Shamrocks and Secrets (12 page)

"I could get used to having you here when I get home."

I looked into his eyes as I took another sip of wine. I wasn't going to respond to that one.

Without another word, Patrick took my glass, placed it on the table, and then extended his hand to me. Once off the couch, he led me down the hall to his bedroom.

The only lights in the room came from the glow of the city below. Patrick stopped just shy of his bed and wrapped me in his arms. His lips found mine as he kissed me with purpose. His hands found the zipper of my dress and ever so slowly he began to unzip it as he continued to kiss me.

My hands made their way to the inside of his suit jacket and removed it from his shoulders before I made quick work of his dress shirt. Patrick slowly steered me onto the mattress, never once breaking our kiss. The feel of his weight on me was enough to make me moan, that and the fact that his mouth had found my neck. Patrick reached around my back and unhooked my bra, removing it so quickly I didn't even realize it had been removed.

"Mo dsha, Christi, ta' tu' nois aille' na shamuhlu me
’
(My G
od, Christi, you're so beautiful),
”
his voice was so thick with want.

"A t'u liom go mbraaitheann dheanann sli,
”
(You make me that way.) I replied breathlessly.

"I never thought hearing Gaelic could actually make me hard." He pushed his pelvis into my heated core to show me how hard he really was.

“
Patrick
…
condom
…
”

He continued as if he didn't hear me. I began to push his chest to make him stop.

“
What?" His voice full of want, breathless and yearning.

"I said, condom.
”
I spoke a little firmer this time.

"Why? You're on the pill, right?"

I looked at him with disbelief. "Yes, but that doesn't change the fact that I have no idea if you're clean or not."

The look on his face was one of astonishment, and then anger.

"Are you telling me you think I'm cheating on you?"

"No, but I am pretty certain you aren't a virgin."

"No, but neither are you."

We had recently had the past partners discussion. He wouldn't admit to a particular number, only that it was more than one and less than thirty.

I told him about my only two encounters. My first had been Mikey O'Toole, and it had been over so quickly that I wasn
’
t even certain it really happened. The second came a few years ago with a guy I thought I would marry, thus the reason for the pill.

"Yes, but your number is higher than mine, and besides, you should be asking me if I'm clean as well."

"I don't have to ask you!" His voice was now raised and his face was red with anger. "Damn it, Christi, I didn't sleep with any of the girls at the club! Why would you think that?
”

Now I was angry; just because he didn't sleep with strippers, he felt safe?

"Oh, so you always slept with virgins?"

He didn't respond.

I began to move to the edge of the bed.

"Christi, I don't see what the big deal is. If you're worried about getting pregnant..."

"No, Patrick, I'm not worried about getting pregnant, I'm worried about getting some life-threatening or disgusting STD. You seem to think because you've only been with non-strippers that you're exempt. Do you honestly think that girls who willingly fall into bed with a mob boss haven't been with other men?"

I began to get dressed; he was crazy if he thought I was going any further.

"No, Christi, I don't think I'm exempt, but I have no symptoms..."

"Did you not pay attention in health class? Most men get no symptoms...Ugh!
”

I was done; he obviously didn't care about the severity of this situation.

"Christi, wait...I...I..."

"You what, Patrick? What can you possibly have to say that would change this?"

He only looked at me, but said nothing.

I spun on my heel and left a naked Patrick sitting on his bed.

"I love you!" he shouted as I opened the door, but I continued out of the condo. Michigan Avenue was actually busy for the late hour. I literally stepped out of the door and into a cab.

There was only one place where I would feel safe right now; only one person who I could just sit with and not be questioned all night. I quickly told the cab driver the address and twenty minutes later, I was standing outside a door I knew well.

I pushed the illuminated button and listened as the bell chimed inside the house. Moments later, the porch light snapped on, followed by the quick opening of the door.

“
D...daddy...
”
I managed to get out before the sobs began.

"Come here," my dad spoke as he pulled me into the house.

I made my way into his living room and then collapsed into the cushions of the couch.

"He's called three times already; I thought for sure you would've gone to your sister's."I shook my head quickly, pulling my knees up under me, wrapping my arms around a throw pillow and sobbing into it.

"She's too happy, and she would've wanted to talk about it."

My father made no comment. He crossed the room and filled two glasses with an amber liquid.

"Here, this'll take the edge off."

I drank what was in the glass, and then handed it back to him. We sat together quietly for several minutes before he began.

"Christi, I have a question that I have to ask." Turning to me, he took my hands in his, "Did he physically hurt you?"

"No, Dad, he didn't hit me."

I turned my entire body and crawled into his waiting arms. Even as a grown woman, I never felt safer than in my daddy
’
s arms.

"Christi, I need to call him and let him know
you're
safe. Regardless of what he did or didn't do, he needs to know you're here and safe with me."

I simply nodded and curled further into my dad's side.

I could feel my dad dialing his phone. I chose to close my eyes and not think about what had happened.

"She's safe."

Silence.

"She said you didn't hit her and that's the only reason I'm calling you. Leave her alone tonight, all right?"

And with that, he ended the call.

T
he sun was shining as I made my way to work. It was just too bad my mood was so cloudy. I didn
’
t sleep very well last night. My dad never said a word after he got off the phone with Patrick.

It was just what I needed, no one hounding me for what had happened, it wasn
’
t anyone
’
s business but mine. I wondered again if I had been right in the beginning, Patrick needed someone to turn a blind eye, I wasn
’
t that girl. I would
never
be that girl.

Charlotte was waiting for me when I got into the office, a large cup of coffee in her hand.

“
I would ask how your night went, but by the look on your face and the enormous bouquet of flowers on your desk, I would say someone screwed up.
”

I took the cup from her hand, rounded my desk and placed the mug down. Grabbing the vase with both hands, I walked out of the office door and to the entry door. I placed the flowers on the sidewalk and then went back into my office.

Charlotte said nothing as I sat in my chair and drank my coffee quietly.

It was nearly eleven when Nora walked into my office.

“
If you have come here to defend him you can turn right back around.
”

Nora stood in the doorway blinking and looking confused. Suddenly the look on her face changed and she reached into her purse, retrieved her phone, and made a call.

“
Care to explain why my Christi is ready to strangle you with her bare hands?
”

I watched as Nora listened for a few seconds and rolled her eyes.

“
Patrick really, this is 2014 not 1954. She has no idea of the types of women that have been warming your bed.
”

Nora crossed the room and took a seat in the chairs that faced me.

“
All I know is you need to fix this and need I remind you that dime store flowers won't even begin to do the job, this is Christi not one of your bobble headed women. Get it together Patrick Shane Malloy, before it
’
s too late.
”

She was again silent as I suspected she was listening to Patrick
’
s side of the story.

“
Well, I
’
m glad she refused them, I would have hurled them at your head!
”

Nora looked directly into my eyes as she spoke.

“
I won
’
t tell you if the necklace is still on her neck or not, figure out how to fix it.
”

She didn
’
t wait for his response, as she ended the call and then turned to Charlotte.

“
Charlotte, I am going to be borrowing Christi for a few days.
”

I looked at Nora in shock. What was she thinking, I had her daughter
’
s bridal shower coming up.

“
Of course, Nora, but we do have Paige
’
s shower approaching.
”

Nora turned her attention back to me.

“
All you need is a phone and a computer, you can work on that from anywhere, am I correct.
”

“
Y-yes?
”

“
Good, then it
’
s settled.
”

Nora reached into her purse and dug out a scarf and a large pair of sunglasses, handing them to me.

“
You will need these, Lass.
”

Two hours later, we pulled off the highway onto a road that was highlighted with a pristine white fence, covered on each side by wild flowers and well manicured bushes. At the end of the long winding dirt road emerged a tall white house. It looked to be an old farm house. To the side, was even a big red barn and behind the house was a very large body of water. Nora was good at getting away from Patrick
’
s men; the car that was parked outside my building never moved as we passed, I am certain they thought it was someone else.

“
This house has been in my family
’
s possession for a long time now.
”
Nora answered my unspoken question.

“
Patrick won
’
t think about this place since he hasn
’
t been here since he was a boy. He will call me and try to see where you are, but he needs to see what it would be like if you were gone.
”

I exited the car and took a deep breath
.
The air was so clean here and you could hear nothing except the wind in the trees.

I got to work in one of the rooms down stairs, Nora was right all I needed was the internet and a phone. I made great progress without having ten different interruptions. That night, Nora returned with Allyson and Paige. They brought several movies and more food than ten people could consume. We sat around the television laughing and telling old, stupid boyfriend stories.

The next day I woke up more rested than I had in a very long time. Allyson left early so that she could get back to Ryan, but Paige decided to hang around and relax.

“
Christi, I don
’
t want to know what Patrick did. Knowing him, it was probably insensitive and just plain boarish, but deep down he really cares about you.
”
Paige said as she played with the throw pillow that rested on her lap.

“
How do you do it, Paige?
”

“
Do what, Christi, forgive him?
”

“
No, not Patrick, Caleb. How did you fall in love with a man that had been chosen for you?
”

Paige smiled and had this soft glow about her after I said his name. There was no mistaking it, they were very much in love.

“
The first time I met Caleb, we had traveled to Mississippi and my Ma said I didn
’
t have to like him if I didn
’
t want to.
”

“
So you knew of the arranged marriage?
”

“
I know it sounds so medieval, and I suppose that if you didn
’
t grow up knowing that
’
s how things were, it would bother you. Honestly, it was kind of exciting for me. I knew that when I met Caleb and if we clicked, then we could bypass all of the
‘
what if
’
and just discuss our future together.
”

The smile on her face never wavered as she continued to tell me her story.

“
So, clearly you both
‘
clicked
’
.
”
I chuckled as I air quoted.

“
Oh, you have no idea the ways we clicked that trip.
”

“
Oh, my God Paige, you so did not.
”

“
Yes, we did. He was my first and I never wanted to leave.
”

I laughed as I recalled my first.

“
From the first moment I laid eyes on him, I knew this was right, that we were perfect in every way. Much like you and my brother are perfect for each other.
”

“
I wish I had your confidence, I
’
m just not so certain.
”

Paige scooted closer to me and took my hand in hers.

“
Christi, Patrick is human and he is a man, so you have to take that into consideration. He is going to do really stupid things because of that.
”

I rolled my eyes at her.

“
But you also have to remember that he is willing to do anything that you ask of him.
”

“
No, that
’
s not true, Paige. If it was I wouldn
’
t be here, I would be beside him, having round three or four. He acted as if I was asking him to cut off his dick or something.
”

I got up from the couch and made my way to the large window that overlooked the lake.

“
I feel as if I am only a number to him, a proverbial notch on his belt.
”

As the word left my lips, a lone tear traveled down my cheek. What he had done hurt, and it hurt badly.

“
But he said he loved you, doesn
’
t that count for something?
”

I hung my head at the memory of Patrick shouting those three words at me as I shut the door. The cold glass felt good on my forehead as more tears began to fall.

“
He said it in hopes of stopping me from leaving.
”

“
Christi...
”

“
He said it in hopes I would be like one of his blonde bobble heads, that don
’
t question anything.
”
My voice reflecting my agitation.

“
Christi, I have to stop you right there. First Patrick doesn
’
t even like blondes.
”

“
Really, because with the exception of the first time I laid eyes on him, he
’
s always had a blonde crawling all over him.
”
My words more clipped than they should have been.

“
But was he touching them?
”

Her words hit me like a baseball bat. I thought back to the parking lot, the first blonde I saw him with, had he touched her? No, no he hadn
’
t. Then with Harley, she was again the one touching him.

“
I can tell the answer by the look on your face.
”

Neither one of us said a word as I let it all sink in. I watched as the leaves in the trees moved with the wind. How the light danced off the peaks of the water. A squirrel sprinted across the lawn, stopping only to shove what I assume to be a fallen nut into his engorged cheeks. Oh to have the simple life of a squirrel.

“
I know my brother
, Christi. H
e has never said those words to any female that wasn
’
t related to him. He wouldn
’
t do that to you for anything
less
than to tell you his true feelings.
”

After a few hours of sitting on the deck and drinking coffee, I got dressed and went for a walk around the lake.

It was close to sunset when I finally came back around to the house. I wasn
’
t ready to go inside, thought, so I walked down the wooden dock and sat down at the end. I leaned over and watched the tiny fish swim around under my feet.

I felt the vibration of the dock move and I knew who it was without looking. I glanced up to watch the sun riding along the horizon. The fading light reflecting in the water.

“
Christi?
”
his voice was barely above a whisper.

“
You don
’
t have to turn around or say anything, but can you just listen to what I have to say?
”

I didn
’
t turn around or even acknowledge his request.

“
You
’
re right, about so many things.
”

I could tell by his tone that he was having a inner battle with himself.

“
I am so sorry. I...you...
”

I continued to let him have his time to get his thoughts together.

“
I disrespected you in the worst way. You have every right to know every detail about my life.
”

I could feel him getting closer, I felt the dock bounce as he sat down behind me.

“
If I could take it all back, I would. I would do as you asked me and not have questioned you. I would take everything back, well, except for telling you that I love you.
”

I could feel the tears begin to form, causing my vision to blur.

“
Granted, I have terrible timing, but it is true nonetheless.
”

A tear ran down both cheeks, I let them.

“
I got tested
.
I had my doctor run every test he could think of and rush the results. I have them here, if you want to see them
—
I am clean.
”