Sewn with Joy (22 page)

“No, but I can come by tomorrow at eight o'clock if that will work for you.”

“Yes. Thank you. I'll see you then.”

As she strode off the set, Joy immediately wondered what she'd done. What would her parents think of this? What would Matthew?

She smiled thinking about him, and she knew he'd understand if she explained. Her parents needed money for her
dat
's treatments. This opportunity was an answer to prayer. Surely he would understand that.

Twenty

Children's ears may be closed to advice, but their eyes are open to examples.

A
MISH PROVERB

M
atthew paced the walkway in front of the quilt shop. He'd worked at his construction job for less than an hour before he couldn't handle it anymore. He had to talk to Joy. He had to find out if what Abraham told him was true. Had she truly started working for the television show? Worse, had she done so without first talking to him about it?

He didn't feel as if she needed his permission, but they should have at least discussed this. They were looking ahead to marriage, after all. What affected one person affected the other. And the community knew their connection too. Abraham said everyone assumed the bishop had changed his mind after they heard Joy had gone to work there. Didn't she understand how it made him and his family look in the eyes of the community?

He balled his hands into fists at his sides and then released them. Deep down he hoped Abraham was wrong. He wished it was just a misunderstanding. As in the game of grapevine, the story often changed when it moved from person to person. Matthew decided he wouldn't believe this news until he heard it from Joy herself.

He paused for a moment in front of the glass door and wondered if he should step inside again and ask Elizabeth if she had heard from Joy. Matthew had gone to Joy's home first, and they said she'd been planning on going to the fabric store after making a delivery. Her
mem
hadn't mentioned her daughter was delivering a dress to the television set, and he didn't ask. And when he'd arrived at the fabric shop, Elizabeth said she was late. This didn't seem like Joy, and Matthew decided to give her just a few more minutes. If she didn't arrive soon, then he'd walk in the direction of the TV show's location.

Beyond the sidewalk, cars and trucks moved up and down the street, filling the air with exhaust and fumes. Above, the bright golden sun blanketed him with oppressive heat, and Matthew wondered how his life had ended up the way it had. He'd come to Florida to be with his family, and he'd thought he'd found the woman he wanted to marry, but now he questioned that.
I should have stayed in Indiana. I should have stayed in a regular Amish community.
Yet even as he told himself those things, he ached over the idea of trying to love someone other than Joy.

The problem with living outside the box in a place like Pinecraft was that people often thought outside the box too. He couldn't think of one Amish woman he knew up north who'd go against the bishop's wishes so boldly. None who'd been baptized into the church, of course.

An older man rode by on a three-wheeled bicycle, and he curiously eyed Matthew as he passed.
I just need to go back to work. I'm wasting time.
The words barely crossed his mind when up ahead he saw a woman hurrying down the street. It was Joy, and her steps slowed as she saw him. She paused on the sidewalk about twenty feet away and then clasped her hands in front of her.

“Matthew. I was looking for you.”

“You were looking for me?”

“
Ja
. I went to your house. Your
mem
said you were at a job site. I went there and…well, you get the idea.”

“And why were you looking for me?”

“Well, since you are here I assume you know. I…I need to talk to you…I want to talk to you about a new opportunity.”

She twisted one
kapp
string around her finger, and her eyes met his briefly before looking away.

“Opportunity?” He took a step closer and nearly reached out to touch her, but from the uneasiness in her gaze he was certain she'd pull away.

Joy crossed her arms over her chest. “Well, at your job site I saw Abraham, and he said that he heard…about the opportunity…and he talked to you.” She ran a hand down her neck and glanced up at him. “So, I know you've heard.” She shrugged. “Everyone has heard.”

“I want to hear it from you, Joy.” Matthew didn't mean for his voice to sound harsh, but it did. He attempted to soften his tone. “Do you have time to talk? We can go someplace.”

Joy took a step toward him tentatively. She glanced through the glass door, and so did he. Elizabeth was sitting at the counter. She seemed to be completely occupied with embroidering, but Matthew guessed otherwise. He had no doubt the older woman was paying close attention to them—especially to how he was handling the whole situation.

“I can talk to Elizabeth. I'm not sure if she had plans already. It's my day to work, but I don't see any customers and last night she agreed to fill in for me this morning while I went…” Her brow furrowed and grew into deep lines of guilt.

“We can go to my parents' house. Or Big Olaf's,” he offered.

“Ice cream sounds nice, even before lunch. Let me go talk to
Elizabeth.” She hurried inside, but he didn't follow. He couldn't hear her words, but Joy talked with her hands and motioned to him. Something she said made Elizabeth laugh. He assumed it had something to do with the TV show, and that just made him madder. His anger, which had been simmering just beneath the surface, was starting to break through the cracks.
Does she think this is a joke? Does she think it's just a game? Is she making fun of me—of how seriously I'm taking this?

Joy hurried out a moment later, and she wore the slightest smile on her face. Yet the smile faded when she saw him, and soon they were walking down the street side by side.

She fell in step with him. Her shorter strides had to stretch to keep up with his longer ones, but she didn't complain. “So I assume since you talked to Abraham you know about my new job?”

He paused and looked down at her. “So you did get a job?”

“I did, and you won't believe what it means to us—not to just me, but to my sister Faith,
Mem
, and
Dat
too. We didn't know what we were going to do—”

Matthew held up a finger, and she stopped talking. He could nearly taste the anger in his mouth. Anger because she was taking this so lightly. Anger with himself for getting so wrapped up in her. “I just have one question. Before all else.” He spoke through partially clenched teeth.

“Ja?”

“I thought you were at church last Sunday.”

“
Ja
, I was. Remember, we had Sunday supper with Noah and Lovina afterward?”

“I remember, but do you?” He threw up his hands and sighed. “My father talked about the television show. He asked the congregation not to get involved with it or any of those
Englischers
.
They have impure motives. They want to use our way of life for their own gain.”

“I know many people believe that—including your
dat
. But… aren't you going to give me a chance to explain?” Tears formed in her eyes, but Matthew ignored them.

Her words choked out. “This job is an answer to prayer.”

“An answer to prayer?” He shook his head, not knowing what to do, what to say. Two
Englisch
women walked by and gawked at them. His guess was they'd never seen an Amish couple argue before. He hadn't seen it too often either, not even
Dat
and
Mem.
Something inside Matthew told him to just walk away. Just forget that he'd fallen in love with Joy. Just forget that he'd spent more hours than he could count imagining a future with her.

She reached over and touched the sleeve of his shirt, and then her fingers moved to his hand. She grasped it and squeezed it. “
Ja
, an answer to prayer.” She released a shuttering breath. “If we could just go and order some ice cream or a coffee I can explain everything.”

Voices filled the air, and a group of young Amish bachelors walked toward them. They carried fishing poles, and he knew they were heading to Phillippi Creek. They paused when they saw them and slowly walked around them, like a river parting around a large rock. And that's just how Matthew felt at the moment—like a rock with too many thoughts and worries rushing over him. Rushes of pain and frustration.

As the young men passed, one leaned in to the other. “That's the woman I was talking about,” he whispered.

“
Ja
, and that's the bishop's son,” the other responded.

Hot anger surged through Matthew's veins. “Listen.” Matthew pulled his hand out of hers. “Let's talk tomorrow. I need time to think. And when we talk, I'd like to go someplace where we have some privacy.”

“But don't you want to know why I accepted the job?”

“Give me a few days, Joy. I have a lot going on in my mind. A lot to think about.”

She didn't respond but simply nodded.

“I'll come by your house in a few days or by the quilt shop.”

He turned away and strode off. His chest ached as if a trowel had been jerked out of his heart with a firm tug. Guilt strode alongside him, poking and prodding with every step.
You should have listened. You should have at least heard what she had to say.

One part of him knew this, but the other part of him didn't care. She'd made him look like a fool. She'd made a mockery of all that their community held dear.
She doesn't understand. Our community is assaulted by everything on the outside, and now she's chosen to break it apart from within.

He'd seen the external pressures his
dat
had to deal with. He knew how hard his father worked to protect their community, their way of life. It wasn't an easy fight. The temptations of the world were a strong pull, and young person after young person walked away from their Amish ways, ignoring everything their ancestors believed to be true.

“Children's ears may be closed to advice, but their eyes are open to examples,” Matthew whispered as he crossed the street. His father had spoken those words more than once in a sermon. He'd just assumed that since Joy sat in church, nestled among her
mem
and sisters every week, she believed the same things he did.

What if everyone made up their own rules? What if everyone decided they knew what was best? Then their Amish community would crumble. Conformity to their plain living and simple lifestyle was what kept them together. If Joy chose her own way, made her own plans now, it was a forewarning of what was to come later.

Matthew walked to the house where he'd been working but didn't stop there. As much as he needed to finish that job—get the income—he wouldn't be able to focus his mind on work today. He continued walking and soon found himself at home. More than anything he wanted to be in the workshop, shaping the wood with his hands. The wood seemed to have a life of its own. It begged to be made useful. The creation cried for a creator—this is something his
dat
didn't understand.

Joy understood. She believed in him. He only wished she believed in their community, their way of life, as strongly.

Maybe it's better I discover this about her now, before I commit my life to someone who too easily lets the world draw her away.

Maybe discovering the truth about Joy was worth the very breaking of his heart.

Twenty-One

One thing you can learn by watching the clock is that it passes time by keeping its hand busy.

A
MISH PROVERB