Shadow of Regret (Shadow #3) (7 page)

Ingrid helped Quinn into the chair. “How does that feel?” she asked.

“Wonderful. I was tired of looking at the ceiling.”

“Since this is your first time up, I’ll not leave you sitting for too long. I’ll let you eat some oatmeal and juice while you’re up though.” She positioned a table in front of his chair and set a tray on it for him. “I’ll be back in thirty minutes,” she said.

He managed to eat a few swallows of oatmeal—never his favorite breakfast, but he drank all of his orange juice. It felt good to be vertical  again.  He hoped he’d soon be on his feet and back in his own apartment.

Lavinia and Rose moved into the house on Eden Road. It was a much nicer home than the one the church had provided. It also had a larger stable, and was closer to Jonas and Ivy’s house. She wanted to find another opportunity to sneak off, and see Quinn, but with the chaos of moving, she had little chance.

Her mother came up behind her as she was standing on the front porch. She wrapped her arms around Rose’s shoulders. “Why so sad, dear daughter?”

“I miss Quinn. I’m worried about him.”

Lavinia dropped her arms. “It’s for your own good, Rose. Someday you’ll thank me.”

“No,” she laughed cynically, “I won’t.”

“Listen, I’ll tell you what I’ll do. This should make you happy—whenever two parties cannot agree, it’s best to compromise. I’ll bring the new minister over to see Quinn as soon as possible. I’ll explain what happened to him, and how he’s turned his back on God. He’ll talk to him. I’m sure it’ll help. He’s flat on his back, and will have no choice but to listen.”

The “compromise,” as her mother called it, did not make Rose happy until a mischievous idea popped into her head. “Will you let me know when you’re going to visit, so I can pray while you’re gone?”

“Of course. I’ll ride out today and ask him. He’s a very nice man.” Lavinia turned Rose around to face her. “I do love you, Rose. I only want what’s best for you.”

Rose returned the smile.

Later that afternoon, Lavinia returned from visiting John Martin, and approached Rose. “He’s pleased to have such a challenge right at the start of his career here. He said he’d visit early tomorrow morning, and I’m going with him, she said. “
Now
do you feel better?”

Rose smiled, “I do feel better. Thank you.”

Very early the next morning, Lavinia knocked on Rose’s door. Rose had just finished dressing, but she flew into bed and pulled her blanket up to her chin when her mother knocked. “Yes, come in.”

“I’m going to pick up Reverend Martin, now. You wanted to know so you could pray while I was gone.”

“Thank you. I will.” Rose said, pretending to be sleepy.

As soon as her mother’s buggy rounded the lane and turned onto the road, Rose flew out of bed, and outside to saddle her horse. She rode like the wind to Ivy and Jonas’s, and sneaked in the back door as she had before.

Quinn was asleep. Perfect.

She kicked off her shoes and curled up beside him. She wiggled in place a bit until she felt Quinn’s arm go around her. Then she lay still, and waited for the action to begin.

She was afraid Quinn would awaken and spoil things, but his breathing had returned to a normal, soft, snoring pattern, and she knew he slept soundly.

Rose had to wait so long she thought she would fall asleep herself. Then she heard the buggy, and then the knock on the front door, and then greetings. She closed her eyes and waited. It was only moments later that the door opened and she heard a loud gasp.

“Rose!” her mother yelled.

“What is
this
?” the new minister asked.

Rose opened one eye slightly, and saw four shocked faces, standing in the doorway: Martin’s, her mother’s, Ivy’s, and Jonas’s.

“I’m so sorry,” Lavinia said. “Let’s go into the sitting room.” Rose peeked beneath her lashes and saw them retreat. She turned and sneaked a peek at Quinn. His eyes were open, and he was staring at the ceiling. 

“What in blazes did you do?”
he said with emphasis, but not with anger.

“I’m sorry, Quinn,” she said.

He didn’t shout at her or scold her. Instead he tightened his hold on her and kissed the top of her head. “You know what will happen next, don’t you, little one?”

She nodded.

“Why?” he whispered. “Why would you do something like this?”

“Because I love you, and I don’t want anyone else. They wouldn’t even let me see you.” Tears ran down her cheeks, and Quinn wiped them away with his fingers. “It’s always been you, and always will be you.”

“But your reputation—”

“I don’t care.” She snuggled closer to him.

“I think,” he said slowly, but gently, “that you should get up now, and act at least a little guilty. Act as if you didn’t realized you’d be caught.”

Rose nodded, sat up and moved to the chair, and put her shoes back on. They both waited in silence for the second act.

Lavinia, Ivy and Jonas walked in minutes later. “Well, dear daughter,” her mother said sternly, “it looks like you win. The wedding will take place immediately.” She turned and left the room.

Jonas winked, and Ivy started to smile, but bit her lip as if she were trying to stop it from forming. They both left the room.

Rose looked at Quinn who had his arm over his eyes.  “Are you angry with me, Quinn?”

“Angry?” he said calmly. “No, it’s not anger that I feel.”

“What then?”

“First of all, I’m shocked. I had no idea you had so much mischief in you. Secondly, I fear you’ve made a big mistake. You have no idea what you’ve done.”

“You don’t want to marry me?” she asked.

“I didn’t want to marry again,
ever
, but it looks as though you’ve taken that choice out of my hands,” he said.

“Am I wrong in thinking that you return my love?” she asked.

“No. You aren’t wrong. I do love you. I realized that the day at the cemetery. You’ve spoiled me for other women. But, I can’t…I can’t…it has to be a platonic marriage. I will never, ever make love to you, Rose. No matter how much I want to.”

Rose got up from the chair and stood by his bed. “Why not?”

“I will never get a woman with child again, that’s why. And, especially not
you
. I love you too much to lose you in childbirth. I’m having a difficult time getting over what happened with Martha, and now you expect me to do it all over again—no I can’t. I
won’t
. She’d be alive today if I hadn’t—”

“I’ll settle for a platonic marriage, then.  At least I’ll have you. I’ll see you every day and I’ll take care of you,” she said.

Quinn simply shook his head.

Quinn wasn’t surprised to see the small group appear in his room that afternoon. His soon-to-be mother-in-law, Jonas, Ivy, Rose, and the man who'd appeared in his room earlier, whom he'd assumed was the new minister. Jonas had been rushing around all morning getting the license, having Quinn sign it, and returning to the courthouse to have it recorded.

Jonas had to support Quinn so he could stand before the group. He took Rose’s hand. The minister began to read the vows—the very same vows—that had been read the last time he tied the knot. He thought about how different it would be if he were marrying now for the first time, and was oblivious to the dangers an intimate relationship might bring. If only he and Rose could look forward to a playful and memorable honeymoon—but there would be none of that for them. Even so, he felt nothing but love for Rose, and he squeezed her hand tightly, to make her feel less frightened.

His Rose looked pale when she repeated the vows. At seventeen, he could only imagine how frightening this situation must be. She still wore black because she was in mourning, but someone had put a white-laced collar around her neck to break up the monotony of her black clothes.

When his turn came, he repeated his vows, looking deeply into Rose’s eyes. Since the vows didn’t make him say he promised to be intimate, he meant every word of them.

He noticed that the minister had skipped the part about him kissing the bride. He shrugged. He’d get his kiss later, in private, instead of in front of everyone.

Two shotgun weddings in one lifetime had left him numb, but he smiled at Rose, all the same. He’d try to make the marriage a good one, for her sake. He’d do almost anything for Rose.

When everyone had left—he knew there would be no celebration dinner—he was left alone with his bride.

“Well, Mrs. Iverson, what do we do now?” he asked.

“You have to heal some before we can leave here,” she answered.

“Pray tell, where will we go? I’ve lost everything.”

“What?”

“No one told you? The couple who shot me stole everything I had, including livery stock.”

“What about your apartment in town?”

“It’s small, but it will have to do,” he said. “Will you mind?”

“Not as long as I’m with you.”

“I didn’t get my ‘now you may kiss the bride’ kiss," he said with a wink.

“Mother had Martin remove it from the vows. She said she couldn’t bear to see you kiss me.”

“She hates me that much?”

“I don’t think she hates you; she just hates what you’ve become.”

He studied her carefully. Her mother was right. He
had
messed up his life. It was his loose living that gave “Daisy” the opportunity to ruin him in the first place. He did love Rose, and maybe something good would eventually come of this. Maybe she would be the one to bring him some semblance of a life he wasn’t ashamed of.

Quinn started to feel tired. He sat in the chair and patted his lap. “C’mon here, Rose.”

She sat on his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. Quinn kissed her, passionately. She leaned into him, and he knew they wouldn’t be able to do much of this, either—it was too tempting. He gently broke the kiss.

“We can’t be kissing like that too much,” he said. “If I continue to heat you up with passionate kisses it'll seem like I’m teasing you, and I don’t want to do that. It can’t happen, Rose. Are you sorry now that you forced this upon us?”

She shook her head. “No. I can live with it. It’s better than not having you at all.”