Shadowed: Brides of the Kindred book 8 (39 page)

“I’m pleased and honored to serve you,” he said gravely. “And I swear by the Goddess to do my utmost to unite our people as one—clan to clan and generation to generation.”

Another cheer went up and some of the younger men who had professed love for their
amallas
surged forward to lift Saber on their shoulders. Clearly his position as the future OverChief was no longer in question. He would lead his people and lead them well, Nina had no doubt.

And, as she watched the tide of the meeting turn, she began to feel something growing inside her—an emotion she’d been suppressing fiercely for a long time.
Hope,
she thought, putting a hand to her heart.
There’s hope now. If the younger generation supports Saber and puts him in power, Reddix will be free of his obligation. He won’t have to stay here and marry that awful Tilla. He can come with me, or I can stay with him. We can be together!

Excitement bubbled up inside her, and she looked for Reddix, hoping to see the same joy she felt on his face. But she couldn’t find him. Where had he gone?

She felt a twinge of unease, but just then Lissa came down to join her. The meeting had broken down into groups of people talking and gesturing, but it was clear that the younger generation was prevailing. Saber was smiling and laughing with some of the younger chiefs and the older ones were beginning, hesitantly, to speak to him as well.

“This is good, right?” Nina asked Lissa when she squeezed her hand.

“Very good.” The Kindred girl’s eyes were bright with excitement. “Amazing! Saber and I had no idea. And to think we almost didn’t come back.”

“I’m so glad you did,” Nina smiled at her. “This means Reddix is free—right? I mean, he doesn’t have to be the OverChief?”

“It doesn’t look like it.” Lissa beamed. “Come on, let’s go talk to him—it must be a huge weight off his shoulders!”

“Where is he? I don’t see him anywhere,” Nina nearly had to shout, to be heard above the crowd.

“Oh, he’s waiting for us by the shuttle. We have to go back to the Mother Ship tonight.” Lissa pulled her through the crowd and out of the huge, spherical auditorium as she spoke. “Whew,” she said, taking a deep breath when they got outside into the cool twilight. “That’s better—it’s so hot and crowded in there.”

“It really was,” Nina agreed. “Um, did you say you were going back to the Mother Ship tonight?”

“Yes, now that things are looking more settled here, I have to get right back for my friend Kat’s joining ceremony which I’m
supposed
to be planning and organizing. I assume you and Reddix will be coming back as well?”

“I think so,” Nina said, smiling. “We, uh, agreed last night that if things somehow worked out we would stay together.”

Lissa nodded. “I had a feeling about the two of you. I wasn’t sure it was a good idea at first, but, well, I’ve seen the way he looks at you. I think you’re good for him, Nina.”

“Thank you.” Nina felt her cheeks get warm at the compliment. “I hope so. I know he’s had a hard life but maybe—oh, there he is now.”

They had been walking through the small wooded area behind the auditorium. Now the trees had opened up to form a small landing area. In it, a shuttle was parked, obviously primed and ready for takeoff. Standing in front of it, arms crossed over his broad chest, was Reddix.

“Reddix!” Nina ran to him and put her arms around his neck, but he made no move to return her embrace.

“Shuttle’s ready. You two should get going.”

“We…two?” Nina looked at him uncertainly. “What are you saying? Aren’t you coming with us? Who’s going to fly the ship?”

Reddix shook his head. “There’s a pilot already at the controls. I’m staying here.”

“To help Saber get everything in order?” Nina asked. “Do you want me to stay too? Or come back later?”

He frowned. “No, you’re going back to Earth, and I’m staying here on Tarsia. Permanently.”

“I…I don’t understand.” Nina released her hold on him and stepped back a pace. “What are you saying, Reddix? I thought we agreed that if things worked out for Saber to be the OverChief you and I would…would stay together. That we’d build a life together.”

“That was before.” He looked down at the ground, scowling.

“Before what?” Nina was beginning to feel sick at her stomach. “Before you remember you were engaged to Tilla?”

“Tilla has nothing to do with this,” he growled, glancing at her briefly. “I told you I don’t want anything to do with her.”

“But you don’t want anything to do with me either? Is that it?” Nina shook her head, feeling like she was in the middle of a bad dream. “Reddix, look at me! What is this all about?”

“It’s about you leaving, and me staying here. Is that so hard to understand, sweetheart?” he snapped sarcastically.

“But…I…” Nina shook her head. “I don’t get it. I thought…thought we cared about each other. I thought we wanted a life together.”

He laughed harshly. “Looks like you thought wrong.”

Nina stared at him. A strange, high buzzing had started in her head. A feeling of unreality so strong she kept expecting to wake up at any minute consumed her. This couldn’t be happening, could it? He had never actually said the words,
I love you—
neither of them had. But it was understood, wasn’t it? He loved her, didn’t he? She could tell it by the way he had begged her forgiveness for Tilla, the way he had come hunting for her in the swamp?

The swamp,
she thought suddenly.
The swamp witch has something to do with this!

“What did she do to you?” she asked, taking a step toward him. “The witch—what did she do? Did that potion she give you make you feel different…strange? You haven’t been the same since you took it.” She took his hand in both of hers. “Please, Reddix, tell me.”

“The only thing different about me is that my RTS is cured now. So I don’t need an emotional damper hanging around all the time
touching
me.” He yanked his hand out of hers and took a step back.

“So that’s it? That’s really it?” Realization began to dawn on her. “Of course, that’s it,” she murmured, answering her own question. “You don’t need me anymore. You’re free of your RTS, and now you want to get rid of me too.”

“
Now
you begin to understand,” he growled.

“I understand, all right.” She crossed her arms tightly over her chest and took another step back from him. “I understand that you’ve been using me, right from the start. All you ever wanted was a cure for your RTS—that was why you kidnapped me in the first place, right? And then you probably set things up with the witch so that she would come and get me and take me back to her hut.”

“Now wait a minute,” he protested. “I never—”

“She told me,” Nina went on, overriding him. “She told me that having a willing victim for the sacrifice would make her potion more effective. Is that why you made me care about you, Reddix? Is that why you made…” She choked but forced herself to go on. “Made me love you? So I’d be willing?”

“Nina…” The hardness in his silver eyes had melted, and the look on his handsome, scarred face was desperately unhappy, but Nina was too upset to see it.

“No.” She turned away from him and headed toward the waiting shuttle. “I don’t want to hear anymore. I just want to go. I want to get out of here and never see you again.”

“Good—then go.” His deep voice went harsh again. “It’s better this way. Better for both of us. I’m no good for you, Nina.”

She turned to face him once more. “It looks to me like you’re not good for anyone but yourself. Goodbye, Reddix. Have…have a nice life.”

She wanted to leave without breaking down, didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry. But on the last word, the tears burst forth, and she couldn’t stop a sob from escaping before she turned her back on him and ran into the shuttle.

* * * * *

Reddix stared after her, feeling like she’d ripped his heart out and was taking it with her. But what could he do? He was letting her go—giving her freedom for her own good. He could have let her down easier, tried to explain—but that would never work. He knew Nina, knew how persistent and tenacious she could be. She would never give up on them if she thought he still cared for her. That he still loved her. So he had to lie, had to send her away thinking he’d used her. And if she hated him for it, well, that was better than ruining her life—wasn’t it?
Wasn’t it?

Reddix didn’t have an answer.

Lissa, who had been hanging back to give them some privacy, suddenly came forward. Before he could say a word, she slapped him—hard, across the face.

“You ought to be ashamed of yourself,” she said, her green eyes flashing. “I know
I
am ashamed of you. I just stood up in front of all our clans and said how much the men of the Touch Kindred have grown. I spoke about how kind and brave and honorable they are. But you—you are
none
of those things.”

“You don’t have to tell me that,” Reddix growled. “I already fucking know it.”

“Then you should also know this.” Lissa poked a finger at him. “You just threw away the best thing to ever happen to you in your whole miserable existence. I hope you regret it every day for the rest of your life.”

“I will.” Reddix rubbed his cheek, which still stung from her slap. “Believe me, I already do.”

“Then why are you doing this?” Lissa looked at him with honest bewilderment. “I can tell you care for Nina—why are you pushing her away?”

He frowned at her. “That’s none of your Goddess damned business. Let’s just say it’s for her own good and leave it at that.”

Lissa shook her head. “I guess you have your reasons, but whatever they are, they’re not good enough for doing what you just did to Nina.” She gave him a last disgusted look. “Good-bye, Reddix.”

With that, she marched up the short gangplank and into the waiting shuttle. The plank drew up, and the door closed behind her with a metallic
hiss-bang.
The pilot—who had only been waiting for the signal to go—had the shuttle in the air in an instant.

Reddix stood and watched as it rose swiftly over the tops of the trees, moving up and up until it was nothing but a shimmering dot in the night sky. Then it blinked once and disappeared completely.

Nina was gone.

Chapter Thirty-three

“Are you sure you don’t mind helping?” Lissa asked anxiously for what had to be the tenth time.

Nina tried to smile. “I’m positive. I don’t feel ready to go home yet, and I don’t want to just hang around this big old ship doing nothing. Besides, your friend Kat seems like she could use the extra hands.”

“Poor Kat.” Lissa sighed. “She’s the one who usually plans everyone else’s events. I think it’s just about killing her to give in and let someone else plan her joining ceremony, but she’s been having a rough time with her pregnancy lately—nothing serious, just a lot of morning sickness and nausea.”

“She’s pregnant?” Nina was surprised. “I couldn’t tell—she’s certainly not showing.”

“And that’s how we want to keep it,” the red-headed Kat came bustling up with a smile on her face. “At least until I tie the knot with my guys officially. Then I can wait a week or two and tell my grandmother I’m ‘in the family way,’ as she so delicately puts it. Until then, I’m not preggers—or at least I’m not admitting to it.”

“Got it,” Nina said, smiling. “So we’ll keep the baby talk under wraps.”

“Yes, please.” Kat fanned herself with the wedding program she was holding. “It was bad enough explaining to her that I have three way nookie. If she finds out I’ve got a bun in the oven on top of it all…” She shook her head. “Well, let’s just say it wouldn’t be good.”

“I think we can keep things quiet,” Lissa said. “But you should go lie down, Kat. It’s only a few hours until the ceremony—you need to rest.”

“I can rest when I’m dead,” the red-head said grimly. “Right now, I need to make sure everything is perfect before we get started.”

“Well, let’s see,” Lissa ticked off points on her fingers. “The tables are all set for the reception. There’s a program in every chair. The sacred grove is decorated, and I’ve posted Baird to be sure everyone removes their shoes and boots before they go in to the ceremony—which I am fully ready to perform.”

Nina looked at her in surprise. “You’re the one doing the ceremony?”

Lissa nodded. “I’m still technically a priestess of the Goddess so I was happy to agree when Kat asked me.”

“Thank you, doll.” Kat smiled at her gratefully. “I can’t wait to hear you tell the guys they can kiss the bride.”

“It will be my pleasure,” Lissa assured her friend.

“We’re almost done with the favors and place settings too,” Nina offered, holding up a small lace baggie filled with sugar almonds and a tiny white wire picture frame with a name written in calligraphy in the center.

“Is that your handwriting?” Kat looked at the tiny place setting in wonder. “Wow, that’s beautiful Nina. Thank you.”

“You’re more than welcome.” Nina smiled at her. “I’m just grateful to have something to do.”

“She means to take her mind off Reddix,” Lissa explained. She frowned. “When I think of how he acted…I’ve already told Saber he’s not invited to our joining ceremony, whenever we finally have one.”

“Thanks, Lissa.” Nina lifted her chin. It had only been a few days, and her heart still felt like it had been shattered into a million pieces, but she was determined to move on. “But you don’t have to do that. I’m not going to let him bother me.”

“Brave girl,” Kat said admiringly. “Well, if you can really get over him that easily, it wasn’t meant to be in the first place.”

“Exactly what I’ve been telling her,” Lissa said. “I just—”

“Oh, look out—disaster at five o clock,” Kat hissed, turning her back.

“What?” Nina looked around uncertainly. “What are you talking about?”

“It’s the new girl—Maggie Jordan. She’s up here on the ship because she’s going to participate on the first wholly integrated Human/Kindred exploration. Which basically means some of the warriors are checking out a new planet and letting some humans tag along.”