Shameless (4 page)

“Then what are you doing here?” he asked.

What
was
he doing here? Simple. He wanted all this highly suggestive talk to end. Now. It had gotten to the point where he couldn’t sleep, could barely eat, and fifty-nine minutes of every hour were spent fantasizing about what it might be like to claim Nina for one sweet night.

“I’m here to appeal to your better judgment to stop this. Right now.”

Gauge pushed off the table. “Come on, Kev, you know you’ve wanted Nina since the first moment you laid eyes on her. Here’s your chance to have her. In a completely anonymous way.”

“That’s the part I don’t like. If I…have her, as you put it, I want her with eyes wide open. Not shut.”

“Well, then, I guess that means you’ll never have her.”

“What in the hell does that mean?”

“What do you think it means? You’re the one walking around here with a constant hard-on, yet for the past three years you haven’t had the guts to ask Nina out to a movie, much less to bed. That doesn’t bode well for any future possibilities, Kevin, old boy.”

Kevin felt like punching his friend. “Yes, I admit I may be attracted to Nina. But sleeping with her isn’t even a remote possibility. There’s more at stake here than my libido.”

“Which makes the anonymous part all the more appealing. Because it puts the V in
viability.
” He pointed at Kevin. “Think about it. You finally get to experience what both of us have been dying to taste…all without worry of the future of the business or our friendship because she won’t know who she spent the time with. For all she knows, it could be a complete stranger. Some guy I came across at the bar.”

“Don’t you dare….”

“I didn’t say I would.”

“And what about you?” Kevin asked him. “Why don’t you offer yourself as candidate?”

Gauge seemed to consider this. “I would, but…”

“But what?” Kevin waited impatiently.

Gauge grinned. “But I know you’d never forgive me.”

“You’re damn right about that.” Kevin paced back and forth and then back again. “I can’t believe we’re even discussing this.”

“So let’s stop discussing it and make a plan.”

“Not in a million years.”

“What are you so afraid of, Kevin? That you won’t be attracted to another woman if you sleep with Nina? May I remind you that your sex life is about exciting as a rerun of
The Brady Bunch.
You haven’t been out on a date for more than a year—”

“Stay out of my sex life.”

“I’d be happy to. If there were a sex life to stay out of.” Gauge cursed. “Come on, man, what do you have to lose? The way I see it, you’d be doing Nina a favor. And us. Lord knows the last thing anyone wants is for her to hook up with another loser we’ll have hanging around the place for months until she comes to her senses again.”

Kevin shook his head. “I can’t.”

“Fine, then. If that’s the way you want it, I’ll find someone else to take care of business.”

“Yourself?”

Gauge shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe not. What do you care? Nina doesn’t.”

The store was unusually quiet. Right about now she would normally hear the guys chuckling or talking wherever they’d decided to gather to unwind after a long day. But she heard nothing as she walked from the café into the music center and then into the empty bookstore. The front doors were locked and the Closed sign had been turned out.

Neither Kevin nor Gauge could be found anywhere.

Huh.

She took a long pull from the latte, wondering where they’d gotten to.

Actually, this was the third time in as many nights that this had happened. Ever since the night their conversation had turned toward all things suggestive. She felt slighted, missing the company of her friends.

It wasn’t like them to leave without saying goodnight at least. It had become a ritual for them, a way to let the others know that no one was tending to the till in their area as well as a common courtesy. But neither of them had said anything to her.

Strange….

She stepped over to the gas fireplace, still blazing. She stared into the blue-green flames and sipped slowly from her cup. Probably she should just go upstairs, feed Ernie, and climb into bed with a good book after a long, hot shower. Only she didn’t feel like leaving the shop just yet. Instead she turned toward the overstuffed couch, her favorite seat in the place, and sank down into the generous cushions.

Immediately she caught sight of a scarlet envelope in the middle of the table.

Nina’s heart thrummed thickly. She leaned forward, tightly gripping her mug as she looked at the envelope. Her name had been printed neatly on the outside, leaving no doubt who it was for.

She looked around, trying to see if anyone was about, looking for her response.

There was no one.

Hands trembling slightly, she put her cup down and reached for the envelope, fumbling with it slightly before finally holding it in both palms and staring down at it.

It was still a good ten days before Valentine’s Day, so she knew it had nothing to do with the holiday set aside especially for lovers. She ran her fingertip over the carefully written letters. She had little doubt that Kevin had penned it. She smiled, imagining the two men arguing over the envelope. She could see Gauge saying that they didn’t have to write her name, that she would know who it was for, and Kevin debating that in a situation of this gravity, they shouldn’t risk someone else mistakenly assuming the envelope was for them.

Both would have been right.

Nina settled back into the cushions and propped her feet on the edge of the coffee table, creating an easel with her legs against which she propped the envelope. She sat staring at it for long, uninterrupted minutes. She didn’t have to wonder what was inside. She knew without looking.

They were taking the next step….

She realized she was holding her breath and let it out slowly, the action bringing little relief to her singing nerves.

Over the past few days she’d often found herself wondering about the change in climate around the store. She’d begun to question whether it had been wise even to discuss a union between the three of them. Because surely that one conversation was to blame—or to credit—for the change in their friendship.

But just like a hiker who’d found herself halfway up the mountain, it was easier to go forward than back. There was no retreat from such a journey once it was begun.

Were Kevin and Gauge as restless as she’d become? She’d wanted to ask them, but hadn’t had the courage, afraid that perhaps they’d ignore the fact that the conversation had ever taken place. But there was difference in the way they both looked at her now. While there had existed a mild sexual interest in her movements, now she felt their gazes as surely as if they’d reached out and touched her.

But it wasn’t until she surrendered her mind to her dreams at night that she got to play out a more intimate connection to one or the other, often both at the same time.

Until now.

Nina swallowed hard and turned the envelope over, noting that it had only been sealed at the end of the V. So simple to open.

Then why did she feel as if she were Pandora and that the contents of the envelope would forever change her life?

She absently worked her fingernail under the flap, the slight tearing of the seal filling the quiet store. She peeked inside to find a simple, white sheet of paper.

Simple.
Now that was a word that didn’t seem to fit the situation.

Then again, maybe it was custom-made for the state of affairs. Perhaps she was making far too much out of this entire thing. She might even venture a thought that she was doing exactly what the guys had originally accused her of, the entire reason for their discussion at all: the fact that she confused sex with love.

Is that what she was doing? Reading more into a simple matter that involved nothing more than the meeting of two needy bodies?

Nina dropped her head onto the sofa back. “Oh, for God’s sake, Nina, just read the damn thing and get it over with.”

For all she knew the letter would be a truce of sorts. A retraction of the offer and regrets that it had ever been extended to begin with. An attempt at a return to normalcy when everything had been far from it over the past few days.

She reached in and tugged the paper out, carefully opening it. It had been typed rather than printed. She smiled at the formality. Done to keep her from knowing which of them was speaking? She chanced a yes.

She licked her lips and smoothed the single sheet out and read:

Nina shivered all over. She picked up the envelope again and looked inside. In the shallow depths lay a single silk ribbon that didn’t seem wide enough to shield her eyes. She shook it out, realizing that it was folded and that it was, indeed, wide enough.

The slinky material warmed beneath her touch as she raised it to her eyes and then fastened it around her head. The front had been cut as a mask, making allowances for her nose so that she wouldn’t be able to peek out the bottom.

For all intents and purposes she was blind.

Anticipation spilled over her like warm honey as she sat for long minutes. Her own breathing sounded loud to her own ears. She was keenly aware of the thrum of her heartbeat. Made out the sound of a car passing outside.

She gasped and quickly took off the mask.

Could she really do this? Turn herself over to whichever one of them planned to enter her apartment? Put on a blindfold and trust that whoever arrived would bring her pleasure and no pain?

Her throat tightened as she picked up the letter again.

Nina blinked, forgetting for a moment where she was. Half an hour had passed, and she still hadn’t made the glaze for the fresh batch of treats.

“No,” she said, turning instead to a plate of frosted heart-shaped cookies baked in honor of Valentine’s Day. “But these are ready.”

Heidi sighed. “I don’t know what’s going on with the three of you today. I swear, if it weren’t for Brad, John, Julie and I, this place would probably close down.”

Nina rushed around the table. “How do you mean?”

Heidi blinked. “Just look at you. You’re acting like you’re suffering from advanced stages of Alzheimer’s. And I hear the same thing is going on with both Kevin and Gauge.”

Nina’s tongue seemed suddenly too big for her mouth. “Both of them?”

“Are you going to make me repeat everything I say?” She shook her head. “Forget it. You probably aren’t listening to me, anyway.”

She left the room and the door swung back and forth slightly before finally coming to a rest.

Of course, Heidi was right. She wasn’t listening. Had stopped listening the instant the girl had said that both Kevin and Gauge were as distracted as she was.

Could it be…? Was it possible that…?

She squeezed her eyes tightly closed and forced herself to walk to the other side of the table. Wasn’t it bad enough that she’d barely slept since last night? And that when she had finally drifted off, her dreams had been so vivid that she’d have sworn they were real?

God, just look at her. She was a wreck. She’d forgotten to set her alarm and had been late this morning, forgoing her usual shower as she hurried to get dressed to unlock the store, today being her day to open. She’d pulled her hair back into a ponytail and wore only minimal makeup, determined to throw herself into work to help the time fly by.

Instead it seemed at a standstill.

She sighed heavily and tried to focus on making the glaze for the bear claws.