Sexy Berkeley (1) (28 page)

"I know," I respond, caressing his stubble with my fingertips. I move my fingers slowly around the back of his neck, pulling his face down to meet mine. Instead of kissing my mouth, he gently presses his lips against my wet cheek, slowly caressing away my tears with his beautiful mouth. It's so intimate, so close, so loving.

He moves slowly, gradually moving down to my throat - soft, gentle open-mouth kisses. I moan quietly, running my fingers through his hair, his touch so soothing, kissing away my sadness, making me want him, love him even more.

"Daniel," I whisper, "I..."
Tell him... tell him!

"Mmm, baby?"

"I will miss you so much."
I can't.

"Me too
," his voice warm and calming, "you mean so much to me."

"I'll never forget you."

"I won't let you. I told you, I'm going to find a way."

I close my eyes and smile, letting myself believe, for a moment, that he will come up with a plan. "Yes. We'll be together, like this. We'll kiss every day, I'll see your smile every day, you can make love to me..."

"Every day, baby." He moves one of his hands slowly down my body, over my breast, making me gasp, and down over my hip to my thigh. He skims over to my inner thigh before slowly gliding his fingers back up to hover over me, I can feel the heat from his hand before his fingers gently stroke me, there. I arch my back and groan.

"Mmm, Daniel..." I murmur as I hold his face with my hands.

He lowers to lay a soft kiss on my lips, still lightly circling my clitoris. He kisses me so gently, so slowly, matching the movement of his fingers. I raise my knees either side of his body and wrap my legs around him, inviting him, I want him. "Bea, baby," he murmurs as he pushes his fingers inside me.

"Oh god!" I cry, throwing my head back into the pillow, "Please, make love to me."

He moves his fingers away and I feel the tip of his erection. I grab his neck and press my mouth against his, forcefully, my tongue fervently searching his. He groans loudly and slowly eases himself into me, deeper and deeper.

He moves gently, kissing me intensely, passionately. I close my eyes, savouring the feel of him deep inside me, the feel of his tongue on mine, his body moving against my skin. My hands explore his sculptured back, my fingertips rippling over his taut muscles.

"All I want to do is make love to you," he says, his voice strained, full of emotion.

"We are, we're making love, Daniel." My eyes search for his. "Look at me," I whisper, and his stunning turquoise eyes gaze into mine, I can see the longing, he needs me too.

I hold his darling face. "Daniel, we're making love. I am making love... with you." I'm telling him. Maybe not outright '
I love you',
but I'm telling him in my own way. Yet another tear escapes over my lashes, telling him I love him, in not so many words. I can't help the tidal wave of emotion crashing through me.

He gazes at me and smiles a beautiful, sad, Daniel smile. "Me too, baby. With you."

Daniel makes slow, meaningful, incredible love to me and it's beautiful. I've never experienced feelings like this before, I think this is my first time, truly making love. And quite possibly, my last. We lay in each other's arms, gazing at each other, I don't want to let go of him, I don't want to stop touching. I make the decision to try not to cry anymore, I'll do enough of that when I'm gone.

I stroke my fingers up and down his impressive bicep as he lays on his side, facing me, his hand over my waist, gently circling my lower vertebrae.
"Are you cold, baby? Shall I get the comforter from the sofa?" He asks.

"I'm fine, thank you, sexy. You can cuddle me if I get cold."

"We should grab some dinner soon, if you're hungry, it's almost eight thirty."

"I'm not hungry, lunch filled me up. I could forego dinner."

"Ok, we can always get a snack later. What would you like to do?"

"Lay here. Cuddle you. Make the most of you."

Daniel smiles at me and pulls me against his body, and I wrap my leg over his. "That's fine by me."

I wrap my arm around his torso tightly and squeeze him. "Mmm, Daniel, Daniel, Daniel." I breath against his chest. He smells wonderful. "Daniel...?" I look up to his face.

"Yes, baby?"

"Can you spray some of your aftershave on something of mine so that I can smell it when I miss you?"

He grins and kisses my nose. "Of course, sweetheart. But what am I going to smell when I miss you?"

"You'll have to hop on a plane and come and smell me."

"Is that allowed?"

"Hmm, I suppose not. But if you happen to be in the UK on business, I think it'd be ok for you to come and smell me."

"And if you've moved on by then?"

"I can't see that happening for quite some time, darling, but I think I'd still want you to come and see me. I'd have to be unfaithful to whoever the new bloke is."

"You couldn't resist me, huh?"

"Definitely not," I say as I run my fingers up and down his gorgeous back, "you're always going to be the one that I compare new men to. If I date someone and you turn up... poor them."

He grins. "Just don't date anyone. Then I'll be happy."

"I didn't date you and look what happened."

"Hmm. Ok, just don't flirt with, hold hands with, press up against, kiss,
pash
, fuck, make love to... anyone other than me."

I giggle. "Ok, if the same goes for you and any other girls, then we have a deal."

"Done."

We both laugh and he kisses me, softly.
"If I could really make you agree to that, I'd be happier."

We continue to hold each other and talk 'what ifs' for much of the night. Daniel fetches the duvet from the lounge and we fall asleep underneath it, wrapped in each other.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

SUNDAY 23RD SEPTEMBER

Daniel kisses my face as I stir. I'm sad, my chest convulses with a small sob. "It's ok, baby. Shh."

I open my eyes and look straight at his concerned face.

"Are you ok, sweetheart? What were you dreaming about?"

I pause for a moment, frowning. I'm not sure. "I don't know... but I can probably guess." I take a deep breath in and exhale slowly. "Good morning," I smile and squeeze him, pulling closer.

"Good morning, baby," he smiles, "you were really whimpering, it took a while to wake you."

"I'm ok." I reach my hand to his face and stroke his cheek. "I love waking up next to you."

"Me too," he says, kissing my nose.

"I'm so glad my flight isn't until tonight. I'll need to go back to pack at some point."

"Ok, should we do that first? Then we can have the day together, knowing it's done."

"Good idea but I don't want to get out of bed just yet, I want to make the most of it."

"Ok, baby," he says softly, holding me close, "let's lie here for a while, then have a bath and get ready." He looks over to the alarm clock on the bedside table. "It's early, only seven thirty. We have plenty of time."

"Mmm, good. Let's do that, and then you can take me out for brunch."

"Sounds good, I know just the place."

I nuzzle into his chest, remembering that I, sort of, told him last night, and if I recall correctly, he said the same back. I wonder if he was talking in code too, he probably didn't even realise what I meant.

"Baby..." Daniel murmurs in his terribly sexy, deep morning voice.

"Sexy?"

"I miss you already."

I look up into his face and smile. "I'm still here, darling. Enjoy it, I am."

"I'm trying, baby," he says as he runs his fingers down my cheek and kisses my forehead, "you're so special to me."

"So are you, to me, Daniel."

I realise that this is the calm before the storm, I'm in heaven now, wrapped in his arms, listening to his lovely voice, but tonight, I will be in hell, desperately needing him but knowing I can't have him.
God, I really love him so much.
How is this even possible? It's fucking sods law. I meet the man of my dreams, who happens to think I'm amazing, I manage to fall in love with him in a week and now I have to leave him, forever.

"I'm going to clean my teeth so we can have a little pash fest. Sound good?"

Daniel chuckles and squeezes me tightly. "Sounds perfect. Would you like tea?"

"I'd love tea, thank you."
We tear ourselves away from each other and Daniel strolls out of the bedroom, totally naked, to put the kettle on. I admire the view of his gorgeous behind before I head to the bathroom.

He joins me in there shortly after, wrapping an arm around my waist to pull me against his chest. I look in the mirror at our naked bodies touching, Daniel's hand holding onto me, my spare hand wrapped around his bicep near my face, and think just how well we mesh together. We're really made for each other.

I wonder what he's thinking as he gazes at me in the mirror, his eyes warm and affectionate, full of... lust? Longing? Love? I don't know, but whatever it is, he could look at me like that for the rest of my life and I'd be the happiest woman in the world. He makes me so happy, but at the same time, so very sad, because I love him so much. I love him and I can't have him. Who'd have thought that falling in love could be such a sad thing.

When we finish staring at each other, Daniel heads to the kitchen to make the tea and I crawl back under the duvet and wait for my man to come back and join me. I pick up the remote for Daniel's iPod and press play; a bit of music to preoccupy my thoughts.

A beautiful song plays softly in the room, one of my favourites, 'Last Request' by Paulo Nutini. As it plays, the lyrics - which I have always known but never really thought about - now mean something new, something heart wrenching. Although I'm pretty sure the song is about another situation entirely, many of the words relate to the situation Daniel and I are in, right now.

My heart aches listening to the sad, sad words, and the tears stream from my eyes instantly. I raise my fingertips to my mouth and try my hardest to keep the sobs from erupting. At that moment, Daniel walks in with my tea, completely naked with a gorgeous smile on his face. He takes one look at me and his expression falls, concern etched on his face. He puts the tea on the bedside table before sitting next to me and pulling me into his body. The song continues and I pull back to look at him, the lyrics poignant. I sob and he knows exactly why.

"We're going somewhere, baby, just hang in there, I'll work it out," he says, softly as he holds my face and gazes sadly into my eyes, "please don't cry." He crawls into bed next to me and holds me, gently rocking while I sob, uncontrollably into his chest.
So much for no more fucking crying.
"This isn't a last request, baby. We'll do this again, we'll be together, maybe not tomorrow or next week, but one day, soon. I promise."

"Daniel," I manage between sobs, "don't make promises you can't keep, we both know we're not going anywhere. We've only known each other for nine days, we can't move heaven and earth to make something happen that might not even last more than a couple of months."

"I don't care how long I've known you, I know how I feel and I know that we've got something worth fighting for. I..." he drops his head to the top of mine and shakes it, kissing my hair, "...I just need you so much."

We sit, gently swaying, listening and holding each other until the song comes to an end.  Another Paulo Nutini song follows; 'Loving You', which is equally as beautiful.
He repositions himself, facing me, and holds my face in his hands, kissing me tenderly. We kiss slowly, listening to Nutini sing about making love, being in love, before Daniel pulls away. He tilts his head to one side and looks down before locking his beautiful eyes with mine.

"What these words mean, is what I feel, for you," he whispers.

I stare at him, trying to decipher exactly what he's telling me. A tear spills over my lashes as I gaze into the beautiful turquoise. Searching. He simply nods with a terribly sad, but gorgeous smile, and instantly, I know.

He wipes the tears from my face with his thumbs and I just stare at him, fresh streams sliding over my cheek bones.
"I love you, baby," he whispers, and I whimper as I wrap my arms around his neck and squeeze him.

"I love you, too. I love you so much," I cry, "I thought I'd never get to tell you."
His arms wrap around my body and we hold each other, tightly. We love each other. He loves me.
He loves me!

Looking into his eyes, I lean forward to rest my lips against his. He opens his mouth slightly, inviting me to deepen the kiss, and I readily accept. I close my eyes and lose myself in this incredible moment of togetherness. I'm with the man I love, who loves me back. I may not be with him again, but I'm here now.

I open my eyes, still immersed in a perfect kiss, to look at his face. His eyes are firmly closed and he's frowning, as if in pain. "Daniel..." I whisper against his lips, pulling away, "Daniel, are you ok?"

He keeps his eyes closed for a moment and drops his head. When he lifts it, he looks straight at me, his eyes glisten with moisture. "Baby, I'm fine. I've wanted to tell you so many times. Now I have and you feel the same, but you're leaving. I love you, you can't leave."
Oh dear god, if I wanted to stop crying, I did NOT need to hear that.

"Oh god, please don't say that. I don't want to leave... I have to. I want to stay and love you," I say as my voice wobbles and trails into a whisper.

"Make love to me," he asks, "real love."

"Oh, Daniel."

"Bea..." he whispers as he grabs my face and kisses me, urgently. He manoeuvres, pulling me down the bed slightly so that my head rests on his pillow. He lies on top of me, kissing me fervently as I thread my fingers through his hair, pulling him closer. His hands running all over my body, feeling every inch of me, trailing love all over my body.

"I love you, baby," he says, as I feel him hovering between my legs, "say it... please?"

"I love you, so much. Make love to me, Daniel." He moves in between my legs, parting my folds with his tip. He runs it gently up and down, over my clitoris and back down to my entrance where he gently eases into me, agonisingly slowly but incredibly deliciously. He stretches me as he gradually pushes deeper and deeper. I let out a long, loud groan and rock my head back into the pillow. I'm still sore from yesterday, but feeling him inside me almost soothes it away, he's my medicine, my cure.

"Oh yes, Daniel, you're amazing, I love you." 

"I love you, baby, I love you so much," he says as he presses his lips against mine and kisses me, passionately, amazingly. He slowly eases nearly all the way out of me and back in again, pushing hard as he sinks deeper. My moans are so loud, I can't help it, I'm making incredible, sweet love with my Daniel and nothing in the world is better than this. And I can tell him I love him!

As I run my hands over his impeccable torso, I feel like the luckiest girl in the world, this body is mine, because the man who it belongs to, loves
me
. Not one of the super-amazing Hollywood girls, not Heidi the hot assistant, not Holly the ex... me. Beatrice Hart from Rickmansworth.

I wrap my legs around him and he slowly grinds into me, over and over.

"Oh yes, baby. My beautiful girl, you're all mine," he whispers, between kisses.

"Uh huh, oh yes, Daniel, yes. I'm yours, only yours. Oh, oh!" I cry, everything building up, slowly; the intense waves, the tingles, the toe curling, the imminent explosion brewing deep inside. My muscles tense in anticipation.

"Fuck, you're unbelievable. I've never known anyone like you." The volume of his voice increasing with each word, "Oh, baby... I'm... I'm... I..."

And as my orgasm bursts and crashes around him, I scream out loud. "Fuck! I love you, I love you, Daniel, oh fuck!" And he immediately comes inside me, calling out my name.

Daniel rests on my chest, panting. "Me too, baby. I love you, so much."

I stroke his hair and smile. "How will I live without you telling me that every day?"

"I will tell you every day. I promise." I decide not to disagree with him. I can't see how he will ever be able to find a solution to our problem, but I'll let him believe, or try to make me feel better, if that's what he's doing.

"Shall we have a bath now?" I ask.

"Sure, baby, I'll go fill it," he says as he kisses my lips and slowly rolls off me to sit at the side of the bed. He pauses for a moment and turns back to look at me, smiling. "I wanted to tell you so much, baby, but I didn't want to make things worse for you leaving. I'm glad you know, though, because now I do too, and I feel so lucky to have someone as incredible as you, love me."

I reach up to run my fingers down his stubble and smile at him. His handsome face looking at me, lovingly.

"
I'm
lucky, Daniel. I never knew a man as perfect as you could exist, and not only have I found him, but he feels this way about me... after only ten days."

"I felt it before ten days, I can assure you. I've never felt this way before."

"Me neither. What I felt with my ex was nothing, in comparison."

He leans down and kisses me gently. "Good. Don't get back with him."

"Of course I won't! I don't feel anything for him, Daniel, it's only you. Now go and run the bath, I need to pack and then we can spend the day telling each other that we love each other. Make the most of being able to say it, face to face."

"Sounds like a plan," he says as he stands to walk to the bathroom. I close my eyes and take a deep breath in, and exhale slowly.
I will not cry.
I don't want to ruin the day. Be strong, Beatrice, be strong.

After our wonderful, relaxing, hot bubble-bath together, we dress and I disappear off to the bathroom to wash my face and reapply my make-up.
As I emerge, Daniel is sitting on the end of the bed, looking gorgeous in his Ralph Lauren casual attire, holding an envelope and a small box, wrapped with a ribbon. I stroll over to him to kiss him on the lips. "Hello."

"Hey, baby," he replies, "this is for you." He hands me the envelope and box and I look at him, questioningly.

"Don't open it now, save it until you're gone."

"Oh," I pout, "what is it?"

"Just a little gift, not much. I can't let you go without giving you a little something. But I did arrange this all by myself, Heidi didn't help with this. Just so you know."

"You've given me so much, Daniel, thank you. I'm very intrigued and I'd like to open it now!"

"Patience is a virtue... apparently," he says with a grin.

"Thank you, darling," I whisper as I bend to kiss him again before placing the card and box in my handbag, smiling, wondering what it is.

"Why won't you ever wash your make-up off in front of me, sweetheart?" Daniel asks as I start to make the bed.