Sex in the Sanctuary (18 page)

It was as if he felt her before he saw her. That could be the only explanation he could give to why his head had come up just as she stepped through the doors. He’d taken her in all at once. The beautifully sculpted, heart-shaped face, the large, bright eyes and dazzling smile and a body that would stop traffic. He’d devoured her profile as she turned and talked with a kid who ran up to her. Her breasts tugged invitingly at the suit’s enclosure. His hands actually itched, and he swallowed as she turned, revealing a lush, plump booty, only partially concealed by her suit jacket. Cy thought of basketballs and pumpkins and suddenly wished he were a piece of silk so as to have an excuse to wrap himself around that booty and hug it ever so tightly. The picture of a sand-strewn beach wafted up in front of his mind’s eye, of him and an ebony goddess rolling languidly over the sand. That was where he’d seen her before! In his dream. Cy shook his head slightly and lowered his eyes, willing himself to lower his libido as well.

But he couldn’t keep his eyes off her. He watched, fascinated, as she tried to get someone’s attention. Who? Oh, the usher. She looked around, licked her lips and tried again. Cy watched her tongue as it darted in and out of her mouth, and before he could banish the thought, he imagined that tongue darting in and out of
his
mouth. He squirmed uncomfortably in his chair and once again looked down at his notes. He willed the discipline that helped him excel at just about everything he did to take over, but his body and mind betrayed him. The next time he glanced up, she was walking down the aisle, the suit’s shimmer accenting each captivating step. He
prayed to see her smile again and was instantly rewarded as she turned to greet the woman next to her as she sat down. The woman stared down her nose at Hope and spoke to her briefly before whispering to the lady on the other side. Cy smiled.
Jealousy will get you nowhere, you old coot
. Then he censured himself at the thought. What
was
he thinking? And why did he feel so protective over a woman he didn’t even know? Cy watched as her hair gently framed her face as she bowed her head and pored over the program. He continued to stare, hoping she’d look up again, so that he could catch her eye. And do what? Wink? Blow her a kiss? Shout out from the pulpit and ask for her phone number? Blatantly inquire if fries went with that shake? Lord, he was acting like a pimply-faced teenager. Shoot, he felt like a pimply-faced teenager, especially as he fought to cool down his body and lose the telltale bulge in the front of his pants. For the love of all things holy, it was actually throbbing! Dang! Would his jacket cover it? “Stop!” he whispered aloud. King looked over questioningly, but Cy refused to meet his gaze. Had he said that loud enough for King to hear?
Lord, I’ve got to get a grip.
He looked down at his notes again, then closed his eyes and started reciting the Lord’s Prayer. Finally, he and all parts of him began to relax. The afternoon session could now begin.

Vivian smiled warmly as she looked at her friend of over twenty years. Tai still looked good, but to Vivian’s observing eye, the strains of an unhappy marriage were beginning to show. There was a tension in Tai’s face that wasn’t there before, crinkles around and slight bags under her eyes that Vivian didn’t remember being there last summer. She reached out her hand and grasped Tai’s arm. “It’s good to be able to hang out with you again,” she said sincerely. “The workouts agree with you, too. You look good, girl.”

Tai smiled appreciatively at her friend and replied, “Thanks, Viv, it has been good seeing you, too.”

They were both quiet as Tai maneuvered her Lincoln SUV around the hotel’s driveway and turned onto the boulevard. Vivian glanced at her a time or two and thought she noticed a glistening in Tai’s eyes. Tai still didn’t speak, although Vivian knew there was a lot on her mind. She decided to let her friend take the lead. When Tai was ready to talk, she would.

Tai leaned over and switched the radio from a gospel station to her favorite oldies channel. She still thought part of
her love affair with these classic R&B tunes stemmed from rebellion at her father’s not allowing the music in their home when she was young. The soothing sounds of the Spinners talking about a rubberband man lightened the mood.

“I haven’t heard that song in years!” Vivian sat back and bobbed her head slightly. “This reminds me of Charlotte when she was in love with Danny ‘Heartthrob’ Jenkins.”

“How is Charlotte?” Tai didn’t know Vivian’s older sister that well, but she’d seemed pleasant and down-to-earth the few times they’d met.

“Charlotte’s doing well, finally getting over the divorce and moving on with her life.”

“How long has it been now?”

“Five years already. Can you believe it? She’s actually seeing someone, a man she met at a job fair two years ago.”

“How are the kids doing?”

“They’re adjusting. Brent has had a harder time with it than Darrin. He really acted out when they first separated, skipping classes, fighting in school. But since they’ve started spending the summers with their father, things seem to have calmed down.”

“And he’s remarried, right?”

“Yeah.” Vivian couldn’t keep the irritation out of her voice.

“You still don’t like her, do you?”

“I guess not, although it’s not really fair. She didn’t have anything to do with Charlotte and Danny’s marriage failing. I guess seeing any woman with him other than my sister gets on my nerves. Let me rephrase that, seeing
him
gets on my nerves. He caused Charlotte so much pain. I only see them at family reunions. And try to have as little to do with them as possible. I can’t believe Charlotte even invites him, but she insists it’s best for the kids. According to her, he’s still part of the family. And then he insists on bringing
her
. He’s still a dog.”

Tai smiled. “You know we have to love one another, sistah.”

“I know,” Vivian continued, groaning. “But we don’t have to
like
them, do we?”

Tai chuckled. “Hell no.”

“I guess,” Vivian continued, “a man’s going to always have somebody, no matter how he acts. What are the statistics now, like ten women to every man? The men sure take advantage of that, don’t they? They can always get somebody.” She looked at Tai.

Tai nodded, but kept her eyes on the road. “Speaking of men having somebody,” Tai said, changing the subject, “I bet you could start a choir with the women trying to climb into Cy Taylor’s bed.”

“A mass choir, girlfriend, one thousand voices strong!”

“I can imagine. His seminar was exceptional, and I hear his tapes sold out. Is it true he’s a millionaire?”

“Many times over. He’s had uncanny success in the stock market. Must be the anointing.”

“Millicent’s a blessed woman.”

“Millicent?”

“Isn’t she his lady friend?”

“She’d like to be, but no. Cy has made it clear that he doesn’t believe she’s his future wife.”

“It’s clear to her all right. Clear as mud. She led me to believe they’ve all but set the date.”

Vivian looked at her friend before replying. “Between you and me, I’m rather concerned about Millicent. We had a conversation last month, and I think that she thinks that he’s her future husband. My spirit tells me she’s in for a rude awakening.”

“Didn’t Cy invite her to the conference?”

Vivian thought for a moment. “More likely she invited herself. I mentioned Derrick’s participation just last week and
she said nothing of coming. My guess is she found out Cy was conducting a seminar and that’s what prompted her being an attendee.”

“She and hundreds of others. We put an insert with his picture on it in the brochure, you know. Word must have gotten around. You would have thought there was a rock star in the building with all the females who converged on him after service. I’m surprised I didn’t see Hope at the front of the line. I did notice she had on a new suit for the occasion. And I did see her finally finagle her way to his side in the reception room last night.”

“Well, I think it’s wonderful that women are so concerned with getting a handle on their finances,” Vivian stated with a smile in her voice.

“Right, on the man who
has
the finances more likely. Can’t say I blame them, though; the man even made my kundalini tingle!” “Kundalini” was a reference to the seventh chakra, the area of the body that supposedly housed sexual energy, according to her former New Age coworker Chandra, whom Tai had tried unsuccessfully to convert to Christianity. Publicly, she shunned Chandra’s New Age sayings. Privately, however, Tai had humorously adopted this particular word and in better times between she and King had often invited him to “stir her kundalini with his ding-a-lingy.”

“Girl, shut up!” Vivian laughed at this remark, remembering when Tai had first told her about this new addition to her vocabulary.

“Tell the truth, shame the devil.”

Vivian laughed again at the forthrightness of this first lady. “Tai Brook, you have no sense.”

“Baby, I’ve got five senses, and they were all working overtime with that man in the room. God forgive me, but I must admit that when I looked at him,
baby
!! Some thoughts ran through my mind, and not all of them were holy!”

“Girl, you a mess!”

They were silent for the remainder of the journey, each woman deep in her own thoughts. Before long, they’d reached their destination, Gates Bar-BQ. Tai and Vivian bowed their heads briefly before plowing into the succulent meat. It was one of the few times Vivian suspended her self-imposed “fish only” meat diet and ate a piece of chicken. If there was ever a place that made eating chicken a worthy event, it was Gate’s. She grabbed one from a stack of napkins and wiped her already greasy mouth and fingers.

“Ooh, I’d forgotten how good this was. And the sauce? Unh, unh, unh!” Vivian grabbed a long, thick fry and dipped it generously into the tangy, spicy barbeque sauce before taking a large bite. “Remind me to buy a couple bottles of this before we leave.”

Tai smiled at her friend’s pleasure. She wasn’t the only one who thought that Gate’s made the best barbeque sauce in the world. She pulled apart a piece from the pork slab she’d purchased. “Sure you don’t want a rib?”

Vivian’s stomach recoiled at the thought of eating pork, and she just looked at Tai and rolled her eyes before Tai continued. “Some of this nice, juicy pork, girl, it’s good for what ails you!”

“More likely, it will
be
what ails me!”

Both women laughed before Tai looked up and caught her breath, her eyes widening and then narrowing in a single motion. Vivian turned to see what had caught Tai’s attention and saw a petite woman with shoulder-length, brunette hair standing in line. She turned back around, giving Tai a questioning look. Tai sat back in her seat, took a sip of soda and visibly relaxed.

“Is that her?” Vivian asked quietly and cautiously.

“I thought it was,” Tai replied. Her shoulders slumped at the thought of her husband’s mistress, and suddenly the sauce-slathered ribs didn’t taste so good. “She looks enough like her to be her sister.”

Vivian turned again to get a better look. When she turned back around to gaze at her friend, there was compassion in her eyes. “So it’s still going on, huh?”

“The affair? Oh, yeah. King tries to be discreet and act like nothing’s happening, but I know.”

“So you two aren’t—”

“Please. And it’s going to stay that way. As long as his no-good ass is fuckin’ someone else, he won’t be fuckin’ me!” Tai reached down, grabbing another rib, and bit into it ferociously.

Vivian inwardly winced at Tai’s verbal bluntness but did not censure her friend. She couldn’t imagine how she’d feel or what she’d do if she found out Derrick was having an affair. She could only sympathize with Tai, knowing that there wasn’t enough mercy in the Bible to keep her in an adulterous marriage. Still, Vivian was in no position to judge what was and was not the right reaction where Tai and her marriage were concerned. She knew only that whatever happened, she would be there for her friend. Vivian continued after a long silence. “So what are you going to do? It’s been almost two months now. Things can’t keep going the way they are.”

“That’s just it, Viv, I don’t know what to do. As crazy as it sounds, a part of me still loves King. I thought I had my mind made up to leave him. But during the conference I was acutely aware of my church family, how much I love them and how much they mean to me. What would happen to that if I divorced the pastor? Where would I go? What would I do? And why should I be the one to give up the things and people I love when I feel I played an equal, albeit different role in Mt. Zion being the church it is today? I mean, really, do you think there would be a spot in the pews for an ex-first lady?

“I’ve thought about relocating because I know this city wouldn’t be big enough for both of us. Maybe I could go back to my family in Chicago or maybe to my relatives down
south. But how would that affect the kids? You know with the twins, the sun rises and sets on their father. How could he continue to play an active role if I move away? But how could I keep from killing his ass if I stayed in the same town?”

Vivian’s eyes widened, a look of genuine concern on her face.

Tai laughed out loud. “Oh, I’m just kidding, girl. King may be worth a lot, but he’s not worth a prison sentence with somebody else raising my kids.”

Vivian laughed as she took a sip of soda. She was thankful for the lightened moment. “I was getting ready to ask you, is you crazy or is you just lost your mind?”

“Yes to both those questions,” Tai said, smiling. Then the young brunette walked by, and the smile quickly faded from her face. “Right now, I’m taking it one day at a time. King and I are more like roommates than a married couple. I do my thing, he does his. We only talk when necessary and are civil for the sake of the children. I know about April, he knows I know and he’s still seeing her. Mama Max has talked to him. He keeps telling all of us that it’s over, but that’s a lie. Every time he comes home after being with her, no matter how he tries to hide it, it’s written all over his face. Those are the nights when I’m sure I’ll leave.” Tai took a deep breath as she sat back and stared out the window, trying to catch a glimpse of King anywhere in her future.

Vivian watched as the weight of the decision to divorce or not divorce King settled around Tai’s shoulders. She thought back to how sure she herself had felt moments before as to how she’d handle an affair in her marriage. But would it be an easy, cut-and-dried decision? Just like that, it’s over, bye? Much easier to say when the situation was hypothetical; much harder with the reality of twenty years, four children, two thousand members and one soulmate.

When Tai came home after dropping Vivian off at the hotel,
the house was quiet. The twins were at the movies with her neighbor. King was, well, King was wherever he was, with April no doubt, since the conference had ended that afternoon. Tai kicked off her heels and then grabbed them as she made her way through the living room and up the steps toward the guest room that was now her personal, private abode. She felt totally weary as she undressed, her conversation with Vivian weighing heavily on her mind. Thank God for Vivian. Though talking about it was painful, it had felt therapeutic to talk about King and their marriage, a conversation she knew would go no farther. With Vivian, Tai could be herself and not be judged, criticized or reminded that she should feel a certain way or speak a certain way or act a certain way because she was a pastor’s wife.

Tai stepped naked in front of the mirror. She eyed herself critically from first one angle, then another. She smiled triumphantly at her small bulge of a stomach.
Another six months and that baby will almost be flat again.
She cupped her breasts in her hands and pushed them upward and inward. They didn’t sag quite as much. She’d now lost twenty-five pounds. No, the breasts were passable, though after four children, the word “firm” would never be used to describe them again. She turned to the back and frowned deeply. No matter how many leg lifts and butt tucks she did, her booty was still feeling the pull of gravity. And what did she have to do to get that cellulite to go away?

She slipped into a bulky, terry cloth robe and headed for the kitchen. She stood at the cabinet, deciding between a glass of water, soda, juice or wine. She opted for Princess’s favorite which she now also loved, peach sparkling water. She grabbed a bag of popcorn and, putting it in the microwave, leaned back on the counter as it began to pop. She thought again about Vivian and their conversation. She smiled, thinking of the Sanctity of Sisterhood convention, the topic that she
and Vivian had talked about excitedly and continuously after the subject of King and her failing marriage was exhausted.

She enjoyed working with Carla on the segment entitled Sacred Sex. Tai laughed at the irony of her speaking on this particular topic. She hadn’t questioned when Vivian had suggested it, although Tai thought God must indeed have a sense of humor.