Sex (14 page)

Honesty. That was the main thing Heather was really starting to learn about from Josh. Being honest with herself had finally begun to bring back some of her confidence. After coping with her sister's battle with anorexia, her family's sudden financial problems, and losing both Sam
and
Ed to Gaia, her confidence had pretty much hit rock bottom. But Josh was changing all that. He'd reminded Heather who she was, and now she wanted to remind a few other people as well.

Not that a turning over a new leaf wasn't a beautiful thing, but in all honesty… spring couldn't last forever.

“What's up, lovebirds?” Heather began as she pulled up to Ed and Gaia. Only when she took a closer
look, she realized it wasn't Gaia. All she'd seen as she approached was the blond hair, and now she realized it was Gaia's new friend Tatiana sharing this very serious moment with Ed. Heather already felt somewhat unwelcome at the table, but she was simply in too good a mood to care.

“What's up,” Ed uttered in a monotone.

“Sorry about the ‘lovebirds' thing,” Heather said as she swooped into a chair next to them. “You two just seemed so
cozy.”

Tatiana smiled shyly as she looked back at Ed. Ed stared down at his fork.

“Where's Gaia?” Heather asked. The question seemed to weigh their faces down even further.

“Don't know,” Ed mumbled, digging back into his food with his eyes on the table. “We just got here.”

“To school?” Heather asked.

“Yeah.”

“We…?
As in… you and Tatiana?”

This question didn't seem to warrant a response, in Ed's opinion. Heather had never seen two people become more focused on their institutional lunches. “Well, where were you two?”

Tatiana shared a silent glance with Ed as if he was supposed to field the question.

“Doctor,” he said finally. “Tatiana came with me to the doctor.”

“Well, isn't that nice.” Heather smiled, racking her
brains for what might really be going on. “Why didn't Gaia go with you?”

Another question Ed didn't seem to deem worth answering. The plot thickened.

“Well, how are you?” Heather tried.

“What do you mean?” Ed replied defensively, looking up quickly from his meal.

Heather's eyes widened at his prickly response. “The doctor…,” she said timidly. “How did it go?”

“Oh,” Ed grunted. “Fine, it was fine.” Back to his food. Heather waited for Ed to supply a polite response, but given his particularly ornery state, she realized she'd need to do the work for him.

“Well, ask me how I am,” she said with a smile.

Ed looked up at her with a cold, disinterested stare. He seemed to be debating whether he'd even honor her request. But Heather was prepared to wait as long as it took. “How are you?” he finally asked sarcastically, making it clear that he'd been coerced.

“I am ridiculously, amazingly
wonderful,”
she replied, picking a grape off Ed's tray.

Tatiana smiled at her. Ed turned back to his tray. “That's good,” he muttered.

“Ask me why,” Heather prompted him.

“Why.” Ed sighed.

“Because I'm head over heels in love!” she announced finally with her largest grin.

“Coffee-in-the-lap guy?” Ed muttered with disinterest
as he bit into his sandwich. This was not the response she was after.

“Yes,
but he's so much more than that. Josh is like this…”

Ed began to loudly unwrap his brownie. There just wasn't an ounce of jealousy in him. He wasn't even listening. “Oh, you're no fun,” she said, slapping him on the shoulder. If Heather hadn't moved on to a far superior man, she would have been deeply hurt right now. Lack of jealousy equals lack of love, respect, and admiration. But instead she just looked at her former boyfriend, wondering when he'd turned into such a sour and mopey individual. Though the answer was obvious. It was right around the time he'd begun a relationship with a certain sour and mopey blond. A mopey blond who just happened to make a rare appearance in the cafeteria at that very moment.

“Well, there she is!” Heather squealed, pointing to Gaia at the food line, watching as she grabbed a tray and slammed it down on the counter. Perhaps Gaia would be more receptive to envy-inducing tales of Heather's new love life. In a way, Heather almost wanted Gaia to know of her good fortune even more than Ed. Especially now that telling Ed had proved to be such a thoroughly dissatisfying experience. “Ed…” She waved her hand in Ed's unresponsive face. “Ed, your woman has arrived,” she said, waiting for him to jump out of his chair or at least call to her…. No response.

“Ed…?” she tried again, watching him munch on his food with no expression.
“Ed—”

“Yeah, I
saw
her,” Ed snapped, giving Heather a surprisingly harsh glance. “Thanks. I've got it. She's here.”

This was getting stranger by the second. And far more intriguing. “Well, I'll go get her!” Heather volunteered enthusiastically as she shot out of her chair.

“That's not necessary,” Ed called to her as she headed for the food line.

“Oh, but it is,” Heather called back. “I really think it is.”

“GAIA!”

Gaia slammed her eyes shut the second she heard Heather's high-pitched squeal. Why wasn't she at sushi with the FOHs? The coast was supposed to be clear—that was the entire point. She'd
known
the cafeteria would be a mistake; she'd just thought she could get in and out before she'd have to deal with anyone. Stupid. Really stupid.

Flashbacks

“Gaia!” Heather called again as she pulled up next to her in line. “What's
up,
girl?”

Gaia tried to focus on her Jell-O choices and ignore
Heather. “Absolutely nothing,” she said. Translation:
Please, please go away.

“Cool,” Heather replied with the utmost obliviousness. She obviously didn't speak Gaia. “How
are
you, girl?”

When exactly had Gaia become Heather's “girl?”

“I'm fine,” Gaia replied, examining the rotting fruit options.

“Ask me how I am,” Heather insisted gleefully, rocking back and forth at the counter.

“How are you?” Gaia repeated back with the emotion of an android.

“I'm
awesome!”
Heather squealed yet again. “Ask me why.”

“Why?”

“Because I'm in
love,
that's why!” Heather began to perform a most unfortunate dance around Gaia as she tried to grab some soda. “I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love,” she sang quietly.

Gaia feared she might grind her teeth down to dust if this were to continue. Two things she really couldn't deal with right now: Heather Gannis… and love. “Congrats,” she muttered, at least trying to get Heather to stop singing. “Coffee-in-the-lap guy?”

“Yes, but he's got a
name
now.”

“What's his name?”

“Josh.”
Heather sighed. “Isn't that a perfect name?”

Gaia nearly dropped her tray on a student's head
when she heard that horrific name. Acid began to painfully burn at the base of her throat.

With the exception of Adolf Hitler, there was no name she despised more than the name Josh. But it couldn't possibly be
the
Josh. That could only be the remains of Gaia's fearful, paranoid feelings from her uncle's injection. After all, there were still traces of fear from whatever he'd given her; why shouldn't there be traces of paranoia? That's what it had to be. Because what could
they
possibly want with Heather Gannis? It couldn't possibly be that Gaia had gotten “too close” to Heather, nor could Gaia imagine any particular purpose that Heather could serve Loki.

You're being ridiculous,
she told herself.
There are eight million Joshes in this naked city, and you only know one of them.
Well… actually
three
of them would be more accurate if she counted Josh's clones—his “qualified replicants” as it were. What were the odds it was the same one? And even if it were, what could she possibly say to Heather about it?

I know a guy named Josh. He's got two clones of himself, and they all work for my uncle or my father. They've been trying to terrorize me for months now, and they've already killed Sam. Oh, yeah, Heather, by the way, Sam is dead and it's my fault. But it might not be the same Josh….

Paranoid. Definitely paranoid. Gaia did everything in her power to shake Josh from her mind and find a
place to eat her Jell-O. “Great name,” she said. The only answer was to humor Heather.

“Well, I want to tell you all about him,” Heather said. “Come on, we're over by the front tables.”

Gaia followed Heather blindly until she realized exactly who was at the front tables.

They were supposed to be at the police station. This is a goddamn ambush.

Heather and the FOHs were supposed to be at sushi, and Ed and Tatiana were supposed to be at the police station, thus her choice of the cafeteria. A choice that was increasingly proving to be a massive error on Gaia's part.

“You know what?” Gaia said, beginning a slow retreat in the other direction. “I just stopped in for a quick bite, and then I've really got to get to a class. No real time to talk.”

She scanned the room for another table and found a reasonably empty one to the side, where she quickly pulled in and slammed down her tray.

Heather stayed rooted to the ground, staring with bewilderment as Gaia took a seat and spooned herself a large glob of repulsive mango Jell-O. Once Gaia had ignored Heather's confused glances for long enough, Heather finally walked over to her table and sat down across from her. This was
not
what Gaia had hoped would happen.

“Okay, what's going on?” she whispered excitedly,
as if they were on some E! Entertainment gossip show.

“What are you talking about?” Gaia mumbled through her Jell-O, wondering how quickly she could finish it.

“Oh, come on,” Heather said. “Do I detect some trouble in paradise or what?”

Could she have been any more excited if she had?

“I don't know what you're talking about,” Gaia mumbled.

“Gaia,”
she moaned. “Here. Look at my face.” She grinned enormously from ear to ear. “That's what a person in love looks like. Now look at your face and Ed's face, and tell me that nothing's wrong.”

Gaia completely ignored Heather's suggestion and focused entirely on the remains of her wobbly Jell-O instead.

“Well, then, look at
them,”
Heather insisted, leaning in with a strained whisper. “At least tell me what
that's
all about.”

Gaia dropped her spoon into the bowl and glared at Heather. Why did she have to do this? Why did she have to throw this in Gaia's face right now? Wasn't it bad enough that Gaia had been ambushed? Wasn't it bad enough that she'd had to listen to Heather call her “girl?” That she'd had to listen to her
sing?
About
love,
no less. That she'd had to hear the name Josh tossed around, causing all kinds of horrific unnecessary flashbacks? Now Heather was going to force her to
look at the one thing in this world that could still actually cause her pain?

Fine. Fine, she was going to have to get used to it, anyway. She was going to have to get used to seeing him and feeling nothing. That was the mandatory goal, and it was never going to get any easier. Why not start today? Gaia gave Heather one last filthy look, took a deep breath, and turned around.

Her heart broke as she watched Ed staring down at his tray, looking absolutely sullen. Tatiana reached her hand across the table and gave Ed's forehead a little poke. When he raised his eyes to her, she gave him a sweet, sympathetic smile, and Ed mustered a kind and appreciative grin in return.

How
sweet.
How very
adorable.
How absolutely and completely sickening and unbearable to watch. Gaia felt her heart drop out from under her as her entire body went hollow. It was even more agonizing to watch than it had been this morning. Because this time it wasn't even for Gaia's benefit. It was just happening. Gaia had spent the last twenty-four hours doing everything in her power to kick Ed into Tatiana's arms, and there was Tatiana, crouched low to the ground with her net, ready and waiting to catch him. How very generous of her. How very disgustingly kind.

Gaia could feel her entire body flooding with a deep, primal hatred for Tatiana. Suddenly every single aspect of her was infuriating, from her ludicrously silky
blond hair, to her slim little nose, down to her elegant little waifish body, culminating in her coy and cuddly little you've-got-a-friend smile. Gen had really hit it on the nose. She'd gotten the whole picture in one two-minute meeting.
Princess Prissy Bitch. All hail.

Ed suddenly turned toward Gaia. He had caught her completely off guard, leaving her no chance to cast the appropriate coldness over her face. He must have caught a glimpse of every ounce of pain, resentment, and loss in her eyes, because she could sense his eyes begin to search hers for their connection again. And if she didn't look away immediately, he was going to find it—he would have looked at just the right moment to see the truth: that shunning him felt like a slow suicide and losing him to Princess Prissy Bitch was like medieval torture.

Turn away, Gaia. Turn away and get out. Think about Sam. Think about what happened to Sam.

With every ounce of her will, Gaia dropped an ax on their near reconnection, turning back around to Heather and leaving Ed nothing but the back of her head to look at. But Heather's idiot grin was no better a sight, and it became immediately apparent to Gaia that school, and all the people in it, posed an entirely untenable situation, at least for today.