Shadow's Awakening: The Shadow Warder Series, Book One (An Urban Fantasy Romance Series) (19 page)

“What else did he say?”

“That was it,” Conner said and bit into the sandwich. It was quickly chewed and swallowed before he went back for another bite, as if he hadn’t known how hungry he was when he picked up his food.

“Are you sorry about what happened?” Hannah asked. She figured it was like tearing off a bandage. She didn’t want to hear Conner say he regretted kissing her, but she’d rather know where she stood before she embarrassed herself any more. Conner finished the bite of sandwich and filled his spoon with chili. His delay in responding was not encouraging.

“Conner?” Hannah prompted.

“Not sorry,” he said. “But there’s something we have to talk about.”

Hannah’s stomach sank. Here it was—the brush-off. She’d thought she was prepared, but now that it was coming, she felt sick.

“Okay,” Hannah said, dragging out the word. “Is this where you tell me it was nice but it can’t happen again? It’s not me, it’s you?”

“Not exactly. This is where I tell you that I think I know what your skill is.”

“What?” Of all the things Hannah had been waiting for, that wasn’t even on the list. “What do you mean, my ‘skill’?”

“Your skill as a Shadow. I told you all Shadows have different talents. I don’t know all of them, but I remembered this one. I think you’re a resonator.”

“What’s a resonator? What did I do?” Hannah tried to keep calm. A resonator didn’t sound good. Being a healer sounded good. Even a soldier. Resonator sounded sinister.

“A resonator can influence people with their minds.” Conner cut himself off and looked uncomfortable, like he was trying to figure out what to say.

“Mind control?” Hannah couldn’t keep the disgust out of her voice. “I didn’t do that,” she protested. “I don’t know how to do that.”

“It’s an innate ability. You don’t need to know how to do it,” Conner said. “You just do it.”

“I didn’t,” Hannah said again. She pushed away from the table and jumped to her feet, lunch forgotten. Anger, fear, and resentment swirled in her chest. “I’d know if I did that.”

“Hannah,” Conner said. “It’s okay.” He watched her, his eyes wary.

“You know, if you didn’t want to kiss me, you could just say so. You don’t have to act like I made you do it.”

Hannah glared at him. She’d felt uncertain when Conner had sent her back inside to take the phone call. But she hadn’t expected him to throw the blame for their kiss all on her. Maybe she found him attractive, but she wasn’t desperate. She’d never had to force a man to kiss her.

“That’s not what I meant.” Conner pushed his chair back.

Hannah paced across the room, her hands flying through the air in agitation as she moved. “Then tell me what you meant.”

“I felt something out there right before I kissed you. When you told me to stop saying no. I felt a push in my mind—a push that was coming from you. You shouldn’t have been able to do that unless you can resonate.”

“But I didn’t do it, Conner. I can’t believe you’re saying that I forced you into it,” she said, voice rising at the end, edging into hysterical. She was losing control. This accusation was the last thing she’d expected. A simple “No thanks” would have been a lot more tolerable than being told she’d mind-controlled Conner into kissing her.

That aside, the idea that she could use her mind to make people do things was terrifying. That wasn’t something good people did. It was evil. Hannah wanted to be one of the good guys. She wanted to help people.

It had sounded to her like the Shadows were good—they killed demons and protected humans. Not exactly what she’d planned for her life, but it seemed like a noble destiny. Mind-controlling people did not sound noble.

And Conner was implying that she was doing it unconsciously—just walking around willy-nilly, making people do her bidding. If that were true, would she ever have gotten a speeding ticket? Or a bad grade? Because she’d had both of those.

“Hannah,” Conner said in a gentle tone. “Relax. Everything is okay. This isn’t a bad thing.”

“Don’t tell me to relax,” Hannah cried, suddenly overwhelmed with panic. It was all too much. The violent, bloody fight the day before. Sudden freedom from captivity. Learning she had a whole universe in her head she’d never discovered. Moving things with her mind. The best kiss of her life. And now Conner was telling her she was some kind of brainwashing mind controller.

“Hannah,” Conner said again in the same low tone, walking slowly toward her. His easy, deliberate pace reminded Hannah of a lion stalking its prey. “Take a deep breath. There’s no reason to get all wound up.”

“Stop. Stay over there, Conner. I don’t want you near me right now.” Hannah sucked air into her lungs, trying to find her equilibrium. The panic kept rising, choking her. She was furious with Conner, mostly because she was humiliated at the idea she could have made him kiss her when he didn’t want to. The anxiety and anger rolled together and swelled in her chest, making it harder to breathe or find any sense of calm. Conner continued to ease her way with more deliberate steps.

“I said to stop,” she shouted.

“If you want me to stop, sit on the floor and put your head between your knees. You’re going to make yourself pass out.”

“I’m fine. Just stay over there.” Hannah backed away, wanting desperately to be somewhere alone where she could let her emotions drown her in peace. She stepped backward again and tipped to the side, her foot sliding out from under her, the victim of a misplaced shoe. Before Hannah could get her balance, she was going down, arms flailing.

In a flash of movement, Conner was there, pulling her into his arms, holding her against his long body. Relief at being saved from falling disappeared as Hannah registered Conner’s arms wrapped around her like steel bands. She tried to pull away, struggling against him.

Hannah heard herself cry out, “Let me go,” over and over in hysterical sobs. Vaguely aware of Conner lifting and moving her, she continued to fight his hold on her.

After a moment, Conner lowered them to the couch, adjusting her in the confines of his arms.

Unable to stop, Hannah continued to twist and writhe in a desperate effort to get free. Her contortions did nothing more than wear her out. She tore at his powerful arms and kicked at his legs, trying to dislodge his grip. It felt like she was trapped in an iron cage. Conner’s thighs were rock solid beneath hers. She should have known that his tall, muscled body wasn’t just for show. Conner didn’t look like a soldier. He was a soldier. Hannah was no match for him. He held her as easily as he would a small child, pressing her length to his, whispering “Shhhh” into her ear as she wasted her strength fighting him.

Eventually, Hannah relaxed. Conner continued to whisper soothing noises, his warm breath brushing past her ear in a sensual caress. He must have sensed that she’d given up, because his arms eased their hold. Hannah knew she should try to get up, but she didn’t want to. Conner was warm and strong beneath her. She should be embarrassed about her tantrum. Now that it was over, she couldn’t seem to muster up the emotion.

“Better?” Conner whispered, his voice low and husky.

Hannah’s muscles were lax as she lay against him, her mind finally still. As she absorbed the sensation of Conner’s body encircling her, Hannah realized that her earlier arousal hadn’t been chased away by her temper.

The brush of his lips on the shell of her ear sent a shiver down her spine. Need flared back to life, greedy and urgent. Hannah became aware of his hard length pressing into her ass. The heat gathering between her legs tripled. Wow. She hadn’t missed his size when she’d been pressed up against him during their kiss, but in this position it was impossible not to appreciate. Okay, now she was a little embarrassed. Hannah cleared her throat to answer.

“Better,” she said quietly. “Sorry I freaked out.”

“You were due. It’s been a crazy few days on top of a crazy few years.” He was still whispering into her ear, the puffs of his breath sending more shivers down her spine. Hannah struggled not to shift against the press of his cock into her backside. She stiffened when his hands slid beneath her shirt to rest on the bare skin of her belly. Fingertips drawing small circles on her skin, Conner tilted his head to the side and bit gently on her earlobe. He worried the soft flesh between strong teeth before releasing it to rub his nose against the back of her neck. Her hips shifted, restless. Before Hannah realized what he was about, Conner withdrew his hands and grasped both her wrists. He pulled them behind her back, then transferred her wrists to his left hand. His right, he slipped beneath her shirt again.

“Conner,” Hannah said, testing his grip on her wrists. “What are you doing?”

“Do you want me to let you go?”

He slid his hand over her belly, across her ribs, to stroke the band of her sports bra. Fingertips light as air skimmed over the tight fabric, unerringly finding the stiff tips of her nipples. Hannah froze, then squirmed, letting out a small moan.

Conner nipped the side of her neck before he whispered once more in her ear. “A minute ago you were begging me to let go. You were fighting me with everything you have,” he said, his voice low but casual, as if they were discussing the weather.

In a lightning quick movement, he slipped his fingers under the bottom of the sports bra and pulled it over her breasts, baring them to his touch beneath her shirt. Hannah couldn’t contain her gasp when his callused, hot hand closed over her soft breast. He squeezed and weighed, twisting her nipple between his thumb and forefinger. Her head rolled back on his shoulder. It had been so long. Had it ever felt this good? Aware she was already wet, she ground down on his hard cock beneath her.

“Could you get away?” Conner asked. Hannah let another moan escape, unable to focus on what Conner was saying. He asked again, “When you were fighting me, could you get away?”

“Nooo,” Hannah said, the word coming out on a groan.

“No,” Conner agreed. “You couldn’t. If you were controlling my mind, do you think you’d be where you are right now?”

“No,” Hannah breathed, awareness finally penetrating her sensual fog. If she’d been able to control Conner, there was no way he would have been able to hold her still. As angry and hysterical as she’d been, if she could “resonate” her will onto him, she’d have been free and sprinting to the next state.

“No,” Conner said.

He pulled back on her captured wrists. Not hard enough to cause discomfort. Just enough to arch her back and press her breast farther into his hand. His hot mouth closed on the cord of her neck and sucked. Hannah’s breath came faster. “Conner,” she whimpered.

“And now that we’ve established you can’t get away…”

Conner released her wrists and brought his left hand up to join his right at her breasts. Filling his palms, he lifted her breasts and tugged on both nipples at once. He moved his mouth back to her ear.

“I kissed you because I was tired of telling myself not to. I kissed you because I wanted to. I felt you push me to do it, so I knew you wanted me to.”

“But—”

“Shut up, Hannah,” Conner said without heat. “Just listen to me.” He waited for her to speak, but she remained silent. “You can resonate. I felt it. But it doesn’t work well on Warders. It doesn’t seem to work at all on me. I can tell that you’re doing it, but it doesn’t have any effect. And it’s not a bad thing. Okay?”

“Okay.” Hannah squirmed, rubbing her back into his chest. Now that she knew she hadn’t pushed him into kissing her, she didn’t want to talk about this any more. At least not for a while. She wanted to get back to his hands tugging on her nipples. When one hand dropped away she moaned in protest until she felt his fingers on the button of her jeans.

“Just to be clear,” Conner said against her jaw, “since we’ve established that you can’t get away from me—do you want me to stop?”

At that he popped the button open. The rasp of the zipper was loud in the quiet room, the sound enough to have Hannah squirming in anticipation. Conner slid his hand against her stomach, pressing the undone zipper wide, making enough space to fit his hand inside her underwear. Strong fingers cupped her core, pressing into liquid heat. Hannah wiggled her hips, pushing into him, loosening her jeans. Conner spread his fingers, sliding one into her folds, stroking to draw out the hot moisture that had gathered. A wet finger eased up, settling just over her swollen clit.

“If you want me to stop, you’re going to have to tell me soon, Hannah. I don’t want to push you. And I really don’t want to take advantage. But if you don’t tell me to let you go, I’m going to make you come right here. Then I’m going to carry you into my bedroom and fuck you until you come so hard you pass out.”

He pressed lightly on her clit and circled it once. Just enough for her to feel what was gathering, but not enough to bring her over. Hannah couldn’t believe how quickly this had escalated. A few minutes ago she’d been fighting tooth and nail to get away. Now she was panting at the thought of him stripping off her clothes, pressing his strong body to hers and filling her with his hard cock. It seemed like years since she’d been touched by a man. And even then, it had never been this good. She rocked her hips, pushing for just a little more pressure. Her pussy felt hot and empty. So ready for him.

“More, Conner,” she gasped. “More, please.”

“Yeah,” he breathed. “More.”

In one smooth motion, Conner wrapped his arm around her ribcage, plastering her back to his chest. He spread his knees, dragging her legs apart, and thrust two long fingers deep, grinding his palm on her swollen clit. Hannah’s back arched. Her mouth fell open on a scream of pleasure as release washed through her. Conner’s fingers inside her were as big as anything she’d taken before, pressing on every sensitive spot she had. His arms held her tightly as pleasure wracked her in brilliant waves, blanking out her mind. Gradually, his palm gentled its pressure on her clit, easing her down from the powerful orgasm.

“You’re gorgeous when you come,” Conner said, drawing his hand from her jeans. He grazed his lips along her jaw. “I want to see it again.”

At that, he lifted her, flipped her over his shoulder and carried her to his bedroom.