Shadows in the Silence (18 page)

He chattered away as he made us several delicious dishes. As eccentric as he was, I liked him. He was a very interesting guy. I imagined that we could even be friends. But I knew too well what life was like for a guardian. Friendship didn’t often mix.

When we finished eating, I was so stuffed that it killed me to move around and help the boys clean up. When everything was put away, Icarus led us to the small bedroom we’d stay in for the night.

“I’ll show you another room, Ellie,” Icarus offered and began to leave.

I stopped him. “One is fine.”

He gave me a curious look. “Oh.” He paused, thoughtful. “Okay, then.”

“I’ll get our bags,” Will offered and disappeared from the room to navigate the strange underground house.

The room was cozy, with walls painted a forest green and a big fluffy bed against one wall. I collapsed on the mattress and considered falling asleep before Will returned with my stuff. When I plucked at my dust-caked hair, however, I realized I couldn’t sleep without a shower first. Perhaps the desert wasn’t for me after all.

I also realized that Icarus hadn’t left yet. Sheepishly, I sat up and smoothed my hair out of my face. His head was
slightly cocked to the side, sort of like a bird checking out a worm. Thankfully, he was angelic and I was in no danger of sharing a worm’s fate. Maybe.

“You are very strange,” Icarus observed.

“Thanks,” I replied, a little unsure. “So are you.”

“I accept that.”

“Fantastic.”

He hesitated, his expression blank. “You’re also very different than I imagined you to be. You’re an archangel, but you’re so…”

“Human?” I finished for him.

“Yeah,” he said. “You’re very human. Why?”

I blinked, again uncertain. Then I shrugged. “Well, if it quacks like a duck…”

“I don’t understand.”

“I’ve been on Earth for a very long time,” I continued. “I’ve been human for a very long time. I don’t really remember what it’s like to be an archangel.”

“You and your Guardian seem close.”

“We’re together,” I explained.

“Interesting.”

“Is there something wrong with that?”

“No,” he said. “I don’t think so. But I wouldn’t have expected it.”

“Our relationship isn’t without its challenges,” I said. “I believe it makes us a stronger team, though. Love makes you fight harder on instinct.”

“Also interesting,” Icarus noted. “I wish I could understand that kind of fortitude.”

“One day you might.”

“I won’t,” he replied. “But that’s okay. I’m happy that you have found it. Keep it close to your heart.”

“I will,” I promised.

“I’m glad to know you, Ellie,” Icarus said. “Good night.”

I smiled at him. “I’m glad to know you too. Thank you.”

He gave me a slow, shallow bow before he walked from the room. A few moments later, Will returned and tossed my duffle bag on the bed.

“Got your stuff,” he said.

“Thanks. I’m going to catch a shower. Are you crashing?”

He nodded. “Yeah. I have a feeling we won’t get a lot of rest after tonight so I’m going to get in as much as I can.”

“Good call,” I said with a tired smile. “I’ll be back in a few.”

I hoisted my bag over my shoulder and searched down the hall for the bathroom. I took a quick shower to get the dirt out of my hair and when I returned to the bedroom, the lights were off. I climbed into bed beside Will as quietly as I could so I wouldn’t wake him. I nestled against his body and rested my cheek on his chest, his heartbeat a metronome lullaby.

I drifted in and out of sleep for a little while, each spell so short that I wasn’t asleep long enough to dream. Something kept pulling me back out and awake, but I couldn’t quite tell
what exactly. Before I realized what I was doing, I was sliding out of bed and into my shoes and tiptoeing out the door. I felt an energy pulling me out of the underground house and outside into the night. The doors all unlocked before me, swinging wide to let me through, and I climbed the winding staircase to the surface in a sort of trance. My shoes made soft footsteps on the creaky wood floor of the rickety trailer, and when I pulled open the front door and pushed the torn screen aside, I became too aware that I’d just let myself get lured out into the open.

And something else was out here, too.

I WAS NO STRANGER TO THE HEAT AND LIGHT OF an archangel’s glory. Michael stood before me in all his brightness, that cold, hard stare fixed on me. I felt so primitive and fragile in that moment when I looked at him and saw what I had once been. But in all his beauty, there was no life in him, no happiness. There was something different about him tonight, something flickering in his emotionless face that he was fighting with all his might to hide—something I could have sworn was anger.

Even though I was wary of his presence, I hoped he was here to deliver a message, something that might give us an edge against the Fallen. “Michael? Are you here to help us?”

“I’m here for the Guardian,” he answered in his icy, hollow voice.

In the next instant, Will was at my side. His power
hummed around him and I knew he could sense through our bond that I felt threatened. Michael wasn’t here out of peace. Neither of us was fool enough to drop our guards.

“I know why you’ve come,” Will said, his voice dark and challenging.

Michael’s robes fluttered beneath his golden armor in an unseen breeze, his wings spread high and wide. His feet were firmly on the ground, but he towered over us. “I warned you, Guardian.”

I suddenly realized the exact reason for Michael’s arrival. “Are you
serious
?” I spit at him. “You turn your back on this war, refuse to step in while Sammael is running rampant, while demonic reapers massacre humans in public and threaten not only Earth, but Heaven as well, and
now
you show your face? Is my sex life really your priority? No wonder our side is in such deep shit.”

“Accepting the life of Guardianship is to accept the life of servitude,” Michael boomed, his voice ringing out above mine. “The Guardian is not to pursue his own longings and desires, and he is especially not permitted to pursue an archangel.”

“Is this about him breaking rules I’ve never heard of, or is it the fact that he’s a reaper?” I demanded. “Whatever rule you insist on enforcing has no grounds here. In Heaven, I’m an archangel, but this is Earth and down here, it doesn’t matter that I have an archangel’s power. on Earth, I’m human and I answer to no one.”

“The Guardian’s punishment doesn’t involve you, Gabriel,” Michael said.

“Like hell it doesn’t!”

“Ellie,” Will said in a careful, quiet tone, warning me. I understood his concern, but now wasn’t the time to be careful not to anger an archangel.

“You knew I would come if you disobeyed me,” Michael said to Will. “You have overstepped your limits. Have you no respect for your charge, reaper?”

“How dare you ask him that?” I shouted. “This
reaper
has shed more blood for me than you or any of our brothers and sisters have ever shed. None of you have any clue what it’s like down here. The angelic reapers are the only reason there’s any life left on Earth at all and you have no reverence for them because of what they are. They are losing their lives for your cause!”

“They are tools,” Michael said, his gaze piercing me. “As are we.”

I shook my head in disgust. “If that’s what you think, then you have nothing to fight for. And if you have nothing to fight for, then there’s no way you can win this war. That’s the difference between you and me. I
do
have something to fight for. The reapers and I aren’t mindless drones. We’re fighting for our lives, for
everyone’s
lives! No thanks to you,
we
will win this war.”

“The Guardian’s mission is to keep you alive until he is dead,” Michael said. “He accepted this duty when I offered
it to him and he has disobeyed my orders.”

“He isn’t yours to command!” I cried. “Will is my Guardian and he’s free to live his life.”

Michael’s lip curled. “He is not free. He is bound to the will of angels.”

“Honor binds me to
her
!” Will roared suddenly. “I will follow her to the edge of night and back. You’ve said yourself that I am hers.”

Michael drew his sword from its sheath and Will called his own in a flash of light and silver. “You
will
obey an archangel.”

Will poised his sword at Michael and his power surged around him, a violent clash of shadows and darkness. “I don’t obey you. I obey Gabriel, and I love her. That makes me stronger than everyone else, because I will never give up. There is nothing in existence that I hold more dear. She is everything to me. She is mine as I am hers, in every way. I will not yield to you, Michael, for you are not my master. I answer to Gabriel alone. Strike me down if you wish to, but I’m not giving her up without a fight, and I’ve been fighting for a very long time. I’ve still got plenty left in me.”

“Then you have chosen death,” Michael said icily.

I drew in a sharp breath of horror and threw myself between them. “No!” I cried to Michael. “If you kill him then it’s practically a death sentence for us all. Will has been my Guardian for five hundred years. No other Guardian has ever come close to protecting me that long. Why would you
even consider killing the best soldier you’ve ever had when we’re so close to the end? How could you be angry about him and me?”

He gave me a blank look. “I am not angry. I feel nothing.”

“And that’s your weakness, Michael! You can’t feel anything! That means you don’t understand. But I do, Brother. I understand. I feel. I love. I love my Guardian. You gave him to me! God made me human! How many thousands of years have you watched humanity? What have they all done? They’ve all loved. How could God have made me human and you have given me my Guardian and have expected me not to love him?”

“Love is the illness that overtook Lucifer,” Michael replied. “It was what began the war.”

“No,” I said firmly. “His hatred and jealousy of humankind were stronger than his love for God and for our brothers and sisters. If the only emotion he felt was love, then he could’ve accepted that our Father was also devoted to His human creations. But Lucifer didn’t just love and you know that as well as I. Love had nothing to do with the evil Lucifer has done since his rebellion.”

“That may be true,” Michael said. “But love is just as dangerous as hate. I have stayed strong and true to God, because emotion does not cloud my mind. I must focus on my mission and so must the Guardian.”

“Michael,
please
,” I begged. “You have given me incredible wisdom before. Please hear my own wisdom for you. Will
isn’t dangerous. He gives me something to fight for and he makes me happy. You can’t execute him.”

“He disobeyed. Disobedience warrants death.”

“I love him,” I said in a small voice, my lips trembling. “No love can ever warrant death. Why would you take that away from me?”

Michael grew silent, his gaze softening as he looked from me to Will, and a dim light of hope flickered in my heart. “You would mourn for him.”

“Yes,” I said. “I would mourn him forever with a broken heart. This human soul has given me so many blessings and curses. I’m the only one of our kind who has ever felt the most perfect happiness and the truest sorrow—
because
of this soul. My love for my Guardian is one of those blessings. It’s not a curse.”

“I want to trust your judgment, Sister.”

“You
can
,” I promised. “Please trust me. I need all the help I can get, and that includes yours. If you kill my Guardian, then I will never forgive you. I can’t be at war with you too. Please,
please
, Michael, my brother. Don’t kill him.”

I was sobbing now and the archangel stared at me with abject amazement. He glided toward me and bent down, peering into my face like I was some sideshow freak. I buried my face in my hands as I cried, wiping the tears from my cheeks and making an awful shuddering noise high in my throat. I hated the way Michael regarded me then, as astonishment leaked through his emotionless exterior. He lifted a
finger to my cheek and caught a tear on his lucent skin that was made of golden light. He studied the drop and looked into my face.

“These are human tears,” he said, his disbelief clear.

I sniffed hard. “Yes. I
am
human. Why can’t you understand that?”

“I have never seen you cry before.”

The ridiculousness made me almost laugh. “I’m begging you not to kill the person I love. of course I’m going to get a little emotional.”

“I do not want you to cry,” he said. “It makes me afraid for you. You are not supposed to cry and I am not supposed to feel fear.”

“Do you hate me?” I asked him.

“Of course not,” he said gently.

A tear caught on the edge of my lips. “Do you love me as your sister?”

His mouth opened to reply, but nothing came out.

“It’s okay,” I whispered. “You’re worried about me, because you love me. Don’t be afraid of feeling anything. our Father made us this way. He wouldn’t make a mistake.”

“I…,” Michael said, and emotion spilled over his face. His brow furrowed with exhaustion and he seemed overwhelmed by what he felt. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again. “You are my sister, Gabriel.”

“Then don’t do this,” I begged him.

He was quiet again for several agonizing moments, returning to his emotionless state. “Keep him. I have faith in you, Sister.”

Will and I breathed sighs of relief, but it was a few seconds before Michael withdrew his sword. His expression remained unchanging as he lifted Will’s death warrant.

“Thank you,” I said to him. “Thank you so much. I need you, Michael. Help me defeat Sammael and Lilith.”

“If I could, I would,” he replied. “But my orders are to remain in Heaven and to protect our world. It is your duty to protect Earth. I’m sorry, Gabriel.”

“I can’t do it on my own. I need more angels down here.”

“We cannot disobey our orders,” Michael said. “That includes me.”

“Have you ever heard of something called the hallowed glaive?” I asked. “I was told that the enemy fears this weapon could destroy Sammael.”

“Yes,” he answered. “The glaive belongs to Azrael.”

I looked at Will. “That’s awesome news.”

Will nodded. “Azrael must have used this weapon to defeat Sammael before and he’s got to still have it. At least we know right where it is and won’t have to go looking for it.”

“Is it possible for me to become an archangel again?” I asked Michael. “If I had my full power, then I would be a match for Sammael.”

“It is possible,” Michael said, “but it will destroy you.”

My belly felt like I was just socked by a fist, the shock of his words a mind-numbing disappointment. “What? Destroy me?”

“No human body can withstand that much energy,” Michael explained. “A mere glimpse of an angel’s glory will burn the eyes from a normal human’s sockets. You have enough divine power in you to handle angelic glory for short periods of time, but trapping all of your true strength inside this mortal body will kill it. Death may not happen instantly, but it would be inevitable. You are unstable enough as it is already, with your human emotions in direct conflict with your angelic power. You must have felt this happening before when you summon your full strength.”

“Are you saying that I would become a time bomb?”

He gave me a single nod. “In a manner of speaking.”

Will closed the distance between us and put a comforting hand on my arm. “We should abandon the plan, then. It’s too much of a risk.”

“How long could my body survive with my full power?” I asked Michael.

“Ellie—” Will’s hand tightened on me.

“You would live until you used that power,” the archangel said. “And you would need it all to kill the Fallen.”

“So I could survive until I killed Sammael and Lilith.”

“That is possible.”

“Ellie!” Will took hold of my chin and turned my face
toward his, drilling his eyes into mine. “We will find another way to win.”

“If this is the only way, then I’m happy to do it,” I told him. “I know it’s awful, but if it kills me, then I can come back.”

“That cannot be guaranteed,” Michael boomed, drawing our attention back to him. “If you die as an archangel on Earth, instead of the human you are now, you will not likely be reincarnated.”

I let his words sink in, considering what they truly meant would happen to me. I felt myself fading into my thoughts, but the pressure of Will’s hand on my skin kept me grounded. I drew a trembling breath and looked into his face. Fear resonated in his green eyes and he gave an almost imperceptible shake of his head.

“There’s always another way, Ell,” he whispered.

I bit my lip and swallowed hard. “What if there isn’t?”

“I will
make
another way,” he swore and cupped my face in his hands. “I’m not losing you for good.”

“If this is my fate, then I embrace it,” I said.

His thumbs brushed my cheeks gently and his gaze was firm and absolute. “No. You have the power to change your fate. You can fight it. We’ll fight it together.”

“If I had more information, I would tell you what I know,” Michael said. “But what you ask of has never been done before.”

I pulled away from Will and approached the archangel.
“Then you’re saying that you don’t know everything, that there could be a chance you’re wrong.”