Shadow of Doubt (19 page)

Jordan did miss his Dolly dearly.  He sat blankly and stared at the television set drinking another beer and watching Guy's concert.  He never moved his eyes off the set hoping, wishing to catch a simple glimpse of his beloved Dolly who suddenly became Barbara Jean Radlee and left him all alone.  He wanted to hold her and kiss her but knew he couldn't.  She was on the other side of the continent from him now and he was willing to settle for any small glimpse of her he could get.

He felt the time and distance was ripping apart all that they had shared.  Finally the camera paused on her for only a brief moment.  Jordan's body jerked forward to get a closer look as he saw her sitting on a stool smiling proudly out at her brother from backstage.  Her hair glistened by the light of the camera and the blue in her eyes nearly tranquilized him.

Then back to Guy, the man who had taken her from him.  The man she's been devoted too all her life.  “Huh, I must be dreaming,” Jordan thought as he popped another brew.  “She'll never come back to me now.  How could she ever leave all that glitz and glamor for a man like me?  She just looks too damn happy out there in California.”

If only he knew.  Barb was smiling widely all right and her face beaming radiantly, but only because she was dreamily thinking about she and Jordan's last night together on the beach.  She knew she had to see him.  To try and return to his side and possibly resume what they had shared together.  As soon as the concert ended, she planned to board a plane back to Florida.

When Guy found out he didn't like this at all.  “You can't be serious.  You're really leaving me out in the cold?  And tonight…it’s so soon after the concert?  We still have to go out and celebrate.”

Guy and Barb stomped around their posh LA apartment as she packed up her things, all of them.

“Yes Guy.  I warned you in Nashville to get another manager.  If you didn't take me seriously that's your problem.”  She stood and stared out the window feeling the cool breeze but it only reminded her of the times she and Jordan shared at the beach together.

“The guy's a jerk Barb!  He doesn't care about you, I do.”

She turned to face him once more.  “It doesn't matter Guy.  I'm still leaving.  Even if he doesn't want me back.  I'm sick of all this.  Sick of you!”

“How can you say that?  I've taken care of you.  Damned good care of you.”

Barb turned to face him tired of letting him make her feel as if she owed him.

“You've taken care of
me
?  No sir.  You better think again.  If it wasn't for my pushing and business wit you'd still be living at home with mom and dad bagging groceries for a living and you better know it mister.”

“Oh so now I owe
you
the thanks for all of this do I?  Huh?”  he retorted unbelieving.

“We owe each other nothing!” she answered.  “I don't want anything from you except to be my brother.  I fought to get you where you are because I love you and you wanted it.  But can't you believe in me too?  Let me have my own life now?”

“I need you Barb,” he replied in a lower voice, almost pleading with his blue eyes reddening.

Barb relaxed her arms around his neck.  “You're all grown up now Guy.  You won't have any trouble replacing your manager, but as far as your sister's concerned...you'll never need to replace her.  She'll always be behind you.”

Guy hugged her tightly.  “I do love you Barb.  Please keep in touch will ya?”

“I will Guy, I will,” she promised as she picked up her luggage.  She turned to look one last time at her brother, hoping for a glimpse of understanding…support maybe for what she had to do now.

Suddenly his eyes turned evil.  “You’ll be back Barb.  You can count on that.  One way or another, I’ll have you back with me.”

Barb couldn’t believe him.  How could he be so one sided?  How could he be so crude?

“I have to go Guy.  Good luck to you.  I really mean that.”  Then she turned again and left the apartment.

She caught a cab to the airport.  She didn’t want to fly back in Guy’s private jet not wanting to give him any reason to hold it over her.  Guy was a strong willed person and she knew he would survive.  As for herself, she wasn’t so sure right now.

She found herself now putting on her sunglasses as she made her way through LAX.  This was one of the largest and most crowded airports in the country and although it was Guy who most of the fans crazed over every now and then she came across some of them that would point and giggle out, “That’s Guy Radlee’s sister!” and they would actually crowd around her and ask for her autograph.

How she hated it now.  How she realized that she had lived nearly all her life in Guy’s shadow.  Doing everything for him and ignoring the fact that she had needs of her own.

Finally she boarded her plane and found her seat.  She relaxed and took a deep breath trying to decide now how and if she would give Jordan the news.

If Jordan had changed his mind about their relationship she decided she wouldn’t bother telling him about the baby.  She knew that was the cause of her sudden illnesses and fatigue because she had taken a home pregnancy test about a week ago. She knew he had a right to know, but she didn’t feel he should be told if he didn’t want her.  Barb didn’t want him feeling obligated to taking her back only because she was pregnant now.  She was financially capable of raising a baby alone if need be.  She just didn’t want too.  She wanted Jordan with her and wanted their child to be as proud of his or her father as she was.

“And Guy,” she suddenly thought.  “Thank God I hadn’t told him about the baby.  He surely would have freaked out.  Just imagine it.”

“Only about a month or so pregnant and already sick,” she then griped to herself as she again ran to the lavatory at the back of the plane.  The trip across the states was taking its toll on her now.  She drank Sprite and nibbled on crackers the whole way but nothing seemed to settle her stomach.  But now she wasn’t exactly sure if it was the pregnancy making her sick or her nerves of not knowing what her relationship with Jordan would be when she saw him again.

Yet she still grinned as she again reclined her seat back, gently rubbing her hand up and down her still flat stomach and dreamily thought about late May when their love child would make its grand entrance into the world.  She pictured herself in labor at the hospital with Jordan holding her hand for support, fearing her dream of the three of them having a happy life together would never become a reality as the plane finally landed now in Florida.

Dolly watched out of her hotel window the next morning looking at all the autumn colors beginning to fill the trees.  It was beautiful yet the morning seemed dreary as she awaited Jordan’s arrival.

Finally she heard the knocking at the door.  She took a deep breath and opened it with a big smile.

Just the mere sight of his denim covered physique drove her mad.  She had preached to herself all night that she would remain rash and calm but just couldn’t.  She swept her arms around his firm neck and hugged him tightly.

“Oh Jordan, I’ve missed you so much you just can’t imagine,” she whispered in his ear feeling him return the greeting.  How she had missed that lazy little grin and those dark emerald eyes.

“How have you been?  You look good,” he then replied as he shut the door behind him and they came to sit next to each other on the bed.

He had every intentions of setting her free to return to her life of glamour with Guy, but now…now that he had seen her sparkling eyes and tanned flesh before him he had to try and hang onto her as long as possible.

“I’ve been lonely and depressed,” she admitted truthfully as she beamed up at him.

Jordan smiled victoriously.  “So have I,” he admitted at last as his lips came down on hers so powerfully that she fell backwards on the bed and accepted his body on top of hers openly.

They practically ripped the clothes from each other’s bodies gasping for breath as if they’d been apart for years instead of weeks.

“Oh Barb…I’ve wanted you so.”

“Jordan please…call me Dolly.  I just wanna be your Dolly forever.”

Jordan smiled triumphantly again as he slowly savored every moment of their bodies reunion.

Once they finished reassuring their love for each other they rested side by side.  Finally Dolly had to know.

“Jordan, why didn’t you call me?  I waited every day and never did you call.”

He looked seriously in her eyes.  “I just figured I had best give you time back with your family, time to decide for sure if giving up all that was worth it to you.  I just didn’t want you to think I was pushing you to leave and come back to me if it really wasn’t what you wanted.  I promise it won’t happen again.  Not ever.”

“My life with you is all I thought about the entire time I was gone.”  Then she thought about the baby.  Maybe now would be a good time but Jordan spoke again.

“Now, we’ve gotta get out of here.  I’m running late.”

She decided to wait now.  She needed to be sure about their relationship first.  They dressed and together left the hotel for the track.

Back at the track together Jordan again threw her a jumpsuit.  Dolly didn’t waste any time.

“I see your partner’s back,” Martin noticed as he watched her zip up the suit not daring to go anywhere near her this time.

“I’m just too irresistible I guess,” Jordan teased as he helped her climb into the car.

“I can’t believe you fixed all those dents,” she then stated as he too got into the car.

“I’m a whiz at that stuff,” he proclaimed with a smile then took off around the track with Dolly again at his side.

Afterwards, she, Jordan and Martin all shared lunch together.  Dolly was feeling at home and was beginning to again feel as if she belonged here.  No other type of life could ever again make her this happy.

That evening she and Jordan again walked hand in hand on the beach in front of Jordan’s home.

“I sure missed this place.”

Jordan slid his arms around her chest from behind and hugged her gently as they stared again out over the blue rumbling water in front of them.

“Will you stay with me tonight?” Jordan then asked hopefully.

Dolly turned to face him.  “I’d stay with you forever Jordan Scott,” she replied as she tip-toed to kiss him.

He returned her kiss passionately.  He too had missed her dearly and felt complete again now that she was back in his arms.

He then took her hand and led her inside.