Sex and Your Job Search 2013: A Guide to Scoring Your Dream Job (21 page)

Second base
: It’s getting hotter and heavier. You’re answering general questions about your background and resume; they’re feeling out what you know about their company and uncovering what you want out of your career.

Third base
: Things start to get intimate. You satisfy the interviewer with stories of past work and educational successes. Sometimes this leads to a threesome or group interview, when more than one interviewer is introduced, usually a boss or peer.

Home run
: You score a job offer!

The minutes shown in parenthesis after the Base headings indicate the average time an interviewer allots to the section.

FIRST BASE (2–5 Minutes)
AN “OLD SPICE” INTRODUCTION
WITH GREAT EYE CONTACT

In the interview setting, first base consists mainly of a good introduction and connecting with your interviewer through great eye contact. The way I see it, comparing the introduction to first base is spot-on, because most of the action in this step happens from the neck up.

First base begins with the interviewer calling your name. You should respond by standing tall, smiling, and walking toward them.

What should you think of during this time? That Old Spice “I’m on a horse” commercial with that studly-looking guy who has devastatingly good eye contact and a winning smile. OK, his smile has a little bit of cheese to it, but you catch my drift. Mimicking the eye contact and friendly smile of the Old Spice character will allow you to appear even more confident and approachable, whether you are a guy or girl. And your interviewer will be happy that you appear relaxed and approachable.

I bet that if you walk toward your interviewer and think about the humorous commercial: “Anything is possible with Old Spice.
I’m on a horse
,” you will naturally smile, relax, and maybe even giggle to yourself quietly. Nerves? Gone. Questions like, “Will they like me?” Gone. You are on your way to rocking this interview with the Old Spice introduction.

Upon meeting your interviewer, extend your hand and give a medium-firm handshake, with two to three vertical pumps. The palm of your hand should be facing to your left. Try to stay away from a dainty handshake like an aristocratic person would give on
Downton Abbey
(great show), where the palm of the hand is facing down or up and they bend their knees out of respect.

Personally, from an infectious disease point of view, I’d like the fist bump to replace the handshake during flu season. Unfortunately, I don’t think we are there yet as a society.

FIRST WORDS:
“HI, I’M (Insert Your First and Last Name).
NICE TO MEET YOU.”

Generally, whoever comes to get you will introduce themself first. Here’s how it will most likely go down:

Interviewer
: “Hi, I’m John Public. We talked on the phone when setting up the interview. Nice to meet you in person.”

You
: “Hi, I’m (insert your first and last name). Nice to meet you as well, Mr. Public” or “Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Public” or “Glad to meet you, Mr. Public.”

After this, they will most likely say, “Follow me.” Follow them. Don’t feel obligated to make small talk unless something comes naturally. Just walk and pretend like you are as confident as the guy in the Old Spice commercial.

HOLD ME CLOSER, TONY DANZA”:
GETTING EVERYONE'S NAME RIGHT

One of the most famously misunderstood and funny lyrics of all time are those to Elton John’s “Tiny Dancer.” Both the TV show
Friends
and the movie
Almost Famous
have featured this phrase in a comically misunderstood way—as “hold me closer, Tony Danza.”

My point with this is to make sure you get the name of every person you meet during the interview process
right
, since it is really easy to mishear or mispronounce names in this diverse country of ours. This includes the receptionist, interviewer, and anyone else you meet who has unexpectedly joined the interview process. The great communicator Dale Carnegie said it best: “Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”

By clarifying the pronunciation of someone’s name, it shows that you respect the other person and everyone can appreciate this. Even if you screw up their name during the rest of the interview, at least you will have tried to make your best effort and the rest will be forgiven. Experts say that just by making an effort to say someone’s name correctly you will inspire the other person to engage and connect on a deeper level. As a result, there is a greater chance that the other person will like and remember you. Which you want, right?

If you do come across someone with an uncommon name and you’re even a
little
unsure of how to pronounce it, flip the situation in your favor by clarifying. The following lines work well. Use the same cadence you would if you were talking with a British accent, but without the actual accent:

“I’m sorry, can you repeat that?”

“Pardon me, I didn’t quite catch that.”

“Please, will you say your name again?”

“I still didn’t get that, can you spell it because I want to make sure I get it right.”

ON THE OTHER HAND: BAD IMPRESSIONS

Now, if you don’t clarify, you can easily make a bad first impression by using the wrong name during the interview. Here’s how it might go.

Me
: “Hi I’m Dom Bokich…”

Not You
: (A little bit later) “Like you were saying earlier, Tom…”

Me
: “It’s actually Dom, like Vin Diesel’s character in
The Fast and the Furious
.”

Not You
: “Don?”

Me
: “Dom-in-ic Bokich”

Not You
: “Dominique Bowkavitch?”

Me
: “Ugh. Write this down. D-o-m B-o-k-i-c-h.”

Not You
: “Oh, yeah, I should’ve asked you to spell it.”

I can’t count how many times my name has been mispronounced. Although when it happens, I keep it professional and don’t get snarky like in the example above. At this point of my life, I don’t even correct people. If you don’t ask me to clarify or spell my name, and you call me Dominique or Mr. Bowkeech, or something other than my actual name, I then just assume you don’t care about paying attention to details and have subpar communication skills. This is not a total interview deal breaker, but clarifying builds trust that you care about the other person.

In the above scenario, mispronouncing my name wasn’t Not You’s only mistake. Try to use Mr. and Ms. until you are asked to call someone by their first name and don’t sit down until you are invited to do so.

USE YOUR HANDS

When locking lips, it is a good idea to use your hands to gently touch the side of the other person’s face, hair, and neck. This is when things start to get going.

Likewise, going over your resume is when things begin to intensify in the interview. This includes you making sure that everyone has a copy of your resume and letters of recommendation (stapled together).

Here’s what you should say. After you’ve shaken everyone’s hand and as you are sitting down (wait for an invitation to do so), say: “I brought extra copies of my
updated
resume, which I’ll exchange for your business cards.” Smile and start passing it out. Even if you just changed the font, saying it’s updated gives the appearance of you being detailed and on the ball. “I’ve attached letters of recommendation in case you don’t have them. I also have a sample project in case you want to look at that, too.” Don’t hand this out until you’re asked.

Now that you can glance at everyone’s cards, there is even a smaller likelihood you will get someone’s name wrong. And if people (especially senior leadership) have to bail due to a long and good interview (they’re busy), you have their contact info for sending everyone thank you notes. From this point forward, follow their lead, as all interviewers will move quickly into their predetermined outline. Generally, looking at your sample project will occur toward the end of that outline.

USING YOUR TONGUE: THE INTRODUCTION

So far, the interview has been playful, with both parties exchanging pleasantries. Now, it’s time to let the excitement build and passion grow through talking. At this point, the lead interviewer (i.e., hot model) will think, “I really hope that this applicant rocks my world and that they are
my
dream date—the real deal—the hottie I thought they were. God, please let them be able to do the job, be teachable, and have decent communication skills.”

I’ll say it again, hiring you is on the interviewer’s mind! Really? Yes, really! They want to hook up with the perfect applicant. In their mind, that
might
be you. They don’t want to be wrong that they selected you for an interview and they want to get to know you. They’re seriously considering being in a (professional) relationship with you. The last thing they want is to interview ten people for a job.

They want you in their lives all the time (you won’t call in sick every other week). They don’t want you to cheat on them (i.e., quit after ninety days). They want you to contribute to the relationship financially (make or save the company money). They want your attitudes and values to match up. They want you to get along with their friends (employees and co-workers). They don’t want you to embarrass them (think Frank the Tank running down the street naked in
Old School
or, in this case, sharing classified corporate info).

You’re one step away from the official introduction. Before they begin, you will most likely be asked if you want a beverage. Say yes, as taking a drink will give you a couple seconds to think during the interview. And as you set the drink on the table, you will be able to look at your Seven Go-to Story Keywords in your padfolio. Boo-yah!

The actual introduction will vary from company to company, but will generally include a summary of the interview outline. Here’s an example:

“Dominic, thank you for taking the time to meet with us. Today is an opportunity for us to become better acquainted and to learn more about your educational background and work experiences. First we will look at your resume and job application. Then we are going to ask you questions, and we’re looking for specific situations and circumstances that you have encountered in your schooling and work history. Tell us about specific situations you’ve been in, what you did, and how it turned out. Don’t worry, we’ll repeat this later if need be. We’ll also provide you information about the position and organization. Then we will give you a chance to ask us questions. How does that sound? Dominic, our intention is that both of us get the necessary information to make a good decision. Please be aware that I will be taking notes on what you are saying, so my eye contact won’t be as good as you might expect (phew, right?). Don’t worry, I’m not writing any opinions, just the words you are saying. Are you ready to get started?”

The more you read that, the more comfortable you will be in the interview when you hear it. Listen for clues as to what the interviewer wants. I would recommend having your padfolio tilted and resting on your legs or on your lap at this time. If you can manage it, write a word or two on the pad of paper when you pick up on keyword clues of what the interviewer wants throughout the interview. For healthcare, we actually say the words “service” and “values” in the introduction. It’s like having someone say, “I love it when you kiss my neck.” OK, that was easy. Kiss the person’s neck. Or in the case of an interview, work the TIE (Teamwork, Integrity, and Excellence) Values into your answers.

Kissing is not just the beginning of “getting it on” and a means to an end during the sexual experience. By using the First Base techniques of maintaining good eye contact and using people’s names
throughout
the interview, you continually stimulate desire. The connection between you and the interviewer, as well as the intensity of the interview, will remain high when you do so.

Smile because you can claim you got to First Base with your interviewer and things are going your way.

A friend of mine was interviewing an applicant for an entry-level position. The applicant was in her early forties and clearly had been surgically enhanced. Her shirt was cut lower than it should have been for an interview.

My friend had just gone over his introduction of the interview where he said: “Now, I may not make the eye contact you might expect because I will be taking notes of what you are saying. I’m listening, but want to make sure I put your words down on paper.”