Sexy Summers (Sexy Series) (25 page)

"Til, I..." he shakes his head and I throw the covers back and get out of bed. "Where are you going? Tilly? Are you sick again?"

"I'm just getting tissues. I'm coming back. I'm fine."

When I return to the bed, blowing my nose, I plonk myself down and sit cross legged.

"Get under the covers, Princess, it's freezing."

"No. I'm fine. I need to sit for a minute."

"Okay." He gets out of bed and walks over to the balcony to close it.

"You didn't have to do that, Luke."

"Yes, I did." He sits on the bed behind me and positions himself so that I'm sitting between his thighs, my back against his front. "Now rest back." He holds my hands and places them gently on my belly. I lean against him and turn my head so my face presses against the front of his shoulder. "We've got a baby in here. Wriggler, you say?"

I grin, "That's what I call her."

"Oh, her?"

"I don't know, it's too early for all that, but I say him or her, depending on my mood."

"Okay. And what about your throwing up in there, what was that about? Is everything okay? Could that harm the baby?"

"No. It's okay. I ate too much and I worked myself into a state, worrying about telling you."

"Oh, baby, that's bad. You shouldn't have felt like that. If you'd have just told me earlier, it wouldn't have got that way."

"I know."

"Does anyone else know?"

"Well, please don't go mad. I didn't tell anybody, because I thought you should be the first person to know, but Clare told me today that she knows. She guessed."

"And let me guess, she told Bea. And if she told Bea... then, fuck, Danny knows! Danny knew about my own fucking child before I did? And he didn't tell me?"

"No!" I shout, "Calm down! Bea does not know, and neither does Daniel. Clare knows it's not her place to tell anyone and she hasn't."

"And your sister?"

"No! I told you, I didn't tell anyone."

We sit in silence for a moment before Luke suggests I get into bed. He goes down for a glass of water and I sit waiting for him to come back. It seems like forever before he opens the door again, but as he enters, I see why. He has made us a tray of tea and biscuits. He walks to the bed and puts it down on his side table.

"I thought you could use some tea."

"I really could. Thank you. Are you still mad?"

"I'm not mad Til, I'm just completely overwhelmed, can you understand that or am I being unfair?"

"No, not at all Luke, I totally understand."

"I mean, I got a girlfriend yesterday. I realised I want to get married some day, today, and now I am going to be a dad... I mean, it's not your average Christmas Eve, you know?"

I smile. "I do."

"I just, I can't stop thinking that you've been doing this all on your own... you had no one to talk to about it, no one to go to appointments with. I can't bear that. You should have told me."

"Honestly, Luke, I didn't think you'd be into it and the thought of wanting you so much and then having you tell me you didn't want to play an active part in the baby's life would have killed me. I was so depressed back in England. I knew I had to tell you, but I wanted to do it face to face. And then... well you know how that panned out."

"I fucked you on the kitchen counter. Man, that was good."

I smile. "It was."

"So when you told me that you couldn't get pregnant... it's because you already are. You could have told me then. When we were joking about wanting each other's babies, you were holding this secret. Every time we've had sex, you've been trying to avoid me seeing you... god, this must have been hard for you."

"Oh don't, Luke, it's not about that. It about me being stupid and not telling you sooner."

He pauses and looks at me, holding my hand. "It's about you and me having a baby, Princess."

We continue to talk, I answer all of his questions about the pregnancy so far and all of the situations where I have avoided having to tell anyone about it. He is strangely excited that I am not actually afraid to ski. He is, however, very sad that I can't share a hot tub with him.

"Yes, but don't forget, Lukey, now that you know, we can shower together."

"Let's do it now!" he says, impatiently. "No, wait, that can't be good for the baby, no shower sex. No."

"What? Yes, shower sex, yes!"

"I'm not doing anything that might harm you or Wriggler."
Uh... just sharing that name for the baby makes my heart swell.

"How is that going to harm either of us?"

"We'll you know, funny positions, might not be good... and you might fall..."

"Luke, listen to me. Sex will not harm the baby. Whatever the position. And I am highly unlikely to fall with a giant man like you in there with me. I think you'd catch me if I slipped."

"Okay. Maybe."

"Okay, yes."

"And the ultrasound? Did everything look normal?"

"Yes. It all looks perfect."

"Does he move in there?"

I nod and he raises he eyebrows in delight, "Really? Could I feel it?"

"You couldn't, but I can. It's like little flutters."

We drink our tea and talk about everything he can think of, before we drop off into a wonderful, needed, deep sleep. He holds me tightly from behind, resting a hand on Wriggler, and kissing my neck every time he stirs. It was an extremely emotional experience, but I have to say, it was a lot better than I had expected. Just like Queenie said it would be. I thought he'd get a lot angrier. He seems, if anything, a little excited. I appreciate he's got an awful lot to get his head around, but I think it'll be okay. He still loves me, clearly, and I can only be one hundred percent grateful to him, for making this experience, one that I'll remember for good reasons. He isn't leaving. We can do this. We can be the happy family I so wanted him to help me create.

CHAPTER TWELVE

TUESDAY 25TH DECEMBER - CHRISTMAS DAY

When I wake, Luke isn't in the bed with me. I sit up and again, notice that the balcony door is open so I assume he's out there. I climb out of bed and go to the loo, planning on joining him afterwards. As I return from the bathroom, I find him sitting on the bed, waiting for me.

He smiles, sweetly. "Merry Christmas, Princess."
It's Christmas!

"Oh! I forgot it was Christmas Day! Merry Christmas, Lukey." I say as I climb back onto the bed and crawl over to give him a kiss.

"Merry Christmas, Wriggler," he says quietly, touching my belly.

"Merry Christmas, Daddy." I whisper, tentatively, assessing his response. He raises his eyebrows and inhales, sharply. Maybe that was too much, too soon.

"Wow. Daddy..."

I nod and hold his hand. "That is what this makes you... but we can take it slowly. Get you used to the idea, okay?"

He nods and smiles at me. "Sure. So, we need to get ready for breakfast, Til, but I wanted to give you a couple small gifts in private, first."
Ooh! Presents!
"Don't expect too much, these aren't big gifts," he says as he leans down the side of the bed and pulls out a small, gift wrapped box.

"Oh, how exciting! Thank you!" I say as he hands me the box.

"Now, this might not be very... appropriate... now, but I bought it back in California, and it's for you. So I'll give it to you anyway."

I peel off the ribbon and open the box, pushing tissue aside to find the gift. I pull out an incredibly sexy, black, corset style underwear set that I seem to recognise.

"I don't know if you remember, sweet-cheeks, but this is what you were teasing me with back in Nordstrom, that day we met. Just before our first kiss. I couldn't get it out of my head. I bought it after you left, in the hope that I'd be able to give it to you, one day."

I smile, remembering it well. "Yes, I remember it. I love it. And yes, it is appropriate, just because I'm prego, doesn't mean I can't be sexy."

"Well you're right there, you're sexier than ever right now."

"Thank you, I love it, and I
love
that you remembered it."

"Good. Here's another little thing..." he says, handing me another box.

"Oh, thank you..."

I begin to open this box, smiling, loving that we are sharing our first Christmas Day moment, alone. I pull out two plush bunnies, the cutest things I have ever seen, really fluffy with huge, floppy ears and a little red heart embroidered on each of their bellies. One is the palest pastel pink and white and the other is beige and white. "Oh, these are so cute!" I hold them to my chest and hug them both.

"Well, you know we're a couple of love-bunnies..."

I giggle, these cute, fluffy little things represent us and our crazy bedroom antics.

"This one is me..." he says, taking the beige one, "and this one is you. See?" he says, pressing their noses together so they kiss. I could cry all over again, this is just so cute! I giggle and wrap my hand around the back of his neck, kissing him.

"I love them, thank you. And I take it it's just a huge coincidence that they have little hearts on their tummies?"

He chuckles. "It is. I thought that when you're in England, and we're not together, you'd have something to cuddle. But as it turns out, you will take a little bit of me everywhere you go anyway."

"I will. Forever." He raises his eyebrows and blows, still finding the whole situation a little daunting.

"Anyway. I have something for you, too. I really don't want you to freak out. I'll be back in a sec."

"Freak out? Oh god. Okay."

I climb out of bed and throw on one of his t-shirts to head straight out to my room to collect the couple of things that I have, that I can only give him in private. Once retrieved, I join him back on his bed.

"Now, this one," I say, as I crawl over to him, "I bought yesterday and it's not intended to scare you or make you get all deep or anything; like your gift, it is for you to take home with you, to remind you."

"Okay..." he says, as he tears off the ribbons and wrapping paper, and holds the small black bear in his hands. He smiles and whispers, "Papa Bear," - the words on the bear's t-shirt.

I hold the tears back, I'm not sure why this is emotional, but it is. "Yes, well, you did say we might have woken the black bears out of hibernation the other day..." I giggle, "but it's just a little something to take with you. To remind you of... you know."

"I do. Thank you." He sits the bear on his table and smiles at it.

"And the next thing is from England," I say with a long exhale, steadying my nerves, as I hand him the box.

"Should I be worried?" he asks with a grin, but as soon as he takes the lid from the box, his face drops. He gazes at it, his mouth slightly ajar. "I... it's..."

I nod. "It's Wriggler's first photo."

He lifts the frame from the box and continues to stare. "I can see... I mean, I can work it out and everything... there's her head..." He continues to stare in astonishment at the perfect scan picture. "This is... this is in there..." he says, looking at my belly as I sit on the bed.

"Yep." I whisper, lifting the t-shirt, exposing the bump.

He shakes his head in disbelief. "I'm sorry, Til. It's still a lot to take in, you know?"

I crawl over to sit in front of him and I take the frame from his hands, before holding them in mine. "Luke, listen to me. I'm not expecting you to suddenly be acting like this is how it's always been. I know it needs to sink in and it'll take a while. It took me a long time to get used to the idea. It's okay to be freaked out."

He looks into my eyes and smiles slightly, before looking down at our hands. "It is a little... daunting. I mean, it's really cool and everything, but I am totally freaked out that someone is going to call me 'Daddy'. I'm worried about you, too. I mean, you're up to date with your appointments and all?"

"Yes, don't worry about me, I'm fine. I had morning sickness for a while, that's gone now, thank fuck."

"But, you had no one to take care of you then! Jesus, that really gets my goat. You should have had support. You should have had someone looking out for you."

"I'm alright, Luke. Stop stressing about me, and concentrate on trying to process the baby news."

"Well, you're a huge part of that, Til."

I nod and sit silently, not really knowing what else to say. Maybe if I'm quiet, he can start getting things right in his head. A few moments pass before he speaks. "I've got one more gift here."

I look up at his beautiful face and see his smile as he passes a box to me. "Thank you," I say, taking it. Inside, I find a small clipping of mistletoe and I grin widely as I pull it out.

"Mistletoe."

"Yeah, I wanted us to have our own mistletoe moment. Just the two... three, of us," he says awkwardly.

I lift it up above my head. "Come on then, bad-boy, kiss me crazy."

He smiles and holds my face in his hands, leaning close to kiss me. He's soft and gentle and slow. His tongue lightly licks at my lips before his hand moves to the back of my head and threads through my hair, as he moves faster. I can't get enough of him, I love him so much, I need everything he offers me. I fist my hands in his hair and sigh loudly, inching further towards him. He pushes me gently to the bed, until I am lying beneath him, loving every inch of his body on mine.

He breaks away to sit up on his knees and pulls his polo-shirt over his head, revealing his outrageously good torso. I still swoon like I've never seen it before. He pushes my t-shirt up my body with his strong hands, until it's bunched at my chest, taking a long, hungry look up and down my naked form. He firmly runs his hands down my sides and lowers back down again, resting on top of my body, returning his lips to mine.

I moan loudly as his tongue twists with mine, my legs bending either side of his body and wrapping around him. I slide my feet into the waistband of his track suit bottoms and push them down his thighs and he chuckles into my mouth. "Well done, I'm impressed," he says, deserting my mouth to lavish my face with tiny kisses.

"I need you..." I whisper, my eyes closed, my body tightly wrapped around his.

He kicks off his trousers and moves to kiss my neck. "I don't want to fuck you hard, Princess, not today," he mumbles against my skin.

"What do you want? I need you, Luke, please?"

He continues to kiss at my neck as he holds one of my boobs in his hand and caresses, divinely. I moan and writhe beneath him. "This is why they're bigger? Because of the baby?"

"Uh huh," I moan, praying he doesn't stop, "yes, but it's so good, don't stop, please don't stop."

He squeezes a little harder, making me cry out in pleasure, all while still kissing and nibbling at my neck. "We can make love, baby, but not hard. Okay?"

I'm assuming this is because of the baby, but I'm not going to question anymore. "Okay, please..."

He kisses my collar bone, slowly moving up my neck to my face before devouring my mouth as he positions himself between my legs. "Is it okay lying on you like this? I'm not squashing him am I?"

"No, no... just don't stop... it's fine..." I respond, holding his head in my hands.

He rubs my nipple between my fingers and I cry out, "Suck it... suck it..." he moves down and takes it in his mouth, licking and sucking indulgently before moving to the other. I moan and throw my head back deeper into the pillow, my mouth open, my eyes clenched shut.

"This is good, baby?" he mumbles against me.

"Oh god, yes!" I cry, and he continues to flick with his tongue and caress with his hands as I reach down between us and take him in my hand, pressing him against me to find his way in. He groans loudly and abandons my nipples to kiss my mouth as he thrusts slowly, sinking deep inside me.

I wrap my legs tightly around his waist, his kiss muffling my cries, his rough moans turning me on immensely. He kisses my jaw as he rotates his hips, pushing into me again and I tilt my pelvis upwards to better accommodate him, to feel every inch as deep as it can go. And it's so deep, almost painfully deep - but so, so good.

He continues to kiss me all over as he makes love to me, his gentleness so unlike him. He's loving me, taking care of me, protecting me... and our baby. I whimper as he glides slowly in and out of my body and I wrap my arms around him, holding him tightly. "I love you," I whisper as a tear falls from the corner of my clenched eyes, down the side of my face. It's approaching and I know I'm going to explode any moment, my skin prickles and heat rushes to all parts of my body in contact with his.

"Oh god..." he says, pained, "fuck, Tilly." He thrusts a little faster and I immediately burst, digging my nails into his back as I come long and hard.

"Yeah!" I cry, moaning and writhing as he thrusts one last time before collapsing against me, his head tucked into my neck. He pants against me and kisses my neck. "I love you, Merry Christmas."

I giggle, "Merry Christmas to you, too. Was that a Christmas shag?"

He laughs with me, "Yup."

"The first of many today, I hope."  

"We'll see, it'll be a busy day with people here."

What the fuck?
I move my head to the side to force him to move his and look at me. "Since when does that bother you? We fucked in Daniel's
library
yesterday, with a houseful of people..."

"I know, and we probably will, it's just going to be a busy day, is all."

What is that all about?
Didn't he enjoy it? Why is he being so vague? "Is everything okay?"

He grins and rolls over, taking me with him so he's hugging me to his chest, on top of him. "Yes, of course everything is okay. I love that we're spending our first Christmas together in one of my favourite places."

"I love it here, too."

"Let's get ready, we're supposed to be downstairs for breakfast soon."

"Okay."

"Just one thing, Tilly..."

"Uh huh?"

"How did I not know? I mean, you've hidden your front from me, your boobs are bigger, you're not skiing, you're not drinking... I mean am I damned stupid or what?"

"Oh god, darling, no. Of course you're not. No one else noticed either... apart from Clare and she only just realised."

"But I've been sleeping with you!"

"I've been devious, okay? I made excuses, I lied, I hid. I'm clearly better at it than I thought. It's not you being stupid, Luke. Please don't think like that, it was all me being cowardly and selfish and I'm so sorry about all of it."

"Okay. Let's not talk about it now. Let's go enjoy Christmas." He grabs my arm as I lift away from him. "But Til, can we just keep it to ourselves for now, until I get used to the idea."

"Absolutely. Whenever you're ready. Clare won't say anything, either."

I have a shower in my room... totally uninterrupted which surprises me, I was expecting Luke to sneak in and ravish me, now that he knows he can. I even left the door open, but he didn't come. I suppose he's still in a bit of a daze, he needs time to get used to it, to let it sink in.