Shadow's Stand (8 page)

“Maybe.” He tipped his hat as he took the reins from her hand and resumed the climb. “That doesn’t mean I’m not right.”

She followed. “I would not like being spanked.” Even to her own ears the statement sounded weak.

“In general, maybe not, but under the right circumstances, I bet I could make you scream in delight.”

“You like to spank women?”

“The right woman.”

She had to know. “What would make a right woman?”

“You sure you want to hear this? It might be crude.”

With everything inside her she wanted to hear. “A woman should know the man she marries.”

“The right woman would be a woman who could trust herself to the pleasure I could give her.”

She was intrigued. She was horrified. And worst of all, she wanted to see if she was one of the women he could make burn. What was wrong with her?

“No woman likes to be beaten,” she muttered as he and the mare cleared the ridge.

Turning, he held out his hand. She took it, only realizing it was a mistake when his fingers closed around hers in a viselike grip. He pulled her up the last few feet. Here the ground was level. Leather creaked as his horse came over the edge with a lurch.

Shadow walked over to the mare. Without warning, he hefted Fei over his shoulder. Grabbing his gunbelt, she squealed. “What are you doing?”

He sat down on a fallen tree, lowering her across his lap. Her hair fell over her face, blocking out the sun, heightening the sense of intimacy. “Satisfying your curiosity.”

She kicked and squirmed. “I am not curious!”

He laughed and rested his forearm in the middle of her back. “Liar. Not only are you curious, I bet you’re still feeling the heat from that little slap.”

“I am not.”

His hands moved over the smooth silk of her pants, raising goose bumps along her thighs. She shivered and froze.

“Sure?”

She braced her hands against the ground and pushed back. “I am positive.”

That earned her a slap that stung just as sinfully as the first. Excitement skittered along her nerve endings. Her senses flared open. Dread. Anticipation. Pleasure.

“You’re already feeling it.”

“What?”

“The anticipation, mixed with excitement.”

“I’m not.” No amount of denial could contain her shiver as he trailed the backs of his fingers down her thigh.

“No?”

“No.”

His arm in the middle of her back pinned her to his thighs. Against her stomach, she could feel the prod of his shaft. Against her rear the weight of his hand. She couldn’t escape, couldn’t do anything except lie there as his fingers cupped her right buttock. Hot and heavy, they burned through her pants like a brand. He didn’t move. The tension rose within her, responding to that provocative heat, gathering in her core, weakening her resolve. She wanted nothing more than to disprove his claims, but when Shadow’s fingers spread across her rear, teasing the crease, anticipation flared right along with it, gathering the heat into an ache between her thighs. She squirmed and bucked, driving his fingers deeper, the feeling higher. She wanted his hands on her rear, smoothing over her skin.

“Let me go.”

“Not yet.”

Now. It had to be now. Before she embarrassed herself. “Please.”

But he didn’t have any mercy for her, just more passion, more desire. Another tantalizing spank, just a little bit harder than the last, a little bit lower. Followed by another and another. She wished it hurt, she needed it to hurt, but each spank was carefully measured to give only the sweetest pleasure. It felt so good.

“Dear heaven.”

“This isn’t heaven, honey. Just the first step on the path.”

The first step. She shook her head, digging her fingers into his thighs, throwing herself sideways, but he was too strong, too in control. And she wanted more. More of that pleasure/pain that pierced her with the sharp thrust of desire. She was so close to something sweet. She could feel it. “I can’t…”

“Yes, you can.”

The promise poured over her in a rough caress as hot as the emotion within her. She wanted to know where this could take her, where all this feeling went. And the only man who could tell her was Shadow. Her husband.

“Please!”

“You pleading for me to let you up, or for me to continue?”

A sensible woman would’ve demanded the former, but the wild woman inside her, the one she had not known existed before today, wanted her to continue. The one who was still in control told the truth. “I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do. Spread your legs”

She did, helpless to do anything else. Soft as a feather, his hand slid between her thighs, cupping her intimately, pressing high between her legs, finding a sensitive spot, stroking and rubbing with ever-increasing pressure, until with a speed that shocked, the tension exploded, tearing through her in hard pulses of ecstasy. It was too much. Too much. She reached out, needing something, someone. A sob broke past her control.

There was nothing and then there was Shadow, turning her gently, lifting her into his lap, cradling her through the last few tremors. Shadow’s lips brushed her temple. Her cheek. The balm of tenderness in the wake of fire was more than she could stand. And yet everything she needed.

“Are you all right?” he asked in that drawling rasp.

She didn’t think she’d ever be all right again. She didn’t recognize the woman she’d been in his arms. Didn’t recognize the woman who wanted nothing more than to be back in them. She wasn’t weak or needy, but he’d made her feel ecstatically both. The only answer she could give him was a shake of her head. Brushing her hair off her face, he wiped away the first tear.

“I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t mean to go that far.”

The most emotion she’d ever felt and he hadn’t meant it? Another tear followed the first. She hated him and she hated herself. His thumb lingered on the corner of her mouth. “You’d burn me up if I let you.”

She’d been without shame. Her father was right. She was fit only to be a concubine, but not because of her blood. Because of the lewdness of her nature. Lowering her gaze, she apologized.

“Honey, I’m not complaining. A man wants a wife who burns for him. And who can set the same fire loose in him.”

“But that’s not me, for you?”

His touch was gentle, but his truth was harsh. “No.” He set her on her feet. The distance between them yawned like a chasm. “So stop playing with fire and remember how close you are to your new start.”

Yes, she had to remember. She didn’t understand how she could have forgotten. Maybe it was because there was so much she had to remember that she wanted something that could make her forget. Or maybe it was just him. Licking her lips, she wrapped her arms around her chest, flinching at the pressure against her sensitive nipples. How did he do this to her? “I will.”

Walking over to the horses, Shadow took a canteen off Night’s saddle. Uncorking the top, he held it out to her. On shaky legs, she walked over and took it.

“You’ll thank me someday.”

Maybe, maybe not, but today she was not in the mood to be patronized. “I’m not a child who needs to be told what is right and what is wrong.”

“No, you’re a grown woman, and that’s the problem.”

She gave him back the canteen. “There will be no problem.”

“I’m not right for you, Fei.”

The pronouncement hit her like a blow. She took a step back and held up her hand, keeping him from coming any closer. He stood there, backlit by the sun, a broad-shouldered, lean-hipped fantasy that could never be hers, shining light on her foolishness.

“You’re a decent woman, Fei, and I owe you.”

“And you pay your debts.” He was just paying his debts. Somewhere, she found the strength to pretend it didn’t matter. Picking up the mare’s reins she led her toward the clearing on the right.

“Yes.” Taking his hat off, he ran his fingers through his hair. “It can’t be more than that.”

She didn’t look back. “I understand.”

From behind, she heard him mutter, “The hell you do.”

T
HE
WOMAN
DIDN
’
T
HAVE
a lick of self-preservation. Shadow followed Fei across the clearing, admiring the swing of her hips as she strode silently along. His fingers curled into his palm, cradling the sensation of her firm little ass. He’d never wanted anything more than he’d wanted to give her the experience she was so curious about. To bury himself in that hot little body and pleasure them both until she came for him and he for her. He’d almost lost his head and given in to the primitive need to take her, make her his, but then she’d cried. And the enormity of what he was doing had crashed in on him.

You’ve got the stink of the devil about you, boy.

His father’s words echoed out of the past. Shadow shook his head and smiled the smile that absorbed the coldness he felt inside. If rumor was to be believed, he didn’t just have the devil in him now, he
was
the devil. The shadow of death, passing over the land. But he didn’t want to be the death of Fei. Fei was innocence and passion bonded together with a disconcerting honesty. She made him smile. She made him burn. She made him want to be better for her. And he didn’t like it.

There was no point in him trying to be better than he was. He was a wanted man with a hefty price on his head. The only thing he could bring Fei was death. He didn’t want to have to watch her die. Worse, he didn’t want her to die because of him. And as they were out in the territory, it was more likely than not. But he’d give a hell of a lot for one night in her arms. Fei was a woman who knew how to love. The closest he’d ever felt to belonging was during that kiss earlier, when she’d held him as if she’d die if he let her go. But he had to let her go.

She stopped before a thick copse of bushes growing up against an old rock slide. Looking over her shoulder, she sized him up. “It’ll be a tight fit.”

“How tight?”

“Tight enough that I should have brought some goose grease in case you get stuck.”

Goose grease stank to high heaven. “I won’t get stuck.”

Scooting back against the side of the rock slide she slid around behind a boulder that was half hidden by the brush. Son of a bitch, was it a cave? “Don’t tell me this gold is in a cave.”

“Quite a big one, once you get through the opening.”

Perfect. Shadow took off his hat. The damn cave was probably only big from her perspective, but he had a lot more height and twice her breadth. As soon as he got to the opening, he saw that she was right. He was going to lose a layer of skin squeezing in.
Shit.
He hated close spaces that made a man feel as if the walls were falling in.