Shadow of Love (19 page)

Emily reacted with the only proper answer, her feeling of guilt and compassion silenced long enough to help her get through. She told them both she would be leaving for Egypt in two days, the seminar something of a last-minute opportunity she wasn’t about to miss.

‘
Why Egypt?’ Sophie repeated, her long, perfectly manicured fingers playing with the beads of her chunky bracelet. ‘I mean, isn’t there anything closer to home?’

If Emily thought it was concern for her wellbeing that guided her sister to ask, she was soon enlightened, the next sentence explaining the true reason of her worries.

‘
I just think that this is a really bad time, Emily. We have a few events planned for the end of this week, remember? The wedding on Saturday and the brunch for the McBills, the next day. I would think you wouldn’t be leaving it all to me, sis.’ She pouted, her large blue eyes woeful.

Well, she picked the wrong moment for appealing to her conscience, Emily decided, still smarting from the discovery of being taken advantage of to a degree that left her breathless. She wanted to scream that it shouldn’t really matter, since the restaurant was being sold as they spoke. One more or less successful party wouldn’t make a difference to people who had already given up on the place. Instead, she bit her lip and let it slip, a strange calm coldness taking over her whole body. It felt as if she had been frozen, all the memories and emotions that tied her to those two women suspended in a vacuum that left her empty and spent.

‘
I will be back by Friday, Sophie,’ she explained patiently, noticing Marlene coming back to the table. Her stepmother looked better, she decided, as if the whole depressed aura that haunted her for the last few weeks finally dissipated, bringing back the healthy, happy woman she had been.

‘
So, if there’s anything urgent, I can always attend to it at the last moment.’ She wanted to add spitefully ‘or you can text me’ which was Sophie’s usual line. Not that it ever worked, the phone barely picked up and messages checked with frequency that made her hope nobody would ever rely on Sophie’s response in case of a real emergency.

‘
I think it’s a grand idea.’ Marlene surprised them both with her support, her china blue eyes lively. ‘It can’t hurt to learn a thing or two, darling.’

And it was really convenient to have her out of the picture during the final steps of the sale, Emily thought bitterly, tears prickling behind her eyelids. She could read between the lines enough to understand that it wasn’t her concern for the restaurant that made Marlene such an avid supporter of her idea.

‘
You’ll have me, sweetie,’ Marlene turned to her still sulking daughter, her face so full of unconditional devotion that suddenly Emily realized the total futility of it all. It didn’t matter what she did and how hard she worked to be a part of their equation. She could never as much as put a foot into the door of the temple built to worship Sophie. Marlene would always stand behind her, eager to please her and fulfill her every wish. James’s words about her stepmother disliking any of her daughter’s suitors came back to mind, the fact that he saw through it all in a span of days while she remained blind for so many years hurting even more.

‘
Well, at least James will be here to keep me busy.’ Sophie smiled softly, her face brightening instantly. So, he truly hadn’t told her anything about his trip yet. She had been an unconvincing liar all her life, and she worried they would read her face like an open book. She didn’t need to worry though, because Sophie stared somewhere into space, a dreamy smile playing around her mouth. Marlene was watching her daughter worriedly, her nervous gaze darting around the room only to come back to her face over and over again.

‘
Well, then,’ she said finally, looking at Emily with bright eyes and a smile that should have come across as encouraging. ‘If you’re so sure you want to go, we won’t be trying to stop you.’

So, that was it. Was she really insane enough to go with James to a place where nobody knew her, his hand her only lifeline? After what she had seen of him so far, he was a lot of things that made her afraid, she thought as she sipped her drink. But cruelty wasn’t one of them, her eager brain supplied, not even close. He might have hated them all and wished them to be exposed to some kind of belated punishment—understandably so, after what he had said about his relationship with her stepdad.

‘
Where are you going to be staying?’ Sophie looked back at her, suddenly interested. For one awful moment, Emily worried that she might want to tag along after all, the necessity of lying even more in that case making her positively sick.

‘
They have some guest rooms adjacent to the restaurant,’ she said dismissively, hoping that it sounded dull enough for Sophie to write it off. Which she did, judging by the way her mouth turned down in disapproval.

‘
Sounds boring,’ she said, wiping her juice-stained fingers on a napkin. ‘Well, at least you might get to see some local hunks after hours, Em. That must be worth something, right?’ she added playfully, her blue eyes mischievous.

‘
Sophie, don’t say things like that.’ In a rare moment of assertiveness, Marlene came to Emily’s rescue, even before she had a chance to come up with an answer. ‘Those Middle Eastern men are not to be taken lightly. You can never know what goes on in their barbaric, chauvinistic heads. I’d never ever advise anyone to get close to an Arab.’

Emily choked inelegantly on her drink, unable to subdue a giggle. That would be too funny if it wasn’t really sad, she thought as she listened to Marlene’s tirade about the dangers of befriending any of those fanatics, as she called pretty much anyone living in the Middle East. Emily wondered what Marlene would say if she knew that her daughter was engaged to one of them? Most probably she would have a heart attack on the spot, she thought with a morbid amusement that wasn’t able to totally cover the fact that her stepmom’s racist remarks upset her. It wasn’t the first time, and certainly wouldn’t be the last, that she would hear her talk disrespectfully about anyone unlucky enough to be born outside a one-hundred-mile radius of London.

‘
I suspect that James must have some Italian or Spanish blood in him, too,’ Marlene continued, her lips pressing together in soft rebuke. ‘With his dark hair and tanned skin, it’s simply impossible for him to be completely local, don’t you girls think?’

Yes, Emily was curious herself what explanation Sophie would come up with for her fiancé’s swarthy looks.

‘
I suspect that he has some ties to the aristocracy over there, Mom,’ Sophie answered angelically, ignoring Emily’s incredulous gaze. ‘He is so rich and well connected, that must be it. I wouldn’t be surprised if he planned on revealing to us a residence at Laggio di Como or in the foothills of Andalusia. I can just imagine him there, amidst the olive groves and vineyards.’

‘
Or maybe he just worked his way up to the top. That’s a possibility as well,’ Emily retorted, unable to listen to her
Prosperous Living
magazine-inspired idea. Sometimes Sophie could be a real sucker for those kinds of stories, pouring over the pages of the socialite-driven magazines and dreaming of becoming one with the top one percent of the world.

Two pairs of blue, accusing eyes glared at her with reproach, and she smiled sheepishly before rescuing herself with her drink.

‘
You don’t really like James, do you?’ Sophie shook her golden hair, her eyes clouded with disappointment. Did she hope Emily would worship him and wish secretly he were hers? Knowing her sister as well as she did, it was quite possible that the idea of owning something others desired would be very appealing. ‘I’ve seen you looking at him at the party. You were barely polite and to be honest, I felt quite embarrassed.’

‘
Well, you needn’t be.’ She was getting tired of the conversation, especially since it involved lying, something she hated most. ‘I was perfectly nice to him.’

‘
All I am saying is, you should try harder, Em.’ Sophie shrugged her slim elegant shoulder before smiling again, her gaze softening. ‘In two weeks we will have this wonderful official engagement party, and you will have to start seeing him as family. So, you better start practicing soon.’

Would Sophie physically attack her if she told her that, by all accounts, she and Sophie were tied for the spot of who knew him better? Sophie complained about his restraint about going anywhere past the kissing stage, which made them even, didn’t it? Of course, she didn’t say anything. Instead, she listened to the monologue that followed, Sophie’s ideas about her acting nicer around James bouncing off the wall of indifference she had built around herself in the last twenty-four hours.

There was no point in being aggravated, she thought, not with the knowledge that there would be no need to follow through with any of Sophie’s rather pushy advice. In two weeks, James would disappear from their lives, for better or for worse. Surprisingly though, the thought that both Marlene and Sophie could be gone, too, didn’t hurt as much as she expected it would. She had fretted about it last night, unable to imagine her life without them, imperfect as it was so far. Now, she didn’t anymore. There was a possibility, a small but viable one, that her sister wouldn’t want to talk to her for a long time afterward. Maybe for a really long time.

She watched Marlene, healthy and chatty as she managed to interrupt Sophie and talk about her own plans for the future. She was optimistic that the new treatment offered by a clinic in California was the way to go, their radical and experimental approach to treating the chemical imbalances responsible for inducing depression her hope for getting better permanently. Excited as a child, she showed her the brochures, explaining patiently and with amazing insight some of the more confusing terms.

Emily glanced up at her stepmom, who came to sit next to her, close enough to smell her poignant, sweet perfume that hadn’t changed in years. To think about it, Emily remembered it from the days her father was still around, the picture of the happy couple rising before her inner eyes. Marlene had made her father happy, Emily thought, grateful for the wonderful year they had together. It hadn’t lasted long, but for what it was worth, Marlene had been a wonderful wife, and Emily’s father died a happy man, enjoying his marriage and family life to its fullest.

Whatever happened next, these memories couldn’t be fully erased. She owed Marlene enough to secure her future with the money she needed. If Marlene hated her for the part she played in her daughter’s humiliation, so be it. The knowledge that she took care of the woman her father had definitely cared for would suffice to make her happy. That was all that mattered.

‘
We’ll see you on Friday, then?’ The polite, yet unmistakable, hint to get going came from Marlene just in time to save her from suffering a nervous breakdown. Sophie was back to her chat about James, wondering aloud how popular he was with women and vivisecting the possibility of someone else trying to steal him away. Maybe she just couldn’t stand the fact he was immune to her sexual appeal, Emily thought nervously, praying for something to happen soon and save her from commenting on the issue. As horrid a liar as she was, Sophie might see through her pretenses right away.

‘
Definitely.’ She rose to her feet, forcing herself to move slowly, without any of the suspicious eagerness that was an admission of guilt. It was essential to act as naturally as possible, nothing in her impatiently screaming body hinting at the fact that she couldn’t wait to get back to her little car parked in front of the house.

Only once she arrived there, her shaking fingers making quick work of the lock, her bravado left her completely. Collapsing into the seat, she rested her head on her hands, gripping the steering wheel. She had done it. She had sealed her fate right there, lying for James and playing a part of which she knew there was no way to be proud.

But she had done it for Steve, she comforted herself silently, fighting back the tears that tightened her throat. She had failed him twelve years ago, giving up the fight for justice out of pure selfishness and panic. Too concerned for her own wellbeing, she had sacrificed her stepfather’s memory with the silence she had adopted to please her stepmother. He deserved more.

‘
Emily, hey.’

A sudden banging on her window tore her from her unhappy thoughts, and she raised her head, mortified to see Sophie smiling at her and signaling for her to roll the window down.

‘
What’s going on?’ Her stepsister’s eyes traveled over Emily’s face and watery eyes. ‘You look totally sick, sis. Are you sure you’re ok enough to drive?’

‘
Yes, just a bit sleepy, that’s all.’ She nodded jerkily, cursing her own weakness. She should have known better than to pick that place and time for a sudden soul-searching.

Yet, Sophie wasn’t half as observant as she feared. Sophie glanced at her hesitantly, her golden hair impossibly shiny in the setting sun. ‘Listen, I just wanted to ask you for a favor—if it’s not too much, that is.’

‘
What is it?’ She cleared her throat and prayed for nothing too difficult. Yet she wasn’t ready for what her sister had in mind, her next words leaving Emily absolutely speechless.

‘
Look, Em, I know about Peter trying to crash the party yesterday.’ Sophie looked at her searchingly, waiting for some sign of encouragement that didn’t come. So she continued, visibly uncomfortable. ‘I was worried he might try coming back and all.’

Was she hoping for Emily to tell her he wouldn’t? Emily wasn’t sure what the right answer was, so she remained silent and waited for her stepsister to finish.