Shades of Treason (35 page)

In fact, she really didn’t want to say anything at all. She wanted to do things, like move closer so she could get a better smell of his aftershave, maybe press her lips against his jaw and find out just how close his shave was.

She shifted her weight and looked away. She wanted Rykus. She wanted him more than any man she’d ever met.

“You taking a military transport to Meryk?” she asked.

“Commercial,” he responded.

She hated his succinct answers. She wanted more from him, more of his voice, more of his reaction, more of his…

Well, hell. She’d always been flirtatious and direct. No need to stop now.

“Do I get an invite?”

He looked behind her more than at her. “You’re expected to be on a military transport.”

“It wouldn’t be the first time I broke a rule.”

“Ash—”

“I’ll say my brain was a bit scrambled.” She moved toward him. “Wouldn’t be a complete lie.”

He placed his hands on her shoulders, stopping her from coming closer. “I’m re-imprinted in your mind, Ash.”

“I’m aware of that.”

“No, you’re not thinking. You’re letting the loyalty training control your feelings. I took advantage of that—”

She stepped back quickly, causing his hands to fall from her shoulders. “If you’re saying I wasn’t willing—”

“You were willing.” He grabbed her arm, preventing her from moving farther away. “Seeker’s God, you were willing. We both were, and… hell. I’m saying this wrong. What I did was an abuse of power. The Coalition has laws preventing fraternization between the ranks, but what I did was worse than that. I broke an ethical code—”

“If you want me to sign a statement of relationship, I will.”

“That’s not what I want, damn it.” He turned away. “It would destroy your career. It would take you decades to rank up.”

“I don’t care about rank.”

Glancing over her shoulder, he pinned her with his dark gaze. “Morally it’s wrong.”

Ash crossed her arms, lifted her chin. “You’re afraid of me.”

Rykus let out a chuckle that edged just this side of exasperated. “Terrified.”

When she stepped closer, he turned toward her. He reached out and found the braid hidden beneath her hair. She’d finally showered, and she’d made sure she tightly rebraided it.

“There’s a right way and a wrong way to do things,” he said. “I went outside my chain of command, broke countless rules and protocols, and did it the wrong way. My feelings for you clouded my judgment.”

“If the legendary Rhys ‘Rest in Peace’ Rykus has feelings, then why are you pushing me away?”

“Because you don’t have a choice.”

She eased closer. “Very noble of you, Rip, but I don’t give a damn about chivalry. And I do have a choice.”

He released her braid, and the air turned too cool when he dropped his hand to his side. “You never give up. I don’t know whether to love or hate that about you.”

She laughed. “It’s okay if it’s both.”

He looked on the verge of smiling, but he had more control than she did. His expression settled into his customary scowl, and he said, “Valt is alive.”

The words cut through her, dousing the little heat that lingered. Rykus’s intent, undoubtedly.

She refused to let him see the shard of ice that speared her. She’d suspected Jevan had survived. She had a vague recollection of him running, and an even vaguer memory of Rykus shooting her. She hadn’t asked the doctors or the interrogator about him. She’d spoken to them as little as possible.

“He wanted you,” Rykus said. “He came across your name—the name of the only female ever to complete the Caruth training—when you graduated, and he was obsessed. He thought with a little more time he could turn you into a drone.”

She had to force herself to breathe. That was one of her fears, one of the hallucinations she’d lived over and over again.

“You’re not a drone,” Rykus said.

She met his gaze. “How do you know?”

“He told us he was unsuccessful.”

“And you believe him?” Rykus couldn’t be that gullible.

“The Coalition has used… persuasive methods to make him talk.”

“I’m familiar with those methods.”

The skin around Rykus’s eyes tightened, and she felt him withdraw. She wanted to tell him it was okay, that it wasn’t his fault she was tortured and hurt, but she was pretty sure a reasonable, non-loyalty-trained person would be a little pissed about it. So she said nothing.

“No,” he said after a long silence. “I don’t believe everything he says. But I believe in you. You’re free now.” He grimaced. “Or you will be once you get away from me.”

He reached for the door.

“Wait.” She placed her hand over his.

“Ashdyn, I told you—”

“The braid,” she said. “Back on Ephron, you asked why I still wear it.”

His brow furrowed. “I did, but—”

“I wear it because it reminds me of you.”

His gaze moved from her eyes to the braid draped over her shoulder, then back to her eyes. He didn’t understand.

“It’s reminded me of you for a long time, Rip.”

His jaw clenched. He still didn’t get it.

“Since
before
the loyalty training,” she said, spelling it out.

His eyes locked on hers. His lips parted. He started to say something, stopped.

Ash moved closer, close enough to be wrapped in that strong, unique scent that was his.

He didn’t back away. “Are you sure?”

She answered him with a kiss. He was taller than her, so she pulled his head down. If he’d tried to back away, she wouldn’t have let him. But he didn’t try. His mouth opened, his tongue found hers, and he pressed his body into hers.

He opened the door to the institute, that hell she never wanted to return to, but she didn’t care when he swung her over the threshold. His right hand fisted her braid, his left circled to the small of her back, pulling her hips forward.

“There are a thousand reasons why this can’t work,” he whispered against her mouth.

Ash laughed and kissed him again. “I’m an anomaly, Rip. I obliterate the odds every day.”

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Read
The Shadow Reader Novels.
If you enjoy high-octane science fiction and fantasy with a shot of romance, you’ll love my urban fantasy trilogy. An excerpt follows after this.

Excerpt from The Shadow Reader

Some humans can see the fae. McKenzie Lewis can track them, reading the shadows they leave behind. But some shadows lead to danger. Others lead to lies.

A Houston college student trying to finish her degree, McKenzie has been working for the fae king for years, tracking vicious rebels who would claim the Realm. Her job isn’t her only secret. For just as long, she’s been in love with Kyol, the king’s sword-master—and relationships between humans and fae are forbidden.

But any hope for a normal life is shattered when she’s captured by Aren, the fierce and uncompromising rebel leader. He teachers her the forbidden fae language and tells her dark truths about the Court, all to persuade her to turn against the king. Time is running out, and as the fight starts to claim human lives, McKenzie has to decide once and for all whom to trust—and where she ultimately stands in the face of a cataclysmic civil war.

* * *

My skin tingles a moment before a slash of white light flashes at the front of the lecture hall. I grit my teeth and keep my eyes locked on my scantron, refusing to acknowledge the fae entering my world through that fissure. I don’t give a damn if it’s the king himself, I will pass this test tonight.

I darken in
C
on my answer sheet and then read the next question. “McKenzie.”

It’s Kyol. Of course the Court would send
him
.

“McKenzie,” he says. “We must go.” No one else can hear or see him even though he towers over my professor, who stands less than two feet to his left. All the other students remain bowed over their desks, completely focused on their final exams. I grip my pencil and bubble in another circle.

The fae climbs the steps to my fifth-row seat. Still not meeting his eyes, I shake my head. I told him—I told all of them—not to call on me this week, but none of the fae understand why I need this degree, not when the Court takes care of all my needs. I tried to explain I’m human. I have human dreams and need a human life, and it shouldn’t take anyone eight years to earn a Bachelor of Arts in English. They hadn’t listened. At least, Kyol hadn’t.

Not now!
I want to scream, but even the softest whisper will disturb the quiet in the lecture hall. I stare down at my exam, letting my long hair brush the top of my desk. It forms a brown curtain, cutting off my view of Kyol as I reread question ten. The Court’s war can wait until I finish.

Kyol lays a hand on my shoulder, and a pleasant warmth expands beneath the thin strap of my purple cami. If we were alone, I’d lean into his touch, soak in his heat, his scent—soak in
him
—but not here, not now in the middle of a test I
have
to pass. I shift, trying to get away. When his hand remains, I slam my fist down on my desk.

My classmates turn their heads to stare and Dr. Embry frowns. Fantastic.

“Number ten,” I say with a nervous laugh. “It’s a doozy.” It isn’t. It’s on the works of C. S. Lewis. Easy. I bubble in
A
.

Kyol pulls on my shoulder and I squirm again. There’s no way in hell I’m flunking this course a third time. I need it to graduate, and I don’t care if Kyol drops his invisibility in front of all my classmates, my ass isn’t budging until I finish my test and triple check my answers.

“We’ve no time to waste,” Kyol says. “The rebels have found you.”

I suck in a frigid breath, hold it as I close my eyes for one brief, fragile moment, then I exhale, stuff my pencil into my backpack, and stand.

“I’m sorry,” I say to my surprised professor. “I have to go.”

By the time I turn to hurry up the steps, Kyol’s already waiting by the exit. I brace for the surge of emotion I know is coming and finally meet his silver eyes. Most people don’t see past his hard, unyielding scowl, but I do. I’ve seen his eyes soften and sparkle in the moonlight. I’ve seen a smile crack those lips, heard a laugh ring from that broad chest. And yet, even in those few, untroubled moments, there’s always a certain gravitas to him, like he could stand in the middle of a battle and part the enemy’s line with one cool glare.

He reaches for the door. I lock down my feelings and cut him off, not wanting my classmates to see it swing open seemingly on its own. He glances down at me, and a bolt of blue lightning skitters from his jaw to his temple before disappearing into his dark hair. Another bolt zigzags across the hand he rests on his sword’s hilt. They’re chaos lusters, visual reminders that the fae don’t belong in this world, and they’re beautiful, mesmerizing. With his quiet, strong confidence,
he’s
mesmerizing.

“Where should I go?” I ask after the door thumps shut.

“The River Bend.” He seizes my arm and pulls me after him. God, he’s really worried. Just how close are the rebels? I scan up and down the hallway, but there’s only one other person in sight, a student asleep against the wall, newspaper pillowed under his head. I wish I could be oblivious like him, but I can’t. If the rebels don’t kill me on sight, they’ll use me to hunt down the Court’s officers one by one, just like I’ve hunted them down over the years.

My skin tingles again. I tense, then relax when three fae wearing the Court’s
jaedric
armor join us, stepping through fissures to take up position around me. Escape would be easy if I could travel through one of those strips of narrow light, but I’m only human. I can’t use a fissure unless it’s opened at a gate and a fae escorts me through: not if I want to survive the trip.

Kyol speaks to his soldiers in their language. They nod, acknowledging his orders, and we set off down the hall. I shove my worry aside and hurry to keep up with their quick strides, telling myself everything will be okay, Kyol will take care of me. He
always
takes care of me.

Outside, a faint orange and pink haze smears the lowest portion of the sky. The growing darkness triggers the campus lights. They clank on, illuminating the faces of the students sitting on cement benches or walking alone or in groups of two or three. Even after dusk, this part of campus is always crowded because of the library. The River Bend Gate is about a mile northeast of it, past the construction for a new engineering building.

I hitch my backpack up on my shoulders. It’s not heavy. I left most of my books at home and brought only the essentials: my English Lit notes, sketchbook, cell phone, and the small, drawstring pouch that contains a handful of imprinted anchor-stones. I’ll need the latter to pass through the gate unless Kyol gives me a new stone to use.