Sex Practice (8 page)

"She wants me
to have a sexual relationship with her, but I don't feel that I'm
ready. I'm still torn between male and female."

"Between your
anal and vaginal orifices?"

"No, I don't
think so."

"Yes, you're
torn between your two sexual orifices. You see, on the one hand
you're yearning for a penis to penetrate your vagina, and on the
other hand, your father's homosexuality has caused you to question
your bottom-hole - it's sexual function."

"I don't
understand. My partner wants me to pleasure her vagina, so why
would I be torn between..."

"To you, her
vagina represents your father."

"Why?"

"Ask Sigmund
Freud. Oh, you can't, he's dead. It's a psychological response,
Jane. I'm sorry to have to use this dreadful word but, you feel
your father is a cunt."

"Oh! Yes, I
do!"

"I'd call my
father a cunt if he ran off with another man, it stands to reason.
So, we have three components to deal with - the vagina, the
bottom-hole, and the penis. You're terribly mixed up as to which
two go together, as to which two should be joined in sexual
ecstasy. It must be most distressing for you."

"It is,
doctor! I have nightmares, horrible nightmares about bottom-holes,
penises and vaginas. They drift around me in circles, beckoning
me!"

"I'm going to
suggest something, Jane. This might seem somewhat unorthodox, but
it will knock you off the fence of indecision. You'll land one side
or the other, with your problem solved."

"Really? Oh,
if only!"

Rising to his
feet, Larry crept across the room to the door. Slowly turning the
knob, he yanked the door open. "Ah, Monica!" he boomed. "What are
you doing kneeling on the floor, looking for something? Your
clitoris hasn't dropped off, has it? Or were you calling on
Satan?"

"Doctor
Lickman! I was... I tripped and fell!" the flustered woman
stammered as she climbed to her feet.

"You're not
drunk again, are you?"

"Certainly
not!"

"You really
must lay off the meths! Haven't broken anything, have you? Your
neck, for example!"

"No, no...
I..."

"What a shame!
When you've found your clitoris, would you send Brigit in,
please?"

Closing the
door, Larry returned to his client and smiled. "Sorry about that.
She has a tendency to spy on people. Her strange obsession with
gazing through keyholes comes from a terrible childhood experience.
She happened to look through a keyhole and saw her mother
masturbating with a cucumber. It's had a deep-seated and long
lasting psychological effect - it completely unhinged her
mind."

"Oh dear, the
poor woman! I blame the parents!"

"Yes, you
would - your father in particular, cunt that he is!"

"What about
knocking me off the fence?" the woman asked eagerly.

"Yes, Brigit
will be here in a minute and... ah, Brigit! Come in and lock the
door. This is Jane - she has a problem which I think we can help
her with."

"Hi, Jane!"
Brigit trilled, shaking the woman's hand. "What's the problem?"

"I can't
decide between male and female," she confessed softly.

"We're going
to knock her off the fence of indecision!" Larry beamed. "Brigit,
would you lie on your back across the desk with your skirt up over
your stomach and your legs wide open, please?"

"Yes, of
course, doctor," the girl smiled.

Sitting on the
desk, Brigit yanked her skirt up and reclined, her shaved pussy
crack blatantly displayed to the client's wide eyes as she opened
her legs wide. Tugging his trousers down, Larry lay beside his
assistant, his erect penis pointing to the ceiling. Stunned by the
pair's strange behaviour, Jane leapt to her feet, holding her hand
to her open mouth in horror.

"Doctor
Lickman!" she cried, gazing at his rolling balls, his purple glans,
as he pulled his foreskin back. "What are you doing?"

"I want you to
place your chair between Brigit's legs and lick her vaginal crack,
Jane. When you've had enough of that, move between my legs and suck
my glans."

"But, doctor!
What sort of conduct is this? I have never seen such..."

"This is a
well tried and tested method of determining the sexual leanings of
women. This will knock you off the fence, Jane. It's the only way
you'll discover what you want, which sex you prefer."

"Well, I
really don't know whether I should..."

"You see,
you're of an indecisive nature. You're sexually confused by your
father's homosexuality. This will cure you, Jane - send you
tumbling off the fence!"

"But..."

"Come on!"
Brigit giggled, pulling her cunny lips wide apart, forcing her
erect clitoris to pop out from beneath its pinken hood. "Give me a
good licking out, and then suck the doctor's penis! Keep moving
between us, licking me and sucking him, until you've decided which
it is you want - a man or a woman."

"Until you've
fallen off the fence!" Larry chuckled, pulling his foreskin back
further.

"My God!"
Monica cried, her nose pressed to the window. "Doctor Lickman!
Brigit! What do you think you're doing?"

"Jesus fucking
Christ!" Larry gasped, leaping off the desk, his penis wavering
before Monica's astonished eyes. "Is there no peace for the fucking
wicked?"

"Shit!" Brigit
gasped, slipping off the desk and tugging her skirt down.

"I've seen
everything now!" Monica screamed hysterically. "I'm going to call
the police!"

"Sorry about
this, Jane," Larry grinned as the girl moved nervously towards the
door. "Please, don't go!"

"I... I must!"
she stammered, her face flushed, her hands trembling. "I have... I
have never..."

"Please, don't
go!" Brigit called as the horrified woman opened the door and fled
down the hall. "You haven't tasted my cunny juice yet!"

"Fuck it! I'd
better go and stop the old hag from calling the law!" Larry
breathed, zipping his trousers. "The last thing I need is the cops
sniffing around. Wait in the bondage room, I'm going to lure the
old bat there and thrash her! When she enters the room, lock her
in."

"OK,
Larry."

Running down the hall to reception, Larry could see that he
was too late. Replacing the telephone receiver, Monica grinned at
him triumphantly. "They're on their way!" she growled. "You'll have
some explaining to do,
Doctor
Lickman!"

"Monica,
Brigit wants a hand in the examination room," he smiled
nonchalantly.

"Oh, no!
You're not going to lure me into that torture chamber of
yours!"

"Brigit wants
you to give her a hand to clear up, that's all. We can't have the
police seeing the mess in there, can we? They'd think you an
inadequate, disorderly and incompetent member of staff. Is that
what you want the constabulary to think? It might even get a
mention in the local paper. What would your neighbours say?"

"Well, I... I
suppose they'll be a while yet," Monica relented, heading off
towards the bondage room - her cell!

Leaving the
building, Larry hovered in the car park, his plan formulating as a
police car drew up. "Ah, a timely arrival, I must say!" he beamed
as two officers climbed out of the car. "A woman had the cheek to
use my phone! I just happened to walk down the hall to reception,
and there she was, replacing the receiver and dashing out of the
building!"

"Which way did
she go?" one officer asked.

"By the time I
came out here, she'd gone. It's incredible! The cheek of it!"

"We've just
had a call from a woman complaining about an indecent act of gross
sexual indecency taking place in your clinic."

"Oh, that
explains it, then!" Larry laughed. "She was obviously a
nutter!"

"Yes,
obviously. Perhaps we'd better have a look round, just to..."

"Everything's
in order, officer," Larry smiled. "If there had been any acts of
gross sexual indecency taking place in my establishment, I'd have
been aware of them - it stands to reason."

"Yes, I
suppose it does. All right, we'll leave you in peace, sir. Good
day."

"Good day," Larry smirked, before light-footing it back to the
clinic.
Right, Monica Moodie - now you're
in for a thrashing!

Striding
purposefully down the hall, he smiled at Brigit. "Everything go to
plan?" he winked.

"Yes, she's
locked in - and she's furious!"

"There's no
need to tell me that! Her mental state is easily determined by her
hysterical screaming and incessant hammering on the door. At least
she can't go running to Gina Cology now. I'll give her an hour or
so to exhaust herself, and then I'll slip in and tie her to the
examination couch and shag her arse!"

"Here comes
Lily!" Brigit cried, gazing through the window to see the screwed
blonde bombshell gliding across the car park.

"Ah, good!
Right, you man reception, and I'll have a word with Lily. Send her
to my room, will you?"

"Right, see
you later," Brigit smiled as Larry dashed down the hall.

Sitting at his
desk as the morose girl wandered into his room, Larry smiled. "Nice
to see you, Lily. Take a seat, and we'll have a chat."

"What's all
that banging and screaming?" the girl asked.

"The wind.
Now, Lily..."

"You... you
won't get your penis out, will you?" she asked fearfully as she sat
down.

"No, I won't
get my penis out, Lily. But I do want you to show me your
breasts."

"No! Please, I
couldn't possibly bring myself to..."

"Open your
blouse and lift your bra up, Lily. You'll be all right, I'll be
here to protect you should your breasts become aggressive and make
a move to attack you."

"Come and
stand next to me, then. I want you close in case they try anything.
They're in a terrible mood today."

Kneeling
before the girl as she unbuttoned her blouse, Larry grinned. "This
is the finest way to familiarise yourself with your breasts, Lily.
That's it," he breathed as she slipped her blouse over her
shoulders. "Now, lift your bra up. By doing this, you'll overcome
your fear of your breasts. It's a well tried and tested way
of..."

"You say that
to all the clients!"

"I have an
inclination towards repetitiveness. It stems from my early days of
uncontrollable childhood masturbation."

"You have
problems, too, then?"

"We all have
deep-seated psychological problems, Lily. I'm afflicted by many,
but I've learned to accept them. OK, are you ready to show me your
breasts?"

"Yes, I think
so."

Turning her
head and squeezing her eyes shut, the girl yanked her bra up, her
firm breasts tumbling from the red silk cups, her nipples standing
proud before Larry's wide eyes. Taking her firm mammary spheres in
his palms, he weighed them, stroking her long brown nipples with
his thumbs. Her areolae darkening as her breast buds became fully
erect, he smiled.

"I want you to
look at your breasts, Lily," he coaxed gently. "Just take a quick
look to familiarise yourself with them."

Turning and
lowering her head, the girl opened her eyes and focused on her long
nipples. "They're... they're looking at me!" she cried.

"No, they're
not! Look, I'm squeezing them, pinching your nipples. Does it feel
nice?"

"Yes, yes it
does! No one's ever done that before, it's very nice."

"You do it,
Lily - squeeze your nipples."

"No, no I'm
not ready to go that far yet. I'm nervous."

"All right, I
won't push you. I'm going to suck them, lick and suck your
nipples."

"All right,"
the confused siren replied, turning her head away and taking a deep
breath.

Taking the
girl's nipple into his mouth, Larry sucked hard, stiffening her
milk bud, bringing her beautiful sensations of sex. Looking down,
she watched him suckling, her fear slipping away as she began to
breathe deeply. Moving to her other nipple, Larry closed his mouth
over her chocolate bud, gently sucking the brown protrusion.

"It's very
nice!" Lily gasped.

"Why don't you
try it?" Larry coaxed, slipping her teat from his hot mouth. "Cup
your breasts in your hands and suck your tits into your mouth."

"No! No, I'm
nowhere near ready to..."

"All right,
don't distress yourself, Lily!"

"May I dress
now?"

"Do you feel
uncomfortable?"

"No, I'm not
used to displaying my breasts. Nakedness frightens me."

"Is there
something missing in your life, Lily?"

"Yes, there's
a void. May I dress now?"

"Yes, you may.
That was a good start, Lily. You did very well. What I want you to
do is..."

"I'm sorry I
ran away," she interrupted as she dressed. "But I didn't want to
see your penis."

"We'll deal
with your phobia of the penis when we've dealt with your fear of
breasts, Lily. Try and be positive about...

"Larry!"
Brigit yelled as she burst into the room. "She's escaped!"

"Who has?"
Lily asked fearfully, turning to face Brigit.

"I can't
remember. Oh, yes, Monica - she's gone!"

"Oh, shit!"
Larry breathed. "How on earth did she get out?"

"Through the
window!"

"How the hell
did she learn that neat little trick? She must have seen it done on
television, damn it! Perhaps she was a POW and felt it her duty to
try and escape. Well, there's nothing we can do other than wait for
the consequences. OK, you two, busy yourselves - I have some
serious thinking to do!"

Flopping into
his chair and resting his head in his hands as the girls scurried
out of the room, Larry sighed. Monica Moodie would bring in the
police, the health authority, Gina Cology, and Christ knows who
else! "Right, formulate a plan!" he breathed, grabbing the bottle
of whisky from the desk drawer and taking a swig. "Concoct some
lies! And get seriously pissed!"