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Authors: Juliet Marillier

BOOK: Shadowfell
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CHAPTER ELEVEN

W
E WERE
assembled inside Howler, all of us in a circle around a little glowing campfire. I was exhausted and sick at heart. I wanted to give in to my sadness, to curl up and grieve for the good friend I had thought I had, a rare, strong friend, who all the time had been my enemy. I stiffened my spine and ordered myself to set all that aside. Time was short and there were too many questions still unanswered.

‘Your help has been most welcome today,’ I said, framing my speech with some care. ‘I notice how you are all working together, even though you have some disagreements within your band. From what I’ve been told, that’s unusual for your kind. I’m hoping that means some of you do believe I am a Caller, or at least that I can be one, given the right teaching. I would like to know more about the use of such a gift. I know the old story of Corcan and the war between the Sea Folk and the brollachans. Corcan went off and undertook some training before he came back as a leader. Who would have taught him? I understand there may be some . . . special qualities . . . a person must demonstrate before starting that training.’

This provoked a furious muttering around the circle, of which I could make out little except the familiar disputes about how many out of seven I might have shown already.

‘You mean the virtues,’ Silver said in her cool voice. ‘They’ll come out in you or they won’t. There’s no way to prepare save following your own path. What troubles me is that you were so ready to trust the warrior when the fellow reeks of the king’s evil. Would a Caller be so gullible, I ask myself.’

I felt my face flush. ‘She might,’ I said, ‘if she didn’t know much about where she was going or how to get there, or about how to use her canny gift. From the start, Flint seemed to be helping me. The night we first met, he saved me from the Cull. When I thought he would hand me over to the king, he brought me up the valley to a place of hiding instead. When I was sick he looked after me. I don’t understand why he would do all that unless he was a friend. He could have sent me to the king that first night at Darkwater.’

‘No doubt he has his own ways, Enforcer ways, dark and devious. And yet you defend him. The man wears the king’s badge. He does the king’s will. Are you so much under his spell that I must repeat for you what we saw this morning?’

‘No,’ I said. The truth about Flint could not be as simple as the Good Folk seemed to think, but there was no doubt today’s betrayal made him my enemy again. ‘I believe you.’

‘As for
why
,’ said Daw, who had come in from his spying mission to report that the Enforcers had camped for the night down in the valley, ‘on that matter, we cannot agree amongst ourselves. Silver believes the fellow took you somewhere safe to fatten you up, to prepare his special gift for the king. I’m of the opinion that perhaps he wanted you to lead him somewhere. Some place where there are folk the king has a particular dislike for.’

‘Flint knew about that place already,’ I told them. ‘He said he knew where I was going and could help me get there.’

‘He’s a king’s man,’ Silver said. ‘He lied. What if I told you your black-cloaked friend has been sending messages up and down the valley, using a lad to carry them? Scrolls all tied up neat with cord and sealed with hot wax, the kind a man might despatch to his leader? According to our spies, one of those went off not long after the two of you reached what you call your place of hiding. I could guess what might have been in that message, and for whose eyes it might have been destined.’

One blow after another. In my dream, Flint had been seated at our table, labouring with pen and parchment. Perhaps I had not dreamed it but seen it, half-waking. I imagined what might have been in that missive.
There’s a change of plan; the girl is sick. When she is sufficiently recovered to travel, I will convey her to you.
It still didn’t explain why he had brought me so far north.

‘Can you tell me, at least, whether Corcan had to show these virtues you mentioned? I realise you can’t tell me what they are. Sage gave me the same reply when I asked her.’

‘Oh, Sage,’ said Silver with a gesture of contempt. ‘She’d tell you whatever suited her purpose. But she was right on that score. A Caller must have all the virtues before he can begin to learn his craft. As to what those virtues are, if I told you, it would make little sense to you. They’re in an old rhyme.’

‘Aye,’ said Gentle, ‘a wee versie a mother might sing to her bairn at bedtime.’

‘It’s not so much the words themselves that make sense,’ said Daw. ‘It’s the sense a body chooses to make of them.’

‘Seven virtues, yes?’

More muttering and whispering; more sidelong glances, mostly in Silver’s direction. Nobody was prepared to speak out. Perhaps she had already reprimanded them for letting me hear what should have been kept secret.

‘Silver,’ I ventured, ‘what would happen if I tried Calling before I had all the virtues? Before I’d been properly taught?’

A silence. Then Silver said, ‘It would be like giving an infant a sharp knife to play with.’

‘Worse,’ said Gentle. ‘You might harm not only yourself, but scores of others along wi’ you.’

‘When I called the stanie mon, it did not do any harm that I know of.’

‘You were lucky,’ said Silver, her tone severe. ‘Don’t think to try it again. You’ve no inkling of its perils. Better that you had perished along with your family than that you use this gift unwisely.’

That silenced me. The weight of my losses, the old ones, the newer ones, settled over me, a cloak of sadness.

After some time, Gentle spoke quietly. ‘You havena done so badly, lassie. You’re on your way, and you have a good heart. And from what we heard, if you hadna used your gift that day wi’ the stanie mon, you wouldna be sitting here wi’ us now.’ Silver made to interrupt, but the little woman lifted her chin, defiance in her eyes. ‘You’ll find your true path forward, dinna doubt that.’ She stared at Silver, and Silver stared back, displeasure written all over her graceful form.

I did not want to be the cause of dissent within their band. Bonds of friendship were rare enough. ‘I am hoping it won’t take too long,’ I said quietly. ‘Where we are headed, I’ll be much more useful if I’ve made a start on a Caller’s training, at least.’

There was an odd silence, as if I had said something troubling.

‘What is it? What’s wrong?’

Silver cleared her throat. ‘You say,
where
we
are headed
.’ Her voice had lost its combative note. She sounded almost apologetic. ‘We can come no further with you.’

‘But . . .’ I faltered, remembering the long cold nights, the lonely plodding days of my journey up the lochs. ‘I had thought . . .’ Once, twice, three times I had bid the Good Folk leave me to go on by myself so I would not lead them into danger. Now I wanted their company so badly it hurt.

‘We canna go on wi’ ye, lassie,’ said Gentle. ‘None of us here,’ she waved a hand around the motley circle of beings, ‘can pass the place ye call Lone Tarn. That’s the far edge of our Watch.’

‘Your Watch?’

‘Aye,’ said Gentle. ‘Past Lone Tarn, it’s the Watch o’ the North. We canna go up there, nor talk to those that bide there. It’s forbidden under the Old Laws.’

I must have looked blank, for several voices chimed in with explanations, all speaking at once.

Silver raised a hand for quiet. ‘The Laws of the Guardians, Neryn,’ she said, her tone telling me this was a matter of profound solemnity. ‘They divided up the land of Alban into four Watches. When the Guardians walked among us, in the old days, each dwelt in one Watch, and those who lived there looked to their Guardian for wisdom and guidance and the settlement of disputes. Now the Big Ones are gone away, but still we keep their laws. We cannot travel outside the borders of our own Watch. It’s forbidden.’

‘Tell me more about where they’ve gone,’ I said as I struggled to accept that tomorrow I would be on the road alone once again. ‘The Big Ones.’

‘’Twas your king, Keldec, that drove them away,’ said Gentle. ‘The Guardians came to this land long, long ago. They ruled over all of our kind, from sprites to brollachans to sea beasts, and for the most part their rule was wise. Then humankind came to Alban. Man wasna always cruel. But he could be thoughtless, heedless. There have been bright times and darker ones. This king, Keldec, is darkest of them all. He came wi’ cold iron and fell magic, and closed his fist around the heart of the old land.’ A shuddering sigh arose from the listening circle. ‘The Guardians went deep,’ Gentle said, ‘and the smaller folk, our folk, were set adrift. But still some of the old order held strong. The last of the Old Laws remained, and that was the rules of the Watch. We bide within our own Watch. We guard its borders; we tend to its heart and spirit; we keep the lore.’

‘I see. Are there Good Folk across the border? Folk that are known to you?’

‘Maybe there’s folk there will help you,’ Daw said. ‘But we cannot be sure of it. And there’s no sending a message to seek their aid.’

‘But you can fly, can’t you? Or send a bird to be your eyes? Couldn’t you –’

‘There’s no flying over or burrowing under or using magic to pass across,’ Gentle said. ‘The law’s the law. It’s akin to the old customs and the old songs. When you’re in the dark, you need a lamp. The law is our lamp.’

‘I understand,’ I said, my heart heavy. I had travelled alone before. Why did this feel so hard? ‘I can do it. But I’m weaker than I should be after my illness. I wonder if . . . Gentle, could you give me some of the cordial to take with me? I would use it sparingly. With that, I’d have some hope of reaching the place.’ Even now I could not bring myself to speak the name Shadowfell.

Gentle shook her head. ‘No, lassie, I canna. ’Tis a powerful brew, and effective, aye. But the more ye have, the more ye crave. Already I give ye three cups, and ye can feel that need in ye, the wanting, for the brew gives a rare feeling of wellbeing, a sense that all’s well and ye can climb mountains. A lassie could die for the wanting of more. It’s best ye move on without such help, for if ye have more it’ll be no boon, but bane.’

There was no answer for that. I felt the craving in my stomach, not so desperate that it would drive me to beg or steal, but a warning of what might have happened if these folk had not been so wise. I could not blame Gentle for having offered it, for without the brew I might not have reached this place of safety. Tonight I would sleep in shelter. I would lie down among friends. Tomorrow lay before me, full of shadows.

I don’t think I can do it
, was in my mind, but I did not say it aloud. It came to me that courage might be my only weapon once the Good Folk left me, and I could not afford to throw it away.

‘There is another answer to this.’ The voice was that of a creature who had thus far been silent, a little wizened thing with a face like a dried-up turnip, and dark liquid eyes. It hobbled forward, gnarled hands on a diminutive ash stick. Its body might have been of any shape; it was shrouded in a faded patchwork garment that swept down to the floor. Its hair was white as swansdown and stood up in tufts. ‘There is another path.’

Silver subjected the being to a withering stare, which it met without flinching. After some time, the sylph sighed and nodded. ‘Tell her, then,’ she said. ‘Neryn, this is Blackthorn. He is the elder of our clan. We have debated long over you.
If
you are a Caller, and
if
you can be trained adequately, then you could wield considerable power. You understand, I think, that while that power could be used to do great good, it could equally be the source of great evil.’ She did not need to add that this was why she doubted me so; my wary trust in Flint must seem to her an indication that I would easily slip down the latter path. ‘Blackthorn will present you with another choice. A safer choice.’

What could be safe in Keldec’s Alban? ‘Very well,’ I said. ‘Please tell me,’ and I inclined my head courteously to the tiny being, showing the respect due to an elder.

‘When it became plain this king meant to crush every drop of goodness out of Alban and its people,’ Blackthorn said, his voice remarkably deep and resonant for such a small being, ‘the Big Ones went away. Away down, away in. And so did many of our people, the great and the small, the powerful and the weak. Many are in retreat. Only a few of us choose to stay here in the sad and sorry place that Alban has become under this king of yours.’

‘Not mine,’ I protested.

‘Keldec is of humankind, as are you. But he is no Caller, and though he is a man of power, a power he wields with cruel force, there are some weapons he does not yet have at his disposal. You are one of those weapons, Neryn, or you will be if you follow the path of a Caller. That makes you valuable. And it makes you dangerous. As Silver said, we have spoken of this, seeing your bond with this Enforcer. Some of us think you should not go on.’

I sat bolt upright, shocked. ‘I must go on!’ I exclaimed. ‘I can’t give this up! That would be letting Keldec have his way – it would be giving up the fight for Alban!’

‘Bide awhile, lassie,’ Gentle said. ‘Hear Blackthorn out.’

I nodded, though my heart was cold. The Good Folk did not believe in my mission. Even they did not think I could do it.

‘We can offer you a place to go, a safe place deep down among our kind,’ Blackthorn said. ‘There you can live with no fear of this king, for it is beyond his reach, hidden by ancient magic. It is a good place, Neryn. There are no other human men or women there, but you would have our kind as companions, and I do not think that would be unwelcome to you. You could live out your life safe in the knowledge that Keldec could never use you as a tool for ill. I see doubt in your face, and I understand that. Know that what we offer is a great privilege. Perhaps once in five hundred of your years is a man or woman given a place amongst us. Choose this and you may not keep Alban safe, but
you
would be safe, Neryn, and you could not be the instrument of Alban’s final downfall.’

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