Shadow of the Sun (46 page)

I gazed back at her and waited for an explanation. Though I was thrilled—more than thrilled—to see her, it was difficult for me to believe she was real. When she stayed silent, I asked, “And what do you mean by ‘Timeless Oblivion’?”

“
Between mortality and immortality—life and death.” She laughed, the sound whimsical. She twirled away from me and danced around like a little girl. For the first time I noticed she had on an identical dress, except it was a vivid red. At each twist it turned a different color. She was magnificent with her long, curly brown hair and her tall, slim body.

“
I don’t understand,” I said, confused. “Are you sure I’m not dead?” I mean, it made sense—my being dead and all—considering I was hit with a spell and a branch hit my cranium. Plus, the lack of my heartbeat could have also been a sign.

“
You are.” She smiled back at me.

“
But you just said—” I was dead. What was the point of the word “immortality” if it wasn’t as timeless as everyone perceived? I had things I needed to do, people who I wanted to save. How was I supposed to do that in the Timeless Oblivion? Maybe this was what it meant to be timeless after all.

The peaceful feeling vanished.

Aiden, I lamented. Hadn’t he lost enough for an eternity? And Andrew—this would crush him. And my family. . . .

“
Immortality doesn’t come without consequences,” Abelie clarified. She didn’t seem worried about my state of . . . oblivion? I was already an angel—an immortal. Wasn’t I?

Abelie glanced at my bewildered expression, and her smile dissolved into a frown.

“
So,” I finally said, “if I’m ‘dead,’ how does that translate into being in between mortality and immortality?” What was with the angels and their cryptic words? You didn’t know if you should take things literally or look deeper for a metaphor.

An easy smile crawled across her face. “You’re becoming an Archangel. Your abilities go beyond what any of us have ever seen.” She moved closer to me, her dress back to the rich ruby color. “When we, the
Senza Tempo
, became immortal, we all had to prove ourselves worthy. The first step was death.”

“
What?” I gasped. They never told me that.

“
It was different for us. When we went through the process, we didn’t know that death was the price we would pay. Not until we came here, and then it was too late. None of us remembered afterward. I didn’t remember—I just woke up and knew I was different.” She shrugged dispassionately. “But now that I’m here, my memories restored, I know. I remember. We each made sacrifices to prove our virtue.” Her voice was calm.

“
Sacrifices?”

“
Each one of us endured our own personal test.” She looked thoughtful. “When I was here last, I was given the option to return to life as an immortal and lose Aiden, or to truly die so he could live.”

“
And what happened?”

“
I gave up my life for him.” She smiled. “I loved him too deeply to be selfish. What I didn’t realize was that was the test. Actually, I didn’t even know I was there to prove my worth.”

“
And . . . did everyone make it?”

“
All but two.” Her facial expression didn’t even flinch.

How could she speak like this was all just a normal everyday conversation? She was . . . and I was . . . It just didn’t make any sense. This wasn’t Heaven or Earth. For a second, I was going to ask her what I would have to sacrifice, or what my “test” might be, but I decided not to. I didn’t want to know. I figured I would find out eventually. I shuddered at the thought of what else I might have to sacrifice. Even as all my thoughts piled on top of each other, for some reason I was able to thrust them all to the side and be content that I stood in the presence of my mother, Abelie. The one person I thought I had lost forever. Did this mean that she would come back? That she wasn’t dead after all? If this was the Timeless Oblivion she knew before, and the other angels came back from here, couldn’t she do it again? The peaceful feeling returned in full measure. Maybe I could have her back.

Abelie continued talking without noticing my internal musings. “We were all here at one point, lost and confused. A young woman guided us through the Timeless Oblivion.”

“
Guided?”

She held my hand as she walked me across the soft cloud-ground. “Death is only the beginning, Gabriella. Sometimes we need someone to guide us through our difficult times.” Her eyes filled with an indescribable sadness. “And you have been through too many difficult times already.”

We were silent as we floated over the bleach-white ground.

I broke the silence. “Will you come back to life?” I asked.

“
No,” she barely whispered. “I’ll go on to the Ethereal Eternity.”

I put my hand on her arm—her very real, incredibly warm arm. I didn’t want to leave. If she couldn’t go back with me then I wanted to stay here with her. It was too much for her to be taken from me again—I just couldn’t go through that loss for the third time. She looked down at my hand, put hers on top of mine, and smiled dejectedly at me.

“
What’s the Ethereal Eternity?” I wondered. Was that heaven?

“
Where your journey will end—” She paused, and her eyebrows knitted together like she wasn’t sure she should say anymore. She took in a deep breath and let it out. The words “everlasting death” were nothing more than a sigh on her lips, but I heard it clearly. “They thought it would be best if I was the one to be your first guide on your journey,” she continued. “But it looks as though you won’t need much guidance while you’re here, seeing as how you’re already divine.”

Journey. Andrew told me about the Illuminator’s journey, but he didn’t know any specifics. But now I knew that it was a journey to a true, final death. I gulped.

“
Who’s ‘they’?” I spluttered.

“
The Guardian Spirits,” she replied simply.

This was all so confusing. “What now? And what kind of sacrifice will I have to make?” I asked reluctantly.

She smiled again. “Haven’t you sacrificed enough?”

I nodded. “More than I care to remember.” I caught sight of her aqua green eyes, which were full of tears. Real, human tears. “They’re not gold,” I barely mouthed, reaching up to touch them. They were so real—she was so real.

“
I’m not an immortal anymore. I have no body, only a soul. That’s all that is left of me. What you see—what you feel—is an illusion, but I’m still here.” She cupped my cheeks between her palms. “It’s still me, and I still love you. I’m here for you.” The heartwarming look on her face was enough to prove she loved me more than her own life.

“
No more sacrifices?” I double-checked, even though everlasting death seemed pretty sacrifice-y to me.

She shook her head. “Not any more. You have given of yourself to protect those around you. You have sacrificed your life and placed others before yourself. You don’t need to be tested. You’re worthy. You’ve always been worthy. Why do you think your three angels awoke in the plane?”

“
Andrew said it was because I was worth saving,” I admitted.

“
Exactly,” she agreed. “They were here, in this Timeless Oblivion, waiting for you. The Ladies of Light had bound them to the Earth when they turned them human and murdered them. The Guardian Spirits refused to let them continue on. They had a destiny—a purpose. You were that purpose.

“
When Lucia was turned human by the Ladies of Light and murdered, the Ladies didn’t realize the problem it would cause. First it was Ehno who lashed out, and then Andrew followed to protect his friend, his brother. The Ladies of Light were fed up, angry at their efforts being thwarted. So they tried to eliminate their problems permanently. In their efforts to kill the entire Halo of the Sun, the Guardian Spirits fought back and refused the Halos and the Guardians entry to the Ethereal Eternity or the Timeless Oblivion. The Guardian Spirits turned them to Shadows, creatures that would fight back against the Ladies of Light and could never be killed. The Ladies of Light altered the other angels’ minds to fight back against the Shadows—turning some of the Shadows into brutal beings after fighting many wars.

“
When the prophecy came about, the Ladies of Light erased pages of Zola’s words to prevent the others from knowing what they did—what they truly were. They didn’t destroy it all because they needed the angels to have hope in them. Little did they know that the Illuminator would come in the form of a human—an innocent, beautiful, human child. Aiden and I were clever. We beat them at their own game; we had seen pages of the prophecy that no one else knew about. We knew there was an assassin, the Soul Stalker, and we knew you were in trouble.

“
Then the Shadows found out about you. They thought the prophecy was about them, since they are the dark ones. But they were wrong—it was about the Ladies of Light. The name ‘Illuminator’ was chosen because you will bring light to those who are in shadow—not to kill them. Of course, the Ladies of Light already knew this, and all I could think about was saving you. Our only choice was to turn you into a mortal—which is why you’re here now.” She paused, watching my reaction. I urged her on with a flick of my wrist.

“
There will be no tests, no sacrifices. You’re the Darkness Illuminator, and your journey has already begun,” she concluded.

“
Does that mean you will come back until it’s over?”

“
No.” she almost spat the word as if she was furious about giving me that answer. “I wish I could.”

I hugged her to my chest, feeling every inch of her. “Will I remember any of this?” I whispered in her ear, repeating her words in my head,
None of them remembered afterward. I didn’t remember—I just woke up and knew I was different.

“
I’m afraid not,” she admitted.

I was jerked away. A jolt of electricity flooded through my body. Through my blue dress an even brighter, electric blue haze covered my skin. I looked like a blueberry. If I started to blow up like that girl in the Chocolate Factory . . . Another shock shot through me. It hurt, and I put my hand over my heart. It pumped once in my chest before going still.

“
What’s happening?” I shouted. Again, my heart tried to start its jagged beating in my chest and failed.

“
Shh
. It’s okay sweetie. It’s not time for you to die. You must go back. The Illuminator will not be hindered by death—not even her own. Your journey awaits you.”

It felt as though a live wire touched every inch of my skin. My heart exploded in my chest, pumping my rich, golden blood through my once still veins. Abelie faded, and I reached out to her, trying desperately to grab her, hoping to bring her back with me.

“
I thought you said no more sacrifices?” Didn’t she know that losing her for the third time was yet another sacrifice?

She blew me a kiss. Was that all I was going to get? I tried to cry out to her, but suddenly I was sucked out of the white place I’d like to call heaven. I tumbled through the air. I knew where I was going—to a place of punishment, torment, and misery. I was brought straight back to Earth, the embodiment of hell.

<>

It was dark, and I was on my back. I had a strange feeling I was in a refrigerator. It was cold. Really cold. Where was I? My fingers reached out and came in contact with something frigid and hard, like metal. Claustrophobia hit, and I reached out on all sides of me. Each time I hit freezing metal. Underneath, on top, to the sides, where my feet were—I was trapped. I screamed. It didn’t help. Where was Andrew? He wouldn’t leave me, would he?

“
Andrew?” I cried out. There was an echo.

Nothing.

Silence.

Memories flooded back to me: the funeral, the limo crashing, Andrew fighting against Jeff and the Soul Stalker. The last thing I remembered was a fireball piercing my chest and a branch knocking me dead. My hand automatically reached up to my temple and then down to my side. Had the Shadows kidnapped me? Was Andrew okay? I panicked, and strings of electricity shot from my fingers, jumping from one conductive surface to the next until the wall beyond my feet burst open. Fresh air rushed in, and I inhaled a deep breath of freedom.

Hastily, I pushed myself free of the frosty, confined space. It wasn’t any lighter outside the box-fridge, but it was warmer—much warmer. My body shook from the cold. I stilled, listening for a clue as to where I was. There was warmth on my hand, but I couldn’t see anyone.