Shadow Over Avalon (27 page)

“No, my Queen.”

Raw pain clouded his expression as he looked away. A shout of laughter sounded from a group of brothers, somehow making the moment all the more poignant. Copper faced her, his expression now one of cold arrogance – the killer looked out of his eyes again.

“Please don’t insult my intelligence with any more bizarre statements intended to hide the extent of Shade interference. They found a useful stray, adapted her to suit their needs, and filled her head full of nonsense to cover their actions. A simple ‘no’ to my question would have sufficed.”

Shocked and very lonely, Shadow tried to penetrate his mind for the feeling of inclusion, common amongst Submariners. She failed to get even basic emotions from an impenetrable barrier. She would have been his queen? How low they had both fallen.

“Try asking,” Copper advised, his mouth twisting into a smile.

Shadow refused to rise to his bait. He had closed away from a source of pain by instigating attack.

“What now? I am fed, watered and exercised, is it time to be shuffled out of the way until next required?” She wondered just what he intended to do with her, an interesting problem from a practical point of view. Another thought occurred. “I can’t amuse myself picking through minds, can I? Did you know how isolated I would be in Haven?”

“An obvious conclusion, since the stones are mined here.” A spark of interest lightened the grim mask of his face. “What does it feel like, when the gemstone rocks are all around? Is it just a sense of restriction that you can’t sense the thoughts of others, or something more?” He leaned forward.

“The walls press down from all sides. I feel trapped, crippled, as if blinded.” Shadow wanted to see daylight.

“Interesting. As for occupation, each degree of ennui finds its own natural level,” Copper said. “Live as a queen, or slave like the lowest drudge, none will interfere.”

“I’m free to please myself, go where I like?”

“Excepting the lower caverns. I’ll show you round now to prevent misunderstandings.”

He started on the left side of the cave complexes, as the sisters not on duty in the kitchen were still bathing. Most of their space was given over to a sleeping area with a few areas set aside for spinning and weaving, not popular pastimes from the dust on the work. Kitchens and laundry nestled off a side branch near the pool area. The largest area was devoted to rock refining work. Brothers’ quarters appeared almost as big, with some communal dormitories and a fair number of curtained-off alcoves. Their recreational facilities doubled as the dining cavern, where some still slept off a heavy drinking session from the night before amidst discarded dice and knuckle bones. As she watched, a small group of brothers finished eating, to move toward a narrow passage at the innermost section – every one of them wearing loose inside clothing.

“That’s the forbidden area. There’s nothing interesting down there, it’s just not safe to wander without a guide—the reason for the restriction.” Copper ushered her to the outside.

Haven compound resembled other forts in that it housed stables and various workshops. As they paused on the threshold, he gave a hand signal for quiet and stillness, gesturing toward the blacksmith’s shop. A half-naked man, bulging with muscles, hammered out a horseshoe for a patiently waiting beast. He dipped the gleaming metal in a bucket of water, unaware that a lanky brother watched from behind a weather hanging. The tall man waited for his chance, darting in to sever the bindings holding the hammerhead to its shaft, and then slithered out of sight. The intent smith groped for his tool, swung a blow, abruptly curtailed, as the business end of his implement parted company from its shaft. A shout of laughter sounded. The trickster set off at top speed followed by his roaring victim.

“Aren’t you going to stop them?” Shadow said, convinced blood would flow.

“Ironfist will never catch Fleetfoot, and it is just payment for last night’s prank. Ironfist stuck an inflated pig’s bladder under Fleetfoot as he sat down to supper. It made the loudest fart noise you’ve ever heard. Fleetfoot had been trying to impress one of the girls, but she dissolved into giggles, ruining the seduction he’d planned.” Copper chuckled, enjoying the spectacle of the running pair. “I said you’d need a sense of humor to live here.”

“They won’t fight?”

“Not for real. There will be a counterstrike when Fleetfoot thinks he’s safe. Ironfist is patient. I only intervene if someone becomes too serious.”

“Such license is unexpected from Brethren,” Shadow said, stunned at the lack of discipline.

“Necessary, though.” His eyes held a violet glow of mirth as Ironfist stamped back to a ruined effort. “Ours is a harsh life among fort dwellers—one filled with duty, suffering and death. Shall I create a place where all fun is forbidden, or risk a few bruises? There’s little enough enjoyment in our existence without me crushing humor where none can see but us.”

“Do sisters also jest in such a manner?”

“Answer yourself. I didn’t see any smile from you at the fun.”

It was an unfair comment given the surprise. Shadow let it pass, following him as he stalked off to the stables, a massive wooden structure well protected from weather.

Flaring torches in suspended brackets lit this building at regular intervals. Copper marched halfway down a central aisle to pause at the tenth stall to the left, waiting for her to catch up.

“I’ve consigned that derelict animal of yours to breeding pastures. This is by way of a replacement,” he said, standing aside so she could see.

Torchlight reflected off a light chestnut coat. A blaze distinguished the mare, a proud animal of excellent lines.

“Her name is Amber,” Copper supplied.

The mare whickered in welcome, pushing her velvety nose against Shadow’s face. A magnificent gift for any ruler to give, and overwhelmed at his generosity, Shadow embraced the Outcast. Contact ignited deeply submerged memories. The horse . . . something familiar about the horse.

Past exploded into present. It left her trembling, half-dead with shock. This was the mount lost after banding – the horse gifted by the dark man. Sequence upon sequence crashed down upon her.

Copper’s hold on her tightened. “Stay with me,” he said. “Don’t lose yourself in the past.”

Shadow sagged against him as memories rolled before her eyes in unending torment. Pain, then pleasure, pleasure then pain, it all came back. Shadow knew who she had been now, but not why she had become Outcast. The pain of loss washed over her, threatening to overwhelm.
Boy has a father. I had a mate who cared. Why has it all gone?

Copper’s mouth closed over hers, kissing her as he never had before, with great tenderness. He stopped when she straightened, leaving her relieved yet uneasy at the same time.

“All of us deal with this moment.” He ran one finger down her cheek along the path of a tear. “Don’t try to bury anything, or it will come back to bite you. Face your past life. Deal with what happened, who you lost, and what you lost. Once done, then you will be free to move forward. Shall I stay, or would you rather be alone?”

Rather than answer, she pushed him away. Not knowing what she wanted, she wandered through the compound, passing by a tanner’s shop. Water from a large puddle soaked through a hole in her boot. The wetness registered as a minor irritation to be ignored. The reawakened memories screamed for attention. Almost without volition, her steps led her up a rocky slope away from people. Wind clawed at her on the steep path through jagged boulders to a ledge facing south. The closed-off feeling ever-present in Haven seemed less here.

Shadow released all restraints. The pain rushed over her. Pictures of Uther, the Dragon Duke, formed in her mind. Angry expressions followed by amusement and then the intense, yet tender face of love. One last picture came to haunt her, his look of loathing when he saw her on the stairs in High Fort. Harsh, dry sobs tore from her throat, snatched away by the wind.

She climbed down from the heights as night drew over the sky. Accepting personal mortality had come hard, with no going back. The past must remain dead. Shadow allowed herself time to mourn, trying to hang onto the few moments of pleasure in an otherwise miserable life. It could have been good – should have been. A boiling rage against unfairness welled up from deep within. Harvesters would pay a heavy blood-price before she finished.

Food had no flavor at supper, and the chatter of others irritated. Shadow elected for an early night.

Morning brought renewed lassitude and bitterness. The Harvesters must be destroyed. Meanwhile, something in Haven interfered with Shadow’s mental powers – more so than just earrings. That feeble attempt to scare a cave-dweller against exploring did not bother her. They were hiding something from her.

Shadow ate a leisurely breakfast, watching with covert interest as around a dozen brothers filed into the depths, all wearing the standard loose, gray robe identical to her own. As the morning lengthened, others seemed not to notice her lounging by a wall. She picked her moment well, choosing a temporary absence of people. One more robed figure moved to the passage underground, past tables strewn with plates and trenchers, unobserved by a few half-conscious drunkards when she entered the anteroom.

A row of pegs on one wall held discarded robes. In the center of the room was a deep shaft with a wooden ladder fixed against one side. Torches flared from brackets set at regular intervals of descent. Each step she took down brought an increased feeling of isolation.

Long robes snarled her foot. Shadow hung over the drop, thrashing wildly until she found a foothold. Chastened, and now knowing why brothers shed their robes above, she hooked the hem up in her belt before continuing down. Her right foot touched solid rock. A second later a hard hand closed over her shoulder.

“I warned you to stay away. Curiosity nearly cost you your life.”

Shadow turned to meet her King’s angry glare. He looked larger somehow, just wearing a loincloth. His broad shoulders showed dust marks streaked with sweat that ran down into the auburn hair on his chest.

“Ennui finds its own level,” Shadow shot back.

“Point. Is this an exercise in disobedience, or is there another motive?” Copper’s face held a warning in its lack of expression.

“I wanted to know why I couldn’t come here. This direction felt more . . . like it wrapped my head in wool.” Shadow peered round him into a network of passages, hoping for answers before she was packed up the ladder again. “I would’ve gotten away with it if you hadn’t happened on me by chance.”

“Chance didn’t figure. I sensed your danger.” He braced his arms against the ladder and at either side of her, trapping her. “Why do you imagine I warned you off? Will you now obey?”

“I’ll leave. Next time I’ll be more careful.” Shadow faced him down, unrepentant.

“We mine the gemstones for our earrings here. That’s no great secret, just dangerous to one unused to the caverns, some of which are unstable. Now are you satisfied?”

“I will be once I’ve seen for myself.” She wanted him to move away. His almost naked body challenged her.

“Will you be satisfied on the day you die trying to snoop?” The set of Copper’s shoulders betrayed his reluctance to humor her as he stepped back. “Come, disobedient sister, take me to this place of blindness you feel.”

Shadow set off along a right-branching passage, feeling her way with one hand on an uneven tunnel wall in the semi gloom. First she took a right turn, then a left, until she reached a place where she felt the greatest sense of restriction, halfway down a branch of the fifth tunnel.

“There.” She pointed to a wall. The sense of blindness oozed from the rough rock.

“Wait here.” Copper pushed past her to grab a torch from the end of the tunnel. He stooped for an abandoned pick. Shadow flattened out of the way when he returned to labor at the place she indicated.

“How much deeper?” Copper demanded after a while. His hand left a dirt trail across his chest as he brushed away rivulets of sweat. He hunkered down, his muscular legs covered with dust.

“Soon. The sense is much stronger. Aim to the right.”

He obeyed. More debris fell, and a sense of urgency fired his strokes. The tension built as moments passed.

“By the Hells, it’s a mother lode! Come and look at it.”

Curious to see the source of disability in its raw state, she tried to see the full extent. The next moment Copper lifted her to his height.

“You can put me down now,” Shadow suggested, uncomfortable at the close contact.

Copper did so without letting go. Uneasy, she turned in his arms to face him, realizing her mistake when he began to kiss her. He tasted salty, and her hands slipped on his chest as she tried to push him away. His sweaty hair reminded her of the first time he forced contact. Struggling didn’t help, he continued until she gave up, standing quiet for him, feeling helpless and angry that he took advantage of her trust and yet excited by him at the same time. His hardening member pushed against layers of thin fabric to thrust at her until he stepped back.

“We agreed that you wouldn’t do that.” She blushed. He’d stirred her in a way she didn’t want to relive.

“As I recall, we agreed that you wouldn’t disobey my orders.” He grinned, turning his head to one side. “This could have ended badly, and no, I haven’t finished discussing your behavior, just postponed an argument until we deal with your find. Go. No, stay put, I’ll fetch others myself.” He made his way up the passage at a brisk pace leaving Shadow settled down against a wall to curb her anger.