Shane's Fall (The Escort Series Book 2) (4 page)

“You saved my life Shane. You fucking saved my life!” Gabe dropped his arm and looked around the cemetery. “If I’d lost Riley, I would have ended up here. If you hadn’t opened my eyes…” Gabe took a deep breath and then turned his eyes back to Shane.

“I’m worried about you. I see it in your eyes – it haunts you the way it haunted me.”

Shane knew what Gabe was talking about, but how could he explain to his best friend something he didn’t completely understand himself? He shook his head and heard Gabe sigh in frustration.

“Have you seen your mom since…?” Shane asked carefully.

“No. It’s part of the reason Riley and I moved into a new apartment. I’ve been seeing someone – a therapist – to help me figure out some of the shit going on in my head. I’m still trying to decide out how to deal with her if she shows up or calls looking for bail money.” Gabe started picking at the grass. “Can you promise me something Shane?” When Shane didn’t answer, Gabe said, “Can you promise me you’ll call me if things go bad or when you’re ready to talk?”

“Yeah,” was all Shane said. It was the first time he’d ever lied directly to his friend’s face.

Chapter 4

Savannah sat nervously at the desk in her new classroom and waited. She had been more than an hour early to prep for her first class – it was the first day of school for both the kids and for her. As part of her education, she’d assisted other teachers in their classrooms, but it was entirely different when she was the one in charge. She would have volunteer parent helpers throughout the day to help her keep up with the twelve Kindergartners that had been assigned to her, but ultimately she would be the one making the decisions.

She jumped up and made her way around the room to make sure everything was in its place. As she made one final check of all the arts and crafts stuff she’d organized earlier, her phone rang and she had to dig pretty deep into her purse to find it. She tried not to be overly disappointed when she saw that the caller ID showed her brother. It was ridiculous to have expected
him
to call – it had been nearly a month since their disastrous meeting in the hotel room and she hadn’t seen or spoken to him since.

“Hi Logan,” she said, forcing a brightness into her voice that she wasn’t feeling.

“Hi, I just wanted to wish you luck,” came the deep voice on the other end.

“You did that already this morning,” she laughed.

“I know but I also know how nervous you’ve been about this – I heard you get up a couple of times last night.”

Savannah didn’t mention that her restlessness had nothing to do with the new job. “I’m good, I swear.”

“Okay. Hey, you want to come by the bar tonight and have a celebratory dinner? I make a mean bowl of peanuts.”

Savannah tensed. “Um, no, I’ll probably have a lot of prep work to do for tomorrow’s class.”

Logan was silent for a long time before saying, “They’re five year olds Savannah. How much prep work do you need for a group of five year olds?”

“Maybe this weekend,” she said. God, she hated lying to him.

“Yeah, okay,” he responded. Their conversation had turned awkward quickly and she knew he was confused.

“Um, I gotta go. See you later.”

“Bye. Good luck today.”

“Thanks,” she muttered and disconnected the call. She went back to the desk and sat down, her mood turning sour. She just kept messing things up. She’d been back from school less than three months and she’d alienated Shane and disappointed her brother. And worse, no one understood Shane’s defection. He no longer attended dinners or get-togethers and Logan had reached out to him several times to no avail. It was like he had dropped off the map and it was all because of her.

The guilt was eating away at her and she struggled more every day to avoid the darkness that had consumed her these past few years. She had tried to call Shane a dozen times to tell him how sorry she was and to beg him to rejoin their group, but every time she dialed the phone she chickened out. She had used him for her own selfish reasons – she was no better than any of the other women in his life. That familiar itch began under her skin and she stood up to try and distract herself, but luckily her first student came barreling in the door, a haggard looking parent in tow and she was able to push everything else from her mind.

***

Shane snapped his notebook shut and grabbed his stuff as the class dispersed. Most of the other students in his class took their notes on laptops, but he found that he absorbed more the old school way with pen and paper. He was also able to get out of the room faster since everyone else was still trying to shut down and unplug.

It had been another rough class, but not because the material was difficult for him. No, he’d been struggling to keep his attention from drifting like it had been all week. Between his conflicted feelings for Savannah and Gabe’s stunning revelation about his mother, Shane could barely keep it together. He had known his friend’s mother was messed up – he’d seen it firsthand when they were kids – but he had no idea the extent of Gabe’s demons. It was a wonder the man was still upright. He knew Gabe didn’t want him to feel any guilt about his part in the whole thing with Riley, but he couldn’t help it. He knew in his heart that Riley was the best thing for Gabe, but knowing his actions had brought back so much trauma for his best friend had torn something open inside of him. When he’d gotten back to Paige’s that night, he had almost wished she had left him another “gift,” but she was off at yet another social gathering so he’d ended up numbing the dull ache in his chest with some really expensive scotch.

He felt his phone vibrate as he walked out of the building, the cool breeze hitting him as darkness started to fall. It was a reminder that time was steamrolling ahead, whether he wanted it to or not. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and checked the caller ID – a text from his father. Which business card did he like better? He didn’t bother to look at the images his father attached, the same way he had ignored having to pick out the furniture collection for the corner office waiting for him in some fancy building in the middle of downtown Chicago. He turned the silent switch off and shoved the phone back in his pocket, but the second he did, it started ringing.

He expected it to be his father but didn’t recognize the number. “Hello?”

“Is this Shane?” came a man’s voice.

“Yeah, who’s this?”

“Do you know a young woman named Savannah?”

Shane ground to a halt and felt his heart drop out of his chest. “Yes. Is she okay?”

“She is, but you need to come and get her.” The voice on the other end was cool and calm, but laced with concern.

“Where?” Shane asked as he started running towards his car.

“Barretti’s-”

“Yes, I know the place. What happened? Is she hurt?”

“She’s okay, but she needs you.”

“I’m coming!” he shouted and stuffed the phone in his pocket as he raced to his car.

***

Shane figured he broke about ten traffic laws in an effort to get to the small, but well-known Italian restaurant near the waterfront. It actually wasn’t far from Logan’s bar and he could only wonder why the stranger on the phone hadn’t reached out to Logan since he was so much closer. It didn’t matter – Savannah needed him. If she was at the restaurant, it couldn’t be that bad, right?

He double-parked his car in front of the restaurant and flew through the front door. He took in a dark, cozy atmosphere with small, dimly lit lanterns on each table, elegant tablecloths and plate ware and dark paneled wood walls. He’d actually been here on numerous occasions with clients, but the only thing that registered now was that the place was completely empty – not one single customer. All he saw was a bartender behind the empty bar cleaning glasses. The bearded man in a crisp white shirt and black pants pointed towards the back of the restaurant where the restrooms were located. He rushed around the corner and stopped when he saw another man standing outside the ladies’ room door. He was tall, well-built with a buzz cut and a little bit of a five-o clock shadow on his face. Shane guessed he was in his mid-thirties and he was wearing an expensive suit with gold cuffs and what looked like a very expensive watch on his wrist.

“Where is she?”

The man motioned to the door but shot his arm out in front of Shane when he tried to enter.

“Take a breath,” the man said calmly and that was when Shane noticed the knife in his other hand. It was a steak knife.

“If you touched her-” he began.

“You need to calm down before you see her.”

The man’s quiet demeanor was the complete opposite of what was happening inside of Shane, but he forced himself to take a deep breath.

“What happened?”

“She was here with a gentleman – a date I’m guessing.”

Shane’s breath hitched at the image of her with another man, but he kept his mouth shut.

“They put in their orders with the waiter and then the guy pulled her onto the dance floor. She seemed reluctant, but she went. They were only dancing for a minute or so when she started screaming at him to stop.”

Shane started to talk, but the man put up his hand to stop him. “The guy barely touched her. From what I could tell, he was being a gentleman.”

“What happened next?”

“She kept saying ‘no’ over and over. One of the waiters approached her to see if he could help and she ran to the bathroom.” He held up the knife. “She grabbed this off a table as she ran by.”

Shane took the knife and sucked in a breath when he saw blood on the tip of it.

“Did she…”

“She wasn’t trying to kill herself.” The man’s voice had dropped down a level as if he was trying to prepare Shane for bad news.

“Why is there blood on it?” Shane felt like he was in another dimension because he had no idea what the fuck was going on.

“I saw her take the knife off the table, but she locked the door so it took me a minute to get in.” Shane glanced at the door and saw that it had indeed been forced open. “I was able to stop her before she did too much damage.”

Shane closed his eyes and shook his head. The man seemed to realize he couldn’t get out the words to ask what Savannah had done.

“She cut her arm.”

“I don’t understand,” Shane said quietly even though he did, but he needed someone else to voice it because it couldn’t be true.

“It’s a coping mechanism – I’ve seen it before. The cuts aren’t too deep so that’s why we didn’t call the paramedics. We left the cops out of it too because they aren’t what she needs right now. My wife is in there with her but she hasn’t said much. I couldn’t find a cell phone on her – just her license and some credit cards in her wallet. I told her she needed to give me the number of someone to call or I’d have to call the police, so she gave me your name and number. Hasn’t said a word since.” Shane was numb and he felt the man remove the knife from his limp hand. “Take all the time you need – we cleared out the restaurant and shut it down for the night.”

“How?” Shane asked dumbly.

“Let’s just say I know the owner.” He pushed open the door for Shane.

Shane collected himself and went into the bathroom, steeling himself for whatever he was going to see.

Chapter 5

Shock went through Shane when he finally saw her. She was sitting on the floor, her back against the wall, her knees pulled up to her chest. One hand was resting on top of her knees. A beautiful, slightly older woman with bright blonde hair and wearing a red silk dress was sitting on Savannah’s left side, her hand holding a towel over the inside of Savannah’s lower arm. He could see that a little bit of blood had dripped down her arm and onto the floor between the two women. Savannah was quiet and deathly pale. But worse, her eyes were empty, like she wasn’t even there. Her hand was limp in the other woman’s gentle hold.

He dropped down in front of her. “Savannah, sweetheart, it’s me. It’s Shane.” No response. He gently placed his hand over the hand she had on her raised knees. When she still didn’t respond, he bit back his frustration and growing concern that maybe he wouldn’t be able to reach her. “Savannah, I need you to look at me now, okay?” His voice was firm and he stroked his thumb over her cheek. He saw her flinch and then her pale eyes seemed to focus on him. Her body drew up tight as she looked around in confusion.

“Shane?” she said. She looked at him and then at the woman next to her, then finally at her arm and she let out a whimper as she covered her mouth with her free hand.

“Hi Savannah, my name’s Sylvie. I’m going to let you and Shane talk, but I’ll be right outside if you need me.”

Savannah nodded, but she seemed so confused that Shane wasn’t sure if she actually understood what the woman had said. Shane rose to help Sylvie stand and immediately noticed how frail she seemed, especially for a woman her age. When she was upright, she seemed to take a moment to steady herself and he saw pain flash through her eyes. He was about to ask her if she was okay, but then she patted him on the arm.

“I’m okay, take care of your girl here,” she said softly. “Dom and I will be outside if you need anything.”

The woman left and he took her place on the floor next to Savannah. He took her arm and carefully lifted the towel. There were three, almost perfectly matched cuts on the inside of her forearm. Each one was about an inch long and blood continued to well up on the ends of each wound. The first two were deeper than the others – he guessed that she’d been distracted on the third by the bathroom door being kicked in and hadn’t used the same level of force as on the first two. The man – Dom, his wife called him – had been right. They didn’t appear deep enough to need stitches but if he put some butterfly bandages on them, they’d be less likely to scar. Not that it mattered because he could see dozens of scars covering her lower arm, some with raised welts meaning they’d been deeper, others just fine lines that could have passed for skin imperfections if someone weren’t looking close.

She was silent as he examined her arm, but tears of humiliation flowed down her cheeks. The long sleeve shirts she always wore, even in the summer, made sense now. He couldn’t even remember a time when he’d seen her in short sleeves. He carefully replaced the towel and dropped his head back against the tile. God, he wasn’t equipped to handle something like this. He needed to tell someone, her brother, a doctor – someone who was strong enough to help her fix whatever was destroying her on the inside. She had screamed for help every time she dragged a sharp blade over her delicate skin and no one had heard, no one had listened. He heard himself choke back a guttural sob and he covered his eyes with the hand that wasn’t holding her damaged arm.

“I’m sorr-” she started but he shook his head violently and squeezed her hand.

“No. No, you don’t ever say that to me again.” She flinched at his tone, but he straightened and gently used his hand to force her chin to move so that she was looking at him. “You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for – nothing!” She didn’t look like she believed him, but she didn’t say anything. “Can you tell me what happened tonight?” She was quiet for so long that he thought she wasn’t going to answer, but then she finally shifted, relaxing the arm he was still holding.

“His name is Robert. His son is in my class.”

Shane remembered now that she had started her first teaching job this week.

“His wife died last year…He was really nice and I thought I could handle dinner. I even drove myself here so I wouldn’t have to deal with any of the end of the date stuff,” she said awkwardly. She used the sleeve of her other arm to wipe at the lines of tears on her face that had blessedly stopped.

“I didn’t know this restaurant had dancing. When he asked if I wanted to dance, I didn’t really know what to say so he just grabbed my hand and led me to the dance floor. It was okay at first, but when he pulled me a little closer I just kind of froze.”

“Did he hurt you?”

She shook her head violently. “That’s what’s so messed up about this – he was barely touching me, but when I felt his hand tighten on my hip just a little bit everything just went dark and I was back there. No warning or anything – I was just back
there
,” she repeated, her head shaking in confusion.

“What happened then?”

“Robert just looked at me – he was so confused and then everyone was looking at me. And my skin, it felt like there were a thousand ants crawling under it and the noise in my head…I could see people talking to me – a waiter, another guy in a suit – but I couldn’t hear what they were saying because of the noise. I just had to get away.”

“Do you remember picking up the knife?” he asked quietly.

She nodded. “I don’t lose time until after the first couple…” her voice dropped off.

“Cuts?” he finished for her. She nodded again. “What do you mean by lose time?”

“I always remember the first couple, but at some point I lose track and I just start to float away and everything gets quiet and warm. I don’t ever remember stopping – I just kind of wake up and I just feel…”

“Relieved?” he supplied.

Another nod. She dropped her head back against the tile and pulled her arm free of his hold, the towel dropping to the floor unnoticed. She wrapped both arms around herself protectively and turned her head away from him.

“He’s going to put me in a hospital. He won’t want to, but he won’t know what else to do.”

“Who?” Shane asked even though he suspected he knew who she was talking about.

“Logan. He’s going to be so hurt that I did this and he’s not going to understand and I won’t be able to explain it because I don’t get it either.” She sounded done, broken.

Shane knew he should have already called Logan; he should have done that after that day in the hotel and told him everything, but something had held him back. He knew what Savannah was going through, knew the darkness she fought. He’d done it himself for years, continued to do it. And there were times where he’d lost the battle and given in to the relief like she had. He hadn’t used a blade but was snorting shit up your nose any different? Was fucking a woman senseless just for the rush of walking away with a pocket full of cash any different?

“I get it Savannah.” When she turned to look at him, he gave her a slow nod. “I get it,” he said again softly. “I’m gonna take you home now, okay?”

She nodded shakily and he helped her to her feet. He picked up the towel off the floor and went to get a clean one from the bathroom counter top – he was glad it was a classy place that offered actual hand towels instead of paper ones. He dampened the towel and then used it to clean off some of the blood that had dripped down her arm. He snagged a third towel, folded it up, and then placed it over the cuts. “Hold that there,” he ordered gently as he took hold of her elbow on the non-injured arm and pulled her out of the bathroom.

Dom and Sylvie were standing just outside the door, the big man’s arm curled protectively around his wife’s thin frame. They straightened when they saw him and Savannah. Shane was glad to see Dom had gotten rid of the knife.

“You okay darling?” Dom asked, his eyes searching out Savannah’s.

She nodded, but Shane knew she was too overwhelmed and raw to respond.

“Thank you. Thank you both,” Shane said, nodding to Dom and then his wife.

“You take care sweetie,” Sylvie said as she placed a gentle pat on Savannah’s shoulder. She handed Savannah what Shane assumed was Savannah’s purse, which she had probably forgotten about in the melee.

“Call me if you need anything,” Dom said as he handed Shane a business card. Shane glanced at it long enough to see the name
Dominic Barretti
in bold print
.
When he looked up at Dom, the man smiled and said, “Told you I knew the owner.”

Shane chuckled and starting easing Savannah towards the front door. “I’ll be back later to pick up her car.” Dom nodded and walked them out the door. He was glad to see his car still sitting parked where he’d left it.

The ride home was silent. Savannah seemed completely drained of energy and Shane was on edge. He had to be careful how he handled the rest of this evening – he had a plan, but if he fucked it up, he would end up hurting her even more. As he pulled into the driveway of the small house she and Logan had grown up in, Shane asked, “Is Logan home?”

“He’s working.”

Shane glanced at his watch and saw that it would be hours before Logan got home. He got out of the car, helped Savannah out and then led her to the side door. She was still in a daze so he took her purse and dug out her keys. The door led into the small, but clean kitchen that he, Logan and Gabe had spent many nights in just hanging out or playing cards. He’d never met Logan and Savannah’s parents, but from the outdated look and feel of the house, he figured they hadn’t changed much since their parents were taken from them in a car wreck. He suspected it had more to do with lack of money than sentiment, but he couldn’t be sure. He paused to search the fridge for a can of soda. “Do you have any first aid stuff?” he asked. She flinched but nodded.

“In my bathroom.” Of course, he realized stupidly. His chest constricted as he realized this wasn’t the first time for her and she would have had to take care of the damage she had inflicted upon herself. She followed him silently through the dark living room and then up the stairs to where her bedroom was. Her door was open and he pulled her in and had her sit on the bed. A long, white haired cat jumped on the bed and immediately crawled into her lap. Savannah automatically started stroking the animal.

“How are you Pickles?” Shane said as he gave the cat a quick pet and then reached passed Savannah to turn on the light next to the bed.

“Mr.,” she corrected.

“Savannah, I’m having a hard enough time calling the cat ‘Pickles’ – don’t ask me to stick a ‘Mr.’ in front of it.” She smiled briefly and for the first time that night, he felt a shard of hope that maybe he could fix this.

“It’s not his fault. Logan was the one who said he was a girl when he gave him to me. By the time the vet told us he was a he, it was too late to change his name.” Shane chuckled and opened the can of soda and put it in her hands.

“Drink that,” he ordered and then went into the bathroom. He rummaged around in the vanity drawers and then went to the cabinet next to the sink. He pulled it open and froze when he saw an assortment of bandages, ointments, gauze pads and band aids. Right next to the medical supplies was a fresh pack of razors. Nausea swept through him and he held on to the cabinet door so hard he feared he might actually rip it from the hinges. He took a deep breath and then grabbed the razors and put them in his pocket – he knew she could easily get more with one trip to the drug store or just do what she’d done tonight and grab a knife from the butcher block downstairs, but it still gave him some comfort to get them out of her reach.

He grabbed some of the band aids and ointment and then found a fresh washcloth which he got wet. When he got back into her room, she was still sitting in the same spot, the cat softly purring in her lap, her fingers idly running down the length of its back. He remembered how those fingers felt on his skin and envied the animal. Shaking the inappropriate thought away, he grabbed the rolling chair that was in front of her small writing table and sat in front of her. He dropped the supplies on the bed next to her and then removed the towel on her arm so he could clean the wounds again.

“When did this start?” he asked, hoping she hadn’t drifted too far off into her safe place. She started at the sound of his voice and then snapped her eyes to where he was cleaning her arm. She
had
been somewhere else.

“Does it matter?” she asked.

“It matters to me.”

She was quiet for a moment and then said, “Just before I left for college.”

“Have you done it a lot?” He tried to keep his tone casual so she would keep talking, but his insides were churning.

“The first year of school was bad.” Shane took that to mean that yes, she had done it a lot. “Focusing on my school work helped take my mind off things.”

“You mentioned seeing a counselor at school – did you tell them about this?”

She shook her head and whispered, “I was afraid they’d tell Logan and that they’d put me into an institution or something. I knew they’d tell me I was crazy.”

He stopped cleaning the cuts and looked up at her, his eyes penetrating hers. “You are not crazy – you’ve got some stuff you need to work through, but you are not crazy, do you hear me?” She dragged her gaze from his and focused on the cat in her lap. She obviously didn’t believe a thing he was saying. He finished cleaning the wounds and then carefully dressed them. His hands drifted down her arm and over her palm and he couldn’t help but notice how cold it felt. He placed it between his hands to try and warm it up and marveled at how big he was compared to her.