Sexual Persuasion (27 page)

“What happened?”

“I was firm and told him to leave. My study partner asked about him, and I sloughed Gianni off by saying that he was stalking me after seeing me in a bar. With those words, I knew I had betrayed him. No matter what he’d done, he’d done it out of love and desperation, not meanness. I explained him away as if he were some sicko.” He looked at Charlotte. Her dark blue eyes were wide now, heavy with worry. “I didn’t want word to get around that I was gay. I didn’t want to face it myself. I stayed at my friend’s apartment that night because I knew he’d call. Maybe I wanted to prove to myself that I was straight, because I slept with her. I had no hesitation, no sex problems.” He plunked down in Lenore’s chair. “Jesus, this is harder than I thought.”

“You’ve gone this far.”

“At least you haven’t thrown me out yet.”

“Go on.”

“Gianni promised he wouldn’t do anything like that again. He said he didn’t want to live without me. That’s when I realized I was in way over my head. I agreed to try again, but it didn’t get any better.

When I got to Gianni’s the next night, I knew immediately something was wrong. H
is eyes were swollen, and he pouted and frowned. Then he told me he had followed me when I left the library and went to Callie’s apartment. Saw that we looked like more than friends. He watched her place all night, saw me leave in the morning. He accused me of fucking her. I was furious, but worse, I felt like I was drowning. I told him we had fucked, and I enjoyed it. It was the ugliest, meanest thing I’d ever said to anyone, and the one thing that’s haunted me all these years.”

Charlotte
started to say something, but she stopped to let him continue.

“He said I’d better go. One part of me felt relief, the other sadness that the relationship was ending so badly. I never intended for that to happen. I left, but about
ten minutes later, I realized I’d forgotten my law book, and I needed it. When I got back to Gianni’s, the door was unlocked. I thought I could grab the book and slip out without facing him again. I didn’t see him.

“The dishes still cluttered the table. As I went to pick up the book, I saw the open bathroom door. Something out of the ordinary caught my eye.” Alex drained his soda, crumpled the can in his hand. He drew a deep breath and let it out, picturing the scene as if it were happening then.
“Blood. I ran in. Gianni sat on the rim of the bathtub, a razor blade in his hand, staring at the blood spurting from his wrist. He screamed at me to get out, then came at me with the blade and slashed my arm.”

Charlotte
gasped. Her hand covered her mouth. “My God. What did you do?”

“I tried to take the blade away, but he kept saying he didn’t want to live without me. He’d implied that before, but I wasn’t listening. I should
have.”

The room had turned unbearably hot. Sweat dripped down Alex’s back. His tongue felt like sandpaper. “Then he held the blade over the other wrist and told me if I went for the phone, he’d slice through that vein too. Blood spurted everywhere, all over him, on the floor.
On me. The bathroom reminded me of the abattoir when I was a kid. Gianni was weakening. I didn’t understand why he hadn’t collapsed.”

Charlotte
shivered. “And you were cut too.”

“I didn’t even feel it
even though blood covered my shirt. All I could think of was getting to the phone and calling 911. He needed a doctor. When I picked up the phone, he cut his other wrist.”

“Oh, no.”
Dread twisted her face as if she were seeing the scene.

“Then he collapsed.” Alex bit his bottom lip so hard, he tasted blood. He kept his gaze on her shocked face. His heart pounded. He breathed a few short breaths. “I thought he was trying to manipulate me, but he wasn’t. I never knew how unstable he
was. I should have, but I didn’t.”

“What happened after?”

“I called 911. An ambulance came and took both of us to the hospital. Gianni was in bad shape. He’d lost a lot of blood. The doctor said that most attempted suicides cut their wrists the wrong way, horizontally. The deadly cuts are vertical, up the vein. Still, he almost died and would have if I hadn’t gone back for my book.”

Now he looked at her straight on. “I felt responsible,
Charlotte. Hell, I
was
responsible. For me, Gianni was an experiment, something I wanted to try, like an exotic delicacy or an adventure I could say I experienced. Yes, I fell for him, but I realized he wasn’t what I wanted. But for Gianni, I was his life. Literally. I’d been selfish and reckless. It never once entered my mind that I was playing with someone’s emotions until it was too late.”

Charlotte
reached out and touched Alex’s shoulder. “You couldn’t have known.”

“I should have. Once Gianni became unnaturally possessive, I should have known.”

“What did you do?”

“The only thing I could. I stayed with him until he regained his physical strength. Not as lovers but as friends. I did care about what happened to him. I didn’t want to leave so he could end his life the next time he tried. He saw a shrink. I went with him a few times so the doctor would know what he was dealing with on the other side of the equation. Gianni told me he’s had other lovers over the years, but no relationship lasted.
Until now, with this Schiff man.”

“Does Max know?”

“Yes, but not because I told him. At the time our lives didn’t intersect, but he found out because of an article in the newspaper. I didn’t know that until the other day. I think he’s figured out that you’re important to me, but he’s not really sure whether I’m straight or bi. That’s okay. He’s my friend, and he’d be there for me if I needed him.” He settled his hand on her shoulder. “My life has never been anyone’s business. Max knew most of it. Now you know it all. But I didn’t want you to until you knew me first. Trusted me first.” He held her chin. “Tell me that didn’t end today.”

“You should have trusted me.”

“I know, but I figured I’d lose you. That you’d turn away.”

“I did, though,
didn’t I?”

“How could you not, after what you saw? Jack was hell-bent on finding out so he could out me to you. If he set someone on the trail, he’d eventually discover my life with Gianni. There were police reports, the
newspaper.”

“Ha
s Gianni tried to see you all these years?”

“No, not after he went through therapy and
we came to an agreement. He realized he couldn’t keep me the way he had tried. But we’ve watched each other’s careers. He was disappointed in mine. I never told him about my relationship with the Carpathians when we were together.”

“Secretive even then.”

“Yes. He called today to tell me he’d found someone and wanted to see me one last time to make sure he was over me. He was. I knew a long time ago. He thanked me for standing by him when he needed someone. That’s when I told him about you, and he mentioned he knew you. Today, when you saw me with him, I knew what you thought. That’s why I’m here, so you’d know I never lied.”

“I wish you’d been honest from the beginning.”

“Would you have continued seeing me? I don’t think so.”

Charlotte
looked pensive. “Honestly? Probably not. Being Max Carpathian’s attorney didn’t help matters either.”

“After my experience with Gianni, I didn’t want to fall in love again. But you can’t control feelings like that, because I love you and want to be part of your life.
A sharing part. I’d be devastated if you turned me away, but I wouldn’t kill myself, and I’d hate to think you’d do anything foolish over me. Love shouldn’t be desperate or suffocating.”

She moved next to him so that their bodies touched. Her warmth penetrate
d his wet clothes. “I’m sorry it played out the way it did, but I’m glad it happened. Everything’s out in the open.” She placed both hands on the sides of his face and planted a kiss hard on his lips. “I love you. I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t. We have too many good things to build on. But I should tell you I’m out of a job.”

“Max fired you?”

“No, I quit. The business with Jack made me realize that I didn’t want to deal with people like him anymore. He was my last assignment.”

Charlotte’s delight flashed in her eyes. “Really? What did Max say about that?”

“He was sorry.” Alex laughed. “He said he still didn’t know me, but we’ve shared too many years together to let the change in our business relationship affect our friendship. I’ve paid back his father, but I’ll still be there if he needs me. He would be for me.”

She nodded. “What do you plan to do?”

“I don’t know. I love the law, and there are plenty of people who need a good lawyer, and I’m a good lawyer. Max joked about legal aid, but I might make a good public defender. It’s something to think about.”

“My lover, lawyer to the needy.”

“Has a nice ring to it.”

She kissed him again.

“Seeing Gianni today was a release of sorts. My reckless behavior all those years ago almost cost a man his life. It’s weighed on me ever since. Now I can close that chapter and move on.
With you. If you’ll have an unemployed attorney.”

She grabbed him around his waist. “I’ll have you.
With whipped cream.”

“That’s dessert. What will be the main course, Ms. Stone?
Dinner or me?”

“Oh, Mr. Andros.
You. Definitely you.” She grabbed his hand. “This has been an eventful day, for both of us. An emotional day. We need to get to know each other all over again. Without secrets, without the ugliness that brought us together. I want to know
you
, Alex Andros. And I want you to know me. Come with me.” She took his hand, and they walked out of the office.

Lenore sat on one of the sofas, cradling her anxious face in her hands. She looked up.

“Lenore, Mr. Andros and I are going upstairs. We have a lot to talk about. I may be late tomorrow morning.”

Lenore smiled like the Cheshire Cat. “Take tomorrow off, boss. Take Friday and Saturday too. You haven’t taken a vacation in forever.”

Alex looked into Charlotte’s eyes. He felt a surge of love, a freedom he’d never experienced. “And she may be late Monday, Lenore. Hold the fort, will you?”

“Yes, sir.
My pleasure.”

About the Author

Maryn
Sinclair, a Massachusetts native living in the South, loves creating characters who murder, love, hate, and connive, but mostly love. She speaks dialogue in her car while driving, makes notes in the middle of half-heartedly doing something else, and conjures up scenarios where her characters make life complicated for themselves. Better them than her.

Learn more about
Maryn and her books at:
http://MarynSinclair.com

Acknowledgments

Thanks to the wonderful editors at Loose Id for their excellent edits. I learned so much from them. Thanks also to Ellis Vidler―writer, friend, and editor―for her invaluable contribution to this book.