Shadow on the Fells (18 page)

“So, tomorrow,” she said, “we'll work on Max's recall... It really isn't solid enough yet.”

“But...” Will reached out to her.

“But nothing.” She busied herself at the sink to hide her emotion. “Just take it for what it was. I like you, Will, and I wanted to show it, but we have different priorities. We can't forget that. I'll see you tomorrow—don't forget to keep practicing.”

CHAPTER TWENTY

W
ILL
DROVE
HOME
in a daze, his head full of Chrissie. Her kissing him so tenderly had knocked him for six. He was used to being the instigator, used to taking women by surprise, not the other way around. It was the first time in his life that he had been kissed with such pure emotion; it had come straight from Chrissie's heart...or that's how it had felt, at least.

The more he got to know Chrissie Marsh, though, the more puzzled she made him. There were so many different facets to her nature. Would she really go to the dinner with him, or was she just winding him up? And if she did, would she wear something totally unsuitable?

He wanted to retract that thought as soon as it came into his head. He felt as shallow as she expected his colleagues to be. But maybe the things her mother had told her, about her own self-perception and her views on others, had made her oblivious to how she came across or what she wore. He remembered how out of place he'd looked when he'd tried to climb the fell in his suit and couldn't bear the idea of everyone looking down on her if she turned up in the wrong outfit...even if she didn't care.

And of course she wouldn't care, he realized, smiling to himself, for she would be too busy imagining them all on the toilet. He found himself wishing he'd met Chrissie's mother. She must have been a remarkable woman.

* * *

A
FTER
W
ILL
LEFT
,
Chrissie busied herself by doing a last check on the sheep, even though the lambing was almost over. Soon they'd all be back on the fell, and the home meadows would be left for the spring grass to grow in time to make hay for the winter.

There were always jobs to be done on the farm: shearing the fleeces, worming, trimming hooves, sorting the sheep and looking for strays... And then the lambs had to be weaned before the sales. Chrissie hated the sales. Hardened shepherdess that she was, she felt sad when the lambs she'd nurtured were sold.

Buying sheep to add to the stock was another matter. Browsing the catalogue beforehand for the best bloodlines, checking out the animals in their pens and bidding against other farmers were days to remember, filled with anticipation and camaraderie as she tried to buy the best sheep she could afford.

For now, though, there were other things to think about, like taking the sheep and lambs back to the fell, arranging for the clipping... And the event that Will had invited her to was on the horizon. Her bold talk of not caring about what people thought felt like a sham now... Perhaps she should tell Will that she couldn't go.

Her mother's face slid into her mind. No, of course she would go, and she'd show Will Devlin just how proud of her he could be. Why, he was probably worrying right this moment that she might turn up at his bash dressed like a country bumpkin. Well, she would show him.

She'd kissed him because she wanted to, and she didn't regret it. But it couldn't happen again. There were too many obstacles between them for any kind of relationship to work. His planning application was the big one right now, but his background was so different from hers. He might not be ready to admit it, but she could tell there was some part of him that missed the law. One day he would probably get bored of the country and want to go back to his other life. Where would that leave them?

Sadness welled up inside her. Of all the men in all the world why did Will Devlin have to be the one to make her feel this way?

* * *

F
OR
THE
NEXT
few days, Chrissie was busy making sure that every sheep and lamb was fit and strong enough to take its chances on the vast slopes that backed onto High Bracken. The forecast was good for Friday, so that was the day she had chosen to herd them back up the fell. She'd told Will he could come, too, with Max—but on a long line, just in case.

They'd turned up every day that week with smiles on their faces, and Chrissie had come to look forward to seeing them both. Usually Will drove over, but yesterday he had walked to High Bracken across the fell with Max loose behind him. He'd been so pleased with himself, his face alight as he told her how obedient Max had been. It was funny how fond she'd become of the big, useless labradoodle. But he wasn't useless, was he? He was a friend.

And what about Will—was he a friend? She'd buried her feelings for him deep in her heart, and they were going to stay there, she promised herself. Neither of them had mentioned her kissing him, but the memory of it was sealed on her lips every time she laid eyes on him. And they didn't bring up the lawyers' dinner, either, or his planning application. Both events were huge in her mind, as she assumed they were in his, but they skirted around them, afraid to face both their feelings and their differences. Just living for now.

Watching Will and Max approach across the fell on Thursday, she decided she was sick of pretending. It felt so false. He threw a stick and the big cream-colored dog leaped and bounded after it, so full of life and energy. Perhaps it was time she was honest, that she tell him about her carefully logged objections to his plans.

There was no good moment to bring it up during the training session, however. Max seemed to thrive now on trying to please, as if he'd suddenly grown up. So while the lessons had become more routine, Chrissie had also made them more intensive to get the most out of the boisterous labradoodle.

“Come on,” suggested Will halfway through their usual session. “We've done enough training for one day. Let me take you out for lunch. You've cooked often enough for me these last couple of weeks.”

“Just using up the eggs,” she told him with a smile, considering whether this might be her opportunity to tell him that she was objecting to his plans. Good food and a glass of wine might help him take it better...because she knew that he wouldn't take it well.

Although they had both agreed not to mention tourists or planning, certain comments he'd made told her that he thought she'd come around to it. Well, he might think that paying for the training was paying her off, too, but he was wrong.

They ate at a lovely old country pub, sitting outside in a secluded garden with the dogs at their feet. The sun was warm for late April, and Chrissie sipped her glass of sauvignon blanc feeling totally relaxed and happy. It was strange, she thought, how she and Will could just sit in silence, enjoying their food and the sunshine and the wine, like an old married couple who knew each other so well they needed no words.

He glanced at her and when she caught his eyes, a slow flush spread across her cheeks.

“You're thinking about that kiss, aren't you?” he teased.

“Maybe,” she admitted.

“Well, here's another,” he murmured, and when his lips closed over hers, something inside her blossomed. All that mattered was this moment. She didn't hold back. It just felt so right, so good, so real.

They left hand in hand, their shoulders almost touching. As he opened the car door for her, he spun her around, placing his palms on the sun-warmed metal, pinning her against the big vehicle. She could feel his heat and her heart raced madly. But when he lowered his lips to hers, she forced herself to pull away, guilt washing away her desire.

“No, Will, this isn't right.”

He stood back, relaxing his hold, a puzzled expression on his face. “You know that's not true. Why...why isn't it right?”

“It's just... I don't think we should let ourselves get involved so quickly,” she told him. “And we agreed that our relationship had to be professional, remember?”

“Then I absolve you from our professional agreement and declare Max's training a success,” he said, reaching out for her again.

She gave in, melting against him as his lips found hers, warmth coursing through her body. Was this love? she wondered. Was she in love with Will Devlin?

Her blood turned cold. What was she thinking? She couldn't let this go any further until she'd been straight about her objections, and she couldn't bring that up now. He knew she didn't agree with his plans, but he had no idea she'd sent a list of strong objections to the council...not to mention the petition she'd gotten dozens of local farmers to sign.

Pulling away from him, she called to the dogs. “Sorry, Will,” she mumbled. “I can't do this.”

His face was cold and hard as they climbed into his four-by-four. Was that just because he hadn't got his own way? Maybe she'd been too naive; maybe she'd misread his signals. Her feelings were real, but maybe all he wanted was a lighthearted dalliance...a bit of fun to ease the boredom of living in the country.

“I'll take you home,” he said, not meeting her eyes.

He drove too fast, staring intently at the road as he swung around corner after corner. Chrissie wanted to tell him to slow down, but he seemed so unapproachable that she stayed silent. Should she just come out and tell him why she'd pushed him away? She thought about how she would phrase it.
I've put in some pretty strong objections to your plans, I'm afraid. Nothing personal, but that idea you had about making a living from your holiday rentals might just be about to come crashing down around you.

Put so bluntly, it sounded bad. Then again, perhaps she was being too sensitive to his reaction when she'd turned him down. Will must have had loads of girlfriends in the city; being rejected by a country girl probably barely even dented his pride. She didn't intend to be just another notch on his belt, so perhaps it was for the best. She was slowly and reluctantly falling in love with him, and she had no time in her life for love. Especially not when the man in question was a city lawyer with a dodgy past who intended to build her worst nightmare right next door. No matter how she felt, she had to stop him. She cared for Will deeply, but that didn't mean she would let him put her animals, her livelihood and the entire landscape in jeopardy.

When they pulled into the yard at High Bracken, she began getting out before he'd fully stopped the car. “Thanks for the meal,” she said.

He nodded curtly, his tone dismissive. “My pleasure.”

As he drove away without a backward glance, his tires sliding on the gravel, a heavy weight settled on Chrissie's chest.

Her chance at love was slipping away, and there was nothing she could do about it... Nothing she
would
do about it. Unless he retracted his plans.

* * *

C
HRISSIE
WOKE
EARLY
after a long and restless night. Today, the sheep and lambs were going back up the fell. Will was supposed to come, along with Max, but now she didn't know if he would appear or not. Her heart wished he would drive into the yard this very moment, but her head told her a very different story. Still, her ears strained to hear the sound of his vehicle.

When he hadn't arrived by nine, she figured he wasn't going to show. Calling to Tess and Fly, she picked up her crook and strode off toward the home meadows. She opened the gates onto the fell and sent both dogs in different directions, calling “come way out” to one and “come by” to the other.

The collies knew the routine, and they worked together efficiently until all the sheep were travelling as one, a flock of white rippling over the rough terrain, climbing ever higher toward the vast blue sky. Overhead, a buzzard circled, looking for small prey pushed out of their hiding spots by the mass of cloven hooves.

The morning went well, and by lunchtime all the sheep were where Chrissie wanted them to be, happily grazing back in their own wild territory while their lambs suckled contentedly. Now it was time for the next generation to learn the ways of the flock and become hefted—or bonded—to their area of the fell with its invisible boundaries.

She saw Will on the fell's lower slopes as she headed home. He walked determinedly and Max raced ahead, sniffing the exciting and enticing smells all around. She raised her hand to catch his attention, but immediately drew it back. It was weird to feel like she couldn't call out to Will.

Perhaps she should have come clean yesterday, about her feelings and her objections to his plans. What did it matter now, though? He'd chosen to stay away today. Okay, so she'd rejected him without much explanation, but surely there was more to it than hurt pride...wasn't there? Was she reading him all wrong? Perhaps she had done more than dent his ego; perhaps, like her, he felt the dawning of something real and meaningful between them. What if she ran down to join him, threw caution to the wind? She could admit everything—the attempts she'd made to sabotage his plans, yes, but also the way she truly felt about him.

But then he disappeared from view and the moment for action was gone. It was for the best, she decided. She needed to have a cool head when she spoke to him. When it came to Will, acting impulsively had only gotten her into trouble.

After Will's invitation to the big dinner, Chrissie had earmarked the afternoon to go and find a dress. Obviously she wouldn't be going now, though, so what was the point? A rush of disappointment took her by surprise and she realized just how much she'd been looking forward to it. She'd wanted to impress him by revealing her feminine side in a glamorous dress that made her stand out from everyone else. That wasn't going to happen now.

Except...

Will hadn't yet withdrawn his invitation. She'd wanted to prove herself to him and she still could if she was courageous enough. The ball was tomorrow. She'd just call him and ask what time he was picking her up.

Excitement fluttered inside her. “You shall go to the ball, Chrissie Marsh,” she said out loud. “All you need is a dress and a handsome prince.”

She winced at herself as she dialed his number. Will might be handsome, but he was certainly no prince.

“Hi,” she said when he answered. “I just thought I'd better check on what time you're picking me up tomorrow.”