This time it was he who raised an eyebrow. “The Templars did not try to . . . persuade you to anything?”
“They didn’t use violence. I think they were hopeful of convincing me to help them without force. I wasn’t there long enough for them to change their minds.”
“And what do you think it was that they wished to convince you to do, exactly?”
“Your attempt on the sunmage angered them,” I said carefully, trying to calculate the line between truth and lie and credibility. “I think they were planning some sort of revenge. They wanted details of the work I do for you.”
“What did you tell them?”
“As little as possible. They knew who I was, of course, and I think the Templars would have liked to get more out of me, but the sunmage is a typical healer. Softhearted. He has no stomach for violence.” I tried to make my tone dismissive, scornful even. “His brother is far more dangerous from what I saw. He was the one who questioned me.” Did that sound plausible? Guy was the Templar, after all.
Lucius’ expression was unchanging. I watched him, head and heart aching even as my body burned. I had no way of knowing whether he believed me. No way to know what he would ask or do next.
“But you spent time with the sunmage?”
I tensed. Was he asking or did he know? If he knew, then he did indeed have a spy somewhere in St. Giles. Of course, he could be merely working from information provided by the Beasts who had seen me with Simon. “Yes, they used him at night to hold me. Him and others. They prattled on endlessly about redemption.” I risked the lie. Unless Lucius’ spy was actually in the Brother House, he would have no way of knowing what had happened there. The thought of a Night World spy infiltrating the Templars seemed farfetched. Much more likely it was someone in St. Giles. But who?
If I could find that out and somehow get the information to Simon, then I would have done something worthwhile at least. But I would have to tread carefully. My job now was to quell any doubts in Lucius’ mind about me. Ricco’s death had hopefully done part of the job, but I knew it would take time before Lucius would trust me like he had before.
“I can see why you wanted him dead,” I added. “All that piety is irritating.”
“Is that so?”
Had I pushed too far with my lies? Well, then I had to brazen it out. “Yes, my Lord. I am sorry I could not kill him for you.”
“Would you try again if I sent you?”
My heart stuttered for a moment. Then, “Yes, my Lord.” I would try. Though, if it came to that, I would make sure to fail. “Though he is well guarded now. And his brother would look to you were anything to happen.”
Did Lucius have the sense to wait for a time, let things settle before he renewed his campaign against Simon? I hoped so. Time would give me breathing space to determine a strategy.
“His guards are not your concern.”
I nodded once, feigning assent to this statement. My face felt stiff, partly because of the dried blood glued to my skin. “I would like to wash, my Lord.”
He frowned.
“I do not like the stink of Ricco’s blood. It offends me.” I hoped to imply that perhaps it was Lucius’ blood that I wanted to smell instead.
Lucius smiled. “You did me a service, killing him. He had grown too ambitious.”
If I’d been asked to pick amongst the Court, I would have named Ignatius a greater danger than Ricco. He had the brains to go with the ambition. But I wasn’t going to offer Lucius political advice. “I am always happy to be of service, my Lord.”
“Is that so?” He moved then, fast as always, until he stood mere inches from me. This close, his scent stole my concentration, made the need rage in my brain and through my body. I closed my eyes, trying to fight it.
“Do you hunger, shadow?”
Yes.
I bit my lip to stop myself from saying the word. I wanted the blood but . . . only last night Simon had been in my bed. It was too soon. Surely I could resist for one more day? But then, “Yes,” I said, unable to stop myself. I kept my eyes closed, I didn’t want to see his face. Didn’t want to see him gloat.
There was a touch, soft as a spider drifting across my cheek, where I was bruised from Ricco’s blow. My skin quivered and revulsion and lust curdled in my stomach.
“I have missed you, my shadow.” There was hunger in his voice. Unmistakable hunger. I didn’t need to open my eyes to know. He wanted me. Wanted my blood.
Think.
I tried to gather my will, but it was like pushing through fog. No way to gain purchase with the scent of Lucius surrounding me, making my senses sway and reel. “My Lord?” was all I managed to say.
“Look at me.”
I opened my eyes, lifted my head, all too aware that doing so bared my throat. I wondered if my heartbeat was as loud to him as it seemed to me.
Lucius was smiling. “So eager?” Another spider-soft touch, this time drifting his fingers across the place in my neck where the pulse beat. “I am glad to see it.”
He stepped back then, expression changing rapidly to rigid restraint. “But I have business tonight, my shadow. I must speak with the Beasts.”
A reprieve. My knees went loose and I had to lock them to stay standing. With a little space between us, my selfcontrol reasserted itself in a small way and I could think again. What business was so important that he would put off what he so obviously wanted? What was he plotting with the Beasts? Could his spy be a Beast?
Unlikely. I hadn’t seen any Beasts working at St. Giles and they didn’t have the magic to avoid the wards set around Simon’s patients. So, what role were the Beasts playing here? Was Lucius planning another attempt on Simon? The thought turned me to ice.
Lucius seated himself behind his desk, lifting a pile of correspondence from a black lacquered tray. Apparently he was done with me.
“Do you have further need of me?” I asked.
His eyes met mine with what felt like a physical blow. “Tonight, you may occupy yourself downstairs,” he said.
“Try not to kill any other members of my Court.” He lifted the uppermost envelope on the pile and turned it over to view the seal, lifting a nastily sharp-looking dagger from his desk to slit it open.
I bowed slightly, lowering my eyes. As I did so, the next envelope in the stack caught my attention. It glimmered slightly, eerie green-gold. The Fae sealed their messages with wards. Who was sending Lucius sealed letters?
Those Fae who dealt with the Night World tended to meet with Lucius in person and in groups. Nothing committed to paper. Then again, I had never before paid much attention to Lucius’ business, so perhaps I was wrong.
Or perhaps this was from the spy. Could they be Fae? It seemed absurd, but the wardlight was there in front of me, proof that a Fae had written, or at least sealed, that envelope. I wanted to grab the letter and vanish but resisted that suicidal impulse. Instead, I straightened, not wanting him to see my attention. There was nothing on the face of the envelope other than Lucius’ title and name in elaborate script. The writing struck me as female but offered no other clue.
“Night keep you, then, my Lord,” I said.
He nodded. I turned to leave.
“Tomorrow night, my shadow.” His voice came just as I reached the door.
My hand stilled on the heavy metal handle. I turned back. “My Lord?”
For a moment his eyes seemed to glow red. “Tomorrow night, we shall deal with these hungers, you and I. You will come to me.”
Soap stung my eyes as I scrubbed the blood from my face. If only it were so easy to scrub Lucius’ last words from my mind. Tomorrow night. That was when I would truly rejoin him. When I would drink his blood to ease the ache in my body and, most likely, he would drink mine unless I had misunderstood him. In truth, I didn’t know if I even cared anymore. I felt several lifetimes older than this morning, my mind battered and bruised by everything the passing hours had wrought.
I splashed clean water on my face and wiped my eyes, trying to believe it was only the soap that made them sting. My reflection stared back at me, pale and exhausted, as white as one of the Blood. Very different from the happy face I’d seen when I’d bathed at the Brother House. I didn’t even feel like the same person. I didn’t know what I felt like.
But I had made my choice. To end the bloodshed and return here to this place that was all I had ever known before Simon had blazed into my life. Surely it couldn’t be so hard to be as I had once been? I had survived in this world for a long time. Surely I couldn’t have lost the knack for it in a few short days?
My mouth curved grimly. The knack perhaps I still had. But whether I still had the stomach for such a life was less certain.
My fingers twisted the towel into a knot. My life for many. My choice. But had it been the right one? Would Simon survive, would he be able to stop Lucius? Lady, let it be so. I stilled suddenly, remembering the glowing letter. What secrets did it hold? Something that might help the humans? If they succeeded, there might be some slim chance for me to escape from Lucius once more. A greater chance than any plan I had been able to devise of getting free of Lucius while he yet lived.
I was stuck here, with Lucius, for now, but perhaps I could do as I had promised Simon. Do some good. All I needed was to know what Lucius was up to and what was in that damn letter.
Everything seemed hushed as I walked back toward Lucius’ suite from the bathroom. The noises from the Assembly below seemed distant from the gray of the shadow.
But despite myself and the knowledge that no one could see me in the shadow, uneasy guilt dogged me. Never before had I tried to use my powers against Lucius. Planning to defy him and actually doing it—going against a lifetime of ingrained obedience—seemed to be two different things. Biting the hand that holds your chains is harder than it appears.
I gritted my teeth, standing outside the door. Was Lucius still inside? It must have been a good quarter of an hour since I’d left him and walked on shaky legs to one of the upper bathrooms. Had the Beasts joined him in the suite or were they elsewhere in one of the private dining rooms or other chambers? Lords of hell, let them be elsewhere. If anyone was in the room, I could enter undetected, but unless the letter was lying open on the desk, I wouldn’t be able to read it without leaving the shadow. If I had to wait for Lucius’ office to be empty, I might lose my nerve, or my opportunity if he summoned me.
Before I could decide what to do, the door swung open, wood passing through me to bang against the wall, and Lucius strode out, pushing the door shut behind him and locking it. I held my breath, tempted to squeeze my eyes shut. He was so close, my mind shrieked that he would sense me, even though I knew that was impossible.
But my fears were unwarranted. Lucius merely pocketed the key, then smoothed his long jacket before walking away.
My knees almost buckled in relief. No one else would be in the room at this hour. Lucius guarded his inner sanctum well. There would be a few Trusted who were allowed access but not during the height of the night while Lucius was conducting the business of his Court.
Seizing my chance, I stepped through the door and hurried over to the desk. The pile of correspondence still lay in the black lacquered tray, the top few envelopes slit open as I had seen him do earlier. At first glance I couldn’t see any that glowed green gold.
Hells.
I started to let go of the shadow, then paused. Were there wards around the room? Something to detect me? I scanned carefully but couldn’t sense or see anything to indicate worked magic. Still, I stayed shadowed as I scanned the desk again, searching for the letter as my heart raced. Minimizing any time I had to spend solid would be the safest course. As would getting what I had come to do done in the fastest possible time.
The desk held a bottle of ink and a pristine black quill, the pile of letters and a large red bound ledger. I studied the ledger, then frowned. It did not seem to lie entirely flat against the polished wood. Was there something beneath?
I would have to risk it. I let go of the shadow, senses straining for any hint of alarm, and lifted the ledger.