Shadow of Shame: Book 1 of the Shadow series (4 page)

Caleb shook his head. “I wish I could help. Is there anything you can do?”

Jonas sighed. “I have no idea. I’ve gone to church every Sunday, and I’ve prayed and prayed. I can’t really expect God to erase the memories of the whole town so they’d forget my past. I'm beginning to think my past will follow me for the rest of my life.”

Caleb sighed. “So how much are they asking for this time?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t opened the letter yet,” Jonas said.

“Keep praying, and if you need someone to talk to, or money, come to me, all right?”

Jonas rose and slapped his brother on the back. “Thanks, brother.”

No matter how hard Ivy tried she couldn’t get Jonas Armstrong off her mind. She hoped it was just an infatuation brought on by the ambiance of the straw ride, but she needed to find out for sure. How could she scheme to see him again?

Ivy lay sprawled on her bed watching the leaves fall from the tree outside her window. Then she jumped up. “I have it!” she said aloud.

She scrambled down the stairs, out of the house, and hopped on one of their horses, tied to the hitching post. She hadn’t even bothered to put on a riding skirt, so she had a bit of leg showing, but she knew if she took the short cut to Peggy’s through the woods behind their house, no one would see her.

When she got to Peggy’s house, she and Quinn were sitting on the front porch playing cards. After mutual greetings, Peggy asked, “Quinn is teaching me Whist, do you want to learn?”

“No. I’m a horrible card player.”

Ivy fidgeted for a few moments. “I was thinking of buying my own horse. Would you know where I could purchase one?” Ivy asked, as if she didn’t already know.

“Jonas, of course!” Peggy said, slapping down her hand of cards. “Ugh! I’ll never understand this game!”

“You’re doing fine, for a beginner,” Quinn said. “You just haven’t been getting good cards.”

“Well, I’ve had enough for today.” Peggy pointed to the lemonade. “Want something to drink, Ivy?”

Ivy declined with a shake of her head.

“Say,” Quinn said, “Boyd Egan is also looking to buy a new horse. I’m sure he’d be more than happy to take you to see Jonas.”

Ivy felt disappointed. She had hoped Quinn would offer. “I don’t know…” she started to say.

Quinn stood, put his hands on her shoulders, turned her toward his vacated chair, and pushed her gently into his seat. “To be honest, Ivy, Boyd has asked me to give him an opportunity to see you—spend time with you, somehow. This will be perfect. If you agree, that is.”

Ivy knew she could trust Peggy’s brother. While she didn’t know him well, she knew Peggy and her family and that was enough for her. She wasn’t as sure about Boyd. What would Jonas think if she showed up at his place with Boyd?

“I was hoping you and Peggy would go with me,” she said.

Peggy’s face took on the familiar, excited look that Ivy appreciated. “No, it will be good for you to spend some time with Boyd. He’s a pretty good fella. It'll help you get over…” she looked at her brother and then back to Ivy, “you know who,” she whispered.

“Who?” Quinn asked, with that same eye-opening expression his sister had. “Is there someone you’re interested in? Do tell.”

“No,” Ivy said quickly. “Peggy meant a young man I met on the straw ride. I met one I thought was fine, but it turned out to be a strong case of like instead,” Ivy explained.

“Oh, I see. Happens to me all the time,” he said. “So, should I set it up for you to go with Boyd?”

“If Peggy comes with us I guess it’s all right,” Ivy said.

“Of course I will.” Peggy patted Ivy’s hand.

Ivy thought Boyd somewhat attractive, but not as handsome as Jonas, or even as Quinn. His face had strong, chiseled features, and a wide nose, while Jonas’s face was sculpted in a firm, attractive way, with a strong, aquiline nose. Boyd had darker hair than Jonas, and while he had long, curling eyelashes that one noticed right away, his eyes didn’t twinkle or show the sincerity that Jonas’s eyes did. He was also shorter, and not as muscular.

Ivy had a hard time describing, even to herself, what she’d felt when she’d met Jonas. It wasn’t like in the poems and romance books. Her heart didn’t skip a beat and she didn’t get goose bumps, but she had a strong desire to stay in his company, like she'd felt a sort of magnetic pull toward him. She didn’t feel that way with Boyd. Though he seemed pleasant enough, and very eager to please, the fact that he had asked Quinn to push them together had put her off a bit.

Boyd picked up Ivy and Peggy at the Iverson’s' and they rode together to Jonas’s stables, down the long, rutted path that led to Jonas’s property. A large house off to the right faced the stables on the opposite side of the path leading to the property.

Jonas came out to meet them long before they reached the house. His eyes skimmed over Peggy and Boyd but lingered on her. Now she did feel something physical, a little twinge in her chest. His eyes quickly shifted from her, as he welcomed them all.

“Have you met Ivy Jeffries?” Boyd asked.

“Yes, I had the pleasure the night of the straw ride.” He nodded at Ivy.

Ivy felt a pleasant twinge in her chest. What was wrong with her?

“Ivy is interested in a horse,” Peggy said.

“She is? Well, then,” Jonas said with a smile, “she came to the right place.”

Boyd quickly jumped down from his horse, and rushed to help Ivy from hers, leaving Jonas to assist Peggy. “She’d like an easy to manage horse, but not a nag, if you know what I mean,” Boyd said.

“I do. I have several that would be perfect for her.” Jonas gave Ivy a wink. “I won’t give you a stallion or bucking bronco.”

Ivy couldn’t control the wide smile she gave Jonas, because it was automatic. She liked his humor. Boyd led her to the barn with his arm at her waist. She noticed Jonas’ frown, but wasn’t sure if Boyd’s possessiveness was the reason. Maybe it was wishful thinking on her part, but she moved away from Boyd and scrambled ahead to catch up with Peggy, who led everyone excitedly, since she knew the way.

Ivy felt again, like she wanted to be near Jonas, that same, strong desire to be in his company. There was something about him that she couldn’t quite put a name to. He was pleasant and courteous, but there was this sparkle in his eyes when he looked at her that she found irresistible. She supposed strong
like
was a possibility, but she'd have to get to know him better. Maybe, after a while, that feeling would fade.

The stables weren’t dark, as she’d expected, for the double barn doors were wide open on both ends of the stable. Ivy saw more wooden stalls with horses inside than she’d ever seen before. She must have looked stunned, for Peggy said, “Wait, this is only half of his stock.”

Halfway through the stable, another corridor led to another row of stalls, just like the first. The pathways between them made the stable shaped like the letter “H.” The stables were surprisingly spotless, and there wasn’t the usual, stable odor. She saw a man in overalls sweeping out a stall on the far end.

Occasionally, as they walked, a horse would whinny when it saw Jonas, and he patted a few noses as he walked through the rows. He stopped at the far right corridor, about halfway to the end.

“Ivy, these four stalls contain horses that would be perfect for you, and they're not very expensive, either.” He pointed to the first one. “This is a young mare.” He patted her head.

“May I?” Ivy said, holding her hand near the horse’s nose.

“Certainly,” he said. “She loves people.”

Ivy giggled when the sable-colored horse nibbled at her palm.

“She’s five years old and just finished her season, but she isn’t in foal.”

Ivy touched her temples with both hands. “Wait! What is ‘season’ and ‘in foal?’”

Ivy watched Jonas actually blush, and then heard Boyd laugh loudly.

“I’ll try to explain,” Jonas said. He gave Boyd a warning look. ‘Season’ means she finished her time…er…the time that a horse can increase…um…” He faltered for the words.

“I see,” Ivy said. “I get it now, and since I know what a foal is, I realize that if I take this horse I won’t have to worry about her increasing on me.”

Jonas smiled as if in relief. “Thank you. Yes, at least not this year. And I’d let her go fairly cheap because she hasn’t gotten in foal in two seasons, so she might have an infertility problem.”

They walked to the next stall. This one's a filly, and a bit young for you, but he’s available.”

Ivy looked at the grayish horse. He didn’t come to the gate, but stood with his back to them, chewing straw.

“As you can see, he isn’t as sociable as the mare.”

They came, next, to a ginger-colored horse with a beige mane and tail. The horse whinnied at seeing Jonas and nudged his shoulder.

“This is a male gelding. I would highly recommend this horse because a gelding is more obedient and gentle, and this one is well trained. He is only five years old, and…well, watch.”

Jonas opened the gate to the stall, and the horse trotted out and stood by Jonas. Jonas pointed to the open door and patted the horse’s hindquarter lightly. The horse ran out into the fenced area, galloping around like he enjoyed the freedom. Jonas whistled, and the horse stopped, turned back, and ran right to Jonas.

“Oh, my!” Ivy and Peggy said in unison.

Jonas stroked the horse, fondly.

“Would he do that for anyone?” Ivy asked.

“Once he’s bonded with someone, yes.” Jonas patted the horse’s neck. “I chose him for my brother, Caleb, because he thinks he can’t ride a horse. Caleb isn’t confident riding since his accident a few years back. I thought I could talk him into this one, and I trained him especially for Caleb, but he refused.”

“How does your brother get around, then?” Ivy asked. She eyed Peggy and Boyd who were walking toward another horse, talking animatedly.

“He has a buggy that’s special made, and he has a farmhand who does all-round help for him.” Jonas’s fondness for his brother showed as he spoke of him. He smiled. “Although, since he moved into his own house, he’s been doing more and more for himself.  He’s stubborn that way.  You’d like Caleb.”

Ivy returned his smile. She knew she would like Caleb.

“I have just one question: what's a gelding?”

“A gelding is a male horse who’s been fixed so he can’t cause a female horse to increase.” This time Jonas felt more comfortable with his wording. “It makes him gentler and easier to handle.”

They both went to touch the gelding’s nose simultaneously, and their hands touched. Both of them pulled back quickly. Ivy wondered if he'd felt the same electric-like shock she’d felt when their hands touched. She looked up at his face to catch him biting his lip, before quickly turning away. Maybe he did, she thought.

Since Peggy and Boyd stood talking by another stall, Jonas whispered. “If you don’t tell a soul, I’ll let you have this horse—no charge.”

“You will?” She looked into Jonas’s expressive brown eyes. “Why?”

“Because I think he’d be perfect for you. He can’t be bred, and I have no other use for him. Like I said, I had him gelded and trained for Caleb.”

“I would have chosen this one anyway,” she said, and smiled at him. “Thank you.”

“Do you want to take him today?” Jonas asked, breaking their eye contact.

Ivy’s mind reeled. How could she put this in a subtle way? She wanted to see him again, but without Peggy and Boyd. “Could I pick him up tomorrow?”

“Yes, certainly. In fact,” he whispered, “it would be better, since they,” he nodded toward Peggy and Boyd, “would wonder why no money had been exchanged.”

Ivy smiled, and Jonas winked, which Ivy interpreted as: it'll be our little secret.

Jonas frowned as Boyd helped Ivy mount her horse and he noticed him holding her waist longer than was necessary. Leave it to Boyd to want the only woman he’d ever longed for. He sighed inwardly. At least Boyd was free to court her.

Jonas assisted Peggy, then waved them farewell as they trotted down the pathway.

He sat on his porch rocker and watched them ride away until they’d disappeared. His mood turned morose again. So many “what ifs” plagued him. Ivy was everything he would ever want in a woman. He'd thought it the first time he saw her, but now he was sure of it. He felt sparks fly every time their eyes met. He’d felt a jolt when their hands had touched. He pounded the arms of his chair. He
had
to do something.

It would be impossible to erase his past and his reputation, and once it got back to Ivy, he knew, she’d want no part of him. It didn’t matter how pristine his life was now, because his past would always haunt him.

He knew Minnie’s baby, Zoe, now lived with her grandmother, Beulah Kreider. Quinn had told him the stepfather, Mr. Hayes, had moved on, even before Minnie had given birth. Beulah had taken the baby the day of Minnie’s funeral. Since that day, Beulah had demanded money for the child’s support. She knew he wasn’t the father—heck, anyone who saw Zoe could see—but she claimed that legally, since
his
wife delivered the babe, he alone was responsible. He didn’t really mind supporting the child, but recently Beulah had begun to raise the support, and she threatened to expose Zoe to everyone if he refused. In her words: “Pay up, or I’ll drop her right on your doorstep, and everyone will be reminded of your sordid past.” Now the demands had grown to a totally outrageous amount.