or living on the streets. Generally, women who seek domestic violence services are victims with the least amount of economic resources.
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The stigma associated with seeking public assistance resources presents an additional barrier.

Racism is another significant layer of oppression faced by Native women. The impact of institutional racism is apparent in non-Native shelters when Native women are questioned and monitored to ensure they are not stealing. In addition, Native women have reported negative experiences with law enforcement, such as being threatened with arrest for filing false reports. Consequently, Native women often have a distrust of the very system that is intended to help them. As we work to address systemic oppression rooted in sexism, we must also recognize that racism can rear its ugly head at any place and time. Native American battered women must confront racism in places like battered women’s shelters, advocacy organizations, hospitals, police departments, landlords, social services, child protection agencies, and the courts.

Figure 3.2. Roots of Violence. Source: Courtesy of Sacred Circle, Natural Resource Center to End Violence Against Native Women.

When examining tactics of power and control, it is important to look beyond individual acts of violence to the institutional and societal supports for domestic violence. We must ask how community institutions such as shelters, law enforcement, clergy, courts, and others reinforce the batterer’s power and control tactics. How do these institutions either block or help women’s efforts to deal with violence? The following are a few examples of institutional supports for domestic violence.
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• A county judge who refuses to enforce his own court orders requiring the batterer to seek counseling and avoid contact with the victim.
  
• An advocate who tells a battered woman that she has to get help from a mental health professional to “fix” herself.
  
• A social worker who repeatedly intrudes on a victim’s life based on the batterer’s false claims of welfare and child abuse.
  

It is essential to examine values and beliefs that support and reinforce batterers’ abilities to use tactics of power and control. Are women honored or celebrated by the culture? In some of our Native communities that were originally women-centered, the contemporary governing structures exclude or marginalize the voices and roles of women. In addition, we must look at American society to identify how all women, and Native women in particular, are devalued.

Tribal Responses to Domestic Violence

Safety and accountability must be central to our work to address domestic violence as tribal nations. Safety for battered women is more than just stopping the physical violence; it also encompasses a woman’s ability to be and act sovereign. A tribal government should foster an environment in which a battered woman is able to define and decide her own needs, free from judgment. She should be supported in understanding that the violence is not her responsibility, regardless of her actions. She needs to be treated with the respect and honor inherent in our indigenous beliefs. She should receive support and comfort from her community. In addition, the tribe must ensure that offenders are held accountable for the violence they perpetrate. Tribal civil and criminal justice systems must provide effective intervention without exceptions for relationship or community status. Above all, there must be a strong message that the community will not tolerate the use of violence.

Our work to end violence against Native women must go beyond providing direct services, such as shelter, emotional support, and legal assistance. Although direct services are critical, we must be ready to offer customized services that meet the needs of individual women. Advocacy must work to provide safety as the battered woman defines it. Mainstream ideals and models are often adopted in developing solutions to violence in Native communities. However, these Western models often compartmentalize women into fragments—forgetting that they are whole women with identities that transcend violence. They are our mothers, our sisters, our cousins, and our neighbors. They are our relatives. A woman who is being battered has a full story of her life and, in our relationship with her, we must look beyond the violence to see a whole woman.

When did people become more concerned with fact than with truth? The truth is the story behind the facts . . . stories are living, breathing things and that creative power that is at work between the teller and the listener is very real.

—GAYLE ROSS
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(CHEROKEE)

Women are the backbone of indigenous societies. Native women are strong and beautiful women who have incredible strength to endure and be creative survivors. We must recognize and honor the strength of Native women and help restore their status in indigenous society. In doing so, we must work with them to respond to impacts of colonization and internalized oppression.