Shades of Sydney (Sydney West #1) (20 page)

Chapter Thirty-Two

I woke up happy, I’d say elated even. Was it love? I’d settle for a crush. Hormones and emotions could make certain feelings feel like love, even though they were temporary. Jason was still my summer boy, but one who’d found a way to last longer than the normal one-night stand.

Amelia was giddy as she cooked pancakes. She gushed about the new fashion line in her magazine. I ate my blueberry pancakes and made notes on some of the dresses I found attractive. Most were too out there or I couldn’t figure out how you’d put it on, let alone take it off.

“I love this dress.” Amelia pointed to a rose colored wedding dress. That made me a little antsy.

I tapped my finger on the gown and asked, “A wedding dress?”

“Mmm-hmm. We’re in our twenties, Syd. We need to start thinking about the important things in life.”

Next she’d be ranting about which crib was best.

She took the magazine to continue flipping through it and I went back to my food.

“I’ve always loved black wedding dresses myself,” I said while dipping a piece of pancake into a pool of syrup.

She stuck her tongue out. “That’s for funerals.”

I shrugged. “White is for virgins. I need another color.”

She clicked her tongue. “You could use a light pink or some other cool, airy color. Anything but black. Do you want to mourn what’s supposed to be the best day of your life?”

It was up for debate what was meant to be the best day of your life. Some said it was your wedding, others your child’s birth, and a few chimed in with graduations. Honestly, I wanted to live life while I still could walk and breathe. Anything could take you out of the game of life. A simple cut in a river could lead to a flesh eating virus that claimed your life or most of your limbs. It happened to one girl and it will happen again.

No one understood how I saw life. It was a double-edged sword, beautiful yet hideous. A person could finally win the lottery and die the next day. A woman could learn she’s pregnant and her husband is murdered getting her ice cream she craved at one in the morning. Just watching crime shows tell you how easy it is to snuff out the flame of life. Our souls linger inside our bodies by thin strings. A couple snips and it’s free for eternity.

Knowing life is precious, I didn’t want to waste my time on frivolous things like love. That was until Jason came into the picture and screwed everything up. He made me question my theories, made me wonder about love. Could I be wrong? Was I just so afraid of love that I convinced myself it was a childish fairytale?

“Hunter wants to take me to the opera tonight. Isn’t that sweet?” Amelia said, killing my thoughts.

I swallowed my last bite and got up, taking the plate to the sink. “Yeah, have you ever been?”

Amelia took the plate from me, putting it in the dishwasher with hers. “No, but I always wanted to since I saw
Pretty Woman
.”

That was a lovely movie, though it was extremely fictional. In no real world would a rich man want to save a lost hooker, but people could dream.

She shut the door and turned the dishwasher on. “What are you and Jason doing?”

I looked out the kitchen window to the rolling ocean outside. “I’m thinking of taking him somewhere. It’s a surprise.”

A hand brushed my lips. She held a finger up to show I had a crumb on my face. “I thought you hated surprises.”

“When I’m not in on them, I do,” I said, licking my lips.

Why was that hard for people to understand?

“I see…well, I better get ready. Have to get all fancy for my date. We’re going out for dinner first.” She gave me a hug and left, going upstairs to her room.

“Okay. Have fun,” I called after her.

“You too,” she shouted back.

In a way, I missed my best friend. This summer was supposed to be about us making Malibu our bitch. We were supposed to take the clubs by storm and have no regrets. Somehow, we lost track of each other and got caught up in boys. Damn boys, they ruined everything.

I guess it was stupendous Amelia found Hunter. She wasn’t built like me. If she slept around, it wouldn’t have been healthy for her state of mind. She’s a girl who wants to settle down and give her whole heart to a guy who’d swear to protect her. I wasn’t sure if Hunter fit into the role of the man of her dreams, but at least she wasn’t losing herself. She couldn’t find her Prince Charming that way. I happily sampled new boys, or at least I used to until Jason twisted all my thoughts.

Chapter Thirty-Three

“Where are we going?” Jason questioned, staring at me instead of looking out the window.

A smile crept over my face, but I kept my eyes on the road. “It’s a surprise.”

I was driving my Charger and wasn’t about to give the location to Jason, not for anything.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him grimace. “This is payback, isn’t it?”

“Ain’t it a bitch?” I said in a sing-song voice.

“You’re wayward. Speaking of which…”

Emilie Autumn came on the radio. Jason reached over to turn up the volume. I couldn’t help but smile. The man knew me too well.

Emilie finished her chorus as I waited to turn into the parking lot of our location.

“Rust and Diamond Tattoos. We’re not going there, are we?” Jason asked as I turned.

“Maybe.”

His jaw tensed. “Why?”

“I thought it would be a boisterous adventure, something to remember years from now.”

“When you’re young you think that. The regret doesn’t come until you’re older.”

I parked and tossed the keys into my purse. “If you get something meaningful, you shouldn’t have any regrets.”

“Touché.”

We got out of the car and entered the shop. A bell on top of the door announced us. A man with tattoo sleeves on his arms wearing jeans and a shirt with the shop’s logo of a red and black dragon came to greet us.

“Hey, I’m Paul. What can I do for you today?”

Jason looked at me. “He’s still deciding, but I know what I want.” I got a piece of paper out of my purse and handed it to the artist.

He looked it over before asking, “Where would you like this?”

“Here,” I answered, gesturing to the inner part of my upper right arm.

“Okay, let me sketch this and I’ll call you back when I’m finished.”

“All right,” I replied, giving him a polite smile.

Paul then looked at Jason. “Let me know when you decide.”

“Okay,” Jason replied, sounding none too happy.

We drifted to the wall plastered with the traditional tattoos. It was filled with crosses, skulls, dolphins, tigers, Chinese symbols, and all the other cliché things.

“You’re not going to get something off the wall are you? Everyone knows that’s a horrible idea. It’s only for decoration,” I said, trying to lighten the mood.

“I don’t want a tattoo. I’m done with them.”

“You’re done? You only have what,” I looked at his body, not seeing any visible ink, but I knew he had the eagle wings, “one?”

His eyes were intense. I met a side of Jason I never faced before.

I looked down, too afraid to meet his fiery gaze.

He cupped my chin, forcing me to look up. “A tattoo is a forever thing. I don’t want to impulsively get one for the sake of getting one.”

“I understand,” I said.

Why did I feel like crying?

He gave me a ghost of his smile as he brushed my hair out of my face.

“Tell you what, I’ll get something pierced.”

“You will?” I perked up, feeling more hopeful than before.

“Mmm-hmm.”

“What?”

“Not sure. Maybe my nipples,” he joked.

I smacked him. “That’s asinine. Never saw the point in getting nipples or your collarbones pierced.”

“I’m with you there. Have you seen those girls who get the corsets pierced into their backs?” He wrinkled his face in disgust.

“Seen? Please, I had a friend who did that. I was tightening it one day and she yelled at me for pulling too tightly. It freaked me out.” I shivered at the memory.

“What’s on that piece of paper you gave Paul?” He changed the subject to avoid graphic details.

I turned my head, staring at a drawing of a tiger. “It’s a quote from one of my favorite songs. It says,
‘Sometimes she'll speak in third person to forget that she is me.’”

“Let me guess, it’s from an Emile Autumn song.”

My smile betrayed my poker face. “Lucky guess.”

He locked me in the envelope of his embrace. “When will you see I know you like no one else?”

Fear prickled my skull. Did he know me? There was so much unsaid, yet it already felt like he was inside me, leaving fingerprints on my heart.

“I’m not an open book,” I said flatly, making him pull away.

“I know. I have to work for things, but you’re worth the chase.”

My cheeks burned. “There’s a lot I don’t know about you.”

He grinned. “Like what?”

“What does the tattoo on your shoulder blades mean?”

“The eagle wings?”

I nodded.

He sighed, releasing me. It was obviously something he didn’t want me to bring up. “When I was eighteen, a good friend of mine died. I got the tattoo as a reminder of him.”

“Oh, I’m sorry…” I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t expect such a tragic story behind it.

He covered my lips with his finger. “Don’t apologize for something you didn’t do.”

Jason leaned in close. I wanted to taste his lips, to take away the agony in his eyes.

“I’m ready when you are,” Paul said, making me jump.

“Okay,” I replied, untangling myself from Jason.

“Know what you want?” Paul asked Jason.

Jason looked at me, asking me to pick something for him to pierce. It was a lot of pressure. “Get your lip done,” I said.

Paul gave me a sideways glance, puzzled.

“I want to pierce my lip,” Jason said.

“Okay, I’ll get Kenny out here for you.”

Paul pointed me to a chair that was behind the wall separating the waiting room from the tattooing area. I sat in the chair and waited as Paul went to get Kenny.

I looked down at my hands because the ink bottles and ink gun made me nervous if I looked at them too long.

“Have you ever gotten a tattoo before?” Paul asked me when he came back.

“No,” I said quietly. I didn’t want Jason to hear I was an ink virgin.

Paul disinfected my arm with an alcohol wipe. “Are you sure you want this to be your first? It’s kind of big and in a sensitive spot.”

“I’m sure.”

He nodded, placing the decal on my arm. “Go check it out in the mirror. If you like it, we’ll start.”

I went to the mirror pinned on the wall. Turning my head, I saw Jason sitting in a chair with Kenny standing over him. He was getting his lip pierced for me. The least I could do was toughen up enough to get tattooed.

“I like it.”

“Good, lie down and place your arm here.” Paul pointed to the pad in front of him. He sat on a stool next to me and slid on his black gloves.

I got into position.

Paul opened the ink and readied his gun. I took a deep breath as he placed the needle into my skin. I tried to ignore the buzzing coming from the machine. There was no going back now.

The experience was excruciating. I now understood how much it hurt when a vampire bit their victim in films and novels. I wanted to scream and yank my arm away from the needle’s hold. What kept me strong was Jason. He came to my side when he was finished. His hand was my rock. I squeezed it hard, as if I was giving birth to a baby and not getting tattooed.

“Shh, it’s okay, Syd. Calm down.” Jason tried to soothe me by whispering and patting my head.

“A lot of newbies are like this,” Paul cracked.

Jason’s face went somber. “This is your first tat?”

“Y—yeah,” I said, looking down at my shirt.

He shook his head. “Why didn’t you tell me? You can’t rush into something like this, especially if you have no experience.”

In a way, it was upsetting Jason didn’t know I had no tattoos. We had sex, meaning he’d seen all of my skin. To give him the benefit of the doubt, he was thinking about other things rather than searching for stigmas on my flesh. It only troubled me because it proved he didn’t know everything about me, and I liked having someone understand me for once.

It was as if he read my mind. He kissed the back of my hand. “You’re insane.”

I tried to smile, but it hurt too much. “I know.”

The next fifteen minutes went by gradually, as if time froze over. Jason helped me from going batty. Once my tattoo was finished, I wanted to weep in relief. I checked it out in the mirror and fell in love with my quote.

“You’re definitely a plague rat now,” Jason joked, referring to what Emilie called those who loved her music.

I elbowed him in the stomach. “Yup,” I said, sounding proud.

We paid our dues and listened to the speech on how we had to cleanse our new accessories. I was a little lightheaded as I walked back to my Charger.

“Do you want me to drive, daredevil?” Jason asked, giving me a smirk.

I nodded and regretted it. My headache was getting worse. “Yes,” I managed to reply.

He took my keys and helped me into the passenger’s seat. “You know I usually never let someone drive my car.” The words fell out of my mouth.

“Not even Amelia?” Jason asked as he buckled me in.

“Nope, not even her, unless it’s an emergency.”

I let Amelia drive my car back to the dorms when I got too drunk at a bachelorette party for our friend in Arizona last year. That was probably the last time someone drove my Charger.

A cold chill ran through me. No, that wasn’t the last time. I remembered letting that asshole Derek drive me home when I wanted to leave Jason after playing Truth or Dare. The memory turned my stomach into a ball of lead.

“I see. Then I’m honored you’re letting me drive.” His smile reached his eyes. Sunlight caught the flake of green in his right iris.

The bubble of wicked thoughts burst and left me feeling humble. “No problem.” I wanted to be a smart-ass and tell him I didn’t have a choice, but that wouldn’t have been right.

Perhaps I’d gone soft.

I closed my eyes as he pulled onto the road. Some time passed by. I neared the brink of sleep but any bump in the road brought me back to reality.

Jason nudged me awake. “Come on,” he said, getting out of the car.

I blinked a few times, rubbing my eyes with the back of my hand. A sign lit up in the window ahead of me. We were at a restaurant, one I’ve never been to before.

“Where are we?” I asked, getting out of the car and running to catch up with Jason.

He opened the giant oak door, ushering me inside without an answer. A mischievous smile hung on his face. He was up to something.

A waitress in an ivory white dress led us to a table. The crunching sounds under my heels drew my attention to the floor. It was cement, covered in what appeared to be peanut shells. On the walls were pictures of happy pigs and barbecue. A few neon signs were advertising different types of alcohol and a huge metal model of the United States of America made out of license plates hung near the bar.

We were seated at a booth placed on top of a cement step. The plastic benches were colored scarlet with a matching red and white checkered tablecloth.

“This place is disgusting. They never sweep!” I said a little too loud.

Jason motioned for me to lower my voice with his hand. “Calm down, Syd, don’t be such a germaphobe.”

Germaphobe? If that meant I liked clean places to eat, then I was a germaphobe.

I wrapped my arms around myself. “This place is designed to be dirty?”

He nodded, reaching over to grab a handful of nuts from a silver tin on the edge of the table. “See?” He used a nutcracker and threw the shell to the floor. “This is what makes this place unique.”

I watched other diners toss shells to the floor too. It
was
a thing. “Do they also make their food with road kill? Maybe we should go hit a dog and let them cook it up for us.” I pressed my lips together to keep myself from throwing up at the idea of eating a dead dog.

Jason cracked another nut and said, “Don’t be ridiculous. They have high ratings here.”

“Prove it,” I countered.

“Just try it. Let your hair down.” He gave me his signature smirk that made me weak inside.

“What the hell?” I reached over and took one nut. After opening it I put the shell on the table and ate the nut inside.

“On the floor. No need to be proper.”

My hand gingerly swept the shell closer to the floor. It lingered on the edge of the table for a moment before it flew off. It felt like I was breaking one of the rules my mom burned into my mind.

“Didn’t that feel good?” He laughed, eating more peanuts.

“Mmm-hmm.” I wasn’t sure about the place. It was out of my element.

Another waitress came and spoke to only Jason. “What can I get for you?” Her breasts almost spilled out of her top and her lips had too many layers of crimson lipstick.