Shadow of Sin (The Martin Family) (13 page)

Lost in the seduction of his touch, his voice, Samantha opened her eyes to see her reflection in the mirror. Her complexion carried a slight blush, not from embarrassment, but from arousal. A stray auburn curl tumbled into her eyes as she tilted her head and wondered what it would be like to see herself through Caleb’s eyes.

Did he see beyond the surface? Was she just the woman he was currently sleeping with, or did he see more than that?

Questions hell bent on driving her crazy.

“I think I like this dress, sugar,” he murmured.

Her knees wobbled as he trailed a finger over her silk covered pussy. There was no hiding how wet she was. Not with his fingers pressing against her most intimate flesh. He traced the outer edge of her panties, teasing her with the idea that he could slip inside at any moment and no one would be the wiser.

“Oh yeah, I definitely like this dress.” He pulled his hand away so abruptly, Samantha snapped her head around, searching for signs he’d been caught caressing her. They remained alone. “The question is, do you like it?”

She turned back around, resisting the urge to straddle his lap. “It has its advantages, but I’m suddenly thinking I owe you a surprise.”

He grinned. “How’s that?”

Samantha was taken by how easily he smiled around her now. “You are surprising me with a night out … where, exactly?”

He shook his head. “Nice try.”

“Right. So, I’m not going to tell you which dress I’m going to buy. And wipe that scowl off your face right now, Caleb Martin. You’re crazy if you think I’m letting you pay for it. Or the shoes.”

He playfully smacked her ass. “Then I’ll look forward to seeing which you choose, as well as peeling it from your body later tonight.”

She’d look forward to that as well. Mentally adding sexy lingerie to her list of things to purchase, her anticipation of the night ahead grew by the minute.

“I agreed to let you buy me lunch, so I hope you’re hungry. ’Cause, I’m starving.”

“I could eat.”

His heated glance warmed her to her toes. She tossed him a wink. “I’m counting on it.”

Chapter 13

With Samantha’s purchases secured in his newly repaired truck, Caleb drove them to a quiet restaurant at the edge of town. The afternoon had slipped away before they slid into a booth.

Caleb signaled the waitress and ordered two cold beers as Samantha stifled a yawn. Lack of sleep was starting to wear on her. Not that she was complaining. Caleb made going without sleep a worthwhile experience, but, at some point in the near future, she was going to crash hard. Caleb must be used to it, because he appeared more relaxed than she’d ever seen him.

She still couldn’t believe she was here with him. That she’d seen him naked, felt his hard length inside her. He’d whispered words in her ear that made her hot, mastered her body like no other, and each moment was burned into her brain for all time.

Her heart was history. It scared the crap out of her. If Caleb said jump, Samantha was terrified she’d ask
how high?
Too many years under her father’s roof had taught her how that would turn out.

Amanda’s words came back to her in a rush.

Caleb is not your father, Samantha. If you can’t realize that, let him go.

She wanted to believe it. Wanted more than anything to let her guard down. If she hadn’t known the kind of man Caleb was before, the time she’d spent with him had proven he wouldn’t hurt her.

Let him go. Could she really do it? Did she have a choice?

“You still with me?”

Samantha glanced up. Caleb reclined back, his gaze locked on her as if he wanted inside her head.

“Sorry. Zoned out for a second.”

“Are you okay?”

She was touched by his concern. “I’m fine. A little tired, if you want to know the truth, but otherwise, no worries.”

“Do you want to go home? There’s still time if you’d like to take a nap before we go out.”

“Do I look eighty?” she joked. “I know you aren’t talking about taking me to
my
home, and you know there won’t be any napping if you take me back to yours.”

It pained her to remind him if their situation, but she couldn’t go on like this. For her own sanity, clear lines needed to be drawn. She’d have a hard enough time going back to her life when this was over; her heart didn’t need anything else to cling to. Like the thought of a home with Caleb.

His jaw tightened. “If you want to be left alone, all you have to do is ask.”

“So, you’d let me go home then, alone, if I asked?” Oh, he walked right into that one.

The tic in his jaw worked overtime. “Alone? No. Not a chance.”

His arrogance should’ve pissed her off, but the truth was, it made her feel safe.
He
made her feel safe. “Lighten up, Cay. I’d actually prefer not to be alone right now. Call me crazy, but I think you’re starting to grow on me.”

His eyes sparked with amusement. “In a good way, right? Not like a fungus or something gross you’d like to be rid of?”

If he kept that charming shit up, he’d find out sooner, rather than later, how much he’d grown on her. She kicked off her flip-flop and teased her foot up the inside of his calf. “Definitely in a good way.”

He reached down and grabbed her ankle, bringing her foot to rest between his legs. She wiggled her toes, felt his cock begin to swell behind the denim. His hand pressed against her foot until she couldn’t move, his gaze blazing hot as his tongue dashed across his lips.

“Trouble,” he mumbled. “That’s what you are.” He loosened his grip, but didn’t release her. He cupped her foot in his hands and pressed his thumbs against her arch.

“So you’ve said. Time and time again.” She dropped her head back and closed her eyes, luxuriating in the feel of his hands on her, massaging her, relaxing her.

“I’m curious about you.” His voice drifted through her haze.

“Curious about what?”

“Everything. How you grew up, how you became a lawyer. What makes you, you.”

In the past, the only time he cared about what she was doing was when Alec or Amanda were involved. Even then, he’d only cared about them. Never her.

She peeked an eye open. “You act as though I haven’t been around. You could have learned all about me if you’d only paid attention.”

“I’m paying attention now.”

She sighed and pulled her foot from his grasp. “And why is that?”

He surprised her by reaching across the table to tuck a stray curl behind her ear. “Does it matter? Past is past. Can’t change it. Best to let it go.”

“Is that right? Just let it go, huh? I suppose you haven’t held on to anything in your past, have you?”

“We aren’t talking about me. We’re talking about you. I’m at a disadvantage, remember? You know about my family, now I want to know about yours.”

“Do you watch the news?”

“Yes.” He drew the syllable out, watching her suspiciously.

“Then you know everything I do. Probably more, because I tend to hit mute at the mere mention of my father.” Not entirely accurate. Mute … turn off … same thing right?

“And that’s what I want to hear about. The news doesn’t tell me why you never talk about them. Why you’re on your own.”

“I’m a grown woman. Why wouldn’t I be on my own?”

“Very funny. Don’t avoid the question. Why don’t you see your family?”

Samantha sipped at her beer as she thought about how best to answer his question. She hadn’t become close to Amanda or Brandon until after the plane crash that had taken the lives of their parents. She hadn’t known Caleb before he’d joined the military. She’d seen him a time or two when he’d come home on leave, but she couldn’t expect him to have known anything about her back then. He rarely spoke to her and when he did, it was short and sweet. Just enough not to be rude. After those first run-in’s, she’d not seen him again for a few years. If she hadn’t known better, she’d have thought he’d been specifically avoiding her.

Once he’d come home for good, she’d wondered if he resented her part in helping Amanda through her grief—when he, Brandon, and Alec had been ineffective in that regard.

For Caleb, Samantha had been an outsider.

The Martin’s were a tight, loving family. Samantha had met Caleb’s parents, not long after she’d left her own.

Sophia Martin had been a quiet, gentle woman who loved to cook and take care of her family. Samantha had never heard her raise her voice, but, oh lord, could that woman drop the smack when Samantha and Alec got into trouble. Sophia could’ve made a saint feel guilty—with just a look, they’d have been begging forgiveness at her feet and swearing to never sin again. And Samantha should know. She’d been the recipient of those looks from time to time when she and Alec were in high school. Sophia had a kind heart, had treated Samantha like one of them, like family. Samantha would always love her for that.

Douglas Martin was a whole other story. A career military man, Douglas had held his family together with a firm, yet fair, hand. Samantha remembered his voice, so much like Caleb’s, its timbre rich and deep. The kind of voice that rattled the bones when raised and soothed the soul when calm. Douglas had been quick to smile, and he loved his family more than any man Samantha had ever seen. And she owed him more than could’ve ever been repaid.

Caleb had loved his father, so how could he understand the hatred she had for her own? When it came to family, they came from two different worlds.

“It’s a long, boring story.”

“Somehow, I doubt that. Come on, Samantha.” He took her hands in his. “Talk to me.”

She jerked her hands away with a frustrated groan. She didn’t want to talk about this stuff. Ever. “How about we go back to your place and get naked instead?”

“Is that how you cope? Or, should I say, avoid? Is this a pattern I should be aware of?”

Her Irish temper reared its ugly head. “What do you want to hear, Caleb?” she fumed through her teeth, careful to keep her voice at a normal octave. “My father is a piece of shit and my mother is a fool who follows his every command. End of story.”

He was taken aback. “That’s pretty harsh.”

“I was being kind,” she said dryly. Somehow, she didn’t think she was getting out of this conversation. She drained the remaining beer from her glass and waved to the waitress for a refill. Sharing this particular part of her life required at least one more beer, maybe two, depending on how many times he interrupted her.

“You know, you can tell me anything.”

That wasn’t the problem. The problem was what he’d think of her after her story was out. Less than a week ago, he’d thought her the bane of his existence. The causer of trouble for himself and his siblings.

What would he think after he learned that she’d stood and watched her mother being beaten for something Samantha had done?

She swallowed back the bile that rose in her throat as she remembered the sounds of her mother’s cries. “My father is a wealthy, powerful man. He’s not nice. At all. He runs his household with the same strict, emotionless attitude as he does his corporations. Only when you mess up at work you just get fired. The repercussions at home were much more severe.”

“How severe?”

“You want my life story, Caleb? Well, here it is. My father stole my childhood. He stole my mother’s soul, although I’d doubt she’d agree with that statement. When I rebelled and he realized he couldn’t control me any longer, he tried to steal the money my grandfather had left for me.”

She lowered her voice, making sure she wouldn’t be overheard. “Where your father was firm, mine was violent. Where your home was filled with warmth and laughter, mine resembled a museum, the only sounds the occasional screams that resulted from something being out of place, or a command not obeyed.”

“He hit you?” His voice took on a deeper tone, one that vibrated with controlled fury, as though he knew already knew the answer.

She nodded, fighting back the tears that threatened. Damn it. After all these years, she shouldn’t have any more tears to cry for that time of her life. Like Caleb said, the past is past. Let it die and take its memories with it.

“Yes. Repeatedly. Whenever I did something he didn’t want me to do … like breathe, for instance. But that wasn’t the worst of it.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Caleb exploded. “It gets worse?”

Samantha darted a glance around the restaurant. “Settle down before you get us thrown out of here. I’d prefer not to share my business with the world and now people are staring. If you insist on having this conversation right this second, then just shut up and listen.”

She didn’t know if she could do this. Alec and Amanda were the only people she’d ever told about her father, and even they didn’t know the whole of it.

She could gloss over the highlights, but now that she’d started, she wanted to trust Caleb with her secrets. More than anything, she wanted to put her faith in him.

He
wasn’t
her father. Caleb might be controlling at times, but only because he cared about her safety, not because he desired her to be who and what he wanted.

She could feel his anger on her behalf. Caleb was a warrior, a protector of the innocent. Of course he’d be angry at the pain she’d suffered. She prayed he’d have the same faith in her once he knew the truth. He’d never abuse her trust, she had to believe that. She did believe it.

Because she was desperately in love with him.

For that reason alone, he deserved to know the truth.

“This isn’t easy for me, Caleb. I’ve tried hard to forget that part of my life. Or, as you so eloquently pointed out, avoided the memories.”

“Jesus, Samantha, I’m —”

“Don’t apologize.” A tear escaped the corner of her eye and she swiped at it. “Please don’t apologize. I can’t take it. You weren’t wrong. I’ve made some good decisions over the years, and I’ve made some bad ones. Some really bad ones. There’s no point in sugarcoating it, because I can’t go back and change it. My only hope is that I’m smart enough to learn from my mistakes. And if I can help someone along the way…” She shrugged a shoulder. “Even better.”

She stared into the past. “I was seven the first time it happened. I’d tripped over a loose piece of carpet and knocked over a priceless vase. It broke, of course. Instead of punishing me, my father punished my mother, believing it would cure me of being clumsy. The psychopath’s guide to reverse psychology. He made me watch. Threatened to make it worse if I cried or tried to help her. I didn’t move a muscle. Not that time, or any time, save one. I stood, still as a statue, and watched every lash, every punch.”

“He did this often?” Caleb’s voice was soft, but his tone was filled with disgust.

She stared at her lap, unable to meet his gaze for fear she’d break into a million pieces. She could handle his lust, but his loathing was something she’d never get over.

“Not once he realized his methods weren’t effective. I hated my mother almost as much as I hated him. Far too many times she’d stood as I had, watching as my lip split under his hand because I’d worn a color that offended him or slouched at the dinner table. Never once did she try to protect me or shield me from him. I used to think maybe I caused trouble out of spite, in hopes that she’d be punished and I could sit smugly by as it happened.”

A tear fell on her hand, followed by another before she could wipe them away. “But, that would’ve meant I was no better than they were.”

Caleb’s soft curse burned her ears. “You were a child, Samantha. You can’t possibly blame yourself for what happened.”

“I don’t. Not anymore.” She dared a glance at him, relieved he didn’t appear to be judging her. “It took me a while, but once I was out from under his thumb, I realized that no matter how many times he’d hit my mother, my first instinct had been to protect her. Once I got a little older, I tried, but my father was true to his word. I never tried again.”

“Wasn’t there anyone who could’ve helped you?”

She smiled at the familiar question. “Money and power buy a lot of things, Caleb. Silence. Loyalty. Add a healthy dose of fear and the answer is no. My mother covered for him and his employees turned the other cheek. I was on my own.”

The fact that he didn’t like her answer was written all over his face. “Do you worry about her?”