Sex, Lies, and Beauty Aides (14 page)

“Why?”

“The day I met him at your ritzy party, the first time he laughed, it was the sexiest sound I’d ever heard. It made me melt inside. I was overwhelmed. Everyone seemed so out of my league. He flirted with me. For the first time in my life I felt like a real woman. He made me feel as pretty as you are. Special. Wanted. If I hadn’t felt so stupid, I might have tried to flirt back. When I lost my top I so embarrassed I couldn’t face him again.”

“What’s more important, finding love or the fear of making a fool of yourself? I remember that day pretty clearly myself and seems to me you held your own and gave him back more than he bargained for. I know you made an impression on him because he wanted me to introduce you. You’d never have been able to look him in the eye, so I told him to leave you alone.”

“What?” Sabrina grabbed Kat’s arm. “Why didn’t you tell me? I wish I’d known.”

“How would it be any different than now? You’re not even willing to fight for either one of them. What’s it going to take to get you to act on your emotions?”

Sabrina released Kat and threw back her shot. The liquid burned all the way down. After no breakfast, very little lunch, and the booze she’d had with Travis, she was instantly nauseous.

“Are you listening to yourself, Bree? I’ve heard nothing but Trent this and Trent that for the past three years and you only met him the one time. You’re obsessed with him. You fantasize about him. You’ve questioned me about him until I can’t stand the thought of him. All your secret precious dreams have to do with him. I always believed you were nuts. A silly romantic to believe there is one perfect man for every woman. Well, here you have two of them and you still you won’t take any chances. What are you waiting for? Christmas is almost here.”

“That’s all well and good, Miss Moneybags. You have everything. You’re the whole package.” Furious, she ticked off her fingers. “Money. Looks. A place in society. Mommy and Daddy ready, willing, and able to give their only child her every wish. I never had those luxuries.”

Kat’s face turned bright red, her nostrils flared. Even though her guilt for talking to Kat like this cut her deeply, she needed to vent. Kat opened her mouth, but Sabrina cut her off. Time for Kat to feel her pain. “How do you think it feels to be the butt of your jokes? Do you think it’s fun to feel inferior? Do you think I like knowing you and Jill have everything I want?”

Never had she spoken to anyone like this. Even to her own ears she sounded like a spoiled, petulant child. Filled with shame, but at the same time who was Kat to sit and pass judgment on her? Kat told her to get mad. She damn sure was.

“Ah—”

“I’m not done, it’s time you listened to me for once.”

Kat sat back crossed her arms and legs, scowled, and turned away.

So this was what it felt like to be in control. Liberating. “I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. At no time have I ever been anything but honest or loyal to you. Obviously you can’t say the same since you’ve been holding back. Your attack on me just now was vicious and totally beneath you. Sure I’m jealous of you, what’s not to be jealous of? My God, you’re gorgeous. You can’t walk down the street without men drooling over you. Just once I’d like a man to look at me the way they do you. Beauty and confidence ooze from your pores. God what I wouldn’t give to feel that just once.”

Kat stopped frowning, the scowl left her face, she looked down.

“My turn,” Sabrina said. “You’re so busy pointing at my faults let’s see if it feels the same when yours are pointed to you. What’s your truth? Why are you taking the hard way out? You should be out of college like Jill and I. Yet you’ve changed your major three times. You have degrees in Business, Political Science, and Music. You’d have your Master’s, yet you keep changing your major in the middle of last semester. The moment you get close to graduation you come up with another excuse to stay in school. Now you want to study the stock market.”

“You don’t understand”

“You’re right, I don’t. Your Uncle Jack owns a firm. Why not get a job with him? But no–you insist on taking the long road. At the rate you’re going, you’ll be the world’s oldest professional student.”

“I won’t do that this time.”

“And yet, you spend every spare moment at the clubs dancing with men, never the same guy twice. Your truth question is what do you want to be when you finally grow up? Your dare is quit clubbing, settle down and graduate, once and for all. Seems like I’m not the only one who hides behind a mask.” Sabrina stood, hyper-alert, and at the same time she wanted to crawl in a hole and die.

Kat scowled, huffed, drank her shot, and turned the glass over, allowing the last traces to run onto the table. Kat’s brand of retaliation. She knew full well Sabrina hated glass rings. “Since you’re so smart I’m surprised you don’t know the truth already. I can’t believe you’d say that. When have I ever looked down on you or lorded over you how much money my family has?”

Kat had to be equally stressed by the whole magazine situation. Never had either of them been spiteful to the other. Although Sabrina had to admit she’d been pretty hard on Kat. Then again Kat had been hard on her as well.

“I’ll tell the truth. Let’s hope you can take it. What makes you so sure my life is a piece of cake, topped with hot fudge, whipped cream, and a fucking cherry on top? Do you have any idea what it’s like not to have men take you seriously?”

“Please, you’re talking to the original wallflower.” Sabrina crossed her arms as if that were any kind of protection from Kat’s vicious words.

“Well let me tell you, you have it easy. If you don’t put yourself out there, you can’t get hurt.” Kat stabbed the air slicing right to Sabrina’s heart. It’s different for me. You don’t know if a guy recognizes your name or if they only want your body, never convinced they’re seriously interested in you. Do you think it’s fun to go out with a guy who spends the evening staring at your tits? He never makes eye contact because he’s too busy undressing you. God knows he already has the story lined up for his buddies in case you say no. And while all this is going on, you know full well no one will believe you didn’t have sex with them regardless of the truth.” Kat straightened her shoulders and cleared her throat.

“Oh and let’s not forget the backlash when those juicy tidbits get back to your family.” Kat shook a finger at Sabrina making her twitch like a child in the throes of punishment. “And make no mistake it always gets back to your folks because the media is a rabid dog on the prowl set to rip out your throat for fun of it. For the record, I want to find a job on my own. I don’t want people kissing my ass because I’m the boss’s niece.”

“I’m sorry—” She deserved Kat’s menacing words. How could she have turned on her best friend?

“I’m not like you. I didn’t always know what I wanted to be. I want a job where people take me seriously. I’m tired of being treated like a dumb blonde. Hell, I’m ready to dye my hair brown and change my wardrobe to that of a mousy librarian in order to be treated with respect and dignity.”

“A gorgeous head of hair, beautiful ocean blue eyes, the most perfect figure God ever bestowed on a woman, and wealthier than Bill Gates. Don’t forget that.” Sabrina joked hoping to lighten her friend’s mood. This was all her fault.

Kat turned on her. “See? That’s what I’m talking about. I pour out my heart and you make light of what I’ve told you.”

Sabrina almost choked. She was thoroughly and completely ashamed of herself. She’d been put in her place and she’d never felt so low. “Kat, I’m sorry, I was out of line. Will you forgive me?”

“I’m sorry, too. We’re quite a pair, huh? Here I’m envious of you and the fact you know what you want in life and you’re jealous and think because I’ve got money it fixes everything. Guess we both learned a lesson.”

Sabrina dropped onto the couch exhausted. “I know you think I’m unreasonable to search for the perfect man, but I can’t and shouldn’t have to settle for just anyone.”

“Sweetie, who said you have to settle? Sure I go out to dinner and the club. That doesn’t mean I bump fuzzies with every man I date.” Even angry Kat maintained her sense of humor.

“Kat, I didn’t mean it that way.”

“I know you didn’t. I also don’t believe there is one perfect person for everyone. I doubt there will ever be a man alive who can rock my world the way you seem to think love will. All I want to point out is you have two options here. There are plenty of other jobs available at other magazines or papers. If you truly want Trent, why settle for Travis? I’ll even set you up a date. If you choose Travis, quit and see where it goes.”

“It won’t happen on my hopes and whims alone. I’ve only spent an hour during a volleyball game with Trent. It wasn’t exactly round one of a speed date. My gosh, it’s been over three years. I doubt he’s given me another thought.”

“That’s what you think,” Kat muttered and spun away.

“What?”

“Forget it.”

“Kat, I’m not you. I don’t have a cotton-picking idea how to seduce Travis or Trent. There’s more to it.”

“So you’ve made up your mind then. Who? And why?”

“I think what I have with Travis is real. What I feel for Trent is a bad case of the hots or maybe an unhealthy case of all-consuming lust. Besides, how do I make it happen?”

“Honey, that’s the easy part. To actually find the right man worthy to seduce is another thing entirely. You’ve already done the hard part. Now tell me why you find Travis so appealing. One thing you need to know. Men are like bad drama queens, they don’t know the difference between Ophelia and fellatio until you’re doing it. Yes, they’re that stupid. Their idea of romance is to bullshit their way through life with the sincere hope you’re so in love with them you’ll be blinded to their flaws. If you want someone don’t lose him because you’re afraid.”

“You’re jaded. Men can’t all be that bad.”

Kat snickered. “I can always let you go out on a date with my long time, fiercely loyal, boyfriend Bob. Oh, and now I have Ed and Bugs.”

“I know all about your battery-operated boyfriend, but who are Ed and Bugs?”

“Ed is my electric dick and Bugs, well he’s self-explanatory.”

“God help me. The last thing I want to do is diddle myself.” She chuckled. “Although the odds of me having sex this century greatly improve if I consider it. Damn it, Kat, see what you’re doing to me?” She berated herself as heat raced up her face.

“Are you sure you don’t want to try? Its guaranteed stress relief and no emotional involvement.”

“Keep your boyfriends for yourself. I want the real thing my first time around. Thank you.”

Sabrina shared with Kat every minute of her time with Travis. They downed one more tequila shooter to celebrate Sabrina’s new focus. At least it was a start.

Pleading a bad headache, Kat went off to bed.

Sabrina on the other hand, afraid she’d chicken out, poured herself a shot then sucked it down before she dialed Travis.

She was grateful he answered the cell on the second ring because she really wanted to hang up. She rushed to get it all out before she lost her nerve. “Travis, it’s Sabrina. I wanted to know if I can see you tomorrow evening. I’ve been thinking maybe I was a bit too hasty this morning when I stopped our kiss. If you’re still okay with it I’d like to spend s’more time with you.”

Her head was spinning, anxiety filled her, worried she’d let her one chance get away from her.

A heartbeat passed and he took a deep breath. “Sabrina, of course I’d love to see you. Are you sure? I don’t want you to have regrets. You know I don’t have any idea how long I’ll be here.”

How she managed to spit out her words and not sound like a total nincompoop or a lousy whore was beyond her. Sabrina bit back the bile pushing up her throat. “I’m sure Travis. I’d rather take this chance with you now than to regret never taking a risk at all. If you want to, we can always discuss it after work tomorrow and figure out how to spend the evening. Since you’re the visitor here is there anything you’d like to do?”

“As long as I’m with you, it’s all that matters.” His voice dropped and got sexy.

She looked at the receiver. Tears prickled her eyes.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow. Good night.” She put the receiver down slowly, as if in a wonderful dream, her heart fluttered, drunk on Travis’ comment more than on the liquor.

“As long as I’m with you.”

Glorious words.

Sabrina reclined on the couch and reveled in the pure joy of knowing she might soon discover the pleasures of love and maybe even have sex. She closed her eyes and fantasized.