Shadows (15 page)

‘You bastard.’ Jason stands up so quickly his chair tips and smacks on the timber floor. All heads in the Green Bean turn to us.

Malachi is still dressed in dark jeans, although he’s remembered Pan Beach’s climate and worn a t-shirt. He’s a few paces away, out of swinging range.

‘Calm down, kids, I’ve just come for the espresso. I hear it’s good here.’ He folds his arms and flexes his biceps. Like I need a reminder of how strong he is.

Simon’s eyes dart from me to Malachi and back again. Jason’s chest is rising and falling quickly.

‘What do you want?’ I risk looking outside. Rafa’s table is empty.

‘Honestly?’ Malachi sighs. ‘I want for none of this to have
happened. For life to go back to the way it was. I’d like to not have to worry about you smashing me in the
coglioni.’

Jason stands his chair back up. He slides it under the table, giving a quick, reassuring smile to three middleaged women behind us. Slowly, people turn back to their coffees and food. There’s a flash of white linen as Bryce leaves the counter and goes back to the kitchen.

‘You mean you want it to be like it was before, when Jude and I weren’t talking to each other?’ I ask.

Malachi shakes his head and looks at me like I should understand. ‘Before that, when we were all still one big happy family.’

‘Come on, Malachi, we were never that.’

He turns to find Rafa a couple of metres away from him. It’s taken all my concentration to not look at Rafa. He’s come from the toilet; he must have shifted there as soon he saw what was going on.

Malachi steps back, raises his hands, says under the cover of the music, ‘Rafael, let’s not make a scene in this nice
public
place.’

‘Like Taya last night?’

‘That wasn’t exactly how it was meant to go down. She may have gone in a little early.’

‘And what about Gabe in the cage? Was that meant to happen?’

‘I just follow orders, you know how it goes.’

Rafa is relaxed, conversational. No matter how strong Malachi is, Rafa is the better fighter, and both men clearly know it.

‘It’s a wonder Gabe could find your balls at all. Sounds like you still haven’t grown a pair.’

Malachi’s lips draw together. ‘And I suppose you’re here out of the goodness of your heart?’

‘Nathaniel’s the only one kidnapping her friends.’

Malachi’s eyes light up. ‘Ah, Maggie…
Amazing
body. That sweet arse and those beautiful—’

The table screeches as Jason pushes it aside and flies at him. I should have been ready for it, but I was too busy thinking about going for him myself.

Jason might not be trained, but he’s still Rephaite. Malachi goes to swat him away, only to find Jason’s hands clamped around his throat, driving him into the wall.

‘Hey, HEY.’ Bryce is back at the counter again. ‘Take it outside.’

Malachi doesn’t fight back. He’s probably under orders not to.

‘Where is she?’ Jason says. ‘I
will
kill you if you hurt her.’

‘Take it outside or I’m calling the cops,’ Bryce says. A few customers have stood up, unsure.

Rafa holds up a palm to Bryce. ‘No need, I’ve got this.’

Simon grips the top of his chair, his fingers threatening to push through the flimsy wicker.

‘Calm down,’ I mouth at him.

‘Come on, boys,’ Rafa says, like this was a bit of fun gone too far. He grabs Malachi and Jason by the neck and squeezes until he gets Jason’s attention. ‘Not here,’ he says, and breaks them apart.

Simon and I follow as Rafa walks them through the cafe, and outside, down the street. He shoves Malachi and Jason into a laneway and follows them a few metres in, still keeping them separated.

I’m close behind, but Simon hangs back, keeping one eye on the street and the other on us.

‘What did you come here to tell Gabe?’ Rafa asks.

Malachi readjusts his shirt and stretches his neck. Jason tries to push past, but Rafa blocks him.

‘Think,’ Rafa says, and gestures to Simon at the end of the laneway. ‘You want to explain it if Malachi disappears in front of him?’

I duck under Rafa’s arm while he’s distracted, and he does nothing to stop me.

‘What do you want?’ I ask Malachi.

‘You made an offer to Daniel.’ He waits for me to nod that I understand. ‘He’s accepted your terms.’

My heart stutters.

‘That was before the cage.’

‘Wait,’ Rafa says. ‘What offer?’

I ignore him, my eyes locked on Malachi.

‘How else do you think the lovely Maggie is coming home?’ he says.

‘No more torture,’ I say. As if I’ll have any say in it once I’m back at the Sanctuary. ‘And I want Mags back here before tomorrow. I’m not going anywhere until I see she’s okay.’ My voice shakes.

Rafa is beside me.
‘What
offer?’

‘I’ll explain later.’ I’m not game to look at him.

Malachi nods. ‘I’ll be back before sunset to give you a place and time for the exchange. Be home.’ He looks past me. Simon must be out of sight because he shifts, right there, in the sunlight.

Rafa grabs me by the arm, rougher than he’s ever been with me. ‘What have you done?’

After work—after telling Simon that Malachi was negotiating to bring Maggie home, after a dozen lies and apologies and reassurances to Maggie’s mum—I find solace in the late afternoon sun.

I’m a few steps from the cafe when Bryce calls to me. I stop and wait for her. ‘Before you go,’ she says. ‘You know I’m not blaming you for what happened earlier.’

I nod. I just want to go home.

‘Gaby.’ She puts her arms around me. There are orange blossoms in her perfume. ‘I know how much your friendship means to Margaret. She was a little lost after her dad died. And then you came along…’ She squeezes me. ‘I’m so glad she’s got you looking out for her.’

I don’t trust myself to speak, so I stand there and take the hug.

‘But you need to make sure you keep company with the right people.’ She pulls back to look at me. ‘Okay?’

I nod.

‘Now, go and tell that girl of mine I expect her to work her own shift tomorrow.’

She gives me one last squeeze. I walk away.

The sky is vivid blue, the breeze so gentle it barely disturbs the leaves in the poincianas. How can my life be such a mess when the weather is so perfect?

There’s no sign of Rafa or Jason, so I head for home through the park. I think I’m safe from Malachi—at least for the moment.

Lorikeets shriek in the wattles, waiting for dusk. Somewhere a dog barks. It’s all perfectly normal. Except nothing is normal to me anymore, not even this park. Its landmarks have all changed. There’s the place I first saw Malachi. Here’s where Taya knocked me down. Which of these trees did she throw me against? I’d be able to find my blood if—

‘Tell me about this deal you’ve struck with Daniel.’

I flinch. Rafa is leaning against a tree at the edge of the path. The startled birds take off from the branches above him.

‘Don’t you walk anywhere?’

‘Not if I can help it.’

I keep moving, forcing him to follow.

‘We could get there quicker if we—’

‘No.’ I don’t look at him. ‘I’d like to enjoy this last small slice of normality.’

Rafa grabs my elbow. Not roughly, but it brings me to a standstill. ‘What have you agreed to?’

‘I offered myself as a trade for Mags. I told Daniel I’d stay at the Sanctuary. Let them train me.’

‘Please tell me you’re not naive enough to think anything has changed.’

‘No.’

‘Then why?’

‘I’m not planning on staying. I’ll go with them when I know Mags is safe, and then I’ll shift straight back.’

He raises his eyebrows. ‘How are you going to do that?’

‘I was hoping you’d teach me.’

He stares at me for a good five seconds. ‘You’re joking, right?’

‘Can’t you do it?’

‘Of course I can. With time. What you’re asking, it’s like…It’s like a ten-year-old asking to fly an F1-11.’

‘I’m like a ten-year-old now?’

‘Shit, Gabe.’ He runs his hands through his hair. ‘Okay, so maybe it’s not quite as bad as that, but it’s not something I can teach you in an hour.’

Without shifting, I have no plan. The cage flashes into my mind, the diamond-shaped wire, the blood-soaked sawdust.

‘There’s a hundred different things that can go wrong when you shift. For a start, the first few times you end up in places you don’t expect. You think you’re crossing the room and you end up in the middle of a herd of goats in Afghanistan.’

‘Then why haven’t you started showing me already? My voice rises. ‘You’ve never offered to teach me a thing.’

His voice flattens. ‘How was I to know you’d go all weak-kneed at the sight of Pretty Boy? If you’d listened to me—’

‘Listened to you about what?’ The anger comes easily. ‘You’ve kept me blundering around in the dark, and don’t act like you haven’t been enjoying yourself—’

‘I’m not the one who put you in a cage with a hellion.’

‘But you’ve been having fun at my expense.’

His eyes darken. ‘Yeah, it was a blast going back to the Sanctuary.’

‘That’s not what I—’

‘It doesn’t matter that I told Nathaniel I’d never set foot there again. It’s not like it cost me my pride or anything. And yeah, it was so
much fun
to find you torn up like that.’

‘Rafa…’ I rub my eyes. ‘That came out wrong.’

He stares past me.

‘I don’t want to go to the Sanctuary,’ I say quietly. ‘So what do I do?’

I watch the birds resettle in the cluster of trees across the path, flashes of red and green between the branches.

‘We need to know Nathaniel’s next move,’ Rafa says finally. ‘Let’s get back to your place and wait for Malachi.’

He doesn’t look at me, and I think he’s going to shift and leave me to walk home alone. But then he moves off on foot.

I fall into step with him. There’s a strained silence until we’re well clear of the park, only the noise of the birds and the wind. Finally, I can’t stand it any longer. ‘How do you think Jason learned to shift?’

We’re crossing a small footbridge. The creek beneath is racing after last night’s storm, rubbish caught at its edges.

‘No idea. But I’ve had enough of his ducking and weaving.’

‘Have you ever considered you might get more out of him if you’re actually pleasant, instead of bitching at him all the time?’

He looks at me. ‘You’ve got a short memory.’

‘Are you trying to be a smartarse?’

He almost smiles. ‘You know what I mean.’

‘Not really.’

‘It’s just, you’re so much like
you
sometimes. I keep forgetting you’re not, you know,
you.’

I can’t tell if it’s a compliment or not, but at least his mood is improving.

‘Yeah, well, I’m starting to wish I was.’

‘I don’t know.’ Rafa puts his hands in his pockets. ‘Maybe we shouldn’t be in such a hurry.’

Rafa goes through the gate first and scans the yard. Jason is probably inside, but I’m not ready to face a kitchen without Maggie again yet, so I sit on the top step. It’s the best spot to enjoy the view. Two freighters dot the horizon, so far out they look stationary. I lean back on my hands and watch a yacht motoring into the marina.

‘You and Jude have never been happy unless you’re near the sea,’ Rafa says, sitting down beside me. ‘He had this theory that your mother came from a family of fishermen.’

I frown. ‘Didn’t we know?’

‘Nathaniel said he found you somewhere around the Mediterranean. He never gave specifics.’

‘What about you?’

‘French Alps, apparently.’

‘You don’t believe him?’

‘It’s like everything Nathaniel says, there’s no way to know for sure. But it doesn’t matter where we come from, does it? Just who.’

A smattering of small clouds drifts across the sun and mutes the glare off the water.

‘You could’ve gone anywhere,’ Rafa says. ‘Why here?’

‘I don’t know. I wanted to get away from everything that reminded me of Jude.’ I untie the scarf around my neck. It’s hot and making me itch. I rub the bite mark. ‘And I still ended up at the beach.’

‘What else do you remember?’

‘Nothing. God, how many times do I have to say it?’

‘Since the accident. What do you remember about being in hospital?’

‘Oh.’

How do I dredge up those memories without the weight that comes with them?

‘Where were you?’ he presses.

‘Melbourne.’

‘Are you sure? How do you know that was real?’

‘The pain.’ My fingers go to the old scar under my hair. ‘Everything before is hazy, even the crash. But the hospital, and everything since—it’s clear.’

Every day of rehab. Every night, screaming for Jude.

‘Did anyone visit you?’

‘No.’

‘You told Jason a nurse broke the news about the funeral. It was a woman?’

I nod. ‘I can’t remember her face.’

‘There must be something.’

‘I remember her accent—Irish or Scottish, I think.’

A vague memory surfaces. The ward at night. The nurse
talking to me, telling me I’m doing well, that I’ll be all right. The dark room smelling of hospital and grief, her uniform faintly of menthol cigarettes.

‘That’s a start,’ Rafa says. ‘We’ll find her and see if she remembers who delivered the message. I’d like to know how you turned up at that hospital. Someone really went out of their way to hide you.’

‘Shifted, you mean?’

‘Yep.’

‘Then how come I was so busted up?’

‘Maybe you started off worse.’

I was in agony that first month in hospital. I find it hard to believe it could have been worse.

‘So, that’s the plan,’ Rafa says. ‘We go to Melbourne.’

‘Maggie first.’ I hug my knees. ‘Can I see those photos again?’

He gives me a blank look.

‘Of Jude. My phone’s in Italy, remember? I didn’t get the chance to collect it when I checked out of the Sanctuary.’

‘Right.’ He hands his phone over.

I close my eyes, feeling the weight of it in my palm. And then I look at my brother for the first time with open eyes.

It should be different, knowing this Jude is more real than the one in my memories, but it isn’t. I linger on the last image, where Jude is staring out at the water.

‘Is that Patmos?’

‘Yeah,’ Rafa says. ‘We went back around the time you two started talking again. I’ve looked at that shot a thousand times.’ He leans closer. ‘He’s thinking about you there.’

I touch the screen. ‘Not me. Gabe.’

‘Same thing.’

‘Is it?’

Rafa’s eyes roam my face: my hair, my eyes, my lips. He doesn’t answer.

A throat clears behind us.

‘Ah, Goldilocks,’ Rafa says, standing up. ‘Got the coffee machine on in there?’