Shadow Queen (4 page)

“You seem to have a lot to say about that subject all the time,” I tried my luck with returning with my only ammunition.  “Too bad I can’t read your mind you have closed off more than open.”

“It’s a good thing you can’t.”  His thumb was racing across my jawline back and forth while his staggered breathing patterned a spell really hot air and increased and warmed my cheek.

“Stace...are you okay?” came Maze’s clotted voice from the exterior wall through the door.  Her hand nervously drummed the door as she said it. 

I stuttered out, “Oh, yes.  I am perfectly fine.”  No I’m not! 

“Okay.  Cas is waiting for you.  You should hurry.”

Was she trying to rescue me from Lee again in her eyes?  Did she think I was in here with him?  I forgot she was ahead of me and never saw my little run-in with Cas.

When she left still unsatisfied, the guttural sounds of said Vampire trailed like a flame in my ear, “Yes.  You should hurry.  He sounds like a very impatient man.”

His hands pulled mine above my head where he suspended them.

Okay.  So I was the goddess queen of the world and I couldn’t even control my outcomes concerning a jealous, angry boyfriend/fiancee.

“Cas, I couldn’t keep him from getting to me.  He cornered me.”

“Cornered,” his eyes were slits.  They were reminding me of my current situation.

I made an ever bigger mistake.  I looked under the bed.  Crap.  Crap.  Crap.

Kissa, you are so...

He was talking on the inside and saying the incessant nickname to make me cave.  No.  No.  No.

“I had to.  I owed him.”

“What is the favor?”

“Nothing worth getting worked up over.” 

His body was practically suffocating me.  He was like a smoke consuming me at a slow pace constricting my throat.  I couldn’t breathe.  I
needed
to breathe.

“I can’t breathe,” I closed my eyes to not see the things he was trying not to say but his body and face were screaming.

Then take a breath quickly before I kiss you.

His lips went to my neck.  I inhaled the oxygen so loud I was sure he heard.  My jaw.  The corner of my mouth.

Lips.

A certain amount of time later, he let me surface, but only my mouth was released.  He still held my deadening arms above.

“I can’t keep you safe when the snakes for admirers get too close and you aren’t where you should be.”

No, you can’t keep me to yourself you mean. 
I wiggled my arms to hopefully indicate I’d lost feeling in them.

I won’t deny it.  I never said I would play nice.  I never once gave an indication that I’d share.  I thought I’d made that clear.

“I didn’t invite him, Cas.  And he was only doing that to irk you.”

Hmmm! 

“Think again.”

I tried to replay it, but all I could see was Cas’ hard lined face gearing up for battle.

“Whatever. I can handle myself, Cas.  Men don’t scare me.”

His head tilted.  I didn’t even feel the wind move as I was whipped through the air and plastered flat across the bed once again encaged by a rather sizable Vampire who smelled all kinds of good and was all kinds of bad.

I yanked and pulled and tried to kick.  No go!  “Not scared?”  he asked.

“Of you, no.  You won’t hurt me.”

He lowered himself onto me making me deathly, physically afraid of feeling things I wasn’t ready for.  I needed to concentrate on saving people, not my own selfish desires. 

Registering my wide-eyed doe look, he asked again, “And now?”

I couldn’t speak.  I nodded a yes and held my swallow.  If I closed my eyes, I might miss what he’d try next so I remained at his mercy and caught between hating ever second and...loving every part of it.

“But not of you particularly, just what I know you have hold over me.”

I closed off my mind not wanting to make a bigger fool of myself.  I was definitely not ready for the marriage part of life.  Oh, I was feeling it, but I wasn’t ready.  Why were men built to just be able to do these things to us?  It’s like they have this innate ability to remind us that we are under their love slave power.  Romantic notions aside, they can control our very being if they will it to be.

“I need to get back to Maze.  She’s probably worried.”

“For now.” he whispered into my ear letting me feel the heat of his anger and his other feelings he was making me well aware of.   He stayed where he was, then crawled off me so carefully and issued me to stay while he sat in the chair across the room for at least two long minutes leaving me to wonder what all he might have heard in my head logic discussion with myself. 

“You will not leave my side the rest of day.” 

Ordered by the Vampire lord.

We’ll see.

           The newest development, but not really...Lee was still with Borgon.  And well, Borgon, was up to no good.  He wanted me taken out, and the current faction leaders taken down.  Nothing new, right?  Wrong. 

              This time, he was going after Cord.  No, I didn’t have much of a soft spot for the wolf breed, but I didn’t want him dead either.  Or ousted.

              He was going to attack his camps according to the intel Liam gathered from listening in at the club.  More than one Elf was shooting his mouth off revealing their plan.  Borgon was angry my father lived.  He hadn't predicted or expected Cord Ryan and his wooly men to be great trackers it seemed.  Cord’s military style way of doing things were his trademark, but underestimated by those who still considered him an outsider to the Were faction way of doing things.  From what I know of him, it comes from his father.  It seems to me, his way rather...works. From what I've heard around the table talk of others, he is rather good at protection details for a large group and has their faction in it's best state since before the last two leaders.

                Borgon's screwup hit when they bloodied up my father and used yet another old Were camp for cover.   Ever since he used the last one, Cord has sent scouts out to check them periodically.  He is systematic, but clever. The scouts never took the same routes.

              We needed a strategy for beating him at his own game.

              “They expect us to lie,” Szar offered up sitting at the dinning room table of the Cross Manor already finished with his second plate of pasta with extra meat made exclusively for him by Claire.  I'd decided recently that Claire, a human servant for the Vampire faction, was sweet on my brother.  He did have a certain charm every Valkyrie girl swooned easily over.  Maybe he held a bit of the same persuasive nature our females did. It is not
impossible.
Nothing was anymore in my book.

              The air was drier today, making my food cold.

              “How is that, little brother?” I brushed my fork over the penne noodles in white sauce.  I 'd lost my appetite one minute and was starved the next.  It was making me nauseas.  Heck, I was too hungry.  Where did my sudden hunger erupt from?

              “Little?” he furled his brow.

              “By seconds I’m told, so yes.”  He knew this.  It was an old argument that never died with us.  My stomach actually growled audibly.

              He clucked his tongue at me and rolled his eyes which didn't have the same effect as coming from a Vampire.  Cas’ eye roll was in a different league.  Vampires just never fit the overly “nice” bill.  Their darkened expressions just couldn't pull it off.  “They would not expect the truth from us.  So, we make up something and spread a rumor.  In some ways that’s how we find out what we do.  And then our trusty loyal traitor Lee confirms it for us.” 

              He grinned I guess hoping for a smile.  I didn’t want to show happiness at losing a friend.  He once was my friend, but no longer.  Not since he sold my name to the enemy.  I had a sudden pang of hurt at the lack of people skills as I’ve come to take notice of and am developing more of it seemed in the wrong ways.  When I knew Lee, I was at my most vulnerable state in life and was totally oblivious to it at the time.  When he left, I’d started harder training in battle and missions that I now knew were highly watched by said Vampire lord who had a vested interest in my safety.  There were all kinds of wrong to me being Dear Abby to anyone, but I felt guilty for using Lee.  A little.

              He continued on with his
advice
about Lee and the plan while my body urged on with its need to eat. He watched me practically shovel the food in.  A trait I never possessed.

              “We spread that we are going to leave at midnight on the eve of the next full moon and attack at dawn.  Throw them off guard.  Then, we flank then and there you have it.”  He sat a little taller like he was the master of all good ideas.  Must be nice to have an ego the size of California.

              Cas, who had remained silent through all of this, spoke in a low tone.  “Might work with a few adjustments.”  He didn’t eat with me today after returning in the early morning with Cord on a lead.  His cheeks were too pale.

              “Cord is aware already.  What about Calum?” Szar asked.

“Calum won’t do anything stupid.  He knows me all too well.”

Cas growled, but it was broken up by the sound of small breaths that were particularly peculiar for him.

“Those are fighting words, sis.”  Szar took up for me at all times.  I really hate that I didn’t know him all those years as well as I do now.  It’s an injustice.

And besides, the words came out all wrong.  I didn’t mean...
I meant,
“I thought you were meaning he was a loose cannon or something like he always is.  He won’t mess it up even if he is not here to defend himself.”

              Szar huffed and just had to ask, “Dear Lord Cross, share your insights please.”  He bowed his head in his direction scooting his dining room chair that way too.

              Cas reeled his eyes in a sluggish fashion to open them.  They were...too dark.  Red. Like the rose. I stood fast feeling a little off kilter. That's it.   I could feel his hunger. 

              “Um, brother.  We’ll talk in the Sun room in ten minutes.”  I skipped fast over to Cas and tried to pull him to standing.  He wouldn’t budge.  Oh, no!

              “What’s wrong?” Szar charged.

              “He needs to eat,” I struggled with my voice and my muscles.  I don't know how I knew, I just did.  It happened before, but not like this. When did he get so heavy and myself so weak?  I couldn’t lift him.

              Szar looked at me like I’d lost my marbles so I cursed at him to help me.  I blew out my breath and cursed again.  Cas raised his head at my second wordy dirty.  He didn’t like my language moments. 

              “Get your Vampire butt off the chair and help me then, Cas.”             

              He finally zoned in again and stood.  I guided his staggering weight to the kitchen with Szar’s help.  Szar was his friend long before I came along and he didn't even recognize it like I did.  Or could now.   Once in, I threw open the fridge though my arms felt like jelly.  I found the first bottle and opened it.  They were old Coke bottles as of late.  Cas called it Bloke, his own inner humor. 

              Cas was leaned against the counter and I propped against him.  Forcing the contents into his mouth, he drank. With his eyes closed, I watched.  I couldn’t take my eyes off him.  His face flushed finally and his heart ticked harder.  His mind kind of “clicked on” and rampant thoughts started to filter through.  Not my own.

              I could stand now, my strength returning. I felt my own heart speed to normal.  I pushed Cas’ arm over to the side of the stainless steel counter and stood on my own, facing him.  Watching him.

              His eyes opened flashing black, then gold, and back to his norm.  I took a long breath I didn’t even know I’d been holding.  I didn’t hate the act one bit knowing what I’d just put down his throat.  I was just that sick with worry.

              The other person in the room had been forgotten.  So when I reached up and cleaned his lip with my finger, and let it linger there long enough for Cas to focus on me, I didn’t hear the first time he cleared his throat, or notice the way I’d leaned onto Cas with all my weight.

              “Sis, can I go now.”

              Oh!  “Szar.  Sorry you had to see that.  I hadn’t seen it myself.  He has never “bottomed out” like that before where he didn't just go get him a drink himself.”  I felt like I was with a diabetic.

              “He has and I’ve done the same act, just not in the way you performed it.”  Szar wasn’t grinning, he was more like in some kind of shock.  “Sis, he’s never let anyone do that.”

              What exactly?  Should I even ask?  At least I know now he'd been with Cas in instances like this or at least heard about them.

              “You were awfully close to letting him—never mind.”  Szar flew his hands above his head, leaving one on the back of his neck.  “I will give you two a minute if you don’t need me.”  He stormed out the doors letting them flap in and out twice before stopping.

              “We will be fine," I said but he never heard.

              I turned back to Cas when my brother was out of earshot. 

              “Are you okay?”

              He was mostly coherent again, flaring his nostrils.  He held his nose to the air like he did on some occasions.  I attributed it to his predator like instincts to the awareness of who was near him.  At the times he ate, blood of various types from varying places, he seemed to reacquaint the scents around him when they were being mixed with others.  I just never asked for fear he might see me as a sudden buffet.

              I was fine now, but my head still swam with confusion.  Like a whirlpool of haze. 

              “You just...fed me.”  He looked stunned.

              “So!” I was offended.

              “You are okay with that?” he questioned like he was in horror, holding my gaze at length.

              “Yeah.  Why not?  I kiss that mouth, why not feed it?”

              He grinned, school boyish and starkly different than five heartbeats before.  “You are amazing on so many levels.”

              “Thought we got that part straight in the beginning?” I grinned with him.

              He chuckled aloud feeling better.  His hands flexed before wrapping around me.

              “I love you, Anastacia.”

              “Ditto V boy.”  I know we don’t say it enough.

              V boy?

              You call me a cat!  I have the right to nickname you a few times over.

              He shrugged his head at me.  “You were weak too.  Did you notice?”

              “Oh, yeah.  I was starving one minute and not the next.  Weak...too weak, then powered up.  What do you think it means?”

              “That we are farther held together in other ways and it made us...”

              I finished, “melded together somehow.” 

              He nodded.  He frowned.  Then, he smiled.  Huge.  “I like.”

              Smug was his finest trait on that gorgeous face.  “I’m sure you do.”

              “Oh, just think of the possibilities,” the feral look he sometimes got shot across his face though usually it was in a moment of PROTECT STACE mode.  This was a far different situation.  His mind showed me too graphically what those
possibilities
might suggest.

              I bloomed red from ear to ear.  “Cas.  Stop.  Focus.”

              “I am, love.”

              I grunted and pushed off from practically laying on top of him while standing and leaning.  “It also means it makes us weak.”

              “Could be good, could be bad,” he reasoned still trying to accept that his strength was back.  I knew he was just staying that way for my benefit.  The images were for his personal enjoyment alone.

              “How is it good in any way?”

              “Look at it this way.  It’s a definite signal to the other when one is weak and needs...” his face looked off in the distance.  He hid what he envisioned.  My imagination ran wild.

              “...needs a “pick me up” so to speak?” I finished for him.

              His grin said something suggestive, but I knew his mind went more than one direction on the thought. 

              “Among other things,” he mused rubbing his chin.  I elbowed him and he gave me a rare deep laugh I loved so.

              “Really though, it could ring as a warning system.”  His mind was still elsewhere.

             
My
mind was in the gutter.

              “What if...” his eyes suddenly started to blaze with a look I knew well.  I backed up seeing the mischievous side of Cas come to life.  He loved the chase, especially in the kitchen.

              I grabbed the side of the steel counter where not so long ago we were at odds with our discoveries involving our marks.  I dodged his hands, fast feet, and pouncing effect for only so long and then he had me against the kitchen wall.  I was locked in, caged.  His arms were above me.  Wasn’t one time in a day enough with the caging effect?

              “Do you trust me?” his voice was rich and seductive.  I didn’t know how to handle this Cas when he was this way.  I was under his spell so much it dulled my senses.

              I nodded not knowing what else to do.

              He took my finger, the one from before that I pricked on the rose and raised it to his arched lips. Slowly he watched my face as it slid into his mouth.  I was so far gone with the gesture he could have done all matter of things to me and I’d have jumped into the battle he offered.  Any battle.  Any
kind
of battle.