Shades of Shame (Semper Fi) (8 page)

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he said, sliding his hand up her spine with genuine concern.

Leila spun her head towards him like a woman possessed, narrowed her eyes and bared her teeth in a tight clench.  “Fuck me, damn it!  NOW!”

Logan stood still behind her for a moment considering, then forced inside of her hungrily, pushing his way past her tight outer lips without further hesitation.  He began a slow and rhythmic pounding of her sex per her orders.  She felt a warmth flood her crotch, filling her completely as his rock hard member invaded parts of her never touched before.  Her body pulsed with pleasure as her moans got louder and louder.  Logan was still too gentle her body complained.  Couldn’t he see she liked it rough?  “Put your thumb in my ass, Logan!”

“What?” His voice choked.

“You fucking heard me, put your thumb in my ass!”

Logan chuckled but slid the tip of his thumb into her sleek ass.  She frightened him, intimidated him and excited him all at the same time.  She moaned loudly as he filled her completely but still she begged for more.  Logan, still apprehensive but excited beyond anything he’d known, took her hint and began to speed up his pace.  It only brought him closer to orgasm but he painfully withheld the best that he could.

Leila began to shake uncontrollably as her orgasm seared through her body, causing her extremities to tingle.  He began to slow his pace, but she still needed him to fill her.  “Come for me, please.  I
need
it!”

They were merely words to her now that her orgasm had subsided.  But they were words that always seemed to bring her partners to their climax.   Logan was no different from other men as he drove into her deep and held himself there, filling her completely with his hot liquid.  When he was finally released from his own orgasm, he pulled out of her.  Leila was again caught off guard as he lifted her from behind and spun her into his arms.  She felt as tiny as a rag doll as he handled her.  He stood in the middle of her mother’s living room as he gathered her into fetal position against his chest, “Damn, Leila.”  He studied her pale blue eyes cautiously, searching for affirmation that she wasn’t injured.  “Please tell me I didn’t hurt you.”

Leila smiled and kissed him lovingly with her swollen lips, “I’m not going to deny that I might find it hard to walk tomorrow, but every uncomfortable step will just make me horny for more of you, I imagine!”

“Not sure if that’s a good thing or not!” Logan laughed.  Already she enjoyed the sound of happiness in his laughter.  It was a sound she could live with forever.  But Leila wasn’t a teenager with her first crush; she’d had great sex before.  Okay she had to admit that she’d never had sex quite like
that
before but still, she had to maintain some semblance of normalcy.  She had to remind herself that love was a luxury for those who didn’t mind languishing at the bottom of the food chain.  Instantly she convinced herself that Logan couldn’t take her where she wanted to be…in the White House.  Her mind was now taking sides against her, she wanted this man more than anything she’d ever wanted in her life…or did she?  She finally broke the growing silence by patting his leg.  As he stood her up on her feet again she said, “C’mon, let’s grab a shower!”

Coffee?  Really?

It was strange to be awake at this hour, especially on a Sunday,
she thought.  Leila swung her legs over the edge of the bed and wiped her eyes.  7:15 a.m. blinked furiously on the alarm clock next to her bed.  What was even stranger was the smell of freshly brewing coffee and the faint sounds of someone rustling around in the kitchen. 
No way
, she thought with panic.

Leila pulled her hair back into a haphazard pony tail and slipped her feet into giant fuzzy slippers as she made her way down the stairs.  Her mother was at the kitchen table, sipping a cup of coffee and reading the morning paper.  Patricia Johnson looked as though she was the cat who’d eaten the canary.  “Good morning, Mother.  I thought you were in Boston with Elise?”  What had she heard?  Logan had finally left at around four in the morning; they hadn’t bothered to be quiet because they were sure no one was home!

“Good morning, Leila,” she said, without even bothering to look up from her paper.  “Coffee is ready, and there are fresh bagels in the pantry.”  Leila took notice that her mother had already put on her make-up and was dressed to go out.

“Morning.  Why are we up so early?” Leila mumbled in response.  What she really wanted to ask was
why the fuck are you here and what do you know
?

“There have been some developments in District 2, and we’ve all have to cut our weekend short I’m afraid.  I didn’t think you be moving before noon, after being up so late.”

“I’m sorry, Mother.  I thought you were in Boston.  Did I disturb you last night?”

“Not at all.  In fact, I barely heard you two.  Of course I only came in around two in the morning,” she said, her crooked little smile barely covered by the fine bone china coffee cup she pressed to her lips.  She raised an eyebrow and winked, as if to give her approval.  “I trust Logan had a good time?”

“Mother!” Leila said, feigning protest.  “Really?”

Patricia chuckled under her breath.  “I think it’s absolutely perfect.”

“You would.”  Leila was beyond humiliated that her mother had been home for at least part of last night.

“So, you gonna tell me?” Patricia posed defiantly on her kitchen chair.  She wanted, no needed to know just how serious this was between her daughter and Logan.  If there was going to be some kind of backlash at the office from jealous interns, she wanted to be a step ahead.

“Tell you what?”

“Gonna see him again?”

Leila shot the most disapproving look she could muster, shook her head and sipped her coffee.  “Mistake.  Bad mistake.”  It didn’t matter what Leila really felt about last night, the bottom line was that Logan didn’t fit into her plans.  There was no need for her mother to exaggerate the matter and make it into something more than what it was:  Leila and Logan having a good time.  Besides, the thought of making her mother happy or excited about anything turned her stomach.

“I think it’s perfect.  He’s grown into quite a handsome young man.”

Leila laughed to herself;
yeah he has… grown that is
.  “I don’t think it’s a good idea, Mother.  Besides, I have so much to do, and I’ll be starting law school in a few weeks.”

“I guy like Logan could help you, ya’ know.  In the future.”

“I seriously doubt that mother, besides he’s not my type.”  No matter how hard her mother pressured her she wasn’t going to tell her that Logan was fucking amazing in every way.  The only problem with Logan was that he had no political drive; as a matter of fact he didn’t seem driven to do a whole lot other than make her come repeatedly.  That in itself would be enough for most women, but Leila wasn’t most women.  She had to prove herself in this world, prove herself worthy.

“C’mon, Leila.  You telling me Logan doesn’t meet your standards?  What the hell’d they teach you at boarding school?”

Leila’s eyes flashed danger in neon, “Oh no worries Mother, they taught me exactly what you wanted them to.  Not to expect a single thing from anyone.”

“Well that certainly is cynical and crass, even if I say so myself,” Patricia met her daughter’s icy glare.  “You know dear, there’s nothing wrong with being in love at your age.  I was in love with a man once; it was incredible.  Of course two young people just playing around is healthy too.  I think my point here is that hurting Logan is a bad idea.  If you don’t have feelings for him, then don’t imagine yourself dragging him around as your pretty sidekick.  Let him go.  Lord knows the girls are lining up to get in his pants.  I was starting to think he was gay.”

Leila couldn’t help but laugh; she’d wondered that same thing early last night.  The irony of her mother being concerned about Logan’s feelings didn’t fly over her head either.  Her mother hadn’t said,
I hope he doesn’t hurt
you
…it was hurting Logan is a bad idea!
 Regardless, Leila wasn’t going to give her mother an inch to spin.  “Let’s categorize it as just playing around, Mother.  No one is going to get hurt.  It was a just a ‘one time’ thing.”

“Well, if you say so.  It’s a shame though; you two would make a helluva pair.”  Patricia sipped her coffee silently before adding, “You absolutely sure there’s nothing there?”

Even Leila couldn’t quite put her finger on it.  For the most part, he was a perfect gentleman.  In fact, maybe
too
much of a gentleman.  Maybe that was the entire problem with Logan, he didn’t require being conquered?  “I dunno, Mother!  Why do you even care?” She said with frustration.

For most mothers, that kind statement from their child would be devastating.  For Patricia, it didn’t even sting.  She had her reasons for wanting Leila to find love with Logan.  It would serve so many purposes!  For one it would keep her away from David.  She wasn’t giving up on the notion of Leila and Logan quite so easily.  Perhaps a bit of prompting was in order.  “Of course I care, my dear.  Everyone should experience love at least once in their life.”

“Well, I don’t know what’s between me and Logan, but rest assured it is
not
love.”  She said the words, but that was the first time she even considered something like love as a reason for her feelings.  In truth, Leila had no idea what most of her feelings were when it came to Logan; all she knew was that he excited her. 
Maybe it was love, maybe not.  Either way, right now it doesn’t fit into my schedule.
Again her mind was battling against her rationale.

“Leila, I’m not going to pretend to be something I’m not.  I wasn’t designed to be a mother; I’ve sucked at it and I don’t deny that.  It was your father who wanted you so badly; he was going to raise you while I worked my career.  That didn’t work out for any of us, but if I have one motherly statement inside me it’s don’t dismiss love.”

“What would you know about love?” Leila asked, making no effort to hide her disdain.

“You think I don’t know love?  Your father and I were inseparable.  He hung the moon for me, and I sliced it up and put it on crackers for him.  I pray nightly that you will find a love like that.  I damn sure know what it’s like to not have it in your life, and it’s not something I want for you.”

Leila stared at her mother in awe; she let out a long breath of air.  All of a sudden, a tiny speck of… what was it, compassion for her mother spread through her?  “Relax Mother.  There’ll be plenty of time for me to find love.  Right now I’m concentrating on my career, thank you.”  Leila was beginning to think that Logan had somehow passed on some ‘nice’ sperm last night; she should have taken her mother’s head off for pestering her about her relationship with Logan.  But if Patricia kept on about it this chat was going to turn sour…fast.

Patricia sensed this conversation was beginning to go in the wrong direction, and instead of fanning the flames, she decided to drop it.  “I’ve got to go get ready.  I need you to be prepared for a trip to District 2.  I’m not sure of the schedule yet so keep your phone on and be ready to go when or if Wendy calls you.”

“Sure, no problem,” Leila forced a smile.

Patricia nodded as she rose from the table and marched off to finish getting dressed.  Leila poured a cup of coffee and mulled the thought of love around in her head.  She hadn’t thought of love being the emotion she was feeling, but it made sense.  She didn’t really have any experience with it, so it was hard to tell.

District 2

The problem with District 2 had escalated to the point that a team had to be sent in to diffuse mounting aggression from the Shipyard Workers Union.  The Senator himself had been called in to mediate, so Leila found herself muddling through her notes on a private jet.  Across from her Wendy Adams snored lightly against the soft leather seat.  Her mother and the Senator were huddled in an agitated conference, and a stewardess anxiously paced up and down the single aisle.  Leila had no interest in the shipyard workers; she’d read their affidavits and pleas for relief and had discarded them in her mind as petty.  Half the country was on unemployment and these people were bitching about 401k’s and insurance premiums.  She didn’t have the patience or the inclination to give them what they wanted.  When she had her hand
(or lips)
on the pulse of the President, you could bet that the unions wouldn’t hold so much power.  That is if she didn’t dissolve them altogether.  She was tired of all the squabbling;
these people needed to make concessions and get their asses back to work
.

After they checked into their suites at the Hyannis Resort and Conference Center, Leila took the time to soak in a long bath.  She hadn’t had time to call Logan and let him know that she was leaving town.  The mere thought disturbed her.  She laughed at herself, one thing her mother had said kept resounding in her mind,
don’t hurt Logan
.  As the hot bath relaxed the still aching muscles in her groin, she replayed their lovemaking in her mind.  At first she’d thought he was unpracticed, even clumsy… that had been a grave miscalculation on her part.  The man knew what he was doing; he just knew that his cock could be considered a weapon of mass destruction!  If he was inexperienced, it wasn’t for lack of available partners; it was because he was deathly afraid of issuing pain instead of pleasure.

She’d been intimidated by the size of him too, so it wasn’t a stretch
(oh I’m funny this evening)
to think that other women would see his cock and race to the nearest exit.  Leila herself had been impressed with how her body had accepted his size.  Sure, she was sore afterwards, but with practice she imagined she could get in shape to handle it on a regular basis.  She silently cursed this surprise trip, and if her mother hadn’t insisted that she tag along to,
for what, to get coffee for everyone?
She’d be in Logan’s bed right now.