Shared Too (25 page)

I pressed my lips together. No stern warning of “that’s not likely to happen” or

“don’t get your hopes up, Ariane”.

“Quinn,” I said, frowning. “What’s the matter?” His jaw tightened and he sighed, deeply rubbing his hand over his forehead.

“Quinn?” I reached for his sharp chin and turned his face to look at me. “What’s happened?”

His coal-black eyes caught mine. Pain flashed in their depths. “She’s gone,” he said quietly.

My heart tripped over itself, flying and falling at the same time. I didn’t need to ask to know he was talking about Eve. “Gone?” I managed.

“Yes, between surgeries I went to my office to make a call to a family.” He shrugged. “And she was there waiting for me. She told me she was going.”

“Going where?” I dropped my hand.

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“To Belfast.”

“What, at the end of the month or something?”

Quinn shook his head and his brows pulled together. “No, she’s gone now. The hospital gave her two weeks’ notice but she’s taking annual leave and going early.

Apparently she knows people in the area from her military days and is keen to catch up with them.”

“But it’s so sudden.”

“That’s what I said and she just shrugged and said it’s the way it always was for her. Once she’s sorted out the financial inefficiency in a department she gets moved on.” He dropped his head back on the couch and stared up at the ceiling. He looked so miserable, so defeated. “She hates goodbyes so she asked me to say it to everyone on her behalf.”

Eve had said goodbye. Eve was gone. I wasn’t surprised that we wouldn’t be seeing her again but I was shocked at the brutal speed with which she’d severed herself from our lives. I’d resisted her coming into our world but once she had I’d enjoyed, hell, really enjoyed having her around. I’d miss her sexy swishing blonde hair, the way she carried herself with such poise and confidence and her sharp, plotting but ultimately caring mind. She’d been my first experience with a woman, my first time sharing Quinn and the first time my place at Quinn’s side had felt threatened. It was a confusing soup of emotions tearing through me—loss, relief, disappointment—and it was made all the more complex by Quinn’s desolate reaction.

“Hey,” I said, shuffling up onto my knees so I could look levelly into his face. “You knew she wasn’t going to hang around indefinitely, she was always open about that.”

“But I just thought, after last night, it was so good, I presumed she’d visit again a few times so we could get together some more.” His mouth twisted in worry. “Do you think we got a bit kinky for her? It was wild, all four of us, and you know, me with the…up my ass. We enjoy kink and ménage but perhaps we scared her off.” 195

Lily Harlem

“She was the one with the strap-on in her handbag, and she enjoyed having it in her as much as you did,” I said softly but firmly, dropping a kiss on his cheek. “Quinn, we both found her company hot in bed last night, so I know how you feel about her sudden departure. I too hoped we’d have more fun with Eve.” I paused. “Although I suspected by her attitude this morning she wouldn’t be back in a rush.”

“You did? So she didn’t have fun.” He paused. “Or maybe she was pissed that Liam rejected her.”

“She had more than fun, she had a wild time, she said so herself and she knew deep down she was never going to get Liam, she just wanted to make sure her instincts were right. Like she said, it was worth a shot. No, I think…” I hesitated as my thoughts gathered themselves.

“What do you think?”

“I think you were a man she wanted to dominate and control. You’re one of the most senior doctors in the surgical department and, even you admit, scarily self-controlled and focused…” I paused as thoughts flooded my mind. “Plus you told her you were living in an unusual relationship, a threesome, it made you all the more appealing, all the more of an enigma, a challenge.”

“You think so?”

“Yes, she’s nomadic and opportunistic, she looks out for herself, takes pleasure when she can, like a soldier who sleeps, eats and drinks when he gets the chance.”

“Well, I guess she was in the army for years.”

I nodded. “And she was intrigued by me and how I was doted on by two men. She picked up on the fact I’d never been with a woman, but I suspect the idea of us, me, you and Liam as a threesome, how we were together and what we did in bed was what fascinated her more than anything. She wanted a piece of that.”

“Yeah, she was interested in us having sex together, always bringing it up, asking probing questions. I was discreet, evasive but you and Liam told her how it was at dinner.”

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“Mm, I knew that fascinated her.” I hesitated. “I wonder if we were a box to tick on her sexual experiences list.”

Quinn’s forehead crinkled. “It was her who suggested it would be only fair for me and Liam to be shared too. It had never entered my mind before. Hell, why would it?

I’ve barely got time for you, let alone another woman.” He reached for my hand. “And you know I don’t mean that in a bad way, just in a practical way.”

“Of course I know what you mean,” I said. “And I also know she put that thought in your head—it was obvious.”

He stared into the fire again and tugged his bottom lip with his teeth. He looked so forlorn, miserable, almost… I snatched in a breath as a wave of fear rippled up my spine. He looked almost—heartbroken. “Quinn,” I said quietly. “If it was just sex, why do you look so sad?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Is it because you let her into your heart?”

He turned to me, his eyes flashing and his jaw tight.

“Has Eve broken your heart?” I asked. The words were hard to say but I needed to know. I needed to know what I was dealing with here. Would he have gone and scratched her initial onto the tree in the paddock?

“No, of course she hasn’t,” he said with a firm shake of his head.

“Are you sure?” I swallowed tightly and my hands knotted in my lap, my knuckles and bones wrapping together almost painfully. “Because you look as though you’ve just lost someone you love, Quinn.”

“Ariane, for crying out loud.” He scooped me up so I straddled his lap and he clutched at my shoulders with big, tight hands. “How can you even think that?”

“You look so depressed, so vacant.” I sat down, my butt landing on his hard thighs and my hands curling around his wrists. “I think she has, I think she’s broken your heart by leaving.” A sob was rising in the center of my chest and heading to my throat.

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Lily Harlem

“That’s crazy, it was just a shock, that’s all, and I didn’t allow myself to think about it when I was in surgery so it’s only just surfaced in my mind now I’m home. I couldn’t afford the distraction while I was operating. I was removing an occipital grade three on a twenty-one-year-old.”

I rested my hand over his pale blue shirt and felt his small nipple pressing forward over the strong beat of his heart. I guess I should be grateful that he could and did relax when he was with me, that his thoughts and emotions were free to work themselves out. If he didn’t he would be a tangled mess and wouldn’t be able to save the lives of twenty-one-year-olds.

“My heart only beats for you,” he said in a soft voice. “I love you, you’re the only woman in my heart and that’s how it will always stay.”

“Oh Quinn,” I said, giving in to a single hiccupping sob. “I’ve been so scared these last few days, so scared of losing you to Eve and of losing Liam to the cancer―”

“None of that was ever going to happen. I wouldn’t let it. I wouldn’t let anything hurt you, you know that.” He slid his hands from my shoulders down to my elbows.

“And neither would Liam.”

“But what if you had fallen in love with her, what if Liam’s cancer had come back and you couldn’t cure it this time? I don’t know how I would have coped. It would be too much, it would be awful, so awful.”

“You are a strong, intelligent, talented woman and I couldn’t do half the things you do in a day, Ariane. You would have fallen to pieces for a little while, yes, then you would have rallied and helped Liam through it, helped our daughters through it.” He kissed my forehead and his voice softened. “Helped
me
through it.” I stared at his collar, undone by one button, and the loose knot on his navy tie.

“And how do you think I would have coped if
you’d
left me, Quinn?” He swallowed and his Adam’s apple, sprinkled with stubble, bobbed down low and back up again. “You would have had Liam here.” 198

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I gave a bitter laugh. “No, Quinn, no, for crying out loud, that is not how it is for me. A mother loves two children, a child loves two parents and I love two husbands.

Losing one but still having the other does not make it okay, it’s no consolation.” I shook my head. “I can’t believe you and Liam really think like that. Do you have a favorite between Rebecca and Sophie? If something happened to Sophie would you honestly not be devastated because you still had Rebecca or vice versa?” He looked appalled at the suggestion. “No, of course I don’t have a favorite and I would be shattered if anything happened to either of them.” His face fell at the thought then he smiled, almost indulgently. “This is my point, Ariane, you’re amazing, and you understand it all so brilliantly. No one else could do this whole three-way marriage the way you do.” He pressed soft, tender lips to mine. “Which, of course, is why this conversation is hypothetical. I’m never going to leave you, ever. Eve captured my attention physically and intellectually but I love you, Mrs. Gilbert–Rosser, right down to the depths of your soul from the depths of mine.” He narrowed his eyes. “The only way we will be apart is if you leave me.”

“That’s not going to happen, Quinn, I love you, I love you so much.” I slotted my hands around the nape of his neck. Linked my fingers and tugged him close.

He sat forward and delved his tongue into my mouth, deeper, harder, as if proving his point. He tasted of Quinn and fresh cool water and I was suddenly hungry for more.

I wanted our souls to connect, be as one. I kissed him back with impatience and an urgent desperation for us to join.

“Hey, slow down,” he said, reaching for my wrists. “Let’s do this slow, real slow. I want to savor every part of you, every move, every sound, every taste.” He shifted me carefully from his lap and stood. “Drake, Billy,” he said in a stern voice.

Both dogs leapt to their feet, tails wagging hopefully. “Out,” he ordered. He walked them out the door and shut it firmly behind them. He paused with his fingers on the handle, toed off his shoes, released his tie and strode over to the fireplace. He threw a thick log onto the fading embers and set the guard in front of the hearth.

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“Get completely naked,” he said, with a sexy, sinful grin and yanking, rather than undoing, the next button on his shirt.

I peeled off my sweater, popped open my bra and let the weight of my breasts spill out. The roar of flames suddenly filled the room and a new, sharply scented, woody heat spread across my flesh, peaking my nipples and making them tingle in anticipation. I undid my pants and rolled them along with my knickers over my hips and knees, tugged off my socks and added them to the pile.

When I looked up, Quinn had taken off his clothes. His long cock stuck up majestically as he sat back down into the dent he’d left on the couch. He rested back in a casual, got-all-the-time-in-the-world pose with one arm spread over the back of the cushions and his feet spread hip-width apart on the floor.

He wrapped his other fist around his shaft and smoothed his thumb over the head, over and around, sliding through the slit and spreading a satiny globule of fluid beneath the ridge. A smile played on his lips, a patient, familiar smile that held the promise of something good, really good.

My body burst to life. Despite the late hour I felt vibrant and alive, awake and alert but at the same time I possessed a lovely laziness that stemmed from contentment and the absolute knowledge that satisfaction would be mine.

I moved over him and straddled his thighs, my lust-filled pussy swelling and weeping. He tipped his face to mine as he held his cock upright, aimed at my entrance.

“Make me yours,” he murmured, his eyes boring into mine. “Only yours, Ariane, I’m only yours.”

“And I’m yours,” I said in a husky voice. I sank down, just a little, so my entrance was just kissing the head of his cock in a wet lick of bare, slick lips. “Does that feel like coming home, Quinn?” I whispered a hairsbreadth from his mouth.

“Oh Jeez, yes, only you make me crazy with longing, mad with desire, always testing my control to the limit.” His eyes widened, unblinking. His breaths were slow and steady. As he breathed out I breathed in, taking in his air, his breath, his taste.

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“Only you really understand me, only you give me what I really need, Ariane. Only you put up with me.”

“You give me what I need too,” I said smoothly, then gasped as his hips pushed up and his cock stretched and filled my pussy. “Oh god, Quinn.” I sank down, taking him in farther, farther and farther until my clit rubbed against his wiry pubic hair and pressed onto his pubis. “Quinn, you’re so stiff, so nearly ready.”

“I know, so take it slow, really slow and sensual,” he murmured hotly as he lifted my hands into the air with our fingers slotted together. “Enjoy every tiny sensation.” He stretched our arms out wide. The movement pressed me down more and I whimpered and my head fell forward.

“Ariane,” he said onto my forehead. “Keep looking at me, into my eyes.” I raised my head, peeled open my heavy lids and willed myself to stay with the moment. Not give in to my desire to grind hard and wild against him and become the passionate, demanding woman I wanted to be.

I hung suspended on the edge of a blissful consummation, my neck, spine and pelvis drumming with sensation.

“My eyes,” Quinn said again quietly. “Please, I want it like this, give me your eyes, your soul.”

I wanted it like this too. I wanted his soul. I could feel every ridge and bulge of his shaft, sitting quiet and still with him so deep inside me revealed the shape of his glans to the sensitive membranes of my pussy. And my clit on his body, pressing but not moving, was swelling and searching for him. I groaned, a pathetic whimper of a sound, and looked up into the black, heady love swelling his pupils. “Oh Quinn, it’s good, so good and we’re not even moving.”