Shackles of Honor (39 page)

At this utterance, Cassidy was completely undone. To have him talk of such things so plainly was unendurable. Before she could regain her composure, however, he continued, “You’re a beautiful woman. Any man would judge you so. I don’t understand why there would be doubt in your mind about my wanting
—
”

“That is not what I meant!” she interrupted emphatically. The whole situation was humiliating as well as lewd. “You brute! All men are so governed physically. Women are not so. Our hearts and minds govern us
,
and no matter how handsome you are, no matter how masculine and capable of making other women swoon by blessing them with your glance…it will seem a kind of
torture for me to allow you to…
to…”
S
he was flustered, for his expression was unchanging, simply serious as if they were discussing politics. “Any woman, were she moderately attractive and well-formed, would do for you! But I…I…”

“You again offend me with your low estimation of my character, girl!” he shouted suddenly. “To accuse me of…why…you may as well compare me to the snake that writhes on its belly as to lump me in with every other honorless male on earth.” He moved closer to her, his eyes blazing with anger. “Furthermore…you’ll
allow
me to do nothing! You will share sincerely in everything I do or not at all!”

“I cannot! Everything is duty to you. Everything! How can you expect me to participate in a marriage, a life, in anything, when I know that you go about it because of your duty to…”

“I go about nothing that is intimate as a duty.” His chest rose and fell heavily with his anger and frustration, but drawing in a deep breath, he seemed to calm himself. His eyes burned, searing her own. She was surprised to see something not unlike hurt evident in them. “Let’s put it to the test then, shall we
?
” he growled at her. “What better time to find out if you can endure my attentions.”

“What? How dare you!” she said through clenched teeth.

“Don’t panic, my beauty. I plan no violation of you other than testing the water where you and I are concerned.”

“How dare you appear so improperly void of clothing in my chambers. What if a servant or your mother were to happen in on this
?
”

“Then, I reiterate once again…this is my house
,
and I do as I please in it. No one will question me,” he assured her, taking another step toward her—so close was he then that she could feel the warmth of his breath on her forehead as she looked up at him.

She would’ve thought it impossible, for she already feared her heart might beat itself to failure so frantic did it hammer
;
still
,
it caused her chest to ache with its mad drumming. She knew Mason well enough to know that her virtue was not threatened. He was an honorable gentleman, especially where she was concerned. But her attention was so arrested by the brilliance, the sheer magnificence of him, that she was unsure she could keep her thoughts orderly.

He stood directly before her now
,
and Cassidy could only stare up into his narrowed eyes. “I…I’m ordering you to leave immediately,” she whispered.

But he only continued to stare at her. “You think me so unfeeling,” he mumbled. “So hardened and impervious. Well, I confess it to you now…as good to do it now as to wait.”

Instantly, as he reached out and ran the back of his hand the length of her arm from her wrist to her shoulder, Cassidy began to tremble, her entire body alive with goose bumps. Never had she doubted her attraction to him. Never. She’d only doubted that he could find her desirable. His touch was nearly too wonderful to endure, but she stood straight and determined.

“What could you ever confess to me that I would desire to hear?” she managed to choke from her throat.

“Simply a reassurance,
p
udding. A reassurance that when the time comes…when you are forced to submit to a life with me, my title, my necessity of furthering the family line…” His hand cupped first her throat and then the bareness of her shoulder for a moment. “A reassurance that had you been given to marry a vile man instead of me…that were I a degenerate…my beauty, your precious virtue would have been compromised long ago.”

Cassidy gasped
,
and Mason grinned mischievously, the anger gone from his eyes and replaced with apparent desire. She felt his free hand encircle her waist as he pulled her slowly toward him. His hand slipped from her shoulder and grasped her arm tightly to assist in his embracing her. Cassidy’s being trembled uncontrollably as his mouth hovered only an inch above hers. Her mind and soul begged silently for his kiss
—a
t last to taste his kiss, to sense, to know if she could please him somehow. But, painfully, the conversation she had overheard between him and Gabrielle on the veranda came shouting into her mind. It was his promise to Gabrielle that found him here
,
t
hat found her in his arms. His promise to another woman.

“Let go of me,” she nearly sobbed. “You’ve nothing to prove to me. I’ll not serve as your lover’s proxy. I will not!”

“Whatever do you go on about, girl?” he asked, sighing heavily.

“I heard you
.
I…I heard you on the veranda tonight…with her. I heard her tell you to kiss me. I want none of your charity and none of her pity!” He released her, frowning, and took a step backward. “She instructed you to kiss me, didn’t she? And don’t deny it, Mason Carlisle, for I heard it with my own ears. Saw her eyes yearning for you with my own. That is what finds you here now. Your lover’s instruction.” Beaten, she buried her face in her hands and sobbed uncontrollably.

“I’ll say this to you once more, Miss Shea. Once more and then I swear that if you ask me to do so again, I’ll take to tearing the walls of this house down around your ears. Yes!” he nearly shouted. “Yes, I had such a discussion with Gabrielle this evening. Yes! But she is not my lover. Nor my mistress nor anything else to me that your imagination concocts other than friend. I seem to remember having this conversation before
—
you attired in that red dress, me hardly attired at all…the hallway outside my father’s room the night I left. Do you remember it?”

Cassidy continued sobbing into her hands, but Mason took hold of her arm, causing her to look up at him. “Do you remember the red dress, Miss Shea? The corridor outside my father’s room? The night that Mathias fairly saved your virtue?” Cassidy could make no answer but tried to stop her bitter sobbing. “You were upset with the way she touched me. You said she laid claim to me by her manner of touch
,
and I told you that night to lay claim to me. But you refused. Did you not?”

“No! I…I…”

“You refused and tormented me to the point that I would’ve ravaged you then and there in the hallway had Mathias not intervened! I tell you now, it will not be a chore to have you, Cassidy Shea! I tell you now that Gabrielle had not instructed me
that
night
,
and you haven’t a shred of suspicion about what my lack of strength may have afforded you then. Strip me of my pride now, as I salvaged yours this night, as I beg you
—p
lease do not insinuate further my having a secret relationship with Gabrielle. I’ve pledged my troth to you this very night…before all those within the sound of my voice. I think on her no more. And I did not come here now out of duty to a promise made to another woman.” Taking her shoulders in his strong hands, he lowered his voice and seemed to calm his anger
, though he still spoke harshly.
“I may not be your honey-tongued Gavin Clark, and I may not be so high, well
-
mannered
,
and perfectly dressed as your brother. But I’m no philanderer!”

His shoulders drooped defeatedly
,
and he hung his head for a moment before her. She sensed that he was as physically fatigued as was she. But why then had he come? “If…if wh
at you say is true…
then what finds you here in my own chamber at such an hour?”

“A promise,” he muttered, raising his head to look at her. His eyes were narrowed and showed his great fatigue. “A promise to you.”

“To me?” she asked.

“The promise to prove to you that I would want you even and especially if you were the last woman on earth, as you put it.”

Her mind was tired, but she did remember asking him to deny that he held no attraction to her. “I spoke in angered humiliation, sir. I…I…”

“The subject is too important, too intimate. Too much of your trust in me depends on your knowing that you can control me somehow.” Unexpectedly, he bent toward her, inhaling deeply of the fragrance at her neck. “Deny that to me,
p
udding. Deny to me that you want control of me. That you wish to hold the leash of Mason Carlisle, whom no one seems to be able to tame?”

“I do not wish to control you, sir,” she whispered, entranced by the feel of his breath on her neck. “I would not wish that.” She was truthful in her answer. Controlling his physical passions was not the way to own the man’s true heart. His hands slipped from her shoulders to find their place at her waist as he again pulled her closer to him.

“You lie, Miss Shea,” he breathed in a low whisper, his breath warm and enticing on her lips. His head bent
,
and he placed a lingering kiss on the shoulder that he’d only moments before caressed with his powerful hand. “So I confess it to you now, Cassidy.” He kissed her neck lightly several times
,
and Cassidy’s mind begged inwardly for his mouth to find her own. “I confess that it is a torture to me to have you walk into a room and have to restrain my touching you…to have you sleeping across the hall, in your own bed. When betrothal leaves…makes way for marriage between us…it will be no dismal chore to take you into mine, Cassidy…Bliss.” She did not miss the poignancy of his usage of her middle name.

She closed her eyes as he kissed her shoulder again and managed to whisper, “But that is merely lust.” She struggled frantically
,
and he simply released her gently.

“No. And if it were…would you rather I found you revolting?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“You’re such a liar, Bliss. I had no idea that you were lacking such an important virtue as honesty.” He grinned slightly again.

The tears again spilled from Cassidy’s eyes abruptly
,
and she buried her face in her hands, no longer concerned about the possibility of her bodice slipping away. “I’ve not the strength this night for our war of words, sir. Please, have mercy on me, on my feminine weakness, and leave me to the loneliness of the late hour.” She turned from him, letting her tears flow unfettered. Even when she felt his fingers fumbling with the buttons of her gown she did not cease her sobs. But in a moment
,
she realized his fingers labored to refasten the unfastened anchors.

When the last button was secure, she thrilled at the sound of his deep voice. “Forgive me, Miss Shea, but I’ve unfinished business. I’m a man. A man utterly frustrated for a fortnight upon being interrupted while laying claim to his…property.” He frowned, stumbling over his words in a very uncharacteristic manner, and Cassidy was distracted for a moment by his apparent mental agitation.

His words ceased
,
and his eyes softened as he looked at her. She felt his powerful hands at her waist as his head bent toward her. She closed her eyes tightly shut, for she surely could not endure his depriving her lips of his yet again. He pulled her body toward his until she was flush with him
,
and his hand left her waist as his arms embraced her loosely. He would kiss her shoulder again, she knew. She could feel his breath there
,
and she waited anxiously. But the moist kiss of his lips was elusive
,
and she thought she might scream if he did not soon kiss at least her neck. After long moments she realized that he was intentionally moving his head from her shoulder up the length of her neck
,
allowing his breath to caress her, but restricting his kiss, his lips to hovering just above her tingling skin.