Shallow Grave-J Collins 3 (26 page)

Sharon’s cup clattered in her saucer. “So please, don’t waste your time searching for some mystery man.

Find proof Roland did this to Maria and let him get the punishment he’s had coming to him.”

An ugly, thick silence hung like a dirty mop.

Kevin nestled his empty cup on the tray next to mine and unfolded from the settee. “Th

ank you for your

time today, Sharon. It’s hard, dredging all this up again.

We’ll be in touch.”

Ever the gentlemen, Kevin held the door for me. I had a Marlboro between my lips before my foot hit the bottom step. My feet itched to sprint to the safety of his Jeep. I mentally urged Kevin to hurry, to leave black tire tracks on the driveway in my haste to escape.

We zipped down the gravel road. I’d the sucked my cigarette to the fi lter so fast I felt nauseous. I said, “Kevin, pull over.” As soon as he did, I jumped out and threw up coff ee and the bitter taste of my sheer stupidity.

My gut clenched again when I remembered cruising to the rez—alone—tracking down Roland, again,—

alone—rolling up to his house—alone—like some bulletproof fucking superhero. Mouthing off , tossing around threats, zapping him with my stun gun, shoot-296

ing up his trailer.

Jesus Christ on a crutch. I was the dumbest person on the planet. I was goddamn lucky I wasn’t dead, hacked to bits, stuff ed in a hole some place on the White Plain Reservation.

Roland wasn’t the type to forget my bravado. I’d have to be looking over my shoulder for the foreseeable future.

I had no one to blame for this predicament but myself.

My face burned hot with shame and fear. I stared down the gravel road, seeing nothing, feeling lost and alone in yet another set of bad choices I’d made.

A door slammed. Kevin came up behind me. He kept his distance, never sure if I’d shrug off his support.

“Julie? You all right?”

“Yeah.” I blinked the tears blurring my vision and wheeled around.

His green eyes went completely cold. “Bullshit.

Fool yourself, but you can’t fool me. What haven’t you told me?”

“You know how you’re always warning me not to go off half-cocked? Well, I did something bad, Kev, real bad. And I’m scared.”

297

I blurted out every detail about my trip to the rez, and showed Kevin the slash mark on my neck from Roland.

Kevin peered out the window of his Jeep, his hands in fi sts on his lap. “Does Martinez know this?”

“No.”

“Is there a reason he doesn’t?”

I almost told him I was afraid Tony would kill Roland, but I didn’t know if that fell under a ‘lover’s secret’

category. “I haven’t seen Martinez since it happened.”

Kevin faced me. “Doesn’t he show up in Bare Assets?”

“Only once, the fi rst night I worked. Evidently his priority is Fat Bob’s. I told him I didn’t want to see him at all until the problems at Bare Assets were solved.”

“Is it over between you two?”

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“I don’t know.”

“So the guy with the army of bodyguards isn’t around to protect you when you actually need it?”

“No.”

“I absolutely do not believe your bad luck. You’re gonna have to watch your back at all times, which is a near impossibility for you, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. I guess that means I’d better brush up on my shooting skills, huh? Wanna cap off a couple hundred rounds?”

“Sure, tough girl. Let’s see what you’ve got.”

Kevin and I target shot for over an hour. Th e Browning was lighter than his H&K P7, so it took a few clips for him to adjust. Th

e guy was a serious dead-eye. Yeah,

kind of humiliating to get bested on my own gun.

When I returned home there were two messages.

One from Kim, one from Brittney. Man, that kid was becoming a serious pest.

Maybe she needs you like you needed Ben.

Was that a possibility? Was I short-changing us both by not developing a relationship with her?

Yet another phone call interrupted my strange musings.

“Hi, Julie, it’s Abita. Are you busy?”

She’d called me two days in a row? Something was up. “Nope. What’s going on?”

“We have a free afternoon. Jericho’s acting cooped 299

up and he needs to run. Got any ideas?”

“How about Canyon Lake Park?”

“Is it easy to fi nd?”

“Yeah.” I distractedly rattled off directions.

“Umm. If you’re not super busy do you want to come and hang out with us?”

It amazed me this shy, unsure girl and my brother had been intimate enough to create a child. “Th at’d be

great. In an hour? By the duck feeding station?”

“Good. I’ll see you then.”

It’d give me enough time to stop at
Toys “R” Us
. Not that I was trying to buy Jericho’s aff ection . . . Well, maybe a little. I wanted to give him something tangible to remember me by.

Naturally, I went overboard, buying a midsize Tonka truck, a backhoe, and a couple of bitchin’ Hot Wheels cars. A squishy ball made of soft gel-like plastic that resembled an alien life form with tentacles. A book on dinosaurs and one on trucks. A dinosaur with red glowing eyes that made the most godawful roar when the massive jaws opened.

I left my window rolled down on the drive through Rapid City to the park. Amber sunshine had burned off the chill in the air, leaving one of those perfect crisp fall days, tranquil and cool with no breeze.

A carpet of brown leaves crunched beneath our feet.

300

Feeding the ducks didn’t fascinate Jericho as much as chasing the red squirrels fl itting from tree to tree, pack-ing away pine nuts for the winter. His attention span was as fl eeting as the squirrels’.

I pushed him on the swings. Played follow-the-leader through the playground stations. We tossed the ball around. When he got bored, we had a rousing game of tag.

He caught me and I let him bury me in a pile of leaves.

I was absolutely in heaven.

While I released my inner child, Abita sat at a picnic table, eyes closed, basking in the sun, but I knew she was aware of everything that went on.

Jericho carted the trucks to the sandpit area. Abita and I plopped on the cold ground and watched him dig holes. Neither of us spoke for the longest time.

“Without seeming like a pain, can I talk to you about a couple of things?”

“Sure.”

She blurted, “Yvette tracked me down at the college last night after our fun-fi lled meeting yesterday afternoon.”

“Really? Why?”

“To apologize.” Abita plucked the dead clumps of grass. She’d rip out a few blades, twirl them between her fi ngers and toss them aside, then begin again. “Now I don’t know what to think.”

Was her constant fi ddling from nerves? Or because 301

as a weaver she was used to constantly doing something with her hands? “Th

ink about what?”

“About her. She was really nice. She brought Ben’s baby picture so I could see how much he and Jericho looked alike. Th

en she told me what a great kid Ben

had been, how he’d been the joy of her life. And how her family had pressured her to give Ben up for adoption too.”

Whoa. First time I’d ever heard that. Had my father been involved in that coercion? Is that why he was so bitter Yvette had kept Ben?

I sensed Abita’s hesitation. “What?”

“It was strange to think we’re in the same situation.”

I frowned.

“Th

en she started asking stuff . But the questions she asked me about Ben were sorta strange.”

“Like?”

“Like, was he happy in Arizona? Did he talk about his family? Did he have plans to return to the ranch? Or would he and I have stayed in Arizona with my tribe?”

“Did you answer any of her questions?”

“Some.”

Such as?
was on the tip of my tongue, but Jericho interrupted, bounding over like an eager puppy. “Mama, I’m hungry.”

“Me too,” Abita said.

302

“I’m afraid I don’t have much to off er in the way of food. Why don’t you grab a bite to eat and then come out to my house?” I caught Abita’s gaze. “I’d like to fi nish this discussion, okay?”

She nodded.

I pointed to the trucks Jericho had abandoned in the sand pit. “Forgetting something, sport?”

“Uh uh. Th

em aren’t mine.”

“Yes, they are. Th

ey are a present from me, remember?”

His somber eyes lit up. He gave me a calculating smile so much like Ben’s my heart stopped. A double pat to my face with his sandy hands and he declared, “You’re nice,” before he raced off to collect his booty.

Jesus. Th

e kid owned me. I’d never be able to deny

him a damn thing. I needed to leave before I off ered him the world if he’d only stay in mine.

M M M

Jericho noticed the other
Toys “R” Us
bag on my coff ee table fi rst thing. “Is that for me?”

“You’ll see soon enough, Curious George.”

“My name isn’t George.”

I tousled his soft hair. “My mistake, curious Jericho.”

“Mama, look! Books.” Th

en he saw the dinosaur

and the books were forgotten.

303

“Julie, you didn’t have to do this.”

“I know, that’s why it was so fun.”

“I hope you don’t mind. I brought some homework with me.”

“Not at all. I’d love to see what you’re making.”

Abita spread out her goodies at the kitchen table.

First, she set out a small wooden loom, then unwrapped colorful skeins of yarn from a plastic bag. She didn’t chatter as she meticulously wove the stands through the taut strings. She used a wooden stick-like thing to push the thread fl ush with the others.

I smoked, put off by the uneasy silence.

Normally, I’m not at a loss for words, but I didn’t know how to broach the subject of additional information on the months Ben had spent in Arizona. Because I didn’t know what questions to ask.

Abita had covered the basics. How much would delving into the intimate details of their relationship tell me about Ben’s fame of mind before he was murdered?

Maybe she considered that time with Ben uniquely hers and sharing the memory would somehow taint it.

Th

at made me think of Martinez. Our time together was exactly that: ours alone.

Finally Abita spoke. “After the conversation I had with Yvette last night, I wasn’t expecting any more visits from members of the Standing Elk family.”

304

My body went rigid. Had Leticia harassed her too?

“But I had another weird thing happen this morning.” She snipped a vibrant red piece and left the ends dangling. “Jericho and I were leaving the campus cafeteria and a man approached us. He said he was Ben’s brother, Reese. He kinda looked like Yvette and Owen.”

Pause “Do you know Reese?”

“Not very well. What did he want?”

“To see Jericho. Th

en, out of the blue, just like

Yvette, he asked me the oddest question.”

“What?”

“If Ben had left anything in Arizona.”

I inhaled. Exhaled. “Did he?”

Abita rearranged the loops of yarn on the table according to color. “Just a small box he’d made in the shop with my uncle. He’d put a couple of things in it. Nothing substantial or worth any money.”

“Did you tell Reese about the box?”

“No.”

What was she hiding? “Why not?”

Her black eyes met mine and snapped defi ance.

“Th

at’s one of the few things I have of Ben’s. As far as I’m concerned it belongs to Jericho. I’ll give it to him when he’s old enough to understand.”

“Understand what?”

Jericho skipped into the kitchen and crawled on his 305

mother’s lap, cuddling into her.

Abita didn’t answer. I whisked my cigarette under the faucet and threw the soggy butt in the trash.

Had Reese been searching for something in particular? He should’ve gotten his share of Ben’s earthly treasures after the mourning ceremony.

“I think somebody’s sleepy,” Abita murmured. She kissed Jericho’s crown. “How about if Julie reads those new books to you?”

My breath stalled.
Please don’t say no.

“Okay.” He scrambled down and out of the room.

I exhaled a sigh of relief. “Th

ank you.”

“He likes you.” She gathered her weaving odds and ends and arranged them in an oversized canvas bag.

Without looking at me, she said softly, “I hate to impose, but is it all right if I use your phone? I need to call home.

It’s long distance, but I can pay you.”

“Don’t worry about it.” I dug my cell phone out of my back pocket. “Use this. Free long distance on weekends. Talk as long as you want.”

“Th

anks. I’ll be in the backyard if you need me.”

Jericho snuggled into me. He was warm, and soft, and smelled like I imagined little boys did, earthy, like dirt and sweat with an underlying hint of soap and French fries. He asked a million questions. But by the time we’d read the second page of the second book, he 306

was sweetly asleep.

It was unbelievably peaceful, having my brother’s son dozing on my lap. I shut my eyes and basked in the moment.

M M M

Tapping on the metal screen door woke me from a light sleep. I slipped a pillow beneath Jericho’s head.

Brittney grinned at me from my front porch. “Hi.

We were out running errands and I wanted to drop off the questions for career day.”

I peered over her shoulder, half-afraid to see my dad’s Dodge truck. But Trish’s navy blue Buick was idling in the driveway.

Brittney had grown since the last time I’d seen her, yet she was still at that gangly stage. Her teeth were a snaggle-toothed mess beneath her crooked smile. I smiled back until I noticed hers fading as she stared behind me.

Shit.

On cue, Jericho stood. Rubbed his eyes with confusion and wailed, “Mama? Where’s my mama?”