Shadow Seed 1: The Misbegotten (47 page)

…And, I was going to kill them all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~♦~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Summer – 2018)

A Desperate Intrusion

[He plunges into year’s agone like a stone in a river.]

I couldn’t stop thinking about Jacob lying on the ground, riddled with bullets; his brains splashed this way and that, his limbs akimbo, his eyes vacant.  I could imagine them, glossed over with huge irises, no longer holding the spark, the countless annoying aspects that – together – comprised him.

After Jacob’s call, I had run from the kitchen as fast I could manage.  I bolted for the Loft, trying not to alert my parents anything was amiss.  I hadn’t even cleared the first landing when the tears had come, blurring my vision.  I tried to negotiate the stairs, but stumbled, cracking my knee on the edge of a stair.  I felt no pain.  I hadn’t heard her come up behind me.  But, when I tripped, Katie’s small, delicate hands had been there to steady me.  Despite my utter despondency, I was never more grateful for her than in that moment.  Without so much as a word, she had been there.  She was a strong, sturdy rock; I could lean into for support.  She held me up, as I cried as quietly as I could, tripping up to my bedroom - my sanctuary.

I must’ve cried for some time, because there was little daylight outside my windows when I had finally picked up head from Katie’s warm lap.  I hadn’t been aware my brother and my step-sister had come up sometime after Katie and me.  They had been talking with my cousin over my grieving form, wondering what was going on, why I was so distraught.  I believe Katie had filled them in on everything, because when I opened my bloodshot eyes and gazed into Flavia’s, then Johan’s there was no curiosity or questions written about either of their faces.  There was only sympathy and mourning.  Their own eyes pink with the aftermath of tears. Flavia’s long, slender nose was still rosy at its end, always a telltale sign that she had been crying.

I was surprised to see, she had sat on the bed as well.  She had draped my legs across hers at the knee.  Her long, thin fingers rubbed my calves in a sisterly, but very soothing fashion.  Flavia hardly ever touched me, not that she was repelled or grossed out by me.  She was merely not a touchy-feely person.

Johan had sat upon the floor, one knee up.  His other leg angled through the V-shaped space, his left hand supporting his leaning form.  His large, light brown eyes looked into mine.  His thick brow was knitted in the middle, wary and slightly befuddled.  Times of intense emotion always made Johan squirm.  He wasn’t built to show what he felt, and usually kept his innermost thoughts to himself.

I had given him a horrific version of a half-hearted smile, laying my head, once more, into Katie’s lap.  I was so relieved to have her there in my room.  I couldn’t imagine what I would have done if she hadn’t been there...  Back then, I was a little more dramatic when it came to people I loved getting hurt or dying.  I was young and unschooled in the harshness of life, how it could bite you in the ass without notice.  Therefore, the thought of not having Jacob around - no matter how much of a pain in the sphincter he had been - was close to unbearable for me.

I had closed my eyes.  I must’ve fallen asleep, because it was entirely dark outside when I opened them again.  The TV was turned on only very low.  Both of my siblings had vanished.  There was a pillow under my head now.

Katie had changed into a set of cute, silky pajamas with a spaghetti-strapped top and loose fitting shorts covered in pink and red hearts.  I had sat up.  The angle of the light altered and I could tell she wore nothing else underneath her night clothes.  She was sitting against the head board, her eyes upon the TV, her legs crossed, her narrow feet bare.  Even though I felt like I had been hit over the head with a sledgehammer, I stretched toward her and kissed her gently on one of her big toes.

She giggled, but kept her foot there.

“I love you, Katie,” I had murmured, kissing her toe once again for good measure.

“I love you too, Estefan.”

Being as easily distracted by a beautiful pair of feet, I had to force myself from them.  Otherwise, I would’ve lost myself in her toes and arches and heels.  I would’ve wanted to lick them and bite them and taste every bit of flesh.

Instead, I got up and I walked over to my dresser and stripped down, taking everything off, no longer worried about propriety when it came to my cousin.  We were lovers now.

“I love your ass too,” said Katie from the bed, unmoving, though I could feel her gaze boring into my nether cheeks.

I had smiled into my drawer and pulled out a pair of loose fitting cotton shorts with an elastic waist band and a thin knot cord for tightening the fit, should I choose to do so.  I did not.  I had wanted to be as comfortable as possible.  I
put them on, hearing Katie protest playfully and scooped up my clothes and put them in the hamper.  I walked back over to the bed and settled beside Katie.  I wanted nothing more than to kiss her, but she spoke, forestalling me.

“I hope you don’t mind, but Ramona and I have been texting through your cell.”  She didn’t sound all that remorseful.  She smirked instead.

My eyebrows had gone up of their own accord.  “Oh yeah, what about?” I asked.  My voice was raw and strained from my lengthy lamentation.

“About you, of course,” she said.  Her tone was infused with saccharine.

“Trading notes,” I remarked offhandedly.

“We already did
that
, Estefan – days ago,” she reposted, tilting her head to one side as if she were reliving the event.  Then, abruptly, “Ramona is going to sneak out and come over tonight.”

My wry grin dissolved when I stared into her eyes that had suddenly gone serious.  “What time?”

“She said she’d be here around midnight,” Katie answered.  “She was worried about you and texted she was coming over no matter what her mother did to prevent her.  She wants to be with you tonight, keep you safe…”  Her expression warmed.  “She was worried.”

I had let that sink in, then reached over and grabbed ahold of her hand.  “What about you?”

She gave my palm a squeeze.  “Oh, I’ll be taking care of you too, about that she was adamant.”

“Really?”  I felt my eyebrows rise at that.  I knew Ramona had agreed to our ménage à trois, but to see proof of her decision, and so quickly, was something else entirely, especially since she had battled with bouts of jealousy earlier in the day.

Katie had nodded slowly, in an exaggerated fashion.

“So, we’re just supposed to wait, then?” I asked still unable to get my head completely around the notion that in a few hours I might be sleeping with not one, but two girls! 
And you know, we weren’t going to be doing any sleeping…

…Except, for some reason that reminded me of Jacob.  My mood darkened in an instant.  He had always been the one to say, between the two of us, he would be the first to have two girls sucking on his dick at the same time.  He had said it so many times, I had tuned it out of my mind.  It was like him calling me a
“Deeeeck!”
all the damned time.  I just ignored it.

Until now. 
Oh, how I’d have loved for him to say it to me one more time, so I could laugh and call him an asshole for old time’s sake.

I had sat back against the headboard of the bed and just watched the images on the TV screen before me, not really following what sort of show was on.  I was somewhere between cognizance and oblivion.  After a while, Katie’s head came to rest upon my shoulder.  I let my head rest atop hers, watching the LCD, our hands still clasped in between us.

She had stirred minutes later when my tears began to drip onto the top of her head.  She reached around to touch my wet cheeks, coming to gaze at me.  When her suspicions were confirmed – I was crying and she came forward.  I sat up just enough, so her arms could encircle me, her head against my collarbone as she hugged me tightly.

“It’ll be ok, Effy, I promise,” she stated sounding many years
older than her sixteen.

“I don’t know…,” was all I could think to say.

“You should eat,” she prompted.  She wanted to be practical over broken-hearted, steer her mind – and mine – from thoughts of Jacob’s death.  “You haven’t eaten in a day, my love.”

I wondered at the emptiness in my stomach, thinking it a by-product of my grief.  With definition, I realized I was hungry.  My belly wasn’t just in knots, because of anguish, it required sustenance.

“Are there leftovers from dinner?” I asked.

Katie shook her head, but smiled sweetly.  “Your parents bought Jack-in-the-Box
¹.”

“Oh.”

“Your Double Ultimate Bacon Cheeseburger and Curly Fries² are right over there.”  She pointed at my desk.

Sure enough, there was a bag with the Jack-in-the-Box logo upon it with a medium-sized drink standing next to it.

My stomach growled.  I was famished.  I scurried toward my meal and began eating, uncaring if the food was cold and the Sprite³ was a little watered down.  She was right.  I hadn’t eaten anything in almost a day.

I was halfway through my burger when a thought came to mind.  “What did you guys tell my parents?  What did you say was wrong with me?”

“We said we caught the same cold you had come down with the day before yesterday.  They believed it, because Johan and Flavia looked just as worn out as you.  We just hid the tears as best we could.  I assume they took our red and puffy faces to mean we were congested.  It worked,” she added with a shrug.  “You mom bought take out and that was that.”

“Wow, ok.  And no one said anything about Jacob, right?” I asked.  I tried to be pointed, direct, but it came out more like a squeal.  I choked-up in the middle of the sentence.

“Not a word, Estefan.  Not a word.”

Good
, there would be time enough for that later…

*****

It was hours later, when my eyes caught movement coming from the window nearest my desk.  The light of the television was the only luminance in the room.  Still, it was light enough to reveal Ramona’s feminine shape as she climbed through the portal with her backpack slung over one of her shoulders.  She expertly placed one foot on the edge of my desk, balancing herself between it and the sill.  Then, she hopped to the floor, the moment her body was completely inside the Loft.  It would have been obvious to anyone watching, she had done this maneuver many times.  Truth be told, she had (and so had a few other of my past girlfriends).  It had become common practice these past few months that Ramona spent the night with me, at least two days out of the week.  Sometimes she came much more than that.  I wasn’t lying before when I said Ramona was a fuck machine.  She was, and always has been, down for long nightly sessions.  She was good at it too.

She was wearing a pair of thin-
soled, black sneakers, without socks.  Black nylon tights and a black, purple and gold
Lakers
sweatshirt, a few sizes too big for her.  Her hair was pulled back in a bun.  Her face was flushed from having climbed the tree that grew alongside the side of the house.  She had scampered up its’ many branches to the roof of the second floor.  Since the roof itself extended out beyond the walls if the Loft, all she had to do was tip-toe from the tree to one of my windows, and simply climb through.

“Hi!” she said cheerfully.  She must’ve seen something in my face, because she hastily put her backpack on the desk and rushed toward me with her hands outstretched.

Katie shook herself awake still lying on top of me, wiping at the drool that had run down the side of her mouth, setting up lazily.

I reached for Ramona.  We embraced for a long time, both of us crying quietly in each other’s arms as Katie, still somewhat groggy, draped both of her arms about us, her head upon my back.

We remained still, etched in stone, minutes passed like seconds.

“What can we do to cheer you up, Eff?”  It was Katie’s voice, only plaintive and small as if she were afrai
d to impugn upon my thoughts.  Still, her concerned was enough to overcome any hesitation.

I sat there on my bed, staring over my girlfriend’s shoulder at the flickering screen of the LCD TV mounted to the wall opposite my bed.  I wasn’t really seeing it.  My mind was occupied with desolate thoughts of loss.  Someone very
close to me had died - the very first.  I hardly heard her.

“We will do whatever it takes,” replied Ramona for me.   Her voice was just a quiet as Katie’s, though I really wasn’t listening to her either.

Katie released us.  Ramona and I broke our embrace as well.

“Why don’t we get ready for bed then,” prompted Katie, scooting across the bed remote in hand and turned off the TV.  She came around the bed and Ramona, holding out her hands to me.  “Come on, Eff, let’s go brush our teeth and freshen up.”

I let her stand me up, on auto-pilot, and followed her to the bathroom.  Ramona stroked my cheek as I passed by her.

We were washing our faces when Ramona came in toothbrush in hand, wearing an oversized, pale blue t-shirt and quite possibly nothing else.  Her bare feet padded across the cool linoleum.  She had feet with short, but precisely formed toes that were always well tended.   Her nails were painted bright red that night
, as if she had done them before coming over.