Shamrocks and Secrets (30 page)

I had no intention of postponing our wedding. Even if she had to be pushed down that aisle in a wheelchair, we were getting married.

“
Our house is finished
and
I had ma order those sheets you liked
.
I know you said they were too expensive, but I plan to conceive twelve children in that bed so it needs to be comfortable.
”

I had told Christi I wanted twelve boys, truth was I didn
’
t really care, as long as they were healthy.

“
I
’
ve loved you for so long,
”
I whispered quietly into her hand closing my eyes, holding back the tears that begged to escape. I pictured her young face in my head the first time I saw her. If I would have only followed my heart that day as a teen, she could have been mine much sooner. Instead I let my pride and ignorance make my decision.
“
You
’
ll never know how long I
’
ve loved you.
”

There was no point in telling her my sins of the past, it wouldn
’
t change anything. I didn
’
t want her to think for even one second I didn
’
t want her always. After what she had been through, she only needed to know that I wanted her more than anything.

“
From the first moment I saw you, you
’
ve owned my very soul. My heart has continued to beat because of its longing to be close to you.
”
I finally let the tears fall. They needed to be set free, give me the closure I needed.
“
I want you back in my bed, I don
’
t like you here. I need to know I can wake up in the middle of the night and you
’
re right there beside me. I watch you sleep, I know you don
’
t know that, but I do.
”

I couldn
’
t count how many nights I had lain next to her and watched her sleep. The light from the moon as it illuminated her face; it fascinated me, as did her quiet sighs as she dreamed. I wanted it all back.

I must have fallen asleep, since the next thing I knew, I was being shaken by my ma. Standing beside her was
Ammo
and Smiles.

“
How is she?
”
Ma
’
s soft voice was music to my ears.

“
Well, having Patrick here was good for her,
”
Smiles pointed to the bag that hung from the side of the bed, a small amount of dark amber fluid present.
“
Her kidneys are working.
”

I had never been so happy to see pee in all my life.

“
Patrick, I want you to go clean yourself up. I know you won
’
t leave the hospital, but I brought your things as well. You need to be fresh when she wakes up.
”

I wasn
’
t even going to attempt to protest. My ma would throw me into the shower with my clothes on and scrub me herself and not think twice about it.

“
I brought the girls to help me give her another bath and clean up her nails. She
’
ll be upset if she sees them like this.
”

My ma knew her well. Christi was a strong person, but at the end of the day, she was a beautiful woman and she was always clean. She loved to soak in the tub at the condo, and she always showered twice a day.

I only nodded, as I accepted the bag from her and headed into the adjoining bathroom.

The hot water felt amazing as it cascaded down my body. My Christi was safe and back where she belonged, no more worrying about who was out to get her. She would be free to go about her day without a guard outside of her door. She would be thrilled to hear that.

By the time I was clean and dressed, ma had Christi
’
s hair and body thoroughly washed and her clothes changed. Leaning over her body to kiss her forehead, she once again smelled like my Christi. Ammo was at the end of her bed rubbing her lotion on her feet and legs. I had to smile as the memory of the last morning we had spent together came to my mind.

Christi had a ritual of rubbing lotion all over her body after her shower; I would usually come in the room with her coffee and watch her as she slathered her legs in lotion. She would always look at me and smile, asking me if I was enjoying what I had termed the lotion rub-down. She knew it was one of my favorite things to watch.

The fresh feminine smell of her lotion permeated the air. I was so glad that rancid smell was gone. I knew it would upset her when she woke if she could still smell it.

Four days.

Four long days of watching my Christi sleep. Watching as the fluid in the bag went from amber to pale yellow. Dr. Bradshaw said that all of her labs were looking very good, so today he would be stopping the meds that made her sleep. He couldn
’
t give us a timeframe of when she would wake; she would do it in her own time.

That was true Christi fashion. She did everything in her own time.

Matthew and I had taken shifts sitting with her. Neither one of us wanted her to be alone when she finally woke. I found him on more than one occasion telling her stories from her childhood. One night I found him whispering that he was sorry for deceiving her. He admitted that I had given him the credit card she was using to pay for things for our wedding. Matthew was a proud man, but he knew what was important, and he knew when to ask for help. We had agreed that she never needed to know that he didn
’
t pay for his daughter
’
s wedding, some things just weren
’
t important.

I was no better. I had told her every secret I
’
d ever had in the hopes she would sit up and slap me for doing half of it.

I had contacted the jeweler that made all of the Malloy jewelry and had him repair her shamrock necklace. Nurse Casey had encouraged me to place it back around her neck.

Shamus brought me the bracelet that Sophia had stolen off of Christi
’
s arm; I took it downstairs and dropped it into the donation box of the hospital chapel, after lighting a candle. I wanted nothing that woman had touched to be anywhere near my Christi. I had a new one made for her. I would wait until she woke up to place it on her wrist.

I had her engagement ring in my pocket. Ma had gotten it cleaned, but I wasn
’
t ready to place it back on her finger after what had happened. Ma told me to let Christi decide if she wanted that one back or not. I hoped she didn
’
t, as I didn
’
t want it to hold any bad memories. I was sure the priest wouldn
’
t mind finding another piece in the donation box.

It was just after midnight, day five that she had been asleep. I had to catch up on some much neglected paperwork. Caleb had sent me an email stating that he needed me to look at some discrepancies in his books. He told me that of course they could wait until Christi was well, but I needed a distraction for a while.

I had just opened the spreadsheet on the expenses of
Whiskers
when I heard it. The sound I had waited weeks to hear. The sound that made my heart race every time I heard it.

“
Patrick.
”

W
armth
…S
oftness
…
Comfort.

Death was a funny thing. I had heard stories of people seeing their lives flash before their eyes. However, I heard voices. My father telling me of the time I had climbed a tree when I was seven because the little boy next door double-dared me, this resulting in the breaking of my left arm and the little boy getting spanked all the way home by his mother.

Patrick telling me how he had switched his mother
’
s sugar and salt when he was ten. She had baked several pies that day and wouldn
’
t let him have any, this being his retaliation. She caught him before any additional inedible pies were made. Needless to say, he couldn
’
t sit for a week either.

Nora telling me she was so glad that I was going to be all right as she caressed me with her warm hands. The warmth was my favorite part of death. I had been cold for so long. I snuggled further into the softness and let the comfort engulf me.

Tap
…
Tap
…
Tap
…

Some said that hell was different for everyone. Clearly, my hell was having to listen to someone typing on a keyboard. Maybe if I asked nicely they would stop. Part of me was afraid that if I opened my eyes, I would lose the heat and the comfort. But the tapping wouldn
’
t stop and it needed to stop, like now.

Slowly, I began to open my eyes, waiting for the cold to come rushing back, my hell to return. But it didn
’
t. The room was dimly lit by a single lamp that sat in the corner by what appeared to be a desk. The bed I was currently resting in was so lush and soft, and did it smell nice in here. A clear bag hung over my head, half full of fluid, clear tubing descended down, ending in my hand.

Tap
…
Tap
…
Tap
…

Scanning the room, my eyes finally found the source of that annoying noise
…
Patrick. Even as an angel, he was seriously handsome. The glow from his computer screen illuminated his pale features. The dark circles that lined his still beautiful eyes made deeper by the darkness of the room. He looked so exhausted.

I had to tell him I loved him, that it was fine to go on without me, find love again and be happy.

“
Patrick,
”
I managed. My voice was barely above a whisper, husky and deep, sounding foreign to my ears.

I was startled by the loud crashing sound of his computer hitting the floor, not that he seemed to care, as he sprung from the chair and onto my bed beside me.

“
Christi, Baby.
”

His hands and eyes were exploring every part of my face, his lips leaving gentle kisses as they trailed after his fingertips.

“
Patrick?
”

“
Shhh, don
’
t talk, save your strength. You
’
re safe, I swear it this time.
”

I looked to him in confusion, safe?

“
Am I
…
dead?
”

Patrick began chuckling,
“
No, my Love, you
’
re not dead.
”

“
What happened to
…
?
”

“
All taken care of, Douce, Sophia, Jimmy, Anthony, all gone. They
’
ll never hurt you again.
”

I closed my eyes at the relief of his admission. I would never have to worry about looking behind me and wondering if they had found me.

Patrick began to tell me how Douce was actually responsible for Angus finding me. Had he just cleaned me off with a bucket of water, I would either be dead or sitting in Italy as Anthony
’
s captive right now. I shuddered at the thought.

“
Anthony was a very sick man, Patrick.
”

“
Yes, I know. But he can
’
t hurt you from where he is now.
”

My eyes shot open, was he sitting in jail?

Patrick seemed to sense my panic and wrapped his arms around me, settling me on his left arm, his chin resting on the top of my head.
“
He
’
s sitting in Hell, right alongside Douce, Jimmy, and Sophia.
”

Closing my eyes in relief, I let sleep take over.

Over the next two days, several things occurred. First, Dr. Bradshaw removed all the IVs and had me start eating. You would think I would have just dived in and ate till I was full, but that wasn
’
t what happened. We started small and I filled up quite quickly. Nora brought homemade chicken broth and had me sip it. It warmed me from my head to my toes. She told me it was an old family recipe that she would share once I got home. It did wonders for me.

Second, Dr. Bradshaw insisted I speak with a therapist. Dr. Nancy Green was about my age, she had also been a victim of a kidnapping. She told me some of the feelings and emotions she expected I might feel. She explained that she thought it would be a good idea to meet in her office a couple of times a week and I quickly agreed.

After eight days in the hospital, I was finally released. I had gained four pounds and could handle solid foods.

Nora and Patrick insisted that I stay at Nora and Thomas
’
s house; I chose not to argue as I did tire easily. Patrick and I agreed to continue planning the wedding that was scheduled in just over a week. Nora assured Patrick that she would do the majority of the work and make me rest.

True to her word, that was exactly what she did.

Patrick needed to handle some neglected business decisions and I insisted that he go and take care of them. Nora had me resting in an overstuffed chaise lounge, with the softest throw I had ever felt. It was heaven.

“
I
’
m just a phone call away if you need me,
”
Patrick told me for the hundredth time, kissing every part of my face he could find.

“
Patrick, I know, I
’
ll be fine. Maggie is coming over later and all I have planned is to sit here and be spoiled by your mother.
”

“
Son, I have plenty of experience taking care of sick children,
”
Nora said sternly from her place in the doorway.

“
I know, Ma. I just don
’
t want to be away from
…”

“
But Caleb has been very patient and he needs you, now go
…
she
’
ll be fine.
”

I watched as he walked across the carpet, stopping to kiss Nora
’
s cheek as he left the room.

“
This was hell for him, too, Christi. Not to the extent of your hell, but hell nonetheless.
”

“
I know, Nora, I
’
m just so glad this is finally behind us.
”