Shadow of Love (35 page)

Marlene smiled at Emily, her eyes brighter now.

‘
But we managed, for the most part. Sophie did better than I, since you know yourself I get my episodes even now, years later. She forgot all about it; a toddler’s memory is a fragile thing. A year or two after that horrible experience, she was almost back to normal, and getting better every day. I swore to myself I would never do anything that could hurt her again, Emily.’

She watched Emily nod and sighed, her voice soft.

‘
Your dad was the best thing that could ever have happened to us. He was so wonderfully reliable and caring, I knew right away we would be safe with him and you.’ Her eyes went to Emily’s face as she explained. ‘Don’t think I was all cold and manipulative, darling. I loved your father, as much as I was ever able to love any man. He restored my trust in men and love. And I was delighted to have you as a sister for my daughter. I hoped you two would become friends, finally giving her some normal girly life and stability. And it worked beautifully, didn’t it?’

She couldn’t tell Marlene how awkward and inexperienced she felt around Sophie in those early days. Whatever happened since the horrid days when she was a child, Sophie had grown into a strong-willed and vain teenager, confident and proud.

Luckily, Marlene didn’t wait for her to say anything.

‘
When your father died so unexpectedly, I was truly heartbroken.’ She whispered now, her lovely eyes filling with fresh tears. ‘But I thought we were strong enough to be alone, the three of us.

‘
Steve was someone unexpected, darling. I had not planned on remarrying, to be honest. But he was caring, soft-spoken, and genuinely fond of me, his affection for the two of you an added bonus.’ Marlene sighed again, looking away toward the window. ‘I really liked him, though I think he loved me much more. I thought we would be together forever, believe me.’

‘
But he didn’t do anything. You must have known that.’ Thawing from her frozen state, Emily felt her anger return. Steve was dead, paying for mistakes from the past that weren’t even his.

‘
When I heard of him molesting Sophie, my world collapsed,’ Marlene said softly, almost ashamed. ‘All I could think was
God, please not again, not to her
. It felt like
deja vu
, my blindness from the past coming back to haunt me again.’

‘
He was exonerated, you heard it. Sophie lied, terribly and completely. How could you let her get away with it?’ She was yelling, but she didn’t really care.

‘
What she said, describing what he did, was exactly what happened to her as a child,’ Marlene said tonelessly, her eyes vacant. ‘I listened to it and knew she had it stored somewhere in her brain, even though she didn’t remember a thing. I was so terrified they would start digging into her past, her medical history holding the whole report of the assault years ago. I was panicking that they would bring it up, and she would find out what happened; all those years of careful planning and protecting her would be lost. She would find out her own father raped her repeatedly and was alive in jail long after she believed him dead. I just couldn’t do it, I couldn’t.’

She hid her face in her hands, her hunched shoulders speaking of hopelessness and defeat.

‘
So, I lied to her and you and the whole world. I made sure nobody would destroy Sophie’s peace of mind. I knew Steve was innocent, but couldn’t risk having him around, maybe triggering some flashback in Sophie’s memory. He had to go, as far as possible.’ Her face went up, searching Emily’s pale face with a pleading expression. ‘I never meant for him to die, Emily. Never. I thought he would hate me and divorce me and disappear, leaving us safe again. When I heard about his suicide attempt, I was frantic. I thought that if Sophie found out and felt guilty, she might relapse into the state of misery I remember from her childhood. And I had to protect her, I owed her that much. I failed her before. That’s all, Emily. Now you know the whole truth, my dear, and if you still think me worthless, so be it.’

She finished, the silence that followed interrupted only by the soft sound of their breathing.

Emily sat in silence, her thoughts as chaotic and confused as the story she had just heard. She felt horrible for Sophie, she thought, shivering at the memory of all those things that happened to her sister, each of them worse than the last one. But what did it mean for the present?

She thought of James and his plan, knowing deep down in her heart that she could never let him go through with it. But he wouldn’t get a chance anyway, would he? Sophie had made it clear, she was not interested in their engagement, her rediscovered affection for Peter making it obsolete, to say the least. Where it left James and his carefully staged deception, God only knew.

She had to talk to him, as soon as possible. He might be furious and even think she was a part of the sudden change of heart her sister had undergone in a mere two days, but it didn’t matter. She wanted to tell him what had happened before he went even further, publishing those awful photos and destroying her in the eyes of her family. Because after all, they were family, she thought, suddenly terrified of what would happen next.

She had agreed to his plan only because of the restaurant. That was a fact as solid as the rock on which the famous lighthouse Pharos was built back in the hot air of Alexandria. But was it?

If she were to be completely honest with herself, it wasn’t the house or the business that made her say yes to his madness. It was the promise of being around him, his presence in her life extended for as long as they were in it together that had become her undoing. From the first second she saw him, staring at her with his cold eyes across the people-filled room, her world suddenly stilled, everything paused on the verge of a precipice that couldn’t be crossed. She had been mad to agree to his idea, she thought now, blinking away her tears.

“
Emily, darling, there is something more.’ Her stepmom’s voice, audibly uncomfortable, brought her back to the room and their conversation. She looked at Marlene, who held out some sheets of paper. She knew what they said, even before she read the two-page contract, the words ‘sale’ and ‘buyer’ popping out of the even, spidery print.

‘
I should have contacted you about it, I know. I just knew you would be against it, and I needed money for Sophie and me. There was no way around it, believe me. Of course one third of it is yours, darling.’

Marlene’s voice, hesitant and pleading, broke through her silence, and she swallowed hard, her throat tight. She could see with absolute clarity that things would never change. Marlene would always put Sophie first, her well-being and safety her one major concern. As much as she was fond of Emily, there was no way she would consider her even half as important as her daughter.

Maybe that was the way people became after having such a horrid past together? Marlene might have told her all about what happened, hoping for her to understand, yet it didn’t change the facts. Her daughter came first, and if it meant cheating Emily of her rights, so be it.

People who loved someone didn’t play fair, she thought, putting the paper back on the table, unable to stay in the room any longer. She needed to get away from it and the lies and regrets that threatened to drag her under, destroying whatever good and pure was left in her heart.

‘
I know what it’s all about, Marlene,’ she said calmly, ignoring the gasp of disbelief and walking to the door. ‘It’s fine, believe me. I hope you will be happy with the money, I honestly do.’ Her hand reached for the doorknob, and she opened it with a decisive motion.

‘
But for now, you have to excuse me,’ she said with an air of authority that made Marlene pause. ‘There’s someone I need to talk to immediately. I hope you understand.’

And she left.

Her bravado lasted only enough for her to reach her car, her body collapsing behind the wheel as she cried uncontrollably, her whole body racked by sobs until her eyes ran dry and her throat felt like sandpaper. She had wanted to know what guided Marlene in her obsession about her daughter, and she knew. Only wishing to know and actually knowing meant two entirely different things. Never in a thousand years had she expected it to be so dark and so horrible, her heart going out to her stepsister.

It seemed, though, that Sophie had gone through some serious soul-searching in the last few days. Her shock about Peter’s accident propelled her onto a different level of her personal universe—a universe where love was possible, where there was forgiveness and patience, the ultimate happy ending just around the corner. Maybe, for the first time in her life, Sophie was doing things out of love instead of following her own whimsy. Emily’s brain was still trying to wrap around the fact that Sophie and Peter were back together.

Which brought her to the other matter, she thought as she wiped her cheeks. All the tears in the world couldn’t change the fact she had to talk to James, the sooner the better. It had nothing to do with her fear he might change his mind about the restaurant once he realized all his plans fell through. She wanted him to be prepared for what would happen, she thought, aware of how pathetic it sounded. He had lost his bet on treating Sophie the way she deserved, leaving him with nothing but cutting his losses and moving on.

All she could wish for was to find him accommodating enough to listen to her plea to forgo the series of photos of the two of them. She would make him see that it would destroy her relationship with her sister, however fragile and difficult it already was. The last few days convinced her that he was different from the image he tried to project when they first met. He was warm, caring, funny, and absolutely worth….

She stopped herself in time, a flush of embarrassment warming her cheeks. There was no point in making things even more difficult than they already were. She had to stick to the script and walk away with her head held high, any notion of baring her heart ridiculous and futile. He didn’t care for her that way, she reminded herself. The few short instances that gave her hope that she might have been wrong about that were nothing but her wishful thinking.

Yet her brain refused to accept it, images of what happened rising before her eyes as she drove on, her hands shaking slightly on the wheel. She remembered them talking, his eyes on her with a peculiar expression, as if he wanted to say something more. And the way he held her in the souk, as if she were the most precious thing in the whole world. And there was the episode in the bedroom, of course.

He hadn’t tried to repeat it, though. The last evening in his grandmother’s house, she left the room earlier and lay awake, too wound up to go to sleep. She would rather die than admit it, but it was the hope of seeing him again, after he left his family in the salon, that kept her awake, minute after painful minute. She had hoped he would come by to check on her, her body as tense as a bow ready to sling an arrow. She feared his coming, but couldn’t wait for it either.

And then, as time passed, the chirping of the cicadas outside her window loud and insistent, she realized he would not come. He could have had any excuse to talk to her, if he wanted. Biting her lips to stop herself from crying, she had watched the golden light of the large moon travel against her wall, the eerie shadows of the tree branches moving in the light night breeze.

There was no point pretending anymore. They might have shared some special moments together, the memories etched into her mind forever, but they hadn’t meant that much to him, by any stretch.

She was almost at his office when it occurred to her, belatedly, that she didn’t even know if he was there. She knew the address, one of the first bits of information he gave her before their trip to Egypt. That and his cell and office number, his voice serious as he asked her to call him at any time in case of emergency. This certainly counted as one, didn’t it?

She pulled over to the side of the road and punched in the number with shaking fingers, holding her breath as she waited for him to pick up. She decided to try the office in case he was in an important meeting, her call not one he would welcome during delicate negotiations.

The phone rang a few times, the dull signal beeping repeatedly without being answered. She was about to hang up when f a rushed female voice answered, breathless as if the woman had been running.

‘
Mr. McMaster’s office, how can I help you?’

‘
Hi, it’s Emily Beggins here. I was just wondering if he’s in his office today,’ Emily said clumsily. She hadn’t expected anyone else to pick up, imagining him as more of a modern, hands-on guy with no old-fashioned secretary barrier any caller had to pass.

‘
James had to take a day off, unfortunately. May I give him a message?’ The woman was impeccably polite, her voice carrying just enough smile in it to make the caller comfortable.

‘
I need to talk to him in person,’ Emily explained, hoping she didn’t sound too desperate or pushy. ‘Do you think I can call him on his cell, or is he in some kind of meeting?’

‘
God, no.’ There was a short bark of laughter at the other end, the woman audibly relaxing. Maybe she thought that since Emily had his cell, she couldn’t be a complete stranger after all.

‘
I think he might be busy at his new house, the one he bought in the countryside,’ the woman explained, her smart way of saying just enough making Emily smile. It was up to her to do something with the information, no private details revealed.