Shade of Destiny (The Foreseeing) (60 page)

    
“It was not your fault, the Dagger of Night is centuries old, created by some of the first Magus and Mages, the magic was created for a dark purpose and when you first held it you had not inherited all of your magic. You cannot blame yourself.”

    
Wynn heard him speak but his words meant nothing; she could not free herself of her sorrow. Every time he spoke kindly to her it made her feel worse, she deserved a beating and harsh words to be shouted in her face, not kindness. She found herself suddenly wishing for the Master’s brutality, for right now she deserved it. Taien heard her thoughts but did not comment on them, he knew right now nothing would drag Wynn from her sorrows.

    
“I think you should sleep Wynn,” he said softly, “everything will be easier to deal with in the morning, once you have slept well.”

    
Wynn opened her mouth to argue but her bed looked so inviting in the moonlight. She nodded and clambered under the sheets, still fully clothed and filthy and was instantly asleep. Taien stood by her until he knew she was safe in her dreams, his face soft, before leaving and closing the door softly behind him.

    
Wynn woke to the sound of birdsong and smiled. She opened her eyes and watched the golden light filter through her window and could not help but feel happy. It occurred to her that she had not felt happy for a long while but wrapped up in the freshness of the morning she could not remember why. She lay back on the soft bed and allowed the emotions and presence of everyone at the Seminary to wash over her; she wondered why it felt strange to do so. Did she not surround herself with countless people’s emotions every day? It was relaxing to experience unimportant feelings, impatience at a lost shirt, happiness at the beautiful morning, boredom, but soon those docile emotions shifted and she was suddenly and forcefully surrounded by irritation, anger, fear and sadness. It was potent and inescapable and she could not understand why. What had happ– and then it hit her.

    
She remembered ferociously, every single thing and the sadness that had been so choking last night settled over her like a fog. Because of her... suffering because of her. She threw her covers off angrily and sat up. She did not know how to feel now, it was undeniable that her voice, her body had ordered the creatures to attack the Seminary, but a voice of reason told her she could not have helped it. Was Lady Fate not working here, in some way that she did not understand yet? Could some goodness be salvaged from this? No one had died and she clung desperately to that fact, she had murdered no one, this time. Wynn swung her legs over the side of the bed and focused less intensely on the collection of emotions around her, she would feel them if she was paying attention or not.

    
Clothes had been laid out on the dresser, black leggings and a soft white tunic with black stitching. They were pleasant and would be a relief compared to the blood soaked, sweat covered clothes she wore now. Wynn walked over to door and scanned for anyone close by. The corridor was clear and she hurried out, fumbling as she locked her door in her haste. She ran though the corridor and the one connecting it, but she felt a familiar presence nearing. Not their emotions, or urges or their thoughts, but the very essence of their life. Taien. She ran quickly and reached the bathroom door just as he turned the corner. If he was suspicious of the door that closed he did not show it and Wynn heard his footsteps walk past.

    
Wynn let go of the breath she had been holding. She was not afraid of seeing him; more of what she would feel when she saw his face. This was the first time she had thought clearly in weeks and she could not forget the hurt she had felt at his lying just after she had been attacked by the Hybrid creatures. Did she feel like that now? After everything it seemed incredibly petty. It was safer to stay away until she knew how she felt. Wynn set her clothes on the floor and locked the doors and windows tightly before filling the bath with warm water and adding an array of spices and herbs to make the water sweet.

    
As she lowered herself into the bath she could not help the groan of pleasure that escaped from her lips. The warm water felt so good against her hurts and wounds and she remembered how much she loved baths and how it was often her place to think. Wynn let her thoughts swirl around aimlessly, not catching hold of any specifically. She felt too many things at once to think coherently but she knew with a certainty that although she would forever feel guilty for the destruction of the Seminary she would not shoulder all of the blame. It was a relief to forgive herself, in part.

    
“Wynn?”

    
Wynn jumped at the sound of her name which echoed through the bathroom door and around the room. Bath water spilt over the edge and Wynn pushed down the panic that jumped into her throat.

    
“Yes?” She squeaked back, her voice uneven.

    
“It’s me, Taien, I’m sorry to bother you and really wish I was not having this conversation through a door, a bathroom door at that, but I was wondering how you were and if you would accompany me to the Great Hall when you are done?”

    
Wynn’s stomach clenched, though why she was not sure. She put it down to nerves of seeing her friend, who she had been trying to avoid. How was she? Better certainly, that would please him.

    
“In answer to your first question, I am better,” Wynn replied, imagining the wry smile that would have stretched across Taien’s face at her choice of words, “and I will of course come with you to the Great Hall, I shan’t be much longer.”

    
“Good, see you soon,” he called through the door and Wynn heard him walk away.

    
Wynn finished washing her hair and stepped out of the bath, dried herself and dressed quickly. Suddenly she was anxious to get to the Great Hall, she had the feeling that something big was about to happen, for ill or good she could not tell. She was glad her hair was short for it would dry much quicker and she pushed it behind her ears and walked hurriedly through the corridors. She did not look around her at the walls that had crumbled; she was not strong enough yet to face them head on, so she kept her head down, watching her feet. She was surprised to see no students or professors prowling the hall but as she neared the Great Hall the emotions she had been experiencing since she woke up seemed oddly centralised and she realised that they were all there, the students, professors and even the servants. She opened the door warily.

    
Over three hundred eyes swivelled toward her and she felt oddly like she had been plunged into a freezing and violent lake. Every single emotion was like a knife in her heart because all of them were focused on her in some way or another. She blushed under the numerous eyes and lowered her head in shame. She could pick Arabella out, even in the sea of emotions, she stood so confidently, arrogantly some would say, and she was regarding her friend carefully. Wynn sent her magic out into her mind.

    
“
Arabella
.” Wynn could think of nothing else to say, but it seemed that it was enough, for Arabella’s emotions softened and a trickle of love found its way forward. Wynn smiled.

    
“
You look well enough, I imagined an entirely different Wynn. I am so glad you are well, this could have ended so badly
.”

    
Wynn gestured with her eyes, and sent memories through the mental link of the destruction she had seen, “
And this is not bad enough? What are we doing here
?”

    
In this Arabella was tight-lipped and she pushed Wynn from her mind gently and Wynn looked up in surprise. She quickly located Arabella in the crowd, her beautiful face and long hair and thin frame so different to those of the students, she was to her left, leaning against the wall and gazing at Irik and Nethali who were padding silently towards Wynn, their faces soft. When they reached Wynn they stood either side of her, protectively.

    
“I have called you all so Wynn can explain what happened here,” Taien called, his powerful voice reaching to the far corners of the room, though its right to be called a room had gone when the northern wall had crumbled, it was now just a structure allowing golden sunlight to beam through, “it is something you all deserve and I am sure Wynn will gladly tell you the tale.”

    
He glanced quickly at Wynn’s face and she was unsure what he saw, she did not have the energy to force a blank expression. It was probably one of terror, or shock. She swallowed, yes the students and professors and servants all deserved an explanation as to why she had destroyed their home and sanctuary, it was the least she could do. She felt Nethali wrap her arm around her shoulders and somehow it made her stronger, she would be completely honest in this tale.

    
How long it took, Wynn was unsure, once she started she could not stop. She did not tell everything to the hundreds of faces that watched her, there were things that were too painful to discuss or remember, and things that were just not relevant, but everything else was laid out before her. She started from the beginning, sometimes using magic to explain a difficult situation or experience, creating the scene before them, in the form of moving pictures. It was good for the servants, who could not feel her sincerity as she told her story. She reached the telling of Procel, where the tale really began, and explained everything, every sight, how she had felt, she had the need for them to truly understand.

    
She missed out her meeting with Medea and her time with Wolf and her tribe; she caught Arabella’s eyes as she passed over them and caught the slightest of nods. Arabella approved. Next came her time in the Seminary, here she left nothing out either, the students needed to hear her point of view, especially those who carried hostile intentions towards her. If they still felt that way after she had finished then that was their prerogative but she deserved the chance to explain. Soon she had reached the part where the darkness took over and there was no way to describe how it had felt other than showing them. Many gasped and Wynn was relieved when eventually they began to understand.

    
When she had finished her tale Irik too placed his arm around her and now three hundred eyes looked sympathetically at her. It was almost worse than the hate they had radiated a moment ago.

    
“I hope in time you can learn to forgive me, I have told my tale and it is up to you to take from it what you will.”

    
“You have all listened well,” Nethali smiled, “but now I must ask you to leave and continue your packing and planning, we all have a long journey ahead of us.”

    
Wynn glanced at her but she was smiling sweetly and innocently. She would find out soon enough, she watched the students; professors and servants file from the room, amused at the range of emotions that passed. Anger, pity, shock, amazement, and so many other unexpected ones like respect.

    
The room was silent and only Taien, Arabella, Irik and Nethali were left. They all converged in the middle of the room, in a loose circle, Irik and Nethali hugging, and Wynn leaning on Arabella. Wynn expected it to be awkward, and certainly it was but they had survived through so much that Wynn forced herself to forget it and be grateful that they still stood here with her, she needed them now, especially now she had come to a serious and important conclusion.

    
“I have to go to The Rune,” Wynn announced, “to save everyone, the darkness showed me a vision of the thousands of people imprisoned there and I cannot allow it to continue now I am free.”

 
   
“No,” Taien replied, “you do not have to do anything; what you should do is think before you act. I propose you come with me to my homeland and learn how to use your magic before you even consider travelling to The Rune.”

    
“We do not have time!” Wynn cried.

    
“Would you rather charge headlong to The Rune and face Aerona and lose, resulting in the death of many or go to my homeland, learn to use your magic and face Aerona when you know you can win?” Taien retorted.

    
Wynn hung her head, his words spoke true but she knew that she would never be content until she had freed those people and killed Aerona. She knew all of them felt her determination but she was glad they respected her enough not to respond to her thoughts and instead Irik cleared his throat.