Shades of Shame (Semper Fi) (17 page)

She turned the key in her ignition, nothing happened.  Again she turned it, this time more frantically.  Still the car wouldn’t start.  Damn it!  Of all the sorry times for her battery to die!  She locked the car and rode the elevator back up to the office, the light was still on in Wendy Adam’s office and she lightly tapped on the door.  “Yep, come on in,” the woman called out.

Leila slid the door open and popped her head inside, “Wendy sorry to bother you but the battery in my car is dead.  Any way I could take one of the office vehicles?”

Wendy studied her from behind her desk, “Oh uh, sure Leila.”  She opened her desk drawer with a set of keys that had been lying on her desk.  “Hmmm… yeah, take this one,” she tossed Leila a set of keys across the room.  Leila caught them and smiled, “Thanks Wendy, I’ll bring it back on Monday if that’s okay?”

“Oh, that’s fine.  No problem at all.  Have a good weekend.”  Wendy Adams shot Leila a fake smile and returned to her computer screen.

Leila took the keys and returned to the elevator.  In the parking garage she found the small black SUV with the Massachusetts seal on the front doors.  She turned the ignition and started the car.  Satisfied that it was running well, she drove it around to her disabled BMW and transferred her luggage to the SUV.  She slid the manila envelope safely into one of her suitcases and closed it tightly.  Later she’d figure out how to dispose of the photos permanently.

The trip to Boston wasn’t overly long, going through New Jersey was a nightmare as usual, but after that the roads were scot free.  The blurs of farmland on either side of the interstate were soothing to her as her mind struggled with what to tell Logan.  There was no way to break this to him without ruining what they had.  She was fairly sure that any way she told it, she’d be looking for a hotel room tonight.

It was dusk when she pulled up to the address that Logan had given her.  The McNarry’s Boston home made their Washington mansion seem like a trailer home.  The giant white house bordered the Charles River and seemed to encompass an entire city block.  That kind of real estate was ridiculously expensive.  As she scanned the house Logan appeared on the front steps.  He jogged down the steps as she rolled down the window.  “What in the world are you doing driving this beast?”

“Ugh!  The battery died in my beamer, Wendy told me to take this one,” she shrugged.

“Damn it Leila, this is the car that always breaks down!”  Logan looked like Elise when he reprimanded her.  It was the first time he’d ever had cause to scold her about anything and instantly she knew that she’d never be able to stay angry with him, no matter what.  She guessed that the only time he’d ever be mad at her was when she worried him, like she was getting ready to do.

“Alright, well scoot over and let me park it for you.”  He opened her door and leaned inside, “But first give me a kiss!”

His lips met hers before she had the chance to tell him she doubted he’d want to do that.  Since it was most likely their last kiss she took her time tasting him.  He’d been eating something that reminded her of cherry popsicles; he was delicious.  Her tongue licked his lips generously as the small hairs around his mouth scratched her face.  His hands went to her hair and wound a handful around his fist; he pulled her head back and took a deep breath, “Damn girl!  You take my breath away!  Come on let’s park this monster and get inside before I strip you right here in the street!”

She licked her lips as he released her hair, “Cherry popsicles?”

Logan laughed as he climbed into the car with her, “Guess you’ll learn all my bad habits soon enough,” he put the car into drive and pulled down a narrow driveway to the back of the house.  “When I study, I eat gummy bears.  Can’t get enough of them!”

“Seriously?  Gummy bears?” Leila chuckled.

“Yep!  Well, here we are at my luxurious abode,” he said pointing to the carriage house behind the main house.

“You eat gummy bears and live in a garage?  Oh no, what have I gotten myself into!”  For a moment with him Leila forgot that she wouldn’t be with him for long.

“Oh come on inside, it’s not so bad!  Besides it isn’t a garage.  Iit used to be a stable a long time ago.”

“As in horses slept here?” Leila couldn’t help but laugh, regardless of her circumstances Logan seemed to make her worries disappear.  She was sure that wouldn’t last long.

“Sure enough, here, let me get your luggage,” he opened the door and walked around to her side of the SUV.  She was gathering her purse when he opened the door for her.  His charming manners caused her to giggle.  “What’s so funny?” he asked standing beside the car waiting for her to get out.

“Oh nothing, I’m just not used to being with the nice guy that’s all,” she grinned up at him.

“Well, get used to it sweetheart, because if my Grandmama saw me not opening a door for a lady she’d haunt me in my sleep.”

Leila climbed from the car as Logan shut the door and then went to get her luggage from the back, “Logan, just leave it for now,” she muttered.  The reality of what she needed to talk to him about hit home like a boulder.

Logan shrugged and led her to the front door of his carriage house.  It was constructed of red brick like most of the homes in Washington had been, but intricately carved details around the eaves, doors and windows showed that an attempt was made to match it to the main house at some point in time.  Leila loved these old homes; so much character and history.  As she stepped inside she knew that this was Logan’s home.  It wasn’t large, but the entire main floor was open with huge natural wood beams that ran the entire length of the ceiling.  The walls were a mixture of sheetrock and brick and the furniture was all leather and heavy. 
This was a home for man of great stature,
Leila thought.  His couch was oversized for a sofa.  She smiled as her eyes scanned his belongings; neatness wasn’t one of his better traits she noticed.  A long heavy farm style table was littered with empty pizza boxes, books, and papers.

“Logan, this is beautiful!” she exclaimed as she wandered into the room.

“I tried to straighten up a bit when you texted that you were coming,” he said awkwardly.

“Really?” Leila laughed.

Logan grabbed her and pulled her to him, “So I’m a slob now?  Hmmm… well you can re-decorate it any way you want my dear.” He kissed her romantically in the middle of his living room.

When she pulled away he sensed there was something wrong, “You didn’t come here to check out my living conditions, did you?”  Logan felt a wave of heaviness come over him.  Leila had tears starting in the corners of her eyes.

She shook her head sadly, “Can we sit and talk for a while?”

“Ugh!  Please tell me why it is that the minute I find the woman of my dreams there’s something wrong?  Isn’t there ever a love story that doesn’t have drama?  Why can’t people ever be in love and that’s all there is?  Alright, come on and tell me what’s bothering you.  I got a hundred bucks that says it’s my Dad,” he pulled her by the hand to his massive sofa.

Leila sat down and found herself sliding deeply into the plush cushions.  Logan sat down next to her and took her hand, “Come on Leila spill it, and we’ll figure out how to deal with it.”

She sat quietly fiddling with the polish on her nails; there was no easy way to say this.  “Logan, I had an affair with your Dad.”  Her head hung low in shame.

“What!” He flew from the sofa to stand in front of her; already his eyes were flashing warning signs.  “When exactly did you have time for an affair?  We’ve only been together a few weeks?”

Leila shook her head strongly, “No it started before… and then during.  I ended it.”  She really didn’t have words for this.  “Before um… I met you, I was into some serious domination stuff.  Your Dad is into it really big time… we sort of fell together I guess.  I thought if I screwed him that I’d get where I needed to get faster.  Screwing my way to the top so to speak, only in this case it was more like whipping my way to the top.”

“Oh God Leila,” Logan sat back down on the sofa, a sizable way from her this time she noticed with impending gloom.

“Look Logan, I’m going to tell you how it is.  What I’m going to say it gonna hurt, but it’d be worse if it came from someone else.  This was the only thing I knew, I’d never experienced anything remotely like love before I met you.  All I had was this body and my looks.  My mother flat out told me that she never even wanted me, my father was dead, and I had no one my entire life.  I hate to admit it, but I learned to use what I had on hand to get me places.  Even when I met you it took me a long time to understand what I was feeling.  No one had shown me love before, not one single person in my entire life.”  Leila’s tears streamed down her face, she bent over and wiped them on the hem of her shirt noisily.

“And for some irrational reason you thought you’d find love with my father?  I could’ve told you that was a waste of time,” he muttered.

“No, but if I was going to make anything out of myself I had to wear short skirts, flash some legs and boobs, and do what I had to do.  Nothing in my plans included love… or you.”

“What about now, Leila?  Do they include me now?” Logan’s anger was seeping from every pore.  Leila couldn’t blame him, but why was he asking if her plans included him now?

She shook her head, “Logan, if you’ll still have me then, I promise you that my plans will no longer include anyone but you.”  It was a shot in the dark, but she needed him to know that she still wanted him.  She wanted him more than she’d ever wanted anything.  Leila slid off the sofa onto the floor in front of him.  She was on her knees between his thighs.  Pulling his hands away from his face she looked into his eyes, “Logan, I’m sorry.  I didn’t know you when it all started, and I was doing the only thing I knew how to do.  I’m begging you Logan, please forgive me?  Please tell me that we can get past this?”

Logan’s eyes stared into her crystal blue orbs; he could tell she was shaken to her core.  It must have been the hardest thing she’d ever had to do to tell him this.  Rationally he knew that it was an incredible sign of respect that she’d even told him at all.  Most of the girls he knew would’ve lied, broken up with him, or just not told him at all.  Then one day someone would come along and say ‘Hey dude, I fucked your girlfriend.’  No, Leila had taken the bull by the horns and had come out with it, as nasty as it was.  “Did you fuck him Leila?”

Again her head searched the floor below them; she was still on her knees, “Once, and yes he wore a condom.”

Logan nodded miserably, “Leila, I wasn’t kidding when I said that I love you.  I want to marry you one day, have blonde babies that look just like you.  But this is pretty earth shattering news; can we just try not to talk about it?  Maybe see if I can get the image out of my mind?  Right now I feel like throwing up.  This makes me physically ill.”

She took his hands in hers and examined them finger by finger, “I’ll do anything you want if you say you there’s even a prayer in heaven that you’ll forgive me.”  She studied his eyes for a glimmer of hope.

He leaned down and pulled her into his lap holding her close to his chest, “I bought you a boat.”

Leila tilted her face to look at him, she didn’t understand.  “What?”

“I bought you a boat.  It was what my Dad gave my Mom as an engagement present.  I wanted to give you one.  I know you don’t sail, but I thought I could teach you,” Logan mulled.  There was so little either of them could say right now that would make any difference in the way they felt.

“Most people give rings, but a boat is a nice sentiment too, I guess…” Leila smiled through the streams of tears still rolling down her face.  It was the glimmer of hope she needed.  He pecked her lightly on the lips and put his head on her shoulder and cried.

David’s Shade

David carefully placed the two wine glasses on the small table next to the love seat in Elise’s room.  He hadn’t actually been in this room in a while, and her recent decorating changes were unfamiliar to him.  He tested the loveseat, and sank in to relax.  He loosened his tie and opened the small note card with his name on it.

Pour us a couple of glasses of wine, my dear!  Get comfortable and I’ll join you in a bit.

He kicked off his shoes and surveyed the room as he poured the wine.

Elise called to him from her open bathroom door, “David?  Is that you?”

“Yes, dear.”

“Be right out!”

He sipped the deep red wine slowly.  Not his choice of drink, but it would
do in a pinch
, he thought.  He stretched his legs out and wiped his brow, leaving his forearm over his eyes as he allowed the wine to wash away the day’s tension.  The rustle of fabric caught his attention as he heard Elise behind him.

“Well?”

“Well what?” David asked from under his arm.

“What do you think?”

He let out an audible sigh, a signal to Elise that he was tired and not in the mood for games.  “What?” he asked as he lowered his arm and turned to Elise.  “Whoa!”

“Like what you see?” Elise asked.

An evil grin washed over his face as he took her in.  Elise was beautiful, but tonight dressed in the most incredible black leather bustier and stockings.  His eyes scanned down her legs to the four inch leather heels she wore, and back up the fishnet stockings to her thighs.  She had leather, arm length gloves and a whip in her hand.  “Hell yes!” David said.  “Absolutely!”

“Well…” she started as she stepped in front of him.  “I had an interesting weekend, to say the least.”

“From the looks of that outfit, I’d say you did!”

“We’ll get to that shortly, Mister McNarry.”

David didn’t like the sound of that, but she stood straddling his outstretched legs and clenched the short leather whip in her hands.  She was
sexier than she’d ever been
, he thought.  “And what brought all this on?”

Elise pointed her finger towards him, then curled it back toward her face and said, “We need to talk, my dear.  Meet me in the ‘guest’ room.  And darling?”

“Yes?”

“Leave your clothes.”