Shackles of Honor (21 page)

Knowledge weighed heavily upon her mind and heart. Many emotions, frustrations
,
and obstacles whirled about
her. There was too much change. She felt greatly fatigued. She could no longer think on it all, could not ponder further her future, her fate, her feelings. Her eyelids felt as though they were made of lead
;
her limbs were weak and numb. Slowly she lay down on her side in the soft grass beneath the tree, placing her hands under her cheek to rest for only a moment. The breeze was warm and fragrant—the scent of lilac, iris
,
and pansy soothing.
The sound of the willow
swaying in the breeze was a lullaby of nature.

It seemed only moments had passed when she sensed a presence nearby. Slowly she opened her heavy eyelids and realized two boots stood in the grass beside her. She gasped as she pulled herself to a sitting position and gazed up into the angry, rather piratish expression of Mason Carlisle.

“Mother is beside herself,” he stated gruffly. “It’s nearly four hours since you were last seen.”

“I…I was merely walking and then sat here to rest. I suppose I must’ve…” Cassidy began awkwardly. Mathias came bounding up from behind his master and sat happily on his haunches, tongue hanging out as he panted, giving him the appearance of ignorant bliss.

“Please have the consideration to inform someone of your walking plans next time, would you?”

“I didn’t think I would be missed. I only wanted some fresh air and sun.” She felt her body and mind preparing to do battle with him. She would not give up her privacy simply because she was betrothed to a great hulking brute.

“Of course you were missed! The entire world revolves around you of recent! I suspect it always has. How could you expect to slip away unnoticed?” He was angry with her for no reason that she could discern.

“I perceive all too well your inference, Mr. Carlisle! Do not accuse me of being spoiled
.
T
he world does not revolve around me
,
n
or has it ever done so. In fact, I would venture to say that the world has revolved around none other than you! Everyone jumps when you enter the room. Your every whim is attended to as if it were the most important historic event of the century. And please!” she exclaimed. “For pity’s sake! There hangs in your family’s portrait gallery a painting of you as a pirate!” His jaw tightened
,
and the muscles in his forearms bulged visibly beneath his shirt as his hands clenched themselves into hardened fists. “I create no such havoc upon entering a room. Nor have I ever had any inclination toward adventure.”

“More is the pity,” he grumbled. “Then ours shall be a very dreary existence indeed.” Reaching down, he took hold of her arm, pulling her to her feet forcibly. “Come along now. The dear Ashmore family did not get their fill of your…charms last evening. Or at least Lady Ashmore did not. She somehow managed another invitation from my mother. Lord and Lady Ashmore, Corbel
,
and Gabrielle are to dine with us again.”

Again? Must she endure Gabrielle’s attentions to Mason again, and this time with no support of her own
?
Her mother had abandoned her completely
,
and it was unclear how long it would be before Ellis would arrive to champion her.

“I’m not ignorant enough to believe that it is an interest in
me
that brings them here once more,” she said, wrenching her arm from his grasp. “Nor am I blind. Do not insult me any further by feigning ignorance of your own as to their interest.” Haughtily she turned from him and began to walk away.

His hands were at her shoulders in the next moment
,
and she found herself being spun quickly around to face him. “Enough of this!” he shouted. “I’m far too old to be playing such games, Miss Shea. As are you. I am your betrothed. You are mine. Nothing will change it. It will go on. We will be wed and bound to each other. Fight me all you want, but in the end I will triumph!”

“Triumph?” she squeaked out. “What mean you by ‘triumph’?”

“I will be victorious. I will win, to put it plainly. You’ll become my wife—live out your life with me. The children you bear will be mine and own my name. There will be no Gavin Clark to come to your rescue. There will be only me. When you wake in the morning, it will be in my bed. When you eat your meals, it will be my face you see across the table from yours. It will be my hands that unfasten the buttons of your gown in the evening. My diamonds and gold will grace the curve of your throat. My wealth will feed and clothe you. My wells will quench your thirst. The night you agreed to wed me…the moment you stepped foot in my father’s house…you became mine. And I will own you completely! So stop this childish bantering, accept what you have chosen to do, and do it graciously!”

“Had you a sister
,
would you let her give herself up…surrender her very essence so easily as you demand that I do it?” Cassidy asked in a whisper.

His eyes narrowed
,
and he seemed confused for a moment. Looking away from her then, he released her shoulders and said eerily, “Go to the house and ease my mother’s worry regarding your safety. Go to the house
,
and speak no more to me this day.”

He gestured for her to precede him while he lagged behind her, Mathias ever at his heels, as they walked toward the house.



Cassidy humbly informed Lady Carlisle of her return and apologized for causing her concern. Still sensing Mason’s anger, she moved pas
t
him quickly, casting her eyes to the floor. Upon entering her chamber and closing the door, an overwhelming emotional fatigue overtook her. She lay upon her bed for some time trying to ease her tired mind.

“What is it that you said to Mr. Mason then, miss?” Katie asked in a whisper as she suddenly appeared in Cassidy’s chamber.

“What do you mean, Katie?” Cassidy asked, sitting up quickly.

“Well, his mother sent him out to find you. She was worried, you know…being that you were gone for so very long this afternoon. When he returned, he and Lady Carlisle were in conversation in the study when suddenly Mr. Mason burst from the room and shouted at the top of his lungs,
‘
Prepare my mount! I shall call for Lord Ashmore and his family myself
!’ His mother followed him. It was obvious he was vexed. Lady Carlisle took his arm in a gesture meant to calm him. Then he said…” Katie paused
,
as if she only just realized to whom she was speaking and thought better of continuing.

“Go on, Katie. Don’t end the tale now. What transpired?” Cassidy prodded.

“Well, miss, he…he… ‘
The tongue of the cruelest of
serpents is in that girl’s mouth
,’ he said to his mother. Milady scolded him,
but he went on with his accusation. ‘
Would you that she should cut my heart out and grind it into the ground beneath her boot, Mother
?’ he shouted. But then he took note of my presence and sent me to attend you, miss.”

“I’ve vexed him terribly this time, I’m certain. Though I cannot specify what remark I made that unnerved him so,” Cassidy muttered. A certain sickness of guilt rose in her stomach
,
and she wondered if she would be able to face him. Why was she so hateful toward him? He was as trapped as she was, after all. Some of the things he said to her in their arguing had simply spurred her on to battle. Now she felt only great remorse at saying such hateful things to him.
She had, in essence, sent him running back into the arms of Gabrielle Ashmore.

Standing before the looking glass, she barely contained the tears in her eyes that begged for release. Her hair was terribly untidy, being that she had been out in the breezes all day and slept beneath the willow. Her shoulders rather slumped
,
and her face was far from refreshed.

“How can I sit at the same table with her and expect to…” she mumbled.

“Now, don’t despair, miss,” Katie chirped. “A cool cloth for your face and a fresh, delicate dress will do the trick.”

Within a short time
,
Cassidy was looking at herself in the glass again. The dress of brilliant red accentuated perfectly the bright color of her cheeks and lips. Her eyes seemed to sparkle all the more as they reflected the color of the gown.
Cassidy’s shoulders were bare, the soft ivory of her skin pronounced further by the daring cut and color of the dress.

“He’ll not be able to take his eyes from you now, miss,” Katie whispered with a smile as she twisted one long lock of Cassidy’s hair around her finger, letting it fall delicately down Cassidy’s back.

“Mother does not approve of this red on me,” Cassidy commented.

“You
r
mother isn’t here. Even so, I’m sure that this once…she would.”

Irritatedly Cassidy rubbed at the small brown mole at the corner of her mouth. “I wish this would just fade away. It’s so unbecoming,” she complained.

“I disagree, miss. I always wanted my own mark of beauty just where yours is now.”

Cassidy turned and smiled. “You’re so encouraging, Katie. Thank you.” There was a knock on the chamber door
,
and Katie raised her eyebrows.

“That would be your own Prince Charming just now,” she giggled quietly.

“Charming, yes. But alas…would that the master were as charming as the princely dog that is always and forever bouncing at his heels,” Cassidy said, smiling.

Inhaling deeply in search of some sort of courage, Cassidy opened the door to find Mason standing before her, frowning and ominous as always. There sitting next to him, as ever, was his happy companion, Mathias.

“Are you ready to go down to dinner?” Mason asked. Cassidy felt the thrill of achievement as his eyes traveled the length of her quickly and thoroughly. His expression was not disapproving, nor that of shock
—r
ather that expression of physical approval that a man unintentionally reveals at seeing a woman in all the glory of her beauty.

“Yes” she answered, hesitantly taking the arm he offered. Cassidy felt almost more than acceptable as she was led down the staircase on the arm of the dashing Mason Carlisle. But as they approached the dining room and she heard the voices of guests raised in happy conversation, she began again to doubt herself. She slowed her step and felt less like holding her shoulders straight.

“Come now, Miss Shea. These people are no longer strangers. Surely they do not intimidate you still?” he mumbled somewhat daringly.

Cassidy glanced up at him and was momentarily struck dumb by the sheer magnificence of his perfect countenance. Certainly she should be used to seeing such a man as he in her proximity by now. Still, there were moments when his attractiveness, his dominating, powerful presence, startled her.

“They all find you quite intriguing, Miss Shea. Quite pleasing to look upon,” he encouraged in a rather awkward manner, as if trying to verbalize a
heartening compliment were
the most difficult thing in the world for him to do.

“I’m not so inane as to believe that remark, Mr. Carlisle,” she couldn’t help but mutter in a whisper.

“Really?” he asked sarcastically.

Releasing his arm then, she quickened her step and entered the dining room just before him. “Good evening, everyone,” she greeted, trying to keep her head held high and her smile bright.

“Good evening, Cassidy!” Devonna chimed. “You look splendid in that red!”

“Thank you, milady,” Cassidy uttered graciously.

“Indeed,” Lord Ashmore added. His appraising summation of Cassidy’s appearance unsettled her greatly. His eyes traveled very slowly and intimately the length of her, an entranced smile across his face.